Cyrsti's Condo "What If?"

I KNEW I should have checked the oil in this car BEFORE I got all dressed up to meet my wife and her friends tonight at the bar!

Not So Long Ago...

As I look ahead at the TGLBQ Pride events coming up-it's also time to look back at a time which some of us still remember...when cross dressing was against the law.  Check the picture on the left of a cross dresser being arrested in New York City.

Just last summer a closeted cross dresser asked me if he just went to a gay venue in nearby downtown Dayton, Ohio was he in danger of being arrested for simply dressing like a woman.

Told him I could not say for sure if any law like that was still on the books but if it was-it had never been enforced with me.

Don't I Know You?

This is finally the blog post I promised all of you here in Cyrsti's Condo about my surprise meeting Saturday with an old friend I hadn't seen for awhile.  It's a classic cross dressing story with a transgender finish.

To briefly catch all of you up, my grand daughter's bat mitzfah was Saturday and for a couple of reasons I decided to cross dress as a guy. Over 100 people attended including a small contingent of my brothers family.  I am in one of those places with them where they know-but they don't- I'm trans.   

My partner Liz and I were sitting under a big tree with them eating after the ceremony when a 20 something woman drifts by and gets every adult person's attention.  My 12 year old  grand daughter had declared the "dress code" for the day to be "island chic" and this woman had no problems with the concept.  All she wore basically, was a matching halter top, Capri pants-and her tattoos.  You know how it works, the genetic women were staring her down for a totally different reason than the men. Then, there was Liz and I.  Liz is a lesbian, artist and has a few "tats" of her own.  She had her own reasons of "acting" like she wasn't looking. Of course I just wanted to look like her.

As I did take a closer look though, she was looking back at me and a split second later, she stopped quickly and came over to Liz and I.  Of all people, I have known her for nearly five years now and she is the one who introduced me to her lesbian Mom, who I am still good friends with.  The classic part of the chance meeting was she had only ever met my old male self years ago once.   Even back then I hated for that to happen. I presented as only feminine to my new group of friends and since I had not transitioned yet, male to my old world.

Saturday, I said her name and she was good-real good-she stayed with my male pronouns and began to use my male name-when I told it to her. Needless to say, Liz, myself and the woman were in a little shock (for the obvious) but also, my family was wondering how I knew this exotic woman at all?

The meeting made for a classic gender comedy, as a little later we all got out of ear shot of my family and were able to talk.  After a while, my daughter was able to join in. She had only met her once.  The three of us had quite the chat about the irony of the afternoon and how two of them were able to very admirably mis-pronoun me as "he" when I wanted them to.  To put a little icing on the cake, as we were having the chat just outside of the restroom complex in the park we were in, a guy came out of the men's room and said he was sorry he had to interrupt our "women talk." The whole conversation I think was good for my daughter who of course knows of my feminine life but had never had the chance to connect any dots.

If you want to talk about a day which completely reminded of the MtF gender transition path  I have taken- Saturday was it.

Oh, by the way, the woman's Mom is the one who took me along to a NFL Monday Night Football game and she has never seen me cross dressed as a guy.  Which is the way I plan to keep it.

Playing with Transgender "House Money?"

One of the sweeping generalizations I made here in Cyrsti's Condo, after the Trans Ohio Symposium was how the differing groups acted. Two were pretty much "playing with house money" and one wasn't.

Very simply, the trans men and transgender women of color seemed to be enjoying themselves more-and were more social. You can guess how the white transgender women were acting - if you know many or have interacted with them on line.

Laverne Cox

I have my theories (of course).

The most obvious was put into words the other night by my transgender man friend Draco. From nature or nurturing, little girls aren't put into the rigid boxes boys are and do get to experience the world on more levels. Plus most trans guys do transition on the outside easier than trans women. As correct as Draco was,  I still didn't understand why so many of the other FtM's attending were so grumpy-except the ones of color.

