Females-or Women-Part Two

I received a comment from Sandra on one of the older posts here in Cyrsti's Condo which bears revisiting!

Here is how the post started:

REALLY?

"Ever since I can remember, I have been fascinated with the feminine gender.  As with many of you, it's difficult to explain the deep, deep yearning I had to be a woman.  Of course any success I have experienced in the transition process has been self taught and I wonder when I see genetic females who aren't women, I wonder why.

On the other hand, I just don't grasp how so many females have no idea or will power to be women.  Then again, a dear friend who passed away some time ago told me it seemed to her so many women weren't teaching their daughters to be...women. 

So maybe that's it. Where I live, we have an extremely high teen maternity rate. I know the stats reflect more than kids having kids and young females just being "baby makers". Self esteem and family conditions play into their lives too.

None of that takes away from the fact I don't understand why these females so easily toss chances to be women away.  Especially when I know so many transgender women who can't wait to get out of the closet and have their day in the sun."

Thanks Sandra! I can only add the urgency females all of the sudden show (to get back in the game) when all of the sudden they are competing in the world for a mate again.
Sandra wrote:


I also think it's a pity that so many women simply lost the joy of being women. In some cases I understand them: for some reason — genetics, hormones, work routine, impossible schedules, lack of time, too much to do — they cannot prevent their bodies to become so much unaligned with what they have in mind that they simply start neglecting their own selves. Ugly males can dress whatever they wish, so long as it's male clothes; ugly women believe they have the same right to do so.

My own wife is a typical example. When she gains weight, loses her job, and basically is stuck playing games on the computer at home, she neglects herself completely. But then she gets a job, or goes back to university, and suddenly her self-esteem gains a boost! She throws her old clothes away, starts eating regularly, sheds her excess weight, goes to the hairdresser, even shaves her legs, and starts a new wardrobe. Suddenly she glorifies in being a woman again! The last time this happened, she even let me paint her nails for her — the first time I saw her with painted nails since we met at a Halloween dinner, 17 years ago!

So I think it really has a lot to do about self-esteem. Confident women will take care of their image, because they enjoy it. Depression and low self-esteem will make them lose all interest in the way they look.

Finally, I'm guessing, being a woman at the least is probably a "nurtured" response, brought on by peer pressure etc. Not unlike we trans women-who are "stuck" with how we were born and nurtured into a society we didn't fit in to.

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

Our cover feature today is the gorgeous transsexual Mtf woman Susany Biancco. 

Pre Pride Post Two

Well, today marks the end of a crazy thirty days or so in my life. During the time, I managed to finally publish "Stiletto's on Thin Ice", attend the Trans Ohio Symposium (and present a work shop) jump genders for my family once and let's not forget- a couple of mammograms tossed in.

TGLBQ Pride day today marks the end of my current attempt to catch my tail here in Columbus, Ohio. Pat sent in a comment which rang true to me, for probably the wrong reasons. The comment was another which went into "never-never" land the other day, but paraphrased she (Pat) said something to the effect of me being the "lone transgender woman" in the crowd.  My first reaction was "Wow! I hope not."  Then, as I started to think about it, Pat was right to speculate I may be the only "out and visible" trans woman. Realistically, I'm sure everyone I run into is not going to think I was born genetic.  Just as realistically, do I expect a stealth attractive transgender woman coming up to me to chat?  No.  Would I venture a guess and start a conversation with a person I thought was a transgender woman? Probably not.

Plus, as I have said a number of times, after the parade is over today, my friends and I will be headed to lesbian venues- which brings up a whole different dynamic.  As you know, I do have some experience partying with lesbians and in my view, pretty much go out of their way to steer clear of another woman they perceive to be in a partnership.  On the other hand, since I have been forced into action as one of my friend's wing girl I'm beginning to understand the basics of the hunt.  On a very few occasions, when I was left unattended I became the hunt-only I think because I bring more than a little spice to the adventure. (It's also rumored I am a HUGE flirt.)

So Pat, I'm afraid you could be right. I will say the Trans Ohio group (who will have a presence in the parade) is becoming stronger and more organized all the time but so far they still are dominated by trans men-which is good by me.  Many of who I perceive to be trans women in the organization still don't make eye contact with me.  But, if I go back not so long ago, I wouldn't make eye contact with me either.

Plus, there is the age card.  However you want to cut it, the age difference in those young trans women I may meet is a major problem.  Outside of gender preference, we just don't share much.

As far as those entitled cis gay males and drag queens go - no harm no foul-unless someone calls me the Tr---gender slur!

The way it's looking, I am writing this Friday, posting it Saturday and will get back with all of you hopefully Sunday!

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

Our cover feature today is Brazilian transgender beauty Isabelle Coimbra!

Mo Hooters?

I did search all over the place for extra cross dresser "Hooter" girls the other day and of course I'm finding them now when I'm not looking.

If you don't know, the "Hooter's" chain is renown for it's server "uniform's" and even over the years have been challenged by men to work there- I think as guys. You can bet though, as in any occupation which demands attractive women for it's work force, there have to be more than a few embedded stealth transgender women. For years, the most beautiful blond stripper in Dayton, Ohio was heavily rumored to have been trans.  By those who would know.

