As Promised!

VA

We all have ID's and increasingly so as Big Brother or Sister continues to look over our shoulders, and the way the world is becoming these days, it may not be all in all a bad deal. Plus, looking ahead, as the world continues to be increasingly interconnected, bar coded identification cards are the rule. At least here in Ohio, your drivers license is coded in so when and if you get pulled over by a cop, they get a head start. Also, now when I go to the Veteran's Administration, I need to scan my ID card at a kiosk, which is why it was a such a huge deal to get my name and gender changed over.

Who Dat?

I told you all I would show you (the best I could) all my non pertinent info on my new ID's  and for a little fun, I thought I would toss in the "before" picture of me which has been "hidden" on the blog for a while!

Sorry about the "camouflage" but you get the idea of why I repeated first grade so many times!

More I.D's Arrive

My Veterans Administration all feminine identification card arrived today-to be sure, another milestone.

How much of one? I promise to show you in the next Cyrsti's Condo post.

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Ker Plunk! Another Sunday edition is hitting your virtual front porch! The weather today is typical Ohio-nice today-Artic cold wave Monday. Either way, it's time to grab a cup o joe (coffee) and let's get going!
Page One-The Week that Was or Wasn't: In a 'deja vu ' moment yesterday, a week after the infamous non coffee date with a local crossdresser/trans woman. As I have said and not meaning to offend, (I don't know how she labels herself. )
At any rate yesterday, as Liz and I were doing some grocery shopping in the morning, a rather tallish slim middle aged woman passed us-or did she? Immediately my cross dresser senses went off because she was wearing heels and hose...extremely uncommon in that store where women are most likely to be wearing their jeans, yoga or workout pants on the way home.
But Liz didn't say anything so I didn't either, until the person came towards us again in another aisle and spoke a shy hello (which of course we returned) at that point Liz said she was a "no doubter" family member. (CD/T.) I briefly did wonder if that was the person I was supposed to meet the week before, but I don't think so. As of yet I have not figured out a way to introduce myself without really doing it to a person I suspect is of our faith.
Page Two-Yesterdays' Coffee-Opinion:  You may remember this story from mid December (sent in from Bobby): "Jackie Ryan was in high school when she first got involved in politics.

During a school board discussion in her small town of Sturbridge, Massachusetts, Jackie heard one of her representatives call transgender students—like her—a threat to their peers.

“I immediately sent him an email," she says, "and told him that what he was saying was completely untrue.”

When the representative ignored Jackie’s email, she decided to run for a seat on the school board."

Well, Jackie won! And, Connie commented (on Cyrsti's Condo) : "Meanwhile, so many consider the running of their pantyhose of the utmost importance." (can't figure that one out yet Connie.)

I say, good for her, but I do notice that she must have been running as "Jacob" instead of "Jackie". Anyway, she put herself in a position to show that a transgender person is not a threat to her (or his) peers as much as someone else may cause more damage to young people with an attitude that the ap'peer'ance of a trans person is threatening to their own sensibilities. Jackie was wrong on one account, though, as her campaign goes much further than the Tantasquah school district."

Well, we recently heard from Jackie: "Thank you so much for posting this! The comment above was right, I did have to run under my legal name however I ran openly trans* and talked about the issues and my community believed in me. Thanks :)

No, THANK YOU Jackie!!!! As Connie said, in so many ways you represent the future most of us never had.

Page Three- Carla Lewis: I am partial to Carla Lewis  First, she is a transgender veteran (as I am) and one of substance. In other words, (Connie) she does't consider the running of her pantyhose her utmost importance. Rather here are here recent thoughts off of Facebook:

Carla Lewis

I feel sorry for myself a lot...and I shouldn't. I'm employed. I do okay. I have awesome kids and cool little grandchildren. I have an amazing wife.

Could life be better? Absolutely!

However, on occasion I will catch my reflection in the mirror during a moment of profound clarity and I'll remember that all those years growing up as Justin, I never imagined I would grow into the woman I am. Oh, I hoped for it, prayed for it, and dreamed of it, but that voice inside my head always told me it was a fantasy that could never happen.
...but I did it!
I'm finally the person that I was meant to be for all those years! I carry all my flaws and past tragedies as badges of honor. I got to be the person I am supposed to be. I really did do it!"



Thank you Carla!!!!

Page Four-The Back Page: Since it's Super Sunday, good weather and several other places to be including a writers group, it's time to go! Before I do, here is my prediction; although I would like to see Manning go out a winner-I don't think he will!!!
In the meantime, thanks for stopping by Cyrsti's Condo-it means a lot!!!

Listen Closely?

One thing I don't think I have ever talked about here in Cyrsti's Condo is voice training. 

It's probably the next wall I have to hit and go over...and I am afraid to do it.

Why? Even though my friends and family tell me I'm fine the way I am, I am fairly sure they are being nice...and I know they are being nice when anyone talks to me on the phone.

My solution is, since I don't have the budget for voice training lessons is-an inexpensive voice recorder I can use when I drive the four hour round trip back and forth to the VA. To hell with the music on the radio...I want to hear me!

Seriously, I think I can improve on the ideas I have to improve my voice.

We Got Mail!

OK Kids, here we go...Pat, I hope you feel better!!!! Feeling as bad as you do can't be any fun at Connie's age.

Speaking of Connie, no I had no intention of even intimating how you dressed attracted whomever. It's just we have discussed several times over our past about finding ourselves around a group of embarrassing cross dressers out for a night on the town. I was referencing that somewhat. 

