Transgender Acceptance

Sunday was a very busy day, with many different errands to run and people to see.

It was a beautiful sunny fall day, perfect weather for leggings and my powder blue light sweater. Plus, for once in a very long time, I felt healthy with no aches or pains in my foot. Naturally, it made walking so much easier and I did a lot of it.

Before we left, I had a chance to see CBS News Sunday Morning show on the television. One of the show's features was a revisiting of a show five years ago with several transgender kids. It was very well done and I have added a link here if you haven't seen it. I would check it quickly before it goes away.

Then,we started the day by going to a large game/restaurant venue to pick up what turned out to be a very generous donation to this years Cincinnati Witches Ball. The place had just opened so there were very few people around to notice or be noticed.

From there, we headed back across town to attend a memorial for a dear friend who passed recently. His sister was holding the memorial for his partner in a local tea/coffee shop. As Liz headed for the rest room, I was left to negotiate the ordering process. Since I am not really a tea drinker, I opted for a dark roast coffee and ordered Liz her tea. In the midst of a very busy venue, I received extra ordinarily good service I thought and most of it came because I am transgender. We were asked at least three times if everything was OK.

Ironically, I am fairly sure I wasn't the only trans person in the room. I was introduced to the "wife" of an obviously very gay man. I was impressed by how the trans woman could navigate the crowded surroundings in a pair of impossibly high heels. In fact, the shoes, combined with perfect makeup (to me) gave her away. Plus, she refused to make eye contact at all.

Next, it was time to say our sad goodbyes and head to a very busy grocery store for our weekly shopping. Other than dodging mean old people in electric carts, the whole trip was very mundane. People aren't there to notice anyone and the clerks are in "check out and get out" mode.

Our next stop was a fun one. We had a Witches Ball committee meeting at the place we are having the ball next week...one of the bigger local micro breweries. They have a big party room we are renting. The meeting always gives me a chance to sample one or two of the brewery's fall offerings. These days, two are about all I can handle! We were able to sit outside and conduct the meeting and figured out we were still missing a couple items for a gift basket we are setting up an auction for. So, it was time to leave the brewery, another very accepting place and head to a giant specialty beer store and purchase items for the basket.

The beer store is attached to a huge grocery store, so again Liz and I had to walk a long way to even find the beer section. Find it we did and our day was almost over.

As we made our way back home, I had a chance to reflect back on the day and how far I have come in the world as a transgender woman.   

Coming Out Day...Again

I have been out for so long, I don't normally give much thought to the National "Coming Out Day" which was yesterday.

As I have always written about, coming out can be on very many levels. As little as cross dressing and going out on rare occasions when you are safe, all the way to living full time as a transgender woman. Both are equally as important to the overall trans cause.

Through all of this though, I had my own "coming out" experience this morning. With our changing weather and numerous errands to run this morning, I had to go my wardrobe and find an outfit which was comfortable and was designed to blend with the majority of cis women I encounter. I came up with my long sleeved Durango, Colorado railroad shirt, along with a slightly faded pair of leggings with a pair of tennis shoes.

Normally, I am not real impressed with yet another rather mundane outfit but this morning  However, today somehow was different. For once I accepted I had arrived. This was life as I hadn't really planned for but found anyway. 

The coming out process for me went something like this.  I always knew my goal was to blend. Early on I focused on professional women around me. As I progressed though, I decided I loved the "hippie" bohemian styles from my youth. Finally these days I have settled on comfort and whatever style I can afford. I love this part of the year because I can wear my soft sweaters. colorful leggings and boots.

Most importantly, I have reached a point of having confidence in my feminine appearance which accordingly has acted as a deterrent to my gender dysphoria.

Whatever coming out means to you, building confidence could be your best friend. After all, the great majority of us start so far behind cis women applying makeup and having understanding of what outfits are flattering or not. One of the major problems is battling the mirror which always tries to lie to you and going through our teenage years when we are much older. Which leads to the stereotypical mid aged cross dresser in the mall stuffed into a mini skirt and heels.

Rest assured, it is all part of the coming out process. Here's to hoping yours is coming along well too!

Victoria's Secret becomes Inclusive

After years of excluding transgender and plus size models in their stores advertising, Victoria's Secret has finally become more inclusive.

Starting this month, Victoria’s Secret is collaborating with British designer Emily Bendell. See-through bras, lacy panties, bodysuits with sharp geometric lines and garter belts in shades of crimson, black and white can be found at victoriassecret.com and in seven select stores in the U.S. and U.K. as part of the Bluebella collection, Bendell’s brand. 

The collection has a twist — that’s because it fulfills parent company L Brands Inc.’s promise to update its marketing strategy. Transgender model and actress May Simón Lifschitz and plus-size model Ali Tate Cutler, along with Olivia Sang and Laura Rakhman-Kidd, can be seen in advertisements for the collection on the company’s web site and on images inside and outside of the stores carrying the line. These include New York’s flagship along Fifth Avenue and London’s Bond Street store. Another step forward!

Trans model May Simon Lifsschitz

Yet Another Group?

Perhaps you remember the transgender woman I have called "The Moderator" here in Cyrsti's Condo. She is the one who ran all of the transgender - cross dresser support group meetings I normally attend, as well as most of the trans socials.

For some reason I don't know, she abruptly left the Crossport group this week. I would imagine sooner or later I will hear gossip why but I haven't so far.

In the meantime (and very rapidly) the expelled member has started her own group. So far she is trying to mimic the well established first group by hosting two support group meetings a month, plus at least three socials.

So far, Liz and I have been invited to join the new group on Facebook, plus the first social this Saturday night. I am not sure what we are going to do yet.

On one hand, I wouldn't mind going. On the other, I would like to have a few more details on what caused the split.

