New Construction in an Existing House

If you have ever embarked on any restorations in a house or car or whatever, you know you always discover more to do the deeper you go.

Certainly you can compare a gender transition project as a similar situation. The deeper you go, the more there is to do.

Shelle, who I share links with here in Cyrsti's Condo as well as many similar life experiences just wrote an excellent blog post detailing the road map she is following.

Those of you who are farther along in your transgender journey will certainly see the similarities. Those of you who are considering making the jump will find this read to be very informative!

Check it out here.

NOT Your Father's Camp

More than likely not your camp either. This story I am about to present evokes so many "what if" thoughts in my life, I can't begin to document them all. I'm sure most of you will feel the same after this post from theFrisky:


"For the past three years, photographer Lindsay Morris has been following a group of special kids who attend an annual four-day camp for “gender-nonconforming boys and their parents.” In order to protect the boys and their families, Morris simply refers to the camp as Camp You Are You, and explains it as a place where these boys “don’t have to look over their shoulders, and they can let down their guard. Those are four days when none of that matters, and they are surrounded by family members who support them.”


At camp, boys dress up, play, perform and interact in whatever stage of gender identity they most feel comfortable in. For some, that means wearing wigs and dresses. For others, it includes putting on makeup or heels. Whatever it is, says Morris, it’s a positive step for these kids. “They get enough questioning in their daily lives, so it’s a great place for them to express themselves as they feel. … I feel we hear so many of the sad stories and how LGBT kids are disproportionately affected by bullying, depression, and suicide, and it hangs a heavy cloud over them and kind of dooms them from the beginning. I’m saying this is a new story. This is not a tragedy.”

Author Julie Gerstein said it up best when she wrote" Excuse me, I have a case of the happy cries" I have the deafening echos of "what if".

Getting Frisky!

One of the so called "civilian sites" I visit on a regular basis is theFrisky.  As you may recall, I pull the Cyrsti's Condo  "Horror Scope" from them as well as occasional fashion and other "girl stuffs". theFrisky also is not shy in running transgender and transsexual related material also.
Their latest post that caught my attention was called :
"Mommie Dearest: Let’s Talk About The Difference Between ‘Sex’ & ‘Gender’"

Check out this radical thinking:


"Someone’s sex doesn’t necessarily dictate their gender. A person can be assigned the female gender at birth based on their sexual organs, but be of the male gender. That’s why when somebody gleefully posts their baby-to-be’s “gender,” I bristle a little at the assumption. Now, I’m certainly not advocating for raising up our babies as gender-less, but I don’t see what’s wrong about thinking a bit more critically about all of this. It’s worth thinking about deeply: why are we so obsessed as a culture when it comes to the sex of our babies? Will we treat them any differently based on what’s between their legs?

Unfortunately, various studies have shown that we actually do. There’s nothing inherently wrong with wanting to know a baby’s sex. I get it. We’re a society that feels comfortable and safe when things are easily defined and labeled. However, when this need to know starts the basis of a lifetime’s worth of gender indoctrination, then we have a problem. If you think strict gender codification with babies isn’t a real thing, think again. I have no issue with allowing little girls to be girls or little boys to be boys, but when we put so much pressure on defining them based on their sex right from the start, we make it that much harder for those who stray outside those narrow boxes. Let’s give our kids the space to figure out for themselves what they want to be and love them unconditionally no matter what."

Of course I jest, those of us who do our best to live as a transgender person in a binary gender world just love her thinking. Better yet though, you have civilians such as theFrisky preaching our gospel!  Good for them! We need all the positive preaching we can get!

Follow the link above and you too can "get Frisky"!

Presently Unavailable

For as long as I can remember, I have had a very difficult time living in the present.My mind is always jumping around to other times, places and scenerios. I always was under the impression I simply marched to some distant drummer and that was it.

Now as I think about my life more, I wonder if my mental "escapism" was due in part to my transgenderism. Part of my noggin was available to navigate the present while part of it wasn't.  I'm not saying the other dimensional "half" was operating 100% of the time in a female world but yes it was there a lot.

Perhaps, I just slowly but surely trained myself in a coping mechanism which included my thoughts wondering elsewhere?

Interesting to me as well is the fact I'm into all of this "introspection" at this point in my life.  As I continue to connect my gender dots and merge my gender experiences, perhaps I'm experiencing the opportunity to live more entirely in the moment. Plus (while we are on the subject) , I consider the use of the word merge an incorrect one. I consider I have flipped my dominant gender to the one which was always destined to be me. As my male gender fades more and more into the background of my existence- he is still back there when I need his years of knowledge or expertise in certain situations.  When he dominated though, I could never reach deep inside to my girl soul but somehow I always knew she was there. The world was always just a tad to completely out of focus.

Of course this is all a theory and I will have to leave it to the ones closest to me to determine if focus becomes one of my new traits.

In the meantime I have tired of all this transgender introspection. Lets see, there has to be something else here in Cyrsti's Condo to get my attention!

Ownership at what Cost?

Doesn't matter if you identify as a cross dresser, transgender or transsexual woman or man, owning who we are is expensive.  From the youngest transsexual child who can afford the therapy and medical help,  to the person who comes out trans later in life the physical costs can even outweigh the mental costs- on paper.

