Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

KER PLUNK! Did you hear yet another Sunday Edition hitting your virtual front porch? The "Joe" is hot and brewing on cool fall morning here in Ohio-so here we go!

Page 1.- The Week Which Was-or Wasn't.  Last week here in the Condo, we didn't particularly head down any new paths but we did revisit a couple older ones. One came compliments of an old cross dressing friend of mine who purged back in the 80's and professed a certain amount of pride while hiding a ton of frustration. At any rate he delighted again in one of the rare stories about a transgender woman who went through SRS, only to learn she wasn't trans at all.  Which resulted in a better comment from Michellewhois than mine!
It's bad enough for a woman trying to make a living while competing with men let along trying to maintain some sort of semblance of sanity with all the rest of what women have to contend with. The one thing that I am amazed at is the amount of people that publicly state they want to go back verses the amount that either just blend into the background or are never heard from again. That was a discussion I remember back in the early 90's with trans women, "To stealth or not to Stealth". Next time your friend brings the subject up ask how many people he is talking about and how many of them he knows personally. Also ask him how many he knows personally that have completed their journey and are very happy with their lives.

Thanks Michelle! Ironically he does know two who went through SRS. The one who was incredibly well adjusted and successful before and after in her life-he doesn't mention.  The one who most likely should have not done it, is always brought up.  She was very a much an A-listed bitch as a cross dresser and as we know you can't surgically remove that.  The two are interesting MtF studies in that they were similar in age, friends and could both blend easily into the world. 

As far as the "girl's sandbox" goes, I agree with Michelle that as soon as a potential "transitioner" comes to the conclusion a woman's' life is so much more than pretty clothes plus sugar and spice and everything nice...then it's time to move forward.

But, when you put the store bought vagina ahead of societal adjustments of living as a genetic-then the problems begin. 

Page 2.-  "Give us a Head of Hair!  Doesn't really matter which direction we take to get there-a wig or our own natural hair, in order to put our best look forward in society, we are in the same boat as any genetic and maybe even more so.  I'm guilty as charged of dearly loving my hair but constantly remind myself of how fortunate I am to possess it.  Of course I couldn't if I worked almost any of the jobs I had in my life.  Ironically my hair was like a dormant seed waiting to grow. With a little fertilization from HRT-grow it did!  I know though, most of you can't do what I did but still need to do the best you can with what you have to work with.  These days there are many on line sites which sell wigs-in expensively-which I don't trust as much as seeing a potential purchase up close and in person.  I know it takes an incredible amount of courage to find a wig shop and shop there, but...the last thing you want to happen to you is what I observed on the cross dresser in the mall so many years ago.  She had her presentation nailed in so many ways, except her neck hair (and neck) peeking out from a very ill fitting wig.

Page 3.- Another Damn Label?  Yep! It's mine kids, but feel free to use it.  I became tired of using expansive often wasteful energy using labels just as female, baby makers, women, genetic women etc- so now here in Cyrsti's Condo I am going to refer to a human born with a vagina as a "genetic." Yes I know there are females born "vagina less"  so no, you don't have to bring that up to me!

The Back Page.- Damn! I'm Old!  It's official-I'm 65.  As I look back, there were several constants. Along the way, some sort of guiding force wanted me to get here.  I try to thank and repay that force daily.

Finally, I envisioned this grand party in step with my past party lifestyle.  The problems were finding enough friends who were still alive  and -staying awake myself!

.    

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

A Cyrsti's Condo Vintage Female Impersonator

The beautiful female mimic/drag queen
Robbie Ross.

"Back in Black?"

Jen Smith sent in a comment on a Cyrsti's Condo post which went several different directions and ended up on wigs:

 Cyrsti, I *really* like how you look in the picture with the black hair!

With my my limited public exposure so far, I think I worry first about how my face is presenting, then the wig for sure is #2. 

But after I'm out in public, there isn't too much I can do to improve my makeup, so I found myself mildly obsessed with how my hair was looking. When we were out shopping I was constantly looking at reflections of myself in windows and store mirrors to see if it needed adjusting.

It's probably a lot worse for me as I've always kept my hair very short.

Excellent points Jen! (And thanks for the compliment!)  Ironically the wig colors were both very similar to my natural hair color, before the gray! On the other hand-my Mom's family was dominated by red heads.

I think becoming skilled enough to "match" my foundation makeup to my skin and then to a hair color was a very tough learning process.  Plus, as I started to go public more and began to build a stable feminine persona-switching wig styles and colors was not good for the process.

Like so many other cross dressers I too went down the "blond" route, which in itself is not bad.  Unless you try to go too blond like I did.  The "honey blond" which I will show you in an ancient picture worked well for me for years.

I too, did the mirror thing everytime I went out.  I did it for two reasons.  I was trying to reassure myself that was me in the reflection and did I look the best I could.  Many times I just gave up in disgust and went home-back to the drawing board.

Like you Jen, I kept my hair very short except for a brief time in the late 70's.  Growing up my brother and I always were subjected to crew cuts or burr hair cuts.  Even when I started college in 1968 at Muskingum and came home with hair touching my collar and ears the parents figured for sure I was a hippie. 

