Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Checking the Levels

Due to need, the Labor Day week in my life (a couple weeks ago) was an extreme reversion to my male self. Of course it was tough mentally and physically.

I also know even mentioning such heresy would lead me to extreme degradation at the hands of the trans nazi's and rad fem's just to name a few.

Were they right? Was I really a gender impostor because I waited so long to transition?
No. I am who I am. As all of you know (in a similar situation) there is and has been considerable soul searching in my life to arrive at this point.

The whole experience proved to me the extreme gender fluidity of my existence.

I don't believe I mentioned last week I also came out to the oldest closest friend still left in my life. She was visiting for the weekend and working with me again.
Unfortunately, timing was at it's best and worst to do it and had to be very confusing to her. Here I was telling her I was taking female hormones and wanted to spend the rest of my life as a woman-in the midst of one of the most masculine throw back weeks of the previous year. I was not a cross dresser, I was transgender and did she know what that meant?

Her reaction was she kind of knew but didn't totally believe it because I was one of the most masculine men she had ever known. She also didn't know how she would react in the future to the new me.  Fair enough. Can't ask for anything more. I should mention she lives quite a distance from me now and here I was in my most male mode telling her all of this?
My initial reaction was, why would she even believe it?

So, you are thinking where is the best of this?
The best was telling her to say goodbye. The new me wouldn't be able to handle the heat and the physical part of out project like I used to and this was only the beginning. It was very easy for me at that point to tell her I hoped we would remain the close friends we had always been but the changes were coming. There was nothing she could do about it and I was extremely happy about the process.
Conversation over.

She is four hours away and I am refilling my feminine gender fluids. She is off my "coming out" bucket list and we are still on speaking terms.
Bottom line is I am sooooo happy all of that is over!

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