Love MUST Win!

Last night was my speaking engagement in Burlington, Kentucky for a group called "Love Must Win!"  I was told it went well-even to the point of a couple in the group used the "I" word with me - inspirational.

Truthfully, while I was deeply humbled and flattered, "inspirational" goes right with "bravery" in my book as words I find hard to accept. I have seen and known many "first responders" and military members who are truly brave. I have just done what I needed to survive-before it was too late for me. 

Personally, I was inspired by so many others last night telling their stories. For the most part, 20 something gay guys telling brutal stories of growing up in very un-understanding families. These were the people who opened their group and invited myself and another transgender woman to talk about our pasts.

Sarah, the other trans woman, also survived a brutal past.

For my part, I am a survivor because of age. I told them all, I am living proof the light at the end of the tunnel is not the train. You may not get by unscathed but get by you can. Sure, I tried to oft myself actively and passively but Hey! look, I'm still here.

Until I heard from all the others though, I didn't realize how totally I would be speaking to the choir. After I heard their stories, it is no wonder so many LGBT youth try suicide as the only way out.

Love just has to win-what would John Lennon say?

Transgender Veteran Care

I try to pride myself in passing out praise as much as I am negative. Which I have to admit has been tough lately...but infinitely doable. Especially yesterday at my latest Veterans Administration appointment. 

I'm up now to giving regular blood labs first and then going over to hematology to give a pint. Hopefully if this works, I will only be scheduled for two to four more.

The reason I am writing this post is, I simply can't believe how nice they all are to me. I was greeted as "Ms" Hart and pronouned correctly all the way.

Hopefully, they all are just treating me so well because I trans-not because of my illness!!!!

Whatever the reason, I plan on carrying the theme on through into my speaking engagement tonight.

The bottom line is, the world does not have to accept or understand us any further than knowing we didn't have a choice with any of this- Transgender, gay, lesbian or whatever.

What we do have a choice in though, is how the world treats us.  Kristin Beck said it again yesterday: (I paraphrase) If we (trans women and men) aren't trying to kill ourselves-we are trying to do it ourselves in record numbers. Tragic.

Ending this post on a positive note, I am fairly sure no one from the Dayton, Ohio VA hospital reads Cyrsti's Condo-but if you do-THANKS!!!

Dr. Phil - Meet Kristin Beck

Liz is a bigger Dr. Phil fan than I am. So, I cringed when she couldn't wait to tell me the "Philster" was actually going to tackle a transgender topic today.


More precisely, the show was about a former trans military cop who was cutting a wide swath through her family as she transitioned. Her step Dad at the beginning of the show was so upset he was shaking and I was afraid he was going to hyper-ventilate. Her wife? Seemingly without much warning, the transgender woman said she now liked men and wanted out.


No surprises right? Dr. Phil is going to rush in and tell the newly minted trans woman to stop or at least slow down. 

Wrong...spoiler alert...former Navy Seal Kristin Beck was called in. (Transgender herself) -To add perspective and perspective she did. Her main point with Step Dad was being transgender is not a choice and Dr. Phil backed Kristin 110 %! Kristin also told the trans woman to "slow down" with her transgender "puberty" and don't destroy all of those who love her.


Dr.Phil did a wonderful job of asking Step Dad if he could even consider a person could be "hardwired" into a non birth gender. After miss pronouning Kristin to the point of calling her an "it", Phil finally made it through-with a final warning-never call a Navy Seal an it!!! He could get kicked over the building.

Liz made me swear I would not tell any of you how impressed I was with this show...to the point of tears.

So I won't. Except to say follow the link above to find it!

What REALLY Matters

Recently I read a post from Paula Goodwin. She was writing about how she feels a certain strong "bonding and friendship" with a few peeps on the web. Even though she has never met.

I feel the same way for a couple reasons.  One of which is those you who I share an almost an unreal transgender bond. The second is a how much empathetic feedback I get on certain items-which makes the small stuff-well, the small stuff.

These comments came from Connie and Shelle on the Cyrsti's Condo post "It Seems Kind of Cruel."

First Connie: "Cyrsti, So sorry. I was praying that you wouldn't have to take this step, and that they'd be able to get your condition under control by other means. Of course, I want you to get better, but maybe they'll discover that the estrogen was not a contributor after a few months. And maybe, as Liz alluded to, you will find that the hormones were far less important to your transition than you might have thought. At least you've had four years to develop your softer side, and I'd be disappointed only if you should return to the cynical asshole I knew you to be before. :-) I will continue to pray for you."

Thanks Connie! I can use all the prayers you send my way and Liz said it was her-not HRT that brought out the softer side :)

Next Shelle: "Dearest Cyrsti
I'm so sorry to hear about your,having to go off your HRT,It's very hard for anyone who has never experienced the real help,hormone therapy makes for ,I'm certain you will miss it.
Can you at least continue with the androgen blocker?
Anyway my thoughts will be with you going forward.
Hugzz Shell"

Shell, I can continue with my androgen blockers thanks.

One thing for sure, you two helped me to understand what really matters out here in our little transgender woman tribe! Your comments meant a lot!

Luv ya both :)

It's Time Trans Peeps!

U.S. Trans Survey (Closes 9/21) ***From helenboyd If you haven't yet taken NCTE's current trans survey, get to it! It will close on Monday, 9/21, & it's important they hear all your voices. By *all*, I mean especially those who tend not to do online surveys or who are otherwise often cut out by mainstream trans representation: those who have stayed married crossdressers who identify as trans* genderqueer individuals older trans people trans people of color Please, folks, this is your chance to get counted. If you tried before and it didn't work, do try again: they've got a fitter system in place.