Combined with the blessing of having no male pattern baldness in my family, I think being forced to have short hair all those years benefits me now.  My hair has not had to endure a lifetime of being colored, styled, torched and permed like a genetic my age.

Finally Jen, indeed I may go back to the "darkside" this winter.  I still have those wigs around which Liz and I can judge the look.  One way or another, it's fun! Thanks again for the comment!

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

Our feature cover today is Miranda Lombardo MISS TRANS NACIONAL MÉXICO 2014.

Can You Ever Go Home?

I have a very old friend and dare I say a bit frustrated at times with his life in the closet as a cross dresser on occasion. Then it is time to "chat" with me and try to pick an argument.

I use the "frustrated" word with him because he seems to delight in passing along stories of so called transsexuals who "went the distance" and completed SRS-only wanting to return as close as possible to their birth gender.

By trade he is a retired engineer and is the stereotypical "connect the dots" style thinker.  Although he won't come out and actually say it to me, he believes very few sex changes are needed and/or work.

It's an interesting concept and one neither of us or perhaps anyone has a true statistical answer which would satisfy him.

Personally, I think it is inevitable some gender dysphoric people maybe aren't that at all and really don't get a strong enough dose of living in the girls sandbox to see what it is about.

Plus then there is that pesky age thing which haunts the genetics as well as us too.  Being that "young pretty thing" is out.  So I tell him not to go making "hero's" out of these people who want to go back to their birth gender.  They just made a mistake, certainly a big one but in his engineering world does he toss out a whole project if one out of a hundred parts comes back as defective?

At the least, it's an interesting discussion and being an extremely "gray thinker", I am constantly taking him places he doesn't want to go.  For example HRT - another of his pet peeves. Paraphrasing: Why would anyone embark on such a potentially dangerous path with no concrete results. At that point I have to jump in for him and connect his dots.  Potentially undergoing hormone replacement therapy does have concrete results and has a positive affect on the very high number of suicide attempts in the transgender community.

I can never get him to admit he is talking about me and my decision to go down the HRT pathway. Or, is he a little frustrated he purged himself into the closet in the 80's never to see the light of day again.

Probably I will never know.  I just hope he can finally connect some of his own dots and quit counting how much money he has around.

Speaking for me, I never want to go home again.  If my medically monitored hormones take some time off my life, so be it.  The alternative was worse.

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

Before you tip toe cautiously out of the closet, just remember this!

Where Did You Get Your Wig?

In my continuing saga of answering Missy's questions about my MtF transition path, a few I get on a weekly basis, a couple, every other week and finally others which I get frustrated with because of their frequency.

It's OK though.  One of her fondest repeats is when she sees the different sides of me, it is still me.  I know it's tough to explain to someone who knew me for nearly 30 years in my guy life, that between my ears I was never him.

Yesterday, to try to clarify, I pulled out the "mirror theory".  In other words, I know who I am now and to live it easier, a feminized version of my body makes the process easier.  In other words, I'm reflecting woman back to the world. But, to confuse her even more, on occasion I'm more of a gender fluid person.  Especially when I have to pull out my guy self from behind the curtain and insert him back into the game. Not unlike a puppet. I just know some of you are waiting to use the ventriloquist and dummy cheap shot!

2010

At this point,  I think I'm making a little headway with her (until she asks the same question next week.) Plus, while I am at this magical point, I try to go further in-depth and explain the impact of not having to not wear a wig.  Probably the most the one biggest positive of my HRT.. Whichever hair "Goddess" gifted me with all of this wavy, to the middle of my back hair- I will thank forever.

During the last several years since I went "wig-less" only a couple women have asked where I got my wig and they knew me through my "wig" years. They commented how "real" it looked and of course I said it is!

The best wig story I have comes from when I was in a gay venue watching a drag show some time ago and one of the performing drag queens came up and said, "I love your wig, honey."  In one of the rare moments I have ever seen a drag queen at a loss for words was when I said, "How do you know it is a wig, girlfriend!"  To the left you will see a 2010 "wigged" me (wigged out!).  I had two dark long wigs, the other was very straight.  Both seemingly were an "all or nothing" proposition.  Either I could get them on my noggin in a fairly decent matter - or I couldn't. More than once, I spent a night feeling totally uncomfortable because of my wig.

This whole subject is just another matter we share with the genetics. On Twitter I read recently a brief exchange asking where the editor of the xoJane site telling an inquiring reader-no, that is not a "Morticia Wig" she was wearing-it was her own hair. OOOPs! I wondered briefly if that was like asking a woman "when she is due" and she is not pregnant at all. Plus, lets not forget the upkeep required for your hair.
 
To the right is the last  picture taken of me in a wig and coincidentally is the one I was wearing when the drag queen commented to me.

Look, I do know how fortunate I am to be able to have and wear the hair I do.

I also know great wig ideas for novice cross dressers and beyond are available on Femulate .  Stana's style surely goes from head to toe!




.

Cyrsti's Condo "Gender Blender"

Stav Strashko

Boris Apfrel

The pretty pretty boys are back in town!