Of course writing about race is a very sensitive topic in this country.  So, the only thing I'm going to say about the trans women of color attending were- they out and social. They have serious reason's to be. One of the reasons is a great majority of the violence directed towards the transgender community is directed against women of color. I can't and won't even try to speak to how the culture of color feels about the number of sex trade workers and drug abusers.  What I wish I could do is direct you where you could read a poem read by a young trans man of color before Kye Allums spoke. Their group deserved a spot in the sun at the symposium and do benefit from transgender role models such as Laverne Cox (above) and Janet Mock.

Although I can safely say I was one of the most affable white transgender women there- I'm sad to say I don't know or can name any others I would call a trans activist.  I certainly hope I'm missing the forest for the trees.

Finally,  I'm positive the only money I do have- is house money.  I just have to enjoy and spend it wisely!

Cyrsti's Condo "Up" Power Scope!

Two weeks in a row the stars have aligned and they have given me a "power" scope I can embrace-even love!

Libra.-  (September 23-October 22): You’re legitimately at a crossroads. You know something in your routine has to change, but you don’t know what. The only thing you do know is that it has to happen, with no clue as to when or how. Thankfully, there will be a call to action that will have you seeing you can still learn lots of new tricks and that new chapters have yet to unfold.

New tricks? New chapters!!!! Yaya!!!

Head here to get your "scope" from theFrisky!

Where's that Damn Potty?

As we all know, no matter how far you are in the closet - or not- we are all in a battle to be pushed back into our closets and having the door slammed on us.

The more of us who speak up and out when ever we can (even in your own small way) helps our cause-no matter if you identify cross dresser, transgender or whatever.

Those of you who do navigate the world femininely, know first hand the trepidation of the simple matter of using the rest room.  Sure it's simple to say, the more you do it the easier it becomes but that is just not true. It only takes one redneck woman to spot you and scream bloody murder and get you in more trouble than you bargained for.  Then we are stuck.  How incredibly ignorant to call us perverts and think it is some sort of walk in the park to constantly worry about what restroom we are going to use?  Plus what about those who seriously think we should use the men's room-really?

Taking the subject one step further, when my partner Liz and I were at The Ohio State Student Union a couple weeks ago, the building does have gender neutral restrooms. After one of the sessions, Liz and I headed for the potty and I followed her right into the women's room (as I always do) and we proceeded to chat about the last workshop as we were peeing in adjacent stalls.  Even there-even in a transgender conference, a genetic woman who is married to a trans man was glaring at me through the mirror.  So we have a long way to go.

This morning I read a well thought out and written post on the same subject from Janie Black.  I have followed her blog for a number of years now and this could be one of her best posts I have read.

Be sure to follow the link above to check it out!

"J-Lo" on the Down Low?

She is probably wondering by now what she doesn't have after her "man" was seen with yet another exotic sexy transgender woman Xristina Marie. I thought it was interesting everyone was asking what was wrong with him when I was wondering what was wrong with her?

Cross Dressing in Japan

It's been awhile, ad-mist all the introspection we have gone through here in Cyrsti's Condo.  We haven't had time to rummage through the closet and find a pair of comfortable traveling shoes and head to Japan.

This post comes from Rocket News 24 :

"Crossdressing and genderbending are not only long-time staples of Japanese anime and manga, but also of TV and celebrity culture. From this, anyone would think that Japan was one of the most open and accepting countries when it comes to people who don’t fit into traditional gender roles or relationships. However, the reality outside of media and entertainment is often quite different. Family and work life are both still clearly divided down gender lines, and men who engage in anything that blurs or crosses these lines are generally shunned. But could the girl who dumps a guy just because he turns up to a date in a dress be the one who’s really missing out?

Terms such as transgendered and transvestite have loaded meanings in English that don’t always correlate with Japanese views, so in this case we’ll be using the Japanese term ‘otoko no ko‘. The terms otoko no ko and josoushi are used  to describe a man who dresses like, and sometimes also lives like, a woman. Otoko no ko has the same reading as the word for ‘boy’ (男の子), but in this case the final kanji character is replaced with the one for ‘daughter’ (男の娘), which changes the meaning.

According to Naoko Tachibana, the otoko no ko boom began around 2009 and continues to grow with the launch of makeup magazines and salons catering specifically to them. It’s certainly true that companies have been scrambling to get their fingers in the pie of this niche market with all kinds of unnecessary products.

