Shoe Time?

Thanks to several of you, we have gotten plenty of response here in Cyrsti's Condo to a short series of posts we did on the closing of Payless Shoes. Responses ranged from no interest at all from Shelle, to heading there during lunch (Sally) to Connie's reference to her visits at DSW , an upscale competitor to Payless who undoubtedly led to their demise:

"I've not had much luck with Payless, myself. Many years ago, I bought two pair of shoes there, and I only got the second pair because it was a BOGO sale. That's a 50% discount...sorta. I imagine that what has made Payless a go-to for trans women is that they do carry some larger sizes, but they also are basically a self-service outfit. I have found that DSW works better for me, and I can get better quality at pretty good discounts (becoming a VIP shopper yields even more discounts). I usually go to the back of the store first, which is where they have the clearance shoes grouped by size. The nice leather boots I'm wearing this winter were purchased last spring, and they cost me only $12.00 ($160-80%=$32.00, and a $20.00 coupon)."

I literally have not been to a DSW Shoes for years, due to the fact I could never find my size there. I would imagine in today's world though, with the overall increase in size of women's feet, things may be different now.

Overall, I am not the shoe fanatic many transgender/cross dresser women are. So my shoe buying experiences aren't as frequent. I also can't wear heels, so I have to "manufacture" the power women get from their heels in other ways. As long as my MtF gender dysphoria isn't working against me, I normally don't have a problem with confidence which doesn't have anything thing to do with shoes. Plus, I so love it when the others (trans or CD) have to bend down to hug me or talk to me.

Finally, speaking (writing) of frequent, tonight I will have a chance to wear one of my new pairs of shoes when we go out to yet another transgender - cross dresser social. I find this one to be more relaxing than the karaoke one we go to once a month. It is quieter and easier to communicate at the venue. 

I will let you know how it goes.

Just a Little Piece of Plastic

Yesterday when my hematologist was checking me over, he asked me to raise my sweater so he could check my stomach. Along the way, he noticed my two estrodial patches on my sides and asked what they were.

He didn't ask what they were for. If he did, the simplest answer would have been, the patches make me the person I am today. Then I began to think about it on the way home, maybe he didn't realize I was transgender. 

For sure, all the long term positive feminizing effects of the hormones have kicked in, allowing me more gender freedom than I have ever known. Plus, the debilitating effects of my MtF gender dysphoria have decreased. Normally, I thank a higher power for my opportunity to go on HRT (hormone replacement treatment) daily.

Then I began to think of all of those trans people who for whatever reason can't go on the hormonal journey I did. I wanted to write you have all my respect. I know many are restricted medically from taking the HRT route and just as many have potential lifestyle issues with family and employment. Neither a great way to address gender dysphoria.

Now I have to worry about the VA changing my patches to a lesser effective generic brand of patch like they did to the trans woman I had lunch with yesterday. I have heard there was a shortage. I have enough patches to get through the next couple of months, so we shall see!

On the Road Again

Just ahead of another big winter storm, I was able to safely navigate my way over the 150 plus mile round trip to see my Hematologist today (Tuesday). 

I made the trip up the highway to keep my doctors appointment at the Dayton, Ohio Veterans Hospital.  The same ones who nursed me back to health when I was diagnosed with a very high iron level in my blood over two years ago.

Today proved to be a very beneficial day. Most importantly, my blood work turned out fine again as my iron level was within the prescribed levels. As I always say, I am nothing without my health.

When I get my blood labs done, it takes approximately an hour or so to get the results to my doctor. I usually spend the time eating a much needed lunch. As I am very hungry after fasting for twelve hours so they can get a reliable test.

I was already feeling good about myself when after a considerable wait for blood labs, two guys who were sitting across from me began to talk. As they began to discuss how long one of them had waited, he said, "not as long as she has." Referring to me. He didn't know of course how much that meant to me. Years ago, in the same place was where I was referred to as a "fa--ot" by a bigot who was sitting near me.

The cafeteria continued my run of proper pronouns when I was in one of the custom sandwich lines. The guy making my sub sandwich called me mam, as did the cashier as I was headed to find a table. Lunch proved to be more pleasant when I ran into another transgender woman who I had met previously at my LGBTQ support group meeting.  We sat together and chatted until it was time for my appointment.

Even the interstates today seemed to be more mellow, even though it was because my time on the road was at non peak times. Because, I chose not to wait over for today's' support group meeting. 

They just had to carry on without me :) 

Payless

In yesterday's Cyrsti's Condo post, I mentioned Payless Shoes was closing all of it's stores.

We promptly went out to our very new Payless Super Store, waded in to the crowd and found three good buys in my 11W women's size. I even had the available finances to buy the shoes. The selection was very good and yes I did see one man looking at the larger size women's shoes.

Even though the stores are expected to be open through March (according to Connie), I wanted to get the best of discounts and selection. I ended up buying a new pair of black flats, a pair of summer sandals to wear with my maxi dresses and a new pair of girls tennis shoes.  So now, I very much have my warm weather footwear needs taken care of.

