Transgender Weight Loss Infomercial!

As you all know I'm  a avid groupie of "Femulate". "Stana" (author) recently commented on the advantages of losing weight.
Can you imagine turning on your television at one in the morning and seeing a transgendered girl explaining the advantages of losing weight? Zumba NO! Crossdressing YES! One full half hour telling men how putting on a dress will help them to shed pounds? Wives, get that fat hubby off the couch and into a new skirt and heels.
I used to be a size 24....now I'm an 18!!!!! The size decrease is true but of course I'm joking about the rest!
Certainly the weight loss has helped me physically. The care I take with my skin has helped me too.
Too be able to wear less foundation in this summer weather alone may be as beneficial as the as shopping is better.
The increase in selection of clothes is dramatic as you drop from an extra large to a large in tops and from a 22 to an 18 in jeans.
I now have a better understanding of why women obsess about dieting. Looks and health are great reasons of course.  Better shopping takes it to a whole fun level!
So maybe an "infomercial" is possible!

Mother/Daughter Reunion!

Another story from the UK. From "The Sun" a story about a transgendered youth who recently started hormone therapy.
"Hannah's" story is becoming more and more common fortunately. Mom accepts son's desire to become female. Dad is begrudgingly accepting.
The more these stories become routine, the more we transgendered humans become routine.

"Hannah and Mum"

More acceptance, less violence. If it was only that easy!!!!

Steamy!

Heat index of one hundred degrees in my part of the world. A humid heat. The sort of heat that melts you and your makeup!
Summer is young and so far I have been able to put together a number of flattering outfits that make an attempt to keep me cool. 
I think I have passed along the fact that I can't shave my arms (due to work) and have these damn thick wrists that were a plus swinging a bat but a negative with even three quarter sleeves.
I haunt the thrift stores now searching for any lite weight top with long sleeves and there are not many.
Another problem I have is I am seen by the same people more and more so I need a wardrobe that varies.
On the positive side, the shorter skirts I've found seem to be cooling and flattering to my legs. In addition, some of the more naive individuals I encounter just know I have to be female with my smooth hairless legs.
At any rate, summer is not one of my favorite times of the year.  What famous philosopher said "deal with it"?

Dad's Not Home

With "Father's Day" approaching, I started to wonder where he went. Not my Dad. He passed years ago and was fortunate to have lived a long and productive life.
I'm thinking about me the "Dad". I have a daughter who I came out to the beginning of this year.
When I have nights like last night when no one questioned my female presentation I know "Dad" is gone. I knew Dad was gone a couple days ago when I saw the blond in the mirror as I shopped. I knew I was her...all her.
Later on this month I will get my "Father's Day" card and phone call.  I know no matter what happens I will always be "Dad". I certainly will not use the opportunity to bring the whole trans situation up again to my daughter. She has enough life to worry about!
I was thinking of getting my own card. My own little version of goodbye. Then again, a little too dramatic?

I Exercised My Right!

I exercised my right as a girl, went blond again and had a wonderful time.

I truly believe that "blonde's don't have more fun" but they certainly do get more attention.
My attention last night was all good from what I could determine. Of course other women provide the best feedback. 
I was dressed rather professionally with black jacket, skirt, white cami and flats. I passed several groups of middle aged to younger women who paid me no attention what so ever. I did get one eye eye "bitch" look from a 20 something blond later but that was it.
Surprisingly, yet another very strong "girl thing" has crept into my existence.
Since I wear a lot of jeans, crossing my legs has never really been a priority with me.
Until now.
Wearing a short skirt and leaning back and reading or texting really helps me feel woman.  I know what you are thinking..."DUH".
As I carried on a fashion conversation last night with a woman sitting next to me and later when I caught a man looking at my legs I wondered how I missed this.
Maybe it's like the blond hair...it all comes back to help!

Something Different?

