Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

"If you can't see it-you aren't there."

Cyrsti Hart

The Power of an Umbrella

I should have waited a couple of days and tied this Cyrsti's Condo post into "April Showers" but I always have had a hard time waiting. Plus who knows what the world be like in a a couple days?

Today was one of those rainy windy "Spring" days in my part of Ohio-not a good "hair" day.  We had errands to run and as we rushed from car to store, I understood yet again the power of an umbrella to a woman. But, did I carry one ?  Do I even own one? No!

I may soon.

It's bad enough when I think I have my hair seemingly looking it's best until five minutes later in the wind-all is lost. All is even more lost though when moisture is involved.  My hair takes on a life of it's own and of course the wetter it gets-the worse it gets.

I know. No one is twisting my arm to have all this hair but all those years, someone did twist my arm to cut it.  So, we are more than even.  In the meantime, I am learning the nuances of simply not taking your hair off and being able to see and style it from all angles.  The problem is I'm an uncoordinated dork and even a simple process of holding a mirror so I can see the back of my head (and brush it) in another mirror becomes quite the process. The back of my head is like the dark side of the moon.  You know it just has to be there but what's it looking like these days?  Truly, the whole process is just another of the tons of transition minutia which I tie into "muscle memory" Larger examples include posture and walk which are essential to a feminine deportment.

My problem is my brain is similar to a low power overloaded computer and any memory is called into use could be a problem. My goal  now is to just stretch the system a little more and remember to buy an umbrella.

Some Hide Better than Others

It's no secret transgender veterans occupy a much larger percentage of world wide military's than anyone has been able to measure.

After all, for the MtF trans person, the military is one of the great places to prove how macho you really aren't.  Finally, as in other segments of society, transgender veterans from the most macho areas of the military are coming forward-and out. The primary example from this country is former Navy Seal Kristin Beck.

Now, there is a documentary being shown in Australia called Sex Change Soldier.  It's the story of  Ian - now Jan - Hamilton.(left)  Hamilton was an officer in the British elite parachute regiment, serving in Northern Ireland, the first Gulf war, Bosnia, the Iraq war and Afghanistan. After suffering near fatal injuries in a bomb blast in Afghanistan, he decided that he wanted to live the rest of his life as a woman. “The only emotion I was able to show in the army was aggression, and I became quite good at that,” she says. “I hated myself, hated the world, and I hated being in the world ... I was volunteering to go back in operations simply because I thought I would die.”

Jan Hamilton makes several key points which hopefully educate the general population.  One was willingness to commit a form of suicide rather than accept her transgender leanings.

Another addressed the fading idea that any of us had a choice in any of this. Hamilton said:

"No sane person would do this,” she says of her upcoming facial reconstruction surgery in Thailand. “I would rather walk out of Basra palace with an unloaded rifle into the middle of a hostile crowd than put myself through this."

Go here for more.

Cyrsti's Condo "What If" Cover Girls

It's Saturday here in the Condo kids and time to lighten up a bit and pass along a couple "what if" pictures.  Here's my insight into what the genetic women with their cross dressed guys are thinking.
The first one:  "Ha ha! and he thinks this isn't going on my Facebook page!
The second:  "You know, I don't really mind him dressing like a slut, but those yellow heels???? Really????"

Leather Bikini's and Christmas Heels

Be warned kids, this Cyrsti's Condo post is coming from several different directions in my noggin.

First of all, most of you know I'm a regular visitor to Stana's Femulate blog. Thanks to January for sending in this comment:

Stana of "Femulate" fame reports that her desk has a photo of herself en femme. If anybody asked, it is simply a photo from a past Halloween, in the office. Very clever, that Stana.  I agree January, I think Stana is using the picture to get others at work around her "used" to the new person who could be there every day!

Most recently Stana asked the question :

When you’re out en femme, has another woman reacted negatively (or positively) because you looked better than her.   The question didn't resonate much with me for several different reasons except to make me consider why. (Primarily because it hasn't happened to me much or at all for years.) Plus, at this stage of my tranisition, I don't consider myself out en femme but bless all that do!

But, at the very same time I was thinking about all of this, I happened to see a show on outlaw biker gangs. The show interviewed one woman who said she was attracted (like so many others) to power and danger and there was no better place to experience it than on the back of a Harley motorcycle.(Not to mention the sexual charge my genetic women friends say they experience on a bike.) By then,  I'm thinking why is this intriguing me so? Finally, I connected the dots to long ago Tri-Ess cross dresser Christmas parties, which I had no desire to go to. Instead, I was admiring the long haired boots and bikini women riding on the back of bikes heading into the giant party at Sturgis. To hell with a party dress! I needed a new wig.

