Cyrsti's Condo "Woman of the Day"

From Taiwan MtF model Peng Baa:

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

"Ker Plunk!" Another robust version of the Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition" has hit your virtual front porch. Get ready, it's been a busy one around here!


Page One: Tragedy Strikes.  If Leelah Alcorn wanted her suicide to "mean something" it has.  The LGBTQ community has responded with vigils beginning in her hometown of Cincinnati and spanning the globe all the way to New Zealand-so far.  This last week, I attended vigils in Springfield and Cincinnati, Ohio plus made a radio show appearance with an actual therapist who knew "Josh" and never managed (refused) to call her Leelah. 

Cincinnati's WCPO TV reported an estimated 600 people attended.  It was a moving experience as all of the trans women and men (young and old) were encouraged to appear on stage.  The courageous transgender youth were encouraged to tell their stories - which they did.  I came away from the evening knowing it takes more than a village to nourish a young transgender youth, it takes a city.

To all of you who have refused to mention another true clueless victim to all of this tragedy-the truck driver was mentioned too.

Page Two: I'm Invisible at Saks?  I'm a simple person with a simple noggin.  (Calm down with the cheap shots Connie, Bobbie and all!!)  So, I can never quite figure when a company seemingly draws a line in the sand and decides to support discriminating against one of it's transgender women employees:  In December 2014, Saks Fifth Avenue responded to a sex discrimination lawsuit filed by Leyth O. Jamal, a former employee at a Saks store in Texas who claims she was harassed, then fired, for being a trans woman. Saks could have fought Jamal’s suit by insisting that her claims of harassment are false, or that she was terminated for reasons unrelated to her gender. But instead, Saks has claimed that it has a legal right to discriminate against trans employees based on their trans status...Huh? Really? Of course, there are several theories of why Saks would screw this up so bad- go here to read one and stay the hell out of Saks where you are invisible anyhow.


Page Three: Move Over Bitches.  After the vigil last night, Liz and I went to an ancient looking tavern down the street called Motr Pub.  We had never been there, but were attracted by the sign on the window that they had "writer's night" every Tuesday-so in we went.  I knew I was in the right place when a guy who seemed to be a manager was wearing a jacket with a "Zappa for President" patch.  Before too long, the place began to fill up with 20 and 30 something's before the band began to play.  Also (all too soon) the Hudepohl draft beer I was drinking caught up with me and I was headed to the women's room.  The first visit was quiet and harmless enough but my second became interesting when I came out of my stall right into three rather predatory blonds looking at me.  I thought Whoa! said "excuse me" and headed to the sinks-washed my hands and left.  As I returned to my seat next to Liz, I asked her for the proper "generic protocol" for bitches on "man prowl" in the restroom.  She said they weren't much interested in me except to size me up and I did well.
Page Four: The Back Page.  As I said, it has been quite the week.  All of the sudden, I was in the right place at the right time to rethink how I pay forward into the transgender community. More on those ideas later! Thanks for stopping by Cyrsti's Condo!

If I Don't Exist-Can I Buy at Saks?

Bobbie posted a reason why I can't-I don't exist at all!


"Saks could have fought Jamal’s suit by insisting that her claims of harassment are false, or that she was terminated for reasons unrelated to her gender. But instead, Saks has claimed that it has a legal right to discriminate against trans employees based on their trans status.
This tactic is quite odd, for two reasons. First, it is morally repulsive. Saks mis-genders Jamal throughout its filings, referring to her as “he” and “him.” Even worse, when Saks quotes Jamal’s own complaint, it adds a stinging “[sic]” after every reference to Jamal as female, as if to assert that Jamal’s identification as a woman is factually incorrect. Saks, then, not only appears to condone discrimination against trans people; it also seems to refuse to accept the validity of a trans identity at all."

This story seems so out of sync to me for a couple reasons. First, why would Saks let this happen at  all and two, why would they hire (or retaining) such an ignorant out of touch legal team?  Saks' sales must be way up since they don't need any additional dollars from the transgender community?  Or maybe they called Chick Fil-A for ideas?

Cyrsti's Condo "From the Hart"

"Life is like a wheel. You just have to remember to hang on tight when it begins to turn too fast!"


Cyrsti Hart

Just When You Think it's Impossible:

An unnamed MtF gender transition picture comes along which shows you what just could be: 

Rockin the Airwaves!