This post is a very interesting look at the cross dressing culture of Japan and you can read more by following the "Rocket 24" link above!

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

"Ker Plunk!" after missing last week's issue, the presses are rolling with another Sunday Edition!

Page 1.- Old Friends-New Faces.  Yesterday was simply wonderful for a couple reasons-including meeting a couple old friends I hadn't seen for a minute!  One was a transgender man friend of mine.  First of all, I think it's not as easy to judge the progress of one's HRT transition if you see them all the time.  I hadn't seen Draco in a while and the changes are amazing.  He has lost weight, his face is becoming more angular (with facial hair) and his voice is changing-just to name a few of the changes.  Wow! He looks good and happy.

Another chance meeting yesterday was totally different.  I have been writing off and on for the last couple days about going to my grand daughters Bat Mitzfah and the hows and whys of doing it as a guy.  Quickly, I was told I could come as I pleased at my daughter's and grand daughter's request.  Since it was her day, I chose male.  The day was a beauty for a June, Ohio summer day.  blue skies, light breezes and low heat/humidity. Doesn't get much better than that for June around here. I am not Jewish myself and had never attended a Bat Mitzfah and it was different than I expected. I was pleasantly surprised.  After it was over, we all had a chance to eat and visit.  Not long into the afternoon, my partner Liz and I noticed an attractive 20 something woman walking around showing more skin, tattoos and piercings than clothes.  After a second, we locked eyes because we knew each other-kind of.  Over five years ago, she had met a pre HRT male version of me and after that became one of the individuals who was instrumental in accepting me and helping me into a new group of friends. Bottom line was after yesterday she had only met my old in the closet male self twice-ever. Normally, I dearly hate for that to happen but, the experience was crazy fun and deserves it's own post which we will do in the Condo later.  It's a classic story of switching gender names and pronouns-in a split second.

Paula, I simply take my hair and pull it back into a pony tail and either just wear it that way or with a baseball hat - with the hair sticking out the hole in the back.

Page 2.- The Week in Review.  Such a week it was in the comment department around the Condo! We stayed the night with Pat's wife and messed up the why's and hows of going to L.A. with Jen and Mandy.  I encourage those of you who are interested to go back to the posts Nothing to Wear, Owning It and A Night with Paula's Wife to follow the comments. Most of which, were bittersweet in how they were presented by three women who are trying (or thinking seriously of) doing a little more exploration of how their chosen gender could present in the world.

And, yes Pat it is a little scary how many of our lives were so similar, even though we have never met to this day.  The similarities also cross international borders, as I have found with readers such as Paula and Vicki in the UK-among others.  The more we learn about ourselves, no matter if we identify as cross dressers or transgender women and men- the more we come to understand who are the true "gate keepers" of our existence.

Page 3.- Stilettos on Thin Ice.  As you all know by now and if you read a little of my Backward's Both Ways post.  My first book has been e-published and among other places you can get it on Amazon which you can click on the link in the upper right hand corner of the blog.  If you want to check it out, if you can, I recommend Amazon over Barnes and Noble because for some reason I'm not good enough to figure out-it published better, with fewer mistakes.  If life slows down to a slow roar any time soon, I'm going to feature a little from the book (ala Dr. Phil) who is the most shameless huckster of his (and family's) products ever!  

FYI: The hand beaded hair barrette above, is  compliments of Liz T Designs

Again, if you read the "Backwards" post you will understand how special it was for me to do it at all! Paula said it best in this comment: " So, have you heard about the dyslexic insomniac agnostic? They would lay awake at night wondering if there is a Dog" Now I know why I can't sleep!

Page 4.-The Back Page.  As you can tell from this edition, Momma Karma is still rocking my world with pure good vibes and I love her for it.  Even though I truly have become a little "winded". Perhaps Mandy said it best with this comment:
  

"We (collectively) always figure it out in the end, so a little confusion adds color to the discussion!"

Thanks to all for spending another week with me here in the Condo!  I hope we can keep "meeting like this!"