****Disclaimer time--being trans (or a cross dresser) does not give you a hall pass for being an idiot. Ask me, I have put myself in the wrong place at the wrong time (wearing the wrong outfit) and barely making my escape in my high heels. I think I have done everything wrong in the book at least once-except trying to glue silicone breast forms on my chest with silicone bathroom caulk from the hardware store-or trashing a women's room in a gay venue. (There were plenty of lesbians not too happy.) 

Paula

Paula!!!! Don't you think I would dearly love to have coffee with you in London! The problem is with my budget I would end up in London, Ohio (about 50 miles)

Connie, I do understand you may have one or two "coffee stands" in Seattle. Again I wish I had the cash to fly out and sample your fave "barista".

After all of that, I do appreciate all of your feedbacks. Sometime it's a lonely world here on this key board!

I will stand by my original theory though that the person who was going to meet me for coffee had a rarity-my phone number and she could have backed out easily at any time. That's the only reason I was aggravated. The last thing I would been was mad...as it was my dogs loved the extra walk they got. And, I would not cared if she said she would be meeting me "in drab."

I guess I'm not as mean as write!  

Cyrsti's Condo "From the Hart"

Add caption

"I know rules are necessary-just not necessarily for me!" 
Cyrsti Hart 

Hiding in Plain Sight?

I am usually really happy when I can touch a raw nerve of sorts with many of you. The Disappearing CrossDresser was one. 

One of the most intriguing (since I had never heard of it was) this from Calie:" I co-host a monthly lunch called the DRAB-Gab. Obviously, everyone dressed in male attire. This is an event sponsored by our local TG organization, which may just be the largest in the world...about 700 strong I believe, here in the center of the T-universe. 

Many of our monthly attendees are first-timers, having never met another one of "our kind". One common thread we have found over the years is that there's a 50/50 chance that a "newbie" who RSVP's won't show up. Why? Because they're absolutely scared to death of being outed, or afraid that we're a bunch of pervs, or whatever. 

I think your friend(?) had cold feet and is now absolutely embarrassed. She probably drove around the block several times...maybe even walked up to the coffee shop. At that point, she freaked out, turned around, and never looked back. That seems to be a common story that those who have RSVP'd for a second time, and did show up, have told us."

May I say, that's a significant membership and yes cross dressers as well as the rest of the LGBT family are invisible everywhere.  And, did I miss exactly where the center of the T-universe is? Seriously, not being a smart arse!

The point I missed in my oft weak written communication is, I really don't put a value judgement where another person may-or may not be in their transition. I have always said though, my indecision tore me apart from within-to the point of a suicide attempt.

I also understand as well as any of you the sheer terror of heading out of the closet at all. In fact, I just met a trans woman from a little town about fifty miles south of Cincinnati who was just outed on FB. She was petrified. It's a confusing deal, because 'the Nati' is gaining on Columbus in pursuit of LGBT rights and Covington, Kentucky right across the river just added one female and one male police peeps specifically trained to deal with us.

 

So, I can understand why a closet is a safe place. The only thing I have ever advocated for is...hedge your bets because life can change and all of the sudden your closet door could open. And, if it does, you can protect yourself as much as possible by places such as the voting box. It's a fact in O.H.I.O you have to look under many rocks to find a Republican representative who is pro LGBT rights. It just is true. (After all, the 'Q' in LGBTQ is for 'questioning.'

There were a couple other comments on the post I want to get back to later today. It's time for another trip to the V.A  to have my fluids checked!

  

The Saving Grace

If you are a transgender person of either gender, this will be all too familiar. If not please take the time to read it closely because it covers the whole LGBT family and beyond. It's called

BEFORE YOU TAKE YOUR LIFE: 5 THINGS EVERY LGBTQ PERSON NEEDS TO KNOW BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE written by Chris Katzner.

Here is the first paragraph: Your life. It feels like there is no hope, trapped in a well of darkness, no way out. You pray to make it all go away, if only tomorrow never dawned. The constant ping of pain ricocheting within your soul, torturing your every breath. It’s all you can do, to put one knee in front of the other, crawling down this path of living hell.

Go here for the rest.

The Disappearing CrossDresser?

Saturday I was supposed to meet another of the 'family' for lunch. To be fair, I don't how she identifies; crossdresser, transgender, or "gurl". We were to meet in a very well known coffee and sandwich shop (not called Starbucks)  but for whatever reason, coffee with her never happened.

Since I had arranged my day to meet her, yes I was more disturbed than I normally am. If you are backing off-tell me. Won't be the first time. Saturday's deal is not the point of this post though.

I began to wonder how many under the LGBT - CD umbrella over the years I have met (even if on Facebook or comments to Cyrsti's Condo) who have faded away. Or abruptly disappeared. 

Of course I have several ideas like:

1. Ill health or death
2. The wife or family found out
3. They grew tired of the fantasy of being the second coming of Marilyn Monroe
4. The sheer amount of work to make a transition got to be too much
5. Financial resources

I could probably go on, but you get the point. Plus, I need to say I only really know in person a couple trans people-one woman-one man. Then, here on line, I can claim several more like Connie, Shelle, and Stana (who I have met once) and Paula. Then, there are the transgender veterans like Carla Lewis who I share an extra bit of history. (Shelle again too.)

I guess I should look at the point of this blog as a positive influence on potential LGBTQ family members. If I can shed any light on the process, my work is complete. 

Just one thing, if you want to meet me for coffee-don't stand me up-please.