I receive questions about my sexuality. Big surprise? Certainly not.
Without going into gory detail most of you know I was married for years to a woman (deceased) who knew of my trans disposition . You may also know of my developing interest in men over the past year or so.
All of this brings up the "straight" question. Are the men interested in me straight? Am I? Who cares?
A great look into attractions between men comes from "The Edge" in Boston.
The "Boys who like boys who look like girls" article deals with the subject basically from the views of drag queens. Many do admit that looking like a woman is a great way to pick up men. In a gay club. My relatively limited experience hasn't show me that. Then again, I've never been a performer and do not live in a major metropolitan area. Actually, I've been approached by more women.
What's the attraction? Women for the most part are just curious. Why do you want to play in their world? Somehow you become more than a gay guy in a dress in their eyes. So very correct!
Men are stereotyped too.Is it simply that some men just really want to have sex with a man... One who happens to look female makes it all right. Sure all of that is true but enter the third gender.
Most of the men I have encountered would have answered no to the "gay" question. For whatever reason they identify with the female in me.
From drag queens to straight guys to all of us in the middle, all of this makes for an interesting life. For the life of me I will never understand those who find it all so evil and even resort to violence.
What's the old line? "Whatever gets you through the night?"

Epiphany?

Is 'epiphany" a big word? Do we even understand what it means? I had to look up the spelling.
I always thought it meant an "awakening".
Whatever the definition, I had a "epiphany" tonight.
To begin  with, I wasn't going to go out. The evening was far along by the time I even started to get ready.
I kept telling myself I would take too long to get ready and why bother. Famous last words as I left the house in a half hour.
I went to two very crowded straight venues and never got so much as a side glance.
I caught myself on the way home thinking...What should I do to make the evening more exciting? Stop somewhere else?
Then the "Big E" hit me
Why have I always made this so tough on myself? From the first day I put on a borrowed mini skirt as a teenager and paraded in front of my friends I've always tried to take my "girlness" to another level.
Don't get me wrong. Another level is not always bad. Levels are how we advance.
Years ago I decided to take my life to this level of living as a female. To me that meant going places I would enjoy more. I had never really enjoyed the gay clubs and was trying to merge my male interests into my female self. That meant sports bars were in my future.
Obviously I was very apprehensive. This level was very difficult. I wanted to look my best and at the same time "blend" in my jeans. None of this was destructive. I was living a life I wanted to live.
Now that life has become relatively matter of fact. Believe me, I never would have thought I would have arrived here.
Now, back to the "epiphany". My personality is "what's next"!  Go ahead girl and push that envelope a little farther... but the push is often as painful as it is exciting. My thoughts turned to maybe I should just relax with the look I have and how I use it and where I go with it.
The best example I can share with all of you was Monday. I went to one of my sports bars and literally felt so good sliding into my seat and crossing my legs. I was already having a delightful conversation with a man that day, so the romantic texts I was getting didn't hurt.
Maybe, just maybe this time I will listen to the "epiphany" and stay put in my life right now. I can have more fun looking for new outfits than seeking out new frontiers.

I Hear It!

Just a whisper comes floating across my room. "It's summer. Go blond and they will come!"
OK, too many movies. I know!!!!
Still, it's inviting.
The problem is a radical hair change destroys the relationship with some I have worked long and hard to perfect.
Explaining new curls in hair  the same color is easy to explain. A total new hair color isn't.
I know you are thinking women do it all the time. The difference is that they normally don't go back quickly to the old color. I might want to.
I have considered doing it and going to some brand new venues and checking the responses.
I will keep you posted!
Cyrsti

Wow!