Examples? What's a sexual realignment surgery costing these days with or without facial feminization costs? Plus the lifetime worth of drugs you need to begin/continue the process of syncing up your inner and exterior genders. If you are fortunate enough for the process to work at all.

The number of options in our trans culture are countless yet so unreachable for so many of us.  I have said it before of my respect for those of you who stay deep in the closet for the benefit of family or work or both.  I'm the first to admit I was there and tried to it and in the end just couldn't.

So are the non calculable mental costs potentially greater that the psychical ones? Who knows. Personally, yes-there is no way to put a cost on the days of my lack of productivity as I fought my inner gender battles. I know I'm speaking to the choir here, the process is similar to living two lives in two dimensions simultaneously.

Out of necessity and/or choice my investments have been mainly internal. I have purchased ownership of all of me and my closest friends have told me they can see it. Forget the cost of HRT. At the end of the day, my biggest costs have been the mental ones.  It turns out, they were wise investments. Now, before you are diving into your purses for a calculator, consider this:

If  you are putting a dollar amount on your transition and expect your money to buy gender happiness-I'm thinking "it ain't happenin' babes". Then again it's only money right?

Trans Diving

As I do a little re arranging here in Cyrsti's Condo, I ran across a couple of unfinished items.  One of them was the reoccuring question of how I knew it was time for me to move the gender fluid level to female. In my case all of the sudden my whole transgender future was clear as a bright sunny Ohio day. Yes, the skies took a while to clear but when they did it was a "no-brainer" which is exactly why I caught on! But,  knowing what to do and then doing it turned out to be the challenge.

If you have read any of my chatter here, you know I had a unique opportunity to follow my soul for all the wrong reasons and I took the opportunity.  It's indeed like jumping off a cliff.   I just hoped the landing wouldn't be as hard as I imagined and knew it would not be as soft as I hoped for. Just remember the immortal words: it's not the fall that hurts-it's the landing!

Think of the fall like this: The scenery on the way down will not be exactly what you thought it would be and you will have a few unexpected bumps and bruises on the way down. Just make sure when you the hit the bottom, you do it running. Prep yourself for huge climate changes at the bottom and you will be fine- after you acclimate!

Very few decisions in life are as big as when you start messing with gender. Bottom line is, when I got to the gender cliff  I knew I had to jump.   I just had no idea of how I was going to land.

Good luck on your journey and remember to take your jumping shoes with you!

Dedicated to the ones I Love

I have two very close friends embarking on a similar journey:

Another Transgender Hard Fought Victory

From the Los Angeles Times:


" Kaprice Williams (right) has been waiting four years for a new birth certificate. Williams, 50, transitioned from male to female when she was 15, but some essential legal documents still do not recognize her as a woman. That had not been an issue until a job interview went sour when her paperwork revealed she is transgender. Efforts to change her birth certificate had stalled because Williams, a native of Washington, has not had sexual reassignment surgery and cannot afford thousands of dollars in lawyer's fees. Those obstacles are about to become history: Last month, the District of Columbia Council passed the country's most liberal policy for updating birth certificates, one that transgender activists hope will become a nationwide model. The mayor is expected to sign it Tuesday. Activists say the tremendous boost to gay marriage provided by the Supreme Court's rulings in June ultimately will benefit everyone in the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community. This, they say, is the time to focus on the needs of transgender people, who are seen as the most vulnerable of the four groups."



Go here for more.

Not with my Man, in my Restroom or with my Child

Recently here in Cyrsti's Condo we have been discussing genetic women we know in the work place as well as spouses and girlfriends.  Much of it has revolved around their reaction- or lack of it to us.  Here is one reaction from Mandy:

"There's a lady on staff at the nursing home where Mother lives, and we've been talking. But instead of clothes (since I'm usually in Capri pants and sandals, with a sleeveless top), it's makeup. She's helped me a bit with how to apply, is happy that I wear it, and is always ready to talk (when nobody else is around.) She undoubtedly fits this category! Maybe I should ask her for some fashion ideas????? Mandy"

You go girl! Absolutely ask away! Undoubtedly you two share a feminine bond already! Thanks for the comment.

I have always thought it interesting how deep or how shallow an interaction such as Mandy goes if you apply it to a bigger scale.

My opinion is (you all know I have loads of them), transgender, transsexual or cross dressers are basic diversions for most women.  As I have said we cross over into their reality and they are intrigued. Having said that, for the greatest majority of women the line is drawn there.

We Got Mail!

It is a different story if a husband or boyfriend comes home with the news he is transgender, or her child does or God forbid if she runs into you in "her" bathroom. Certainly I understand all of that.  In so many cases it's a life changing experience as intensely challenging for her as it is for us.

Problems arise when we misread "public acceptance" as "personal acceptance" from other women.   I heard a pastor speak on a comparative issue in his church. Most of the congregation on Sunday is outwardly smiling and accepting but on Monday is trying to find a stake to burn us on.

Public acceptance though is a powerful learning tool for transgender folk.  When we do (such as in Mandy's case)  get close enough to the public to let them know we are only people like they are, doors do start to open. Even though ten percent of the public is rumored to have met one of us, I think in the future the probability will be much higher they will.

When and if it happens with the woman you know Mandy, you will get a gold star.  The first thought she may have is "Hey, I have met a trans person before and they are pretty cool!"