I can't say Thursday brought back many fond memories of my radio disk jockey days which ended in the early 1980's , but it's worthwhile to note the feedback from a couple of you who heard the broadcast.
 First, The "Fabulous Connie Dee":  I listened to the broadcast stream - not sure if it was up or downstream-complete with commercial interruptions. I even tried to call in (after making a search for their number), but they apparently have but one line, and they would wait forever to hang up on each caller. I thought that it could be fun if we were on at the same time. You did just fine by yourself, though. I remember a Cyrsti from not that long ago who would not have been so restrained. I would have shamelessly plugged your book, had I been given the chance/ {:-)
Connie, don't worry, I have not developed a new "laid back" personality, unless by some chance HRT is working some sort of changes on me. And, I haven't developed the "Dr. Phil" mentality yet by trying to plug my "Stilettos on Thin Ice" book , although I should before I get invited to Ophra's house!


As far as the radio station itself- WAIF, it's a local "subscriber" supported radio station and I really don't know if it is not another of the many "faith based" radio stations around here or simply a non commercial one.  Except for the commercials you pick up on line on their "stream". Yes Connie, being on with you would have been a dream come true- or nightmare when we got kicked off!


And, Janet Warner sent in this comment:  Cyrsti,
I caught part of the show today and heard you when you called back in the second time. I thought the show was very positive, it is so wonderful that finally what it means to be TG is being discussed openly on a radio station with a broad audience. It is a rotten shame however that it takes the death of such a young innocent person to shock folks enough to have the discussion in the first place. Hopefully some good will come of all of this, but as one of the callers said, until it is no longer legal to discriminate against a person on the basis of gender identity, it is hard to see how real progress can happen.


Thanks Janet!  Indeed it is sad a young transgender person has to take her own life for this to happen. Didn't you think the program showed the depth of the problems we face?  Mr. teen therapist Moderator Tom, relayed right off the bat how stunned he was when he found about the "Josh Alcorn" he knew and the problems "Josh" was facing.  At the least now, Moderator Tom has heard about the problems of being transgender and how close to home and well hidden it can be.


While the conversation did show the depth of ignorance we face, until we face up to talking about it-no real progress can happen.  I was happy when I got back in to the show for the third time, I was able to have been one of two transgender veterans on the show. I was able to mention the discrimination active military members face IF they chose to come out.
While I doubt if I will be invited back to participate anytime soon on the station (even though I was not a wild woman), I think perhaps I will get a mention or two at "Moderator Tom's (and Leelah's church) on Sunday. I would love to be a fly on that wall-until I got swatted for being a trans fly.

Cyrsti's Condo Vintage Cartoon

Way, way way back in the day female impersonation cartoons such as this was something I looked for in every one of Dad's Playboy's:

Walk a Mile in My Shoes?

German digital channel ZDFNeo has ordered a six-episode version of Israeli-originated sex-change series Re-Gender.

The format was originally created by Israel’s (now defunct) Buzz Television and started out on Channel 10 in Israel. It is billed as a provocative social experiment and the format sees five men and women swap gender roles to fully appreciate the challenges faced by the opposite sex.

Number one, this is not a sex change series. These people may have a small window to see behind the gender curtain.  I'm biased as I have seen shows like this before.  Along the way, the guys complain about wearing heels or feeling uncomfortable when they always managed to get hit on by another guy.  The women somehow always run into a potentially embarrassing trip to the men's room.  Year's ago, I did see at least one show where the husband turned out to have tons of "passing privilege" His experience was interesting when he ended up working in a temp office job and had a bigger look into a more extensive feminine existence.  

But, as we all know-or should- living as your non birth gender involves more than shopping in the mall appearing undetected as a woman. 

Finally, for the average person on the street, a "fluff" show such as this will be likely to be entertaining to at least the women in the room and/or their closeted cross dressing spouses. For those of us in the real world-not so much.  

Why I'm Leelah Alcorns Greatest Nightmare

And why I could have been her greatest hope.

As you remember, she had written she didn't want to go through life looking like a "man in drag"  It's no secret I have struggled with "passing privilege" my entire life and not the example I would want to show a young transgender girl.  Then again, I do.

I wanted to show her I could have been her greatest hope.  After all, at the least, transgender people like me are survivors. We have been through the taunts, the rejections and the suicide attempts.  With, or without our families we have made it.  If Leelah was sitting in front of me today, I could say yes it does get better to an extent but changes more.

