Transgender Girls in the Dating World

Recently I came across a post called "Would you be seen with me?"
The stark simplicity of the question is certainly a subject most transgender women and men have thought of.

If you are out and about and date-it's an all encompassing question. Especially if you do- or are considering dating men-it's a bigger question.
Before I comment, here is an excerpt from the post written by Racheal McGonigal (right)

"So who is up for a date? It is not really the right question to be asking. It should probably be, who is prepared to be seen out on a date with me? It takes a very special man to date a transsexual and that is a shame. Believe me, men love transsexuals but being seen with them is a different story."
t is some eight years since I have been in a relationship and I miss the closeness and cuddles. Recently, I meet a really nice guy. Average to good looking, fit, can communicate, we get on. First date went well, we meet in a bar and I admit I have never felt like this before. He told me he felt the same and so he stayed the night, both of us saying it was never our intention. Next day we walked hand-in-hand around the viaduct, ate in cafes and drunk in bars. We played pool and he never batted an eye lid. The romance continued. He has come to my place and stayed the night several times but now I see a problem: he is scared of what his 18-year-old son, middle-aged beer drinking flat mate, former partner and workmates will say. He says he doesn't care, that he wants us to be friends and has similar feelings for me, but he won't introduce me to his circle. Peer pressure. Time will tell what will happen between us but he is a special man. It is a hard choice when it's the bigotry of friends that put this pressure on him."

I'm far from being an expert at dating a man.
Here's my record over the past four years: One was a prince, one moved away, one so-so and four just out and out stood me up. I'm certain I would have been twenty times more popular if I would have accepted the ever so popular "which hotel do you want to meet at?"
Obviously, I didn't have to be told I was not the kind of woman a man would bring home to his family nor did I ask. But I was also not the sexually easy stereotype we trans girls fight through.
Look, I'm sure in many ways we transgender women are experiencing the same dating trials and tribulations as genetic women. Also, my older lesbian friends tell me their dating scene is nearly impossible to be a success in (at least around here).

I've written so many times how wonderful it is to have my little circle of friends...all of whom are genetic females...if that tells you anything!

Best of Brini!

Ever heard of Ben Sanders/Brini Maxwell? I had barely until a friend kept bugging me about her videos. Here's a Best of you may enjoy:

Queen of Cebu

From the Business Mirror.com : a new Queen of Cebu will be crowned pretty soon. GGs, or genetic girls, need not apply. This a competition for pre-op or post-op ladies only, as long as she identifies herself as a transgender woman, a male by birth.

Being the only son of an affluent Cebuano family, one might think that the life of Bee Urgello (left)  was always about privileges and getting your way around without any hassle. It was a different story for her as she had a different life. Instead of being served by maids in their huge house with a helipad, the third winner of the Queen of Cebu crown lived independently. She describes her life as “a drama you see happening in movies.” It was not easy for her family to accept who she was. Her parents somehow understood that she is gay, but for her to dress like a woman was simply unacceptable for them. She decided to runaway and in order to support herself, she rented a small place and worked in a call center. She rode a jeepney, did her own laundry and prepared her own food. She candidly shared how tempted she was to go back home, but she just knew that the comfortable life would not make her happy at that time. In one of her interviews, Bee shared that her lowest point was probably when she was laid off from her work. With only a hundred pesos left in her wallet, she settled for one piece of bread per meal, which cost Php2 each. She called her mom but she was told that she can only go back home if she agrees to “stop dressing up like a woman.” This time, more determined, Bee found a new job and was once again accepted as call center agent.

Read more here.

Top 10 Cross Dressers

Always fun to check out a "top ten" Japanese You Tube Cross Dressing Video:

Stuff

Bought a new mattress. It's one of those memory foam deals. (Hope it has more memory than I have!) I read the directions for once in my life on anything. (Hormones?)
The instructions said to let it breath...Really? It doubled in height in the first 4 hours and now I'm worried I will wake up on the ceiling.

Watched the Anderson Cooper show which had the interview with Mandi who is a bottle baby transsexual:


Mandi, who was born male, spoke out for the first time, claiming that a hair loss treatment caused him to become transgender. Should have tried that on my Mom. I got into my Dad's stash of whiskey and now....
After watching the interview I wondered why it was sending all the "trans watch dogs groups" into a frenzy.  I went into a frenzy thinking I wasted part of my life watching such a ridiculous act. I'm sure Anderson was too.

Temperature finally dropped about 30 degrees and yes I am cold already. Damn hormones. Hope my sweater isn't hidden under my new breathing mattress. (Does it snore?)

Recently one of my most asked questions resurfaced. A genetic acquaintance asked me if the hormones were making me crazy like the rest of us. Hard to say-define crazy?

Have to go. The mattress is fighting me for the television remote.