If you are wondering, the initial discounts were between twenty and forty percent. Since I rarely buy on line due to sizing issues, I don't know what Payless maybe offering discount wise in their on line store. 

Bored

Yesterday was almost the complete boring day. Liz's brother came for his birthday but wanted to spend it at our house. So, after I went with her to martial arts, we then came home for a brief cleaning of the house and waited for him to show up.

Once he did get here, he sat down on the couch for a seven hour stay. To make matters worse, he is not a conversationalist at all. At least we were home and didn't tie up a servers' table for a couple hours. Plus, I could get up and move around a bit when I felt like the chair was becoming part of my body.

So much for an exciting blog post!

Changing gears now, perhaps those of you in the United States have heard, Payless Shoes is closing all of it's 2000 plus stores. Over the years, on occasion, I have been able to find good shoes in my size (11Wide) at Payless. I am sad to see them go.

We are heading there today to see what is available.

Cosmo Girl?

As I have mentioned previously here in Cyrsti's Condo, I have become a regular reader of "Cosmopolitan Magazine." Of all places, I started to read it in my waiting rooms at the Veteran's Administration. I started out as a skeptic, wondering what in the world I have in common with all these impossibly skinny and beautiful young women...but not all as you can see in the picture.

Along the way though, I found all these wonderful articles on what women feel, mostly about the world of men. I even found an article celebrating the virtues of dating a transgender man!

Every now and then too, I read a reaffirming article on makeup. For example, I found out I was applying my blush the correct way. Over a fresh coat of foundation.  I never felt there was any other way all these years. Even though I don't consider myself anywhere close to the cutting edge in makeup application, I seem to find an idea or two in every issue.

FYI...a whole years subscription to Cosmo costs me less than fourteen dollars.

A small price to pay to give me yet another look at what I have missed in the world of cis-women.

I need all the help I can get!

More Transgender Affirmation

Phillipa from Great Britain (I believe) was kind enough to send in an email via cyrstih@yahoo.com concerning her very positive experience out and about in the feminine world:

"Hi I just read your Wednesday blog. On Monday a a good friend came to stay so that us girls could go and visit Stourhead in Wiltshire. We were lucky enough to get on the behind the scenes tour of this historic house.

When we were in the old kitchens the tour guide was nice enough to point in my direction and say behind that Lady is a set of instructions for cleaning the chimneys (In the old days boys were sent up the larger chimneys). It is so nice to be recognised for the girl I am.

Best regards

Philippa"

Good for you! Way to go Phillippa! Nothing beats an spur of the moment unsolicited affirmative comment.  

Transgender Affirmation

Affirmation of course is wonderful in whatever you do but even more so the longer you have worked to achieve a goal.

For decades now, one of my major goals (even when I was dreaming in the closet) was to become accepted for who I was - a transgender woman, or even a complete woman. Last night, at dinner with friends it happened. For two hours I was able to feel a complete part of a group of cis women talking about their lives.  Along the way, I also did most of our food ordering and used the women's room too. I even felt comfortable enough to add in my story of going with many of them years ago to see a physic in a group setting. He went around the room giving readings and when he got to me cross dressed in all my glory, he said he could see I was and will be going through some changes. Really? I was happy though my input was considered valuable enough for at least a polite chuckle and gave them all an idea of my life back then.

Overall, the best way I can describe last night... it was like getting my batteries recharged to move on with life.

Simply put, what really happened, was my ever present/lurking Mtf gender dysphoria was pushed to the back of my mentality for awhile.

That's a good thing of course.

I also just found out we are going out to a steakhouse Sunday to celebrate Liz's brother's birthday, weather permitting. So that should be fun too.

Crossing the Gender Frontier

Last night's cross dresser - transgender support group get together did provide a couple interesting moments.

One in particular was a new attendee. She was two years post op and nearly unrecognizable as having any kind of male past at all. It turned out she wasn't transgender or transsexual (if you will) but was an inter-sexed person. Her travel to finally get the State of Ohio to  force the insurance company to cover her surgery, was incredibly complicated, sad and included  an amazing amount of time in the courts. She claimed several years ago when this all happened, she was even accosted for it by bigots on the street.

As interesting as her story was, she got to me when she asked the group of approximately 16 people how many were interested in "transitioning all the way." Meaning of course having Genital Realignment Surgery. Which, by the way, is becoming much easier here in Ohio. New surgeons are coming on line in all the major cities and even insurance is becoming more available.

At first I almost said my transition is done according to her terms. But then I began to think it  isn't according to my ideas. You see, I don't have any desire at this time to have any kind of surgery outside of breast augmentation. It helps of course, I have a very supportive long term partner who fully accepts me as a trans woman.

I also, have my age (69) to think of ,as well as my gender dysphoria which continues to hang around. I believe it always will in one form or another. I can't see GRS relieving my dysphoria any time soon, so I guess I could say I will always be transitioning.

From cradle to grave.