Trans Ohio Uno

If you hang around Cyrsti's Condo much, you have read me write about the Trans Ohio Symposium going on about 50 miles from me in Columbus, this weekend.

Since Liz and I volunteered to help today, we were allowed to "sit in" on any of the workshops we could.  Both proved to be extremely interesting.

The first was presented by Kristen Precht-Byrd, who is an Assistant Professor in Applied Linguistics at Kent State University here in Ohio.  Among other things, she is working on "Tendencies in Gendered Communication."  Or, in other words, the tendencies  of how cis women and cis men tend to communicate in different ways. Some no real surprise- such as emotions.  Of course, cis women are the highest and cis men are the lowest of the genders apt to use emotional words.  But then, the professor began showing us studies of how transgender men and transgender women do or should use these tendencies to further each's personal transition to their non birth gender.

I'm not going to get too technical here and here is her email for more information: kprecht@kent.edu. 

On the other hand,  what I found extremely interesting was how across the board- trans men did not fit easily into many categories.  According to Professor Precht-Byrd (who is married to a transgender man) , she is still researching if there is an answer of why trans guys on occasion seemingly fall right in line with their cis-guy counterparts in areas such as emotions and negative judgement.  On the other hand, they seem to retain their feminine heritage and rank right with cis-women in other key areas. By the way, there were several trans guys in the room who remained true to their gender-by not saying much about their thoughts on the matter.  Sound familiar?

For once it seems, we trans women may have an easier tendency of shedding more of our male pasts than our trans guy counterparts. After we learn to communicate in the world as feminine critters.

What's it mean to us? A chance not to obsess on sounding like legendary actress Lauren Bacall   the American film and stage actress and model, known for her distinctive husky voice and sultry looks. Don't me wrong, I would love to sound like her but more and more I relate to her emotions on the screen.

Today I used an example from the 1942 classic movie Casablanca.  I answered one of the workshop questions (to Liz) on how would  I respond to the sentence "We went to the movies."  Liz and I went to a big screen re-release of it last year in a Cincinnati theater. I said now,  the World War II tragic theme was not what I remember the most. When I went this time, the movie  emotionally overwhelmed me to the point of tears as I viewed it from the eyes of  Bacall and Ingrid Bergman.  I wasn't going to even bring it up to the group and just leaned over to whisper it to Liz and then I had too.

I still have a standing paranoia that people think I'm trying too hard with this woman thing.  Similar to being mistaken (or labeled) a drag queen/tra--ny.  I have no idea of how long this phase of my transition will take to disappear but in the meantime (after today) I have a better working knowledge of how the binary genders communicate and where trans women and trans men fit in.

Our second workshop of the day was to go into a totally different direction which I will pass along later! 

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

I love Vanessa Lima's profile: A transsexual Persian/Mexican mix model!

Trans Ohio Symposium-Day One

Symposium is a big word.  The ancient Greek definition is actually different from what I thought it would be:
The Greek symposium was a key Hellenic social institution.
It was a forum for men of good family to debate, plot, boast, or simply to revel with others.  Hey, nothing wrong with that and I would be kidding you if I said none of that went on at the Trans Ohio Symposium which begins today (Friday).  The really big deal though, are the workshops provided.

I have found over the years, the best way to get your money's worth at a tour or a group event was to volunteer. By doing so, you can provide much needed assistance and learn more yourself.  Essentially it's a trade out (barter) -your precious time for your precious money.   At this time of my life, my time is a commodity I can trade, so Liz and I both signed up for day one today to help.

What is today? It's a day of presentations for what I call the "intelligentsia" (Latin this time for:is a social class of people engaged in complex mental labour aimed at disseminating culture.) People interested in such things can get college education credits from the sessions today as professional types dissect issues such as  transgender violence, prisoners, school students, partners, athletes and more.  Then tomorrow and Sunday-is the time for the "not so intelligentsia" such as me and others who are - discuss another whole range of subjects.

Wow! Such a weekend.  My problem is I have always been a conference "geek" and come away with too many things I believe I need to do to "conquer the world" I was always taught if you could come away with three and do them-that was an excellent return for your time. So knowledge and meeting Trans artist Pamela Ann Reed and Transgender veteran/activist Brynn Tannehill will be geeking moments for me. Finally, I will be interested to see how the mix of participants works out this year.  Last year the proportion seemed to be in favor of younger transgender men.  I feel much of our feminine population is still deeply closeted by need or is of the opinion of one of my friends that she is still a "tra--y" and only would go to party.

I tried to tell her, of course there will party time too-as in all great conferences but this one is so much more!

Keeping "A-Breast of the Situation"

I mentioned to my primary care physician during my last visit a couple weeks ago, the possibility of me needing a mammogram.

I had two reasons. The first was I have started to build some significant breast tissue I have had for a while and second-my maternal grand mother passed away in her 50's years ago from breast cancer.  He said he would do some research and make sure a specialist got back a hold of me with more information.

She did yesterday and I find out today what they think.  I wish I could record the call and pass it along to all of you.  The nurse did a masterful job of never quite saying exactly what the call was all about while at the same time giving me all the information.  The reason being, my gender markers are not changed at the VA where I get my care-she knew I was transgender and was leaving a message.  She knew I knew it but never really said it! Class.

New Cover!

If I didn't wait so long to grow my hair as long as it is, I would have pulled most of it out as I worked to get the finishing touches done on my "Stilettos on Thin Ice" book.

Thanks to Bobbie putting me in touch with the very patient and talented Sharon Wright of The Wright Impression design firm- she came up with a new cover which was well worth the wait!