Atlanta Cotillion Saturday

Hundreds of men in dresses and their tuxedoed dates hit the Atlanta Cotillion XI Ball on Saturday, Sept. 15 at the Foundry at Puritan Mill. After a full season of fundraising parties, they’ll be there to see this year’s class of “debutantes” and find out who’ll be crowned queen with the most money for AID Atlanta. Last year, Cotillion raised a record $171,026 for the HIV/AIDS agency.

We have discussed in depth how wonderful this event is!!!!
Stana over at Femulate usually has an unbeatable collection of pictures from the event!

Transgender Formula

Every once in a while here in Cyrsti's Condo I like to discuss the powerful role of the mirror in the life of a transgender person.
The big problems with mirrors are they are pathological liars. They can only do what you want them to do. As you become lost in the eyes of that bewitching creature looking back at you in the mirror-in mere moments you can become just as lost out and about in an unforgiving public.
Let's call the process trans-physics.
Mirrors and pictures are one dimensional.
I have a friend who critiques the most attractive Flickr and YouTube cross dressing pictures and videos he can find. Rightly or wrongly, he uses other objects in the scenes to judge (among other things) the size of the person. Certainly the majority of us born with a taller, thicker body. No problem, we can use any number of photo tools to be one dimensionally attractive. Of course, there is nothing wrong with that until you walk out the door.
At that point you have moved into advanced trans physics. You are a three dimensional person - suddenly the good old mirror doesn't mean that much.
At this point, if you aren't scared to death-check yourself to see if you are still alive!
Assuming you are alive, lets work a couple of very real factors into our formula. (Bare with me, I didn't mention I'm a functional illiterate in math!)
Studies show human beings determine things like gender very quickly as they observe others. This is good or bad. Good of course if you are successful in projecting your gender, even if it for a couple seconds. Bad of course if you don't. That's another topic for another day.
The other factor is the blood smell.  Humans are predators and are quite capable of picking up the vibe of "something isn't quite right" with that picture. The genetic female of the species is quite good at it.Many times eye contact and a little smile will disarm the situation.
I can write literally pages and pages on this causing your eyes to bleed.
Lets try a formula: Tr+P-B= Pr or Trans person + projection - blood = presentation.
Just remember it's a highly simplified idea from my highly simplified mind but all in all it works.

Finally, let me toss in one more word about those pesky mirrors...they can be a girl's best friend when you are out. A quick check to make sure your hair, makeup or outfit is not off kilter is always a good thing. A good hint is to hold an article of clothing up in front of yourself in a store in a mirror. It's a great time to give yourself a good once over!

The "Out" Door Opens Again!

From Lexie Cannes :

 THE GUERRILLA ANGEL REPORT — First it was musician Laura Jane Grace in the Spring, followed by film director Lana Wachowski’s debut this Summer. Now Australia’s Lindsay Walker, an artist who has previously drawn a number of covers for The Phantom comic book series, has recently made her transition to female official. While Walker may not be as famous as Grace and Wachowski, the comic book phenomena is nothing to sneeze at. Like her trans peers elsewhere in the art world, Walker becomes a role model for trans people following comic books in general and The Phantom in particular. In addition, the knowledge of a trans artist in the business helps “normalizes” the presence of trans people. Thumbs up to Lindsay Walker, another trans role model.

Checking the Levels

Due to need, the Labor Day week in my life (a couple weeks ago) was an extreme reversion to my male self. Of course it was tough mentally and physically.

I also know even mentioning such heresy would lead me to extreme degradation at the hands of the trans nazi's and rad fem's just to name a few.

Were they right? Was I really a gender impostor because I waited so long to transition?
No. I am who I am. As all of you know (in a similar situation) there is and has been considerable soul searching in my life to arrive at this point.

The whole experience proved to me the extreme gender fluidity of my existence.

I don't believe I mentioned last week I also came out to the oldest closest friend still left in my life. She was visiting for the weekend and working with me again.
Unfortunately, timing was at it's best and worst to do it and had to be very confusing to her. Here I was telling her I was taking female hormones and wanted to spend the rest of my life as a woman-in the midst of one of the most masculine throw back weeks of the previous year. I was not a cross dresser, I was transgender and did she know what that meant?

Her reaction was she kind of knew but didn't totally believe it because I was one of the most masculine men she had ever known. She also didn't know how she would react in the future to the new me.  Fair enough. Can't ask for anything more. I should mention she lives quite a distance from me now and here I was in my most male mode telling her all of this?
My initial reaction was, why would she even believe it?

So, you are thinking where is the best of this?
The best was telling her to say goodbye. The new me wouldn't be able to handle the heat and the physical part of out project like I used to and this was only the beginning. It was very easy for me at that point to tell her I hoped we would remain the close friends we had always been but the changes were coming. There was nothing she could do about it and I was extremely happy about the process.
Conversation over.

She is four hours away and I am refilling my feminine gender fluids. She is off my "coming out" bucket list and we are still on speaking terms.
Bottom line is I am sooooo happy all of that is over!