Going to a Halloween party as a "Hooter Girl" would be as similar to going as a cheerleader as you can get...only more fun. You don't have to worry about heels wrecking your feet all night long and shake your booty in your tennis shoes!  (No I haven't done it, all though years ago I did quickly shop for a top in one of their units and couldn't find a size.)

I haven't been to one of their "testosterone" injected environments for years but "back in the day" you could buy much of their uniform sets in the stores...or on line.

Don't know if you still can...but "Stephanie" (above) probably does!

It's Never Easy

My friends just love to call me cheap and easy but I know most of the time one doesn't apply-I think?

By the time I finished my second mammogram today, I ruled both of them out.

First of all, the good news.  After getting told my breasts were dense (like my noggin), I was told this time the procedure was going to be a "bit" more painful.  The nurse put the pressure on - and yes, I got crushed. But it was worth it because I was given a clean bill of health and sent on my way. With no ultra sound!

Those of you who haven't been through any HRT (like I used to be) believe me, any extra pressure to your breasts can be painful.

Today was my second time around with the same nurse and she was very cool about the whole procedure. On the first go around of course I was very sensitive about the size of my breasts to start with-not to mention having to "bare it all" to her.  She put me at ease by saying I would be surprised by the women she see's who have "less than me."

When I went today, she said "take your top and bra off."  I said "what if I wasn't wearing one?  She said no problem, a lot of women don't.  Quite frankly, in this hot humid weather, having enough breast development to show but not enough to wear a bra isn't such a bad deal.

So, that is pretty much how this episode of doing this gender transition thing went down.

Like the great philosopher "Randy Macho-man Savage" said, "If it ain't tough, it ain't worth it."-or did he?

Having Your Cake and Not Eating It Too?

Yesterday here in Cyrsti's Condo, we featured a sissy boy being "forced" to look for a job at the famous "Hooter's" chain of wing and beer places.

Today it's time for a dessert as only drag queen Manila Luzon could serve it up!

Pride?

This weekend, three of my friends and I are attending the TGLBQ Pride march and party in Columbus, Ohio.

As I continue to mention, Columbus is a very diverse city and the event promises to be well attended.  True to form, for the past month or more I have spent a considerable amount of "noggin" time, trying to come up with where I wanted to fit it.

It's not easy.

The gay and lesbian communities have much to be proud of.  Both were instrumental in breaking down discrimination barriers  and more they faced.  Plus the drag queens can look back with pride at their huge role in the Stonewall riots in 1969. All of the history is great but the fact remains- we transgender woman and men are not understood and left out.

Are the "Bi's" left out too? Then again, who exactly are the "Bi's"? The only potential peeps in this category I have ever met are the fetish cross dressers who will only have sex with another man if he is dressed as a she? And, if I still considered myself a cross dresser-fetish or not, would I feel any sort of pride if I went to Pride?  I'm pretty sure I would from the simple fact for a whole day I could express my gender as I saw fit. Plus, as a matter of fact, Pride events are much more cost effective for those who can not afford an event such as "Provincetown".(Fantasia Fair-below)


And, how about those lesbians?  The three friends I'm going with are all lesbians and two are pretty much clueless when I complain of transgender discrimination.  I just know I feel comfortable with them and the lesbian venues we will be going too.  I have always found their company to be the most natural for me to fit into to.  If I had to guess though, I'm thinking the three are going to party first and then be proud!

Where does all of that leave me as a transgender woman in the crowd?  I feel guilty.  I want the world to know I am trans and proud-as I am but, if I can blend in with the lesbians and party-I want to be there too. The fun part about the day is I will be able to dress down appropriately for a hot, humid Ohio summer day and enjoy being transgender.

For one of the first times in my life, I don't have to fit into yet another set of molds...this time from the gay/lesbian community.

We Almost Had Mail!

I don't know what "glitch" I had here in the Crysti's Condo this afternoon, but it managed to chew up and completely destroy a couple of your comments.

As you all know how much I value your ideas and in fact I did reply to a couple and poof! they were gone!

Two came from Pat and were rather interesting in how totally I disagreed with her. On the one about the Wow! post - I was able to go back in and delete my comment since Pat's didn't post at all. It's only fair to not paraphrase her comments if I don't have them.



The others were comments about the DMV folks who wouldn't let Chase Culpepper present his external gender anyway he wanted. One wanted to throw the kid under the bus because the DMV folks were nasty anyway-anywhere, but another was an extremely insightful one.  She said, isn't the whole episode similar to the age old double standard of girls allowing to be "tom boys" and boys not being allowed to be "tom-girls." Can you imagine one of the "jolly" DMV clerks telling a grumpy woman she looked like hell and better go put on makeup for her picture?

It's a different story here in Ohio where the DMV's were "privatized" years ago.  When I went into renew my license the last time years ago, it was the day after my first visit to the hair salon.  The woman paused for a second and then shrugged and took a very androgynous picture of me for my license since I wasn't seeking a name or gender marker change anyway-the same as Chase.  The DMV simply gets a share of every license plate or ID they process.  So it's "show me the money!"

Finally, Mandy sent in a couple comments that did make it about my second mammogram and ultra sound tomorrow. She was kind enough to fill me in on the actual procedure.

Deep down I believe from the time we are born until the time we die, our lives are built on different new experiences.  My latest new experience will hopefully mean nothing more than a clean bill of health.

One way or another though, the total and complete irony of it will not be lost on me.