I felt a little adventurous last night. After all, it was Saturday right in the middle of a holiday weekend.
I 've putting this outfit together for weeks. Mixing and matching with no success until I just happened to find my black "flippy" skirt I loved soooo much!
I wore my off the shoulder top which came about half way down the skirt which came half way up my thigh. The choice of shoes was easy. I have a pair of decorated shiny black flats. The outfit was a mix of black and a olive green in the top and showed adequate skin for the season.
 The big decision was my hair...sexy and wavy or conservative straight with bangs?  I have fallen back in love with the long wavy style you see in the picture at the top of the blog. It is actually cooler than my long straight hair in the summer weather. So, why not? Bring on the curls girl!
Of course this was just the beginning. I was fortunate to have had an early day at work and had time to shave my legs and get ready. No quick shave, make up and out the door.
Decisions, decisions...decisions!
First I added some of the new "bling" I bought at "Charming Charlies" and picked out my black shiny bag that matched my shoes. Fixed my nails, slipped on a few new rings and finally was ready to go!
So...20 minutes later I pulled into a surprisingly busy regular place of mine. It almost seemed surreal. Was it really me walking through the parking lot  into an upscale pub/restaurant (bare shouldered with long flowing black hair) in a short skirt. A group of two men and women were standing by the front door. One of the guys was checking me out from head to long bare legged toe. He started watching me from the time I left my car. Obviously, he was either reading me for what I was...or wasn't.
I used to tighten up or even dodge these situations whenever possible.  But last night I through my shoulders back and slowed my walk down and took my time moving past them.
They didn't say a word I could hear...lol!
As the evening rolled on, the newness of the skirt (of all  things) gave me some problems of sitting and moving. I had to be very careful when leaving the bathroom that the skirt was situated right!!!!!
Speaking of the bathroom, it was very populated last night. Never had to wait in line...but it was close.  I do know I didn't convince all the women I ran into that I was all girl.
For some reason it didn't matter at all. The only thing a few of them had on me is that they were born female. Then were the others!
The women with style. The clothes, the makeup hair and bodies were the ones I wanted to chat with. Ironically, they are the ones who don't seem to notice me at all. I don't get to play in their sandbox!
That's OK though. Those women are and always have been my motivation to be a better girl.
There just has to be a better makeup, hairstyle or outfit that will put me in their league.
Every once in awhile I get a glimpse of how it is to play there.
Settling for just a glimpse is the difficult part!

Couldn't Said It Better!

Maybe I did...kind of...lol!
From "Creative Loafing Atlanta"  Comes a question about picking up a transgendered person.
After a couple stupid stereotypes, words and jokes, the "Sexorist" finally delivered some sound advice:
"First, look your best. You're dealing with somebody who takes extraordinary measures to look like an appealing woman. She is going to expect her men to have some pride in their appearance.
Next, be sure of what you want. If she senses that all you want is a piece of strange with a capital S, she'll most likely send you packing. She's not interested in being somebody's experiment.
You're probably not a little bit nervous meeting her, and you need to get a grip on it. Most likely the nervousness is from those questions banging in your head. As in, "Why am I attracted to T-girls and what does that say about me?" That you're gay? Extremely doubtful.
Most guys into T-girls are straight. That you're twisted? No. There's nothing twisted about being attracted to another human being.
One thing I can tell you for sure: Stop the stare fest. T-girls get stared at a lot — and most of it is not positive. Concentrate on being friendly. Say hello. And for God's sakes, smile. After all, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
Establish a pattern. Come in, say hello, SMILE, chat her up. Once it's clear that you've got some kind of connection, make up a nonromantic reason to give her your card ("Oh, I saw something online I thought you'd appreciate. Text me and I'll send you a link.").
From there, it's just a hop, skip and a jump to actually meeting somewhere. Leave your list of questions at home. Talk to her as if you'd talk to any woman, not as if you're conducting an on-the-job interview.
Meet her in a crowded place. It's really important to make her feel safe — by the choice of where you meet, using open body language, not staring, and avoiding any conversation that gives her a twinge that she's dealing with a nut case. It's easy. I do it all the time with my editor.
A couple of things you might want to keep in mind — do not assume she's interested in dating guys. A lot of T-girls don't. Whatever you do, don't be stingy and suggest you split the check. Pick it up. It's a sad fact but the transformation from male to female is not just a sexual reassignment; it's also a socio-economic one. They often break the bank to make themselves whole."
Following the link will lead you to some classic feedback!
Cyrsti

The "Eyes" Have it!