Follow the link above to her site, plus we will feature her work later in another post!

I believe the change may delay other two or three days or so the book "going live" on Amazon and B&N.

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

Jen! Thanks for this comment!

I love the androgynous look!

I recently saw a guy waiting to cross a street in LA that was wearing a blue knee length dress. He had feminine cut brown medium length curly hair, and wasn't making any attempt to pass his face off as feminine.

I was really impressed!

I've many times thought that if I can't get to the point of passing well enough, that maybe I should just go with dressing feminine and accept what mother nature gave me as far as my facial features.

And I have really enjoyed your posts with these androgynous males.

Take care!

jen

And... here is another:

Cyrsti''s Condo MtF "Before and After's"

Some MtF gender transformations are nothing sort of amazing.  They can entail SRS surgery HRT and/or Facial Femininization Surgery or perhaps the skillful use of drag makeup.  Here are a couple of at least two million floating around on the web:

Summer's #1 Accessory

Like so many things in my noggin', I can't remember exactly when I saw this ad first for a woman's skin care product:  Your number one accessory this summer, is your skin! I do remember however, how much I wanted my skin to be just that. I had spent an entire lifetime aching to be like the girl and woman next door with cute tops, shorts, skirts and sundresses.  It all seemed to be the impossible dream.

I paid my dues in the summer time as a cross dresser. Due to work considerations, I couldn't remove the hair from my arms so I had to find the very rare piece of women's clothing which covered my arms in the summer.  I did end up finding a few tops here and there which were very lightweight and wearable. However, I just drew attention to myself  being the only woman in the room wearing long sleeves on a sweltering summer day.

My legs were a different story.  Even before I started HRT, I had no problem keeping my legs free of hair. In fact, the older I got, the less I had!  Very quickly I was able to do what most every other woman was doing around me- going bare legged in the summer time. Shorts/skirts-you name it-no panty hose. Like so many guys who cross dress, I was told I had good legs. So I shopped for a couple shorter denim and dressier flared skirts.  By wearing them, I found I could almost balance my covered arms with  "uncovered" legs.  My problem then became, how was I going to continue using my homemade set of foam hip pads? I always held them in place with panty hose because I always disliked the restrictions of a girdle.  The system wasn't perfect, but I got by. What I  finally ended up doing was cutting a pair of hose off well above the skirt line so the pads were in place but didn't show.

Now of course, all of those contortions are behind me, as I go into what I call another summer furnace.  For all you Cyrsti's Condo regulars, you know how much I bitch and complain what HRT has done to my body's thermostat.  Roasting in the summer and freezing in the winter.  Certainly I wasn't the only one freezing last winter in Ohio during the "Polar Vortex" last winter and to get even, it is supposed to be really hot around here this summer.

I'm a believer that "Momma Karma" giveth and she taketh away.  I certainly will "take the heat" for the chance of my skin being my number one accessory this summer.  The effects of HRT have smoothed out my skin and decreased my muscle mass, so I can wear sleeveless tops this summer.  I still don't wear many skirts, instead I stocked up on quite a few pairs of Capris from the thrift stores.  Finally, I took advantage of the Memorial Day weekend sales to pick up a couple pairs of what I call fancy "flip flops." To wear them, I managed a  DIY basic pedicure on my feet.  As far as my hair goes, hot wigs are out-my own hot hair is in. Not much of a big change except I can't reach up and pull off my hair to cool off!

So this part of the year is pretty cool- when it's hot because I have waited so many years to get here and it's everything I thought it would be.

Finally, If I get brave and not think I am overly drawing attention to myself at the Trans Ohio Symposium this weekend, I will ask Liz to take some pictures-maybe!

Dealing from the Middle of the Gender Deck

Following yet another tragic burst of violence which killed many in California this time, I read with interest more than a few views of how genetic women felt about the attack.  If you hadn't heard, female rejection was stated as one of the main causes of the random violence.  Many times, when I'm looking for a genetic feminine written reaction to a tragedy such as this, theFrisky site usually never lets me down.  This time the site ran a post called "Not All Men Are Dangerous, But Yes, Women Do Live In Fear Of Elliot Rodger's Fury."

We have discussed here in Cyrsti's Condo, the serious need to be increasingly aware of how our world as we transition. How we need to learn how to be extra safe in it as MtF transgender women or cross dressers. This last incident though is extra scary to me partly from all my life experiences dealing from the middle of the gender deck.

As a guy, I knew a few other guys who were flat out scary in any number of ways.  I had a dishwasher in one of the big restaurant kitchens I ran who I told regularly "when he blew up and headed to his car for a gun to shoot the rest of the cooks who harassed him-give me five extra steps to get out the back door."  It got to the point of when I told him something to do, I asked. It's only now I'm beginning to learn what women feel like on a much broader spectrum.

Toss in the fact, that anyone and everyone seems to be able to come up with a semi automatic weapon in this country and the world becomes even more scarier.

I remember vividly the days when I was searching the dating sites for even just a friend. What I found from the male side of aisle were mostly who thought somehow I was desperate for their company, or the ones who only wanted to meet me in an out of the way motel where their wife wouldn't find out.  I did set up very public dates with a few-ended up being stood up more times than not and pretty much just gave it up.  I can't say some of those guys I didn't meet weren't like the ticking time bomb Elliot Rodger was.

Obviously, I was never the guy Rodgers' was and luckily only knew a select few that were.  I can understand the headline though and resent it because of what it says about men.  On the other hand, more and more now, I can see why women are thinking it.