I thought it was interesting Tom, the moderator/therapist of the show (who continually pleaded ignorance on LGBTQ issues) wasn't ignorant enough to not mention one person who went through SRS, lived as a woman for years and now wants to go back to living as a man.  About that time I was trying to call back the final part of the show and rejoin the discussion-but couldn't get back in.

You see Leelah, it would be easy for me to brush off your 17 year old ideas of finality. What you see at 17 is a brush with reality and far from final.  Don't we all know the kids in high school who peaked then?  Tom, could mention attempting to reverse a sex change after 30 years but didn't have the information about puberty blocking medications?  It just seems to me a person who deals with teen counseling would have some sort of idea.

I'm biased of course but if Leelah was my child, I would recommend the puberty blockers as a "hedge bet".

So yes, I am the person (quoting Tom) who sounded "like a man" on the phone. (I do) but Leelah, it's so sad no one encouraged you to go on puberty hold. The gender landscape is changing so rapidly, your future would have been so bright and not similar at all to mine. Plus, due to length considerations on the radio (I assume) no mention was made of the family's desire to pull Leelah out of school.  I didn't bring it up because I am not sure of the extent of the accuracy.

Plus, lost in all of this is the semi truck driver who was just making a living.  Does Leelah's church pray for him?

Between A Rock and a Hard Place And a ----

I really did not know what to expect from today's radio show on WAIF in Cincinnati.  I come away from it still not knowing.  I want to thank Connie and others for your support.  The show was moderated by a teen therapist with a lesbian and I called in for the first half hour and then for approximately ten minutes later.The therapist actually knew Leelah but only as Josh and was definitely trying to walk a type rope over a canyon he knew nothing about.  Then again I question if he wanted to understand at all.

Bowing to forces he would not identify, he refused to use Leelah's first name, referring to her only as "Alcorn."  I pretty much stuck by my guns and went in for the understanding of transgender youth everywhere.  I have to say, he was pretty slick.  He would say if one of his three teen children was transgender, he would support them and he wasn't a Christian therapist -he was a therapist who was Christian.  Then, later on he said "Alcorn's parents didn't know the extent of his concerns." I just said aren't they the parents and shouldn't they?

About this time another transgender woman called and waded in, with more force than I and with the same results-none.  I was remembering about what Racquel told me about fundamental conservative Christians at this point, "They would simply circle their wagons, find others to blame and move on."  Racquel was right and I'm not so sure I wasn't wasting an hour or so out of my life today.

As far as the lesbian co-host went, she was typical too. I wouldn't expect her to spend her life worrying much about the differences in sexuality and gender anyhow. She had her own "cross to bear" coming out to a Pentecostal/ Baptist family. No fun doing that.

So my expectations were exceeded - zero plus zero equals zero.  The therapy peep will to go back to his peeps with no perceived real knowledge or sympathy. After all,  "don't all 17 year old's rebel against their parents like this?" And, by the way, how does Cyrsti get through life if his er her voice sounds like a man on the phone?

The world goes on, I just wish I could have slowed it down a bit more.

A Trans Girl Should Be Three Things

Recently, I saw this fashion board on Pinterest called "A Girl should be Two Things-Classy and Fabulous."

Being a trans girl, I added a third because we transgender women have to try harder.  We have to be Fabulous, Classy and Act Like We Have Been Here.  It's nearly impossible for me to pull up an example, but I am going to use boxing legend Kellie Maloney (left) who went through a publicized Mtf gender transition in 2014. Kelli looks genuine, happy and like she belongs.

So, when I read comments from haters within our community who want to emphasize ONLY appearance.  I was watching a show on Oxygen called Living Different .  The show features several different generics including one who is in love with a Ftm transitioning transgender man and one of the most androgynous models I have seen-known as Rain. "Rain" dates both genders and in the show had one of her prospective photographers (generic) locked eye to eye.  My sister in law was watching it with me and said the photographer without a doubt would go out with Rain.  I said not so fast...when I meet civilians, many times I can see they are locked "onto me".  I am "fabulous" because they have never met anyone like me, not because they want to run off and do insane things with me.  Class follows quickly because indeed I need to downplay any idea I am brave or courageous because I am living life on my terms.  Finally, I have to be calm and play the moment because most of the time I am the teacher.  Fortunately I can, because increasingly I have been here and are doing it.

It's just another reason I believe in attitude over appearance when we transgender people interact with the world.