Today a guy friend and I  had a great discussion about my weekend. I made a big point of  telling him how much he would have enjoyed the female scenery last night. The topic flowed along until I mentioned the blond who gave me the "you bitch" look.
He asked why and I told him I wasn't sure but I gave it right back to her. Was it my hair, clothes or makeup? Was I a threat somehow? Don't know. Don't care.
I went on to explain the incredible amount of time women communicate with other women just using their eyes. Was this form of communication perfected by the cave girls when they were  picking berries and danger approached? A better explanation is that men just don't listen to women or don't understand what is being said to them  (True) Women have just perfected a gender specific form of communication to function.
By this time, my friend said "I must have missed all of that" and I said he was supposed to and the conversation  moved on. He wouldn't have understood or maybe even cared!
Here's how "eye" see it.
1.-'Amused look.' Normally associated with a guy who is being an idiot. A quick look your way with a "do you believe this attached."
2.-"Maybe look". I might like some of what I'm seeing or hearing check back with me later for the gossip. Another quick glance.
3.-"In love look" Doesn't involve any other person than the one the woman is interested in. No glance at all unless you are the one she is or could be in love with.
4.-"Beware look" A solid quick look that tells you all you need to know about maybe leaving.
5.-"The Bitch look." A stare down with a total stranger that seems like an eternity. The only certainly is that she is treating you like a woman and one she doesn't like!
Of course there are many more "looks".  I can't stress enough how this form of communication has opened my doors for me in the female world.
Yet another gender "dynamic" which is so evident but is not!

We Are Not Ready!

Take a second and try to think of the number one transgendered entertainer in the USA.
Times up..you can't think of one can you? Good Ole macho Uncle Sam hasn't produced any "Harisu's" from Korea or "Dana Internationals" from Israel. I won't even go into transgender stars from Japan and India.
It seems we can't even produce a sitcom (or reproduce) with  good convincing cross dressing actors. A new show called "Work It" is being put together with the good old tried and true idea of men not being able to find jobs as guys and go after employment as women. What a wild and crazy idea!
Sure, the USA has produced notable big screen parts for Jack Lemmon, Tony Curtis and Dustin Hoffman to show off as women. The television has basically  given us guys playing women for laughs. "Milton Berle" and "Flip Wilson" are two that come to mind. We always knew they were taking the dress off when they got off the stage.
If "Work It" casted "Jai Rodriquez" for the starring role instead of an actor who brought back memories of "Tom Hanks" in "Bosom Buddies" there would be no way the show would ever make it. "Hanks" interaction with the public as a girl was humorous. He didn't make a convincing woman.  "Rodriquez" on the other hand does  look convincing as a girl No humor there when a guy hits on him. I suppose the question would be could he "butch" it up enough to handle the male scenes? Would America buy the fact an "out" gay man was playing a married guy who had to go out a get a job as a woman? NOT!
The sad fact is the entertainment industry just reflects "life as it is" for transgendered people.Stay hidden go stealth and you will not see one of us on a weekly television show.
Maybe in the future we will make the huge leap from murderers and thieves to the trans girl or guy next door.
Until that time watch all three episodes of "Work It" before it goes stealth and disappears!

Was It Something I Said?

I normally stay completely to myself. Speak when spoken too. Content with moving through society in my own little stealth mode.
Recently I stepped out of the mode to "help" a couple of 20 something guys with two "can't miss" trivia answers. (Hey 2 out of 20?). The seat I chose next to them was  the only one left and they gave me a long glance as I sat down.
Our unseasonably cold weather was continuing and I was meeting a guy there later so I wore one of my favorite "black" outfits. Black sweater, leather coat and hair accessorized with silver earrings and necklace.
As I caught up on my cell messages, I overheard them agonizing over a question about an old "Wonder Bread" commercial I leaned over and gave them my answer and was ignored and that was fine. After all, ignoring women is an age old male art form, trans or not.
Much later in the same round another question came up in a baseball category. I knew the answer and told one of them what is was. As our eyes locked, I knew it wasn't love or even lust I saw in them but it was way too late to turn back. We went on to have a conversation about the answer. The other guy was civil but I focused on the hostile one. Very quickly a better seat opened in another spot so I moved an took it.
He never had a chance to thank me! lol.
Maybe I was a "radical queer" that night by intruding in his game and forcing him to acknowledge me or he didn't want a woman knowing a little more.
My "date" arrived and we became immersed in learning a little more about each other so the experience faded quickly.
So much for "stealth" and trivia!

Putting A Job Where Your Feelings Are.