Here's the kick. As a guy, I owned  muscle cars and sports cars but never a motorcycle of any kind. Plus, personality wise, I was pretty much too nice to attract any of the bad girls. I always resented the women who felt that way- so where the hell did all this come from? Who knows?

To be sure, the chances are very dim I will be riding into Sturgis with my D breasts (Beginning with acquiring them!) in a leather bikini top any time soon on the back of a Harley. But that's OK, I will live. In the meantime, embracing and exploring all my contradictions can be fun because fighting them can be hell.

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

Our feature cover for Friday is Daniella Daniloff

Location, Location, Location

At the Trans Ohio Community regional meeting last week, there was one attendee I have given lots of thought to.  First of all she was late and all so shy and came with her sister. (Sister was not looking happy to be there.) As went we around the room, she did say she lived in one of the rural counties around Cincinnati and actually she was afraid to come to the meeting.

I for one was amazed because the meeting itself couldn't have been held in a safer place, with no loss of accepting people.  Later though, I began to perhaps understand why.  For the most part we all live in pockets of transgender acceptance or lack of acceptance.  I live around both. For example, Columbus, Ohio is an incredibly diverse and open TGLBQ city. Cincinnati so far just isn't and Dayton for the most part is. But you can go approximately 50 miles or so south of Columbus and hit some very unforgiving areas. The trans woman in question had to first get out of the house, past her neighbors and into "safe" territory.  It's no wonder she was scared.

Shelle, one of the regular visitors to Cyrsti's Condo can certainly speak to the issue of our rural trans sisters. She lives in conservative rural Indiana.  Unfortunately, many of the good old strong "folk" who built American values just haven't gotten real liberal lately and want to not extend those values to others. If you are in one of the rural areas, chances are you are even more alone as a transgender person and yes, you do stick out and no, it's not easy to just pick up and move from your home.

I'm not better than anyone else and have a tendency to think if I am able to make trips to places like TransOhio or even the bigger cities around me-why can't everyone else?  I know for a fact though,  other huge factors for many of our rural sisters are finances and transportation. I'm far from wealthy, but I'm lucky my old car and I are fairly mobile.

It's yet another problem which is easy to sweep under the TGLBQ rug.  Every once in while though, someone picks up the rug and takes a look.  Here is an example called Transphobia in a Small Town. It's worth a look at how "the other side" lives. Especially if you live in a more liberal urban area.




here

Would You-If you Could?

The past couple of days, I've been as sick as a kitty who ate a rotten mouse, so I've refrained from doing anything much on line as I have a tendency to become rather "snarky" with the world.

Today though, I did get bored enough that I climbed out of my death bed and to my computer...priorities-right? Who says blogging doesn't become a lifestyle?

Makeover Example

This morning by accident I ran across one of the many quality MtF cross dresser makeover services.  This one just happened to be across the pond in the UK and is called The Makeover Room .  Over the years, I've known several individuals who have taken advantage of similar services. Depending on your reason's for going, the results can be fabulous

My example from several years ago, had nothing to do with me but involved a couple other cross dressers I know.  One of them went to a makeover specialist and ended up with a positively knock out set of pictures. So good as a matter of fact, the other CD ended up putting up one of the pictures on his gym locker where he played tennis and golf.  No one ever knew and in fact wondered if the "woman" in the picture was his mistress.  I certainly can't document it, but I just have to believe that somewhere/sometime there has been a guy who has put a picture of his "sister" up in his office somewhere- who of course was him.

As with so many of the other layers of the cross dressing community, from simply wearing panties at work, to shopping at the mall-the culture of makeover pictures fascinate me.  On one hand I wonder if becoming the "feminine person in the picture" becomes a priority until one just decides to be her. Or, is the person in the picture good enough?  Not unlike the first time participant in a womanless beauty pageant who happens to look great.  Does he want to go back to the well for another drink?

As a point of reference, the cross dresser I knew with the "hot" pictures never had the where withal or desire to live as a woman at all. He would have a tough time presenting as a woman in public. Instead, for the longest time, he had a very active Flickr account (and always looked sexy) until recently he disappeared.  I just think all the different aspects of how gender plays in our minds is just fascinating.  Including one person I know who corresponded back and forth for years as a genetic woman with a cis guy who never knew.  I always told him, how did he know the guy he was chatting with wasn't a woman?

At times like that, the old lines of communication don't seem so bad. Until,  I remembered adding just a touch of my perfume to letters I was writing to a man "back in the day" ( He did know I was a cross dresser.)  I also remember wondering what would have happened if my wife would have caught me doing it or his wife getting the letter before he did?

One benefit of age is, you can gloss over the spots of your life you weren't really proud of or think, just what the hell was I thinking?  Most of the time, I would have-if I could-and did.

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

Our Thursday cover feature is Chris Kolonko the most booked drag artist in Bavaria.