Seems Kind of Cruel

I knew it was coming, as sure Fall is in the air around here on the Ohio River-yesterday my endocrinologist said "Get off the estrogen Cyrtsi." It's quite possible he said that it is a major contributor to what is ailing me.

I was semi proud of myself and kept my composure long enough to ask him was he sure and was it a permanent move. He was nice enough to say we are going to try it for three months and see what happens. I am pretty sure he knew not to try to B.S a Bullshitter and we both knew HRT was always going to be a risk at my age anyhow. So, I seriously doubt anymore estrogen will be in my future.

Enter Liz at this point: I was sad to the point of tears (damn hormones!) But, she pointed out if I really wanted to give all the credit for my MtF gender transition to drugs-maybe I was really shortchanging myself. As you may or may not remember, we have been together from day #1 about four years ago when I started HRT.

So, here I sit, rightly or wrongly beginning to rebuild again upon a couple facets of my life I enjoyed. Seems sort of cruel that I used to enjoy a fine Cincinnati craft beer and I used to enjoy the effects of estrogen on my body-and the Doc's took them both away. Then again, I will enjoy a good cup of coffee even more now and savor the healing effects my body will be now going through. Which in fact I already am.

Somehow I was allowed to burn my fuse at both ends for as long as I could. Now it's time to "trans up" and face the future. Not to worry!

Have You Heard?

During my seemingly endless search for extra information on the transgender scene, I ran into this following a link I have with the Dayton (Ohio) LGBT Center :

Current Locations:

• Dayton, OH
• Phoenix, AZ
• Nashville, TN

Contact us know if you want to see us in YOUR City!!!

The mission of the Gatlyn Dame Group is to raise awareness, provide education, and an outlet for Transgender, Non-Conforming Gender Identity Persons, and their Allies.

We are a non-profit organization that raises awareness, and provides education, support, and outlets for Transgender Persons and Non-Conforming Gender Identity Persons, and their allies. 

The purpose of this organization is to fulfill the mission stated by offering several different platforms to express their identity including the various art forms and educational support groups throughout the United States.

On of our ultimate goals is to have the different outlets and support groups available in every state.  We already have a vast amount of interest in several states.  We are already working on Chapters in Ohio, Tennessee, and Arizona. 

We are hoping to achieve a national "Hotline" for transgender, non-conforming gender identity persons, and their allies within the next six months. We will also hold four (4) National Events throughout the country every year.  The National Events will consist of several educational conferences along with different outlets that can express themselves through art and music, along with gaining a real sense of support, family, and comradery.

GatlynDameGroup@gmail.com

Board Members:

Devin Dame

Gage Gatlyn

Randy Phillips

Gunner Gatlyn

Jordan Allen

Allison Cox

What's in a Age?

Perhaps you Cyrsti's Condo regulars have noticed I have been thinking a bit too much about age recently. Some of it has to do with my first real serious illness of my life, turning 66 and my speaking engagement Friday night.

knowing for sure (I'm sure the organizers don't either)-I'm guessing the group will be a relatively youthful LGBTQ blend. With a liberal mix of "allies."

Fortunately for them, they have not allotted any of us much time to be "talking heads" and bore everyone to sleep. On the other hand, my challenge is to make my time more clear and impactful.

My game plan is pretty clear. If nothing else, I am a gender survivor. The younger members of the group will most certainly be able to see that. So, a quick mention should do and lets keep moving. I identify "she and her" as a MtF transgender woman who happens to be a trans vet.

My next priority will be to keep them engaged past the first few minutes - when many speakers dissolve into "white noise". In other words, how much of what I am saying means anything to them.  That's tough because I think the allies and parents in the group may be more apt to listen-longer.

Finally, the organization hosting the evening : Love Must Win pretty much sums up my part of the evening with it's name. For no particular divine reason I have been "allowed" to hang around in this world to see too many amazing changes to even count-including those attached to human gender. 

The toughest thing to tell anyone (for me) is to be patient. A HUGE cop out. On the other hand, the only constant is change. Plus, the platforms for positive LGBTQ change continue to progress. (Ask Kim Davis.)

We all need to embrace our trans youth with love. I just hope I can help a bit Friday!!!!

Youth Will Inherent the World-Thank Goodness!!

As I head all too quickly towards the double sixes" (66 years old), I watch increasingly with interest what the younger transgender generation is up to. Recently, I ran across this look from Newsweek about the relationship between a young transgender man (coming out) to his lesbian girl friend. 

Freddie Bologno, right, and his girlfriend Tile Wolfe

(Trans man)Freddie Bologno, 27, works at Do Something, a digital organization that helps young people push for social change through social media and text messaging. For Bologno, the text was a way to both come out publicly and start a conversation about being young and transgender. But before coming out to the world, Bologno had to talk to his girlfriend, Tile Wolfe. “I just started crying,” says Wolfe, remembering the moment Bologno said he wanted to start taking hormones to transition from female to male. “Not because I was sad, but because this was suddenly so real.”

Even though I know enough about social media to be semi dangerous, the idea Freddie could text this to 2.4 million people still staggers me.

Bologno continued: “I’ve texted for DoSomething as Alysha for 3yrs, but I’ve been struggling. I'm trans, I'm Freddie!” In many ways he could be speaking for so many of us, in or out of the closet - we are transgender on so many levels  and are NOT going away.