The "Meggan Sommerville" and "Hobby Lobby" debacle in Aurora, Illinois started me thinking. Would I hire Meggan now?
For 30 plus years I've been in an industry (retail) in a hiring position. I put myself on a pedestal for hiring a trans woman years ago.
A closer look makes that pedestal look very shaky at times. The woman I hired was actually a great fit for the concept I hired her for. On the other hand I knew I was leaving that store the next week and wouldn't be there for the repercussions. It turned out there were few but life went on. I lost touch with how long the woman lasted there.
How would I react today? It would be tough. To my knowledge the woman was the only trans female I have ever interviewed in my career. If she walked back through my door today would I hire her again. Would I toss my "guy" reputation on the line?
I would but I'm fairly sure the company I work for wouldn't. I can't condemn them completely. They have to make decisions in  a very conservative- economically challenged market. I can tell you if I was in a situation where a very presentable trans woman such as Meggan (judgement from a picture) could fit in I would hire her in a second.  As a hiring manager, three factors would come in to play. Would she upgrade the staff. How much public interaction would occur (constant?) and how would the current staff and my superiors react? The last consideration would be the restroom!
So my pedestal is real but shaky. In addition, I'm very small time.
I do wonder if real human resource people  go through any training concerning the trans community. Without any concrete info, I would assume they do have some sort of rules concerning a person who transitions on the job but don't on hiring decisions.
The real training comes from living life and knowing the trans community for what it is...  Just another group of diverse individuals attempting to live their lives the best they can.
As I prepare to leave more and more of my male self behind, I need to always remember one big thing. The college age person I may happen to interact with may be a human resources person someday.
It's time to switch pedestals and make sure I represent us well!

Really?

Meggan Sommerville

From the "WLS" news blog in Chicago: ":A west suburban transgender woman has filed two charges of discrimination with the state against the Aurora arts and crafts store she has worked at for a number of years, stating that management has barred her from using the women's restroom and threatened her with further disciplinary action if she were to use the women's room in the future
Meggan Sommerville of Oswego was born Mark Sommerville,  according to the charges filed in April with the Illinois Department of Human Rights (IDHR).
Sommerville has worked for Hobby Lobby, an arts and crafts supply store, in Aurora "for a number of years," according to her lawyer, Betty Tsamis. In July of 2010, Sommerville began to transition from male to female, the charges state."
The story goes on to point out the Meggan was not allowed to use the women's room at work and even was written up for using the men's at one point. She adjusted by changing her fluid intake at work and was even going across the street to use the woman's bathroom at lunch.
Really? Is something as common and mundane as a bathroom visit causing this woman so much pain? Actually the bathroom is the line in the sand for transphobics around this country. The bathroom issue is just one of the battles in a big war.
The other shame is that "Meggan" can't tell "Hobby Lobby" to go to hell and go out and find a better job. I'm sure she would tell us all it doesn't work that easily for trans women or as a matter of fact for most people in today's economy.
What a brave woman Meggan is for bringing to the spotlight "Hobby Lobby" in Aurora  for such a ridiculous stand.

Two Queens in a Deck.

Yet another fascinating look into the various subcultures we live with are "Queens dating Queens".
I ran across a interesting article on the subject from "Edge" from Boston.

Sahara Davenport and Manila Luzon 

"In the gay world, drag queens are expected to go out with more masculine-appearing men. But when that expectation is violated, it is sometimes met with derision or surprise. Still, some drag queens are attracted to other drag queens. And these "ki kis" (pronounced kai kai) - defined by Urban Dictionary as drag queens having sex - are often alluded to with an amused or slightly negative tone. "
I too bought into the stereotype. Many years ago my wife had a couple male employees who were beautiful drag queens. At no point in time did they ever indicate they were sexually interested in other than gay guys. At all of the drag shows I have ever been to the queens are always flirting with guys not other queens.
Shame on me! A notable drag couple is pictured above.
Luzon, the wife of "RuPaul’s Drag Race" Season 2’s Davenport, is very committed to her ki ki relationship. "Our relationship is really great because we share a passion for drag, we love being creative together, and we have doubled our wardrobes," said Luzon. "The worst part is that our apartment can become a disaster really easily: rhinestones embedded in the carpet, wigs everywhere, sequins in every nook and cranny. It’s like an episode of ’Hoarders: Drag Edition!’" she said.
Luzon admitted she used to hide all of her wigs, high heels, and sequin dresses in her closet, just in case she decided to bring someone home with her. Five years ago, she met a boy at a bar. They hit it off and began seeing each other. "After a few weeks, we discovered we were both drag queens," said Luzon. "By that time, it was too late. We were hooked on each other!"
As they said. "It's not about the art...it's the sex!"