This Saturday is one of the rare days during the college football season which The Ohio State University Buckeyes aren't playing. So, Liz and I have a open possible date night.

I still have a couple of days to figure it out and see what the original group does to schedule any of their regular socials.

No need to hurry!

Truthfully, I don't think this city should be asked to support two groups, seemingly so alike.

Sometimes the Transgender Future is Bright

Every once in a while, I happen upon an extremely positive story which will impact the future of transgender women and men everywhere in this country.

Most of the time it's difficult to realize how much of what we face today comes from the hands of very old and white men in power. They are clinging for dear life (along with a certain base of people) to the archaic idea of making America White and Male Again is the only way to go.

At that point a story or post always comes along to give me hope. Here it is:

Samantha Boucher is on her way — both to Iowa for the 2020 U.S. Senate race there and to becoming the first openly transgender person to manage a U.S. senatorial campaign. Boucher, 24, will head Democratic candidate Kimberly Graham’s Senate campaign in the state against the Republican incumbent, Joni Ernst.

“Just the opportunity to do something so huge, to have a national impact, potentially, that really excites me, and I’m really looking forward to sinking my teeth in,” Boucher told NBC News.

Trans people are entering the political arena during an era when their rights are increasingly under attack — from a recent military ban on trans service members to myriad Republican-backed “bathroom bills.” At least 20 trans candidates have been elected to city and state offices across the country in recent elections. Prominent trans activist Sarah McBride recently launched her 2020 campaign to run for the Delaware senate. 

For more go here, to NBC News.

Success?

Somehow, someway, I have been able to line up a couple speakers of color for this year's Cincinnati "Transgender Day of Remembrance." Now, all I have to do is find a couple more before the November event on the 20th.

The whole situation has taught me how isolated I am from the transgender community as a whole and in particular, transgender people of color.

The event itself is turning out to be an evening to be proud of. We have a class venue which is donating it's space free. With plenty of room for the participating groups, such as HRC, GLSEN and Crossport to set up in. Crossport is the local transgender - cross dresser support group I am part of.

Photos of the deceased trans people who died in this country this year will be presented on  an endless loop during the event and even a showing of the short documentary film on Leelah Alcorn will be shown. You may (or may not) remember, Leelah was the transgender teen who committed suicide locally around here a couple years ago. Her parents were forcing her to go through a Christian form of gay conversion therapy.

Even the catering is being set up to satisfy the needs of Vegan and Kosher attendees.

So far, so good on the planning!

Surprise!

Yesterday was actually my 70th birthday. I thought I managed to keep it relatively undercover with just my partner Liz, daughter Andrea, and a few other friends knowing at all.

After choosing where I wanted to go for my birthday dinner out, we headed out. It was chilly enough for one of my lightweight sweaters and leggings.

As we went towards the restaurant I picked, even I figured out we were going the wrong way. I am still fairly new to driving around here and Liz knows all the short cuts, so I trusted her to get us there and I would soon be eating creole cooking soon,

No such luck. We seemingly drove forever before I figured out my birthday venue was going to be denied. I was more than a little upset as we entered this little off the beaten track brew pub. Then I realized I had been scammed. Sitting around a big table was my daughter, grand kids and son in law. I couldn't believe they were able to trick me so completely. At least it was for a good cause.

The beer and food was good. Then came the gifts.

I was given a necklace with my daughter and I's birthstone and the best present of them all...an T-shirt which said "Ohio State University Grandmother." OK, I couldn't help but cry. That simple shirt meant so much to me on so many levels.

Of course, my Granddaughter is a freshman at The Ohio State University (which I am a HUGE fan) and to have the word Grandmother attached was just too much to bear.

So all in all, I had a wonderful birthday. Even though it was a complete surprise!

Nicole Maines

Transgender activist and actor Nicole Maines knew she was a girl around the age of 3 or 4.

“My case is kind of unique because I have a twin brother (Jonas),” she told Ellen Degeneres during an appearance on “Ellen” in 2018. “So, growing up with him, he was identifying with all these male things and feeling very comfortable in his body, and I wasn’t.”

Maines, the subject of this month’s One Book One Valley community read “Becoming Nicole,” slowing began publicly transitioning in the first grade, and officially presented herself as female in the fifth grade, when she changed her name from Wyatt to Nicole.

Nicole Maines stars as Nia Nal/Dreamer, television's first transgender superhero, in The CW's "Supergirl." Season five premieres Sunday, Oct. 6. 

Fall has Fallen

FINALLY! A break from the record hot streak we have seen around here in late September and early October. Today is supposed to be over twenty two degrees cooler than yesterday. Fashion wise, it will help me decide what I am wearing to our latest paranormal ghost hunt tonight,  With the new chillier temperatures and with spending all night in a very old mansion, I have decided to wear a long sleeved t-shirt Liz bought me out in Colorado while we were on vacation. I will pair the t-shirt with my distressed black jeans. My goal is not to scare the spirits and blend in with what the other cis women in the group will be wearing.

As far as footwear is concerned, I am declaring this to be the last day for my walking boot. So, just in case I end up walking a long way tonight, I will have the boot to help me. I have not experienced any discomfort in a while and can't get anyone at the VA to give me an answer. So it's gone tomorrow unless I get a call today.

The ghost hunt tonight will preclude Liz and I going to the monthly cross dresser-transgender social tonight.

But I have been attending the planning meetings for this years' Transgender Day of Remembrance. It's tough on me because I am still so new to the Cincinnati metro area and have very little knowledge of the resources available. What I am trying to do is line-up several transgender speakers of color. So far I have been able to come up with a maybe from two. Overall it's going to be a quality somber event and we want to feature the fact the greatest percentage of tragic transgender murders take place against persons of color.

The event will take place this year on November 20th. To make a long story short, I am proud to provide whatever assistance I can.