Life is a Bitch!

Then you become one? I know a few of my trans sisters who have achieved that lofty goal.
I don't want to become one though.
Every so often I get frustrated with the number of men who "want to meet me".  I can normally expect a lifespan of a week or two on that comment. I do understand I'm a rather exotic commodity and they fall in "lust" with the fantasy.
The frustration sets in when I consider how easy it really is to meet up with me if you are a local guy or woman. I lead a really active life. I am out there. I'm very adamant in the fact I will not meet someone for the first or even ever in a hotel room. That alone takes many men (married) out of the mix.
I'm sure many of the guys who contact me do want to meet me but just can't for any number of reasons. Again I bring up the wife or what would their buddies think?
Maybe the learning curve should lessen the frustration level. I've always felt my goal was a simple one. I would love a friend to hang out with, do things and enjoy each other. What I found was the number of men who used to dress as women or want to be forced to dress as one.
 I was either too naive or just too ignorant to realize the sheer number of men who walk that path.
It could be I'm simply learning a real female lesson.  A good guy is hard to find and men really do think with the small head.  Surprisingly my life as a guy didn't show me that. Maybe my other head was too small.
Women are right about many things. This is just another that leads to distrust.
Maybe I'm wrong about the guys who just come out and say "meet me in room 235 at 8pm for a night of fun".
They are at least the honest ones.
Then when I say no...maybe I am the bitch!

Is "Katie" the Future?

This is "Katie" on the left trying on a bracelet with her mother. As you probably guessed since I'm blogging about her, Katie used to be "Luke".From the "Tulsa World" comes Katie's story..
Katie grew up with three other brothers and a Marine officer Dad.
Here's an excerpt from the story that just blew me away! Just in time for Mother's Day.
Mom..."I was expecting (Luke) to sit me down and say, 'Mom, I'm gay,' "
Jazzlyn recalled.
Instead, at age 15, Luke told her: "I'm not gay, Mom. I'm transgender."
Her reaction: "A trans-what? I had prepared myself for 13, 14 years
that my son was gay. And now I'm thinking, 'Rocky Horror Picture
Show'?"

They cried.

Jazzlyn's heart ached for her child. She knew this would be a
difficult path in life. But she was worried that Luke might kill
himself otherwise.
So she did what moms do when they see that the child they love is
hurting: They fix it.
"What do you want me to do?" she asked her son.
I want to go shopping. I want to buy a bra. I want to get my ears
pierced and grow my hair out. I'm not a boy. I'm a girl in a boy's
body, he told her.
"If that's what you honestly feel like, I'll stand behind you,"
Jazzlyn said. "You've just got to give me time."

If I would have said anything similar to that to my Mom...her recommendation would have been the same as when I did try to "come out" to her.  Get a shrink and get rid of it!
So as Mother's Day approaches, I hope Katie's Mom is the future. If not, then she at the least is a great example of a loving caring Mother on their day!

Classic "Candy"

Could not resist passing along another  "Candy Darling" pix.
 For those of you who remember "Kim Novak", she was one of Candy Darling's idols and for good reason! She was another of the "blond bombshells"of the 50's.

"Normal" Ohio.

I'm sure you all have been to your "Normal". If you live there long enough, you begin to feel very comfortable.
 The sun rises and sets exactly the same on your " Normal" as others.
My "Normal" is gaining population. For whatever reason some people want in. I am very comfortable here and learning more about living here. Many are curious. Many just want to see what all the fuss is about.
On occasion, I wonder if I am too comfortable. Will I be too complacent and open myself for some unexpected problem?  Outsiders passing through and looking into "normal" may not appreciate it's population.
It takes us all a lifetime to build our "Normal". On occasion, the "Normal" you see is a mirage. The "All American" church going neighbors are really swingers? Really?
Maybe that is part of the reason my "Normal" looks good to a few outsiders. It has become very ironic that a lifestyle that started as a gender masquerade, has become such an exercise in reality.
Agree or not agreeing  with my life is fine. Agreeing with my right to do it and having the courage to do it makes the "Welcome to Normal" sign look really good to some. The rest? Time will tell.