Blasting Cyrsti's Past

Along with everything else which is happening around here in Cyrsti's Condo, we are also coming up on another year anniversary with this monumental effort!

Here's a repost from July 25th, 2013-


Yesterday I was invited to a quick lunch with my daughter and 12 year old grand daughter. Both of know of my transgender status so the day was sort of special. On the other hand, I'm doing some of the most butch hard labor I can do on my house, repairing a brick wall. I hate it but I have been literally been putting it off for years and the unseasonably cool summer weather we have now makes it a "must do project". I suppose I will lose a couple much needed pounds in the process. So, I am a little short of time to post to Cyrsti's Condo. I learned some time ago, when in doubt, go to the archives and came up with this post from 10/5/2011 and just so happens to include my daughter and an appointment at the Veterans Administration: "Today had to be my best birthday ever! My third visit to the VA therapist seeking a hormone permission letter was late in the afternoon. As I got ready to meet my daughter for a birthday breakfast, I received a text from a long time female friend who I have progressively come out to over the past couple months. She wished me a good birthday and a positive trip to the "Doc" which meant a lot! 

My breakfast with my daughter was very different. Almost immediately she asked me if I knew one of the performers in one of the top drag queen acts in the area. They are known as the "Rubi Girls" based out of Dayton, Ohio. As it turns out I had seen their act (impressive) and actually knew one of the performer's employees. As surprising as this was, more surprising was the fact I was having the conversation with her at all. The rest of the breakfast was equally as good and I'm still not sure how I did so well in the daughter department. On to the therapist appointment. We exchanged the usual "how's life" questions before I asked the magic question: "what reservations did she have about writing a permission letter?" She didn't hesitate and said she expected the question and pulled a file folder off her desk The folder contained the "Harry Benjamin Gender Dysphoria Care Standards". As we went through the highlights it seemed I met most all of the criteria. (I'm not exactly sure anyone but Harry understood them all.) She was very positive and said she would like to take one more step before writing the letter. The step was a final consultation about me with a very experienced gender specialist in Columbus. Ironically she is the same person I went to for help over 20 years ago. I know "nothing is over until it's over" but I'm cautiously optimistic I will have the letter in two weeks at my next visit. My last (but far from least) stop of the day was a lite dinner date with a GF down in Cincinnati. 

Without getting too personal, it was a wonderful ending to a special day. On the trip home I was going pinch myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming but I have a real aversion to pain and just made sure I wasn't driving up I-75 in a dream. I can guarantee you I-75 between Dayton and Cincinnati, Ohio is no place to be dreaming behind the wheel and I wasn't. The day was all so real and so wonderful! And now it's back to reality and my bricks. Dammit, not good for the nails!

Cyrsti's Condo "Vintage Female Impersonators."

Ever consider when and why the name went from "Female Impersonators" to "Drag Queens"?  Check the vintage girls like Baby Martell and you will know why!

A Blast from the Past

As I was "cramming" to get another chapter of my "Stiletto's on Thin Ice" book completed today, I was working on a section with a very unremarkable name- "Transition."  I have always wondered how each of us seemed to have our own personal "switch" as we decided to go down this road.  Some stayed as cross dressers and others went the route to SRS.  Why?

I'm certainly not smart enough to figure it out but do have assumptions like everyone else.  Today, as I was remembering back to the early Tri-Ess meetings I went to in the late 1970's, what I observed and how I thought I fit with the others around me.  Ironically, it's still tough to figure it out. Finally, I came to the conclusion that somewhere along the line back then, I walked two separate paths.  One path was living in the mirror as a girl and the other was more of a complex look into how a genetic woman lived.  I remembered too, the cross dressers in the room who I called the "A Listers". The small group just knew they were the most attractive critters in the room and they were.  Something was strangely missing though from how they acted. Sort of like you left the pepper out of your favorite recipe.  They just weren't real.  

Also,  there were always a couple of women attending who for all the world looked like one of the genetic spouses who came along but they weren't. Transgender or transsexual terms were just beginning to slip in to our vocabulary and it took me decades to get it through my thick noggin' - that was them.   The "A listers" on the other hand, went over the top to look the part but just quite couldn't tap into their feminine side-because there wasn't any.  I knew one in particular who (as she called it) went down the slippery slope of beginning electrolysis, hormones and then even SRS.  She turned out to be beautiful- but miserable.

So, I don't know, maybe for what ever reason, she never progressed past the mirror side of being feminine into the real world?  I think I did for a couple of reasons.  The most important one was my wife kept chiding me for knowing nothing about being a woman.  Never one to back away from a challenge, I began to do it which leads me to my second point.  When I did check out the "other side" I liked it a lot and it felt real.  

My problem was I could see both paths from the one I was on which led to the tremendous gender turmoil I experienced.  Being more stubborn than smart led me to do the natural male thing-internalize and fight.  I never do much crying over the past but the historian in me tells me there were certain points I really could have learned from.  Talking with the "real girl's" at the Tri Ess Meetings would have been soooo much more beneficial than wishing I could be an "A-lister."

In a companion post, we will discuss what determines how badly you want to flip the gender switch.

Mama Mia!!!

A cross dresser video from Italy on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen:

Cyrsti's Condo "What If?"

Think our wives will notice if we sneak into the beer fest dressed like this?

Cyrsti's Condo "What If?"

Hey! it's the only damn way we can get the kid to clean his room!

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day

If I Knew I was going to Get this Old-I would have taken Better Care of myself!

Cyrsti Hart

Trans Ohio Symposium

By now, I'm sure you have read me mention the 6th Annual Trans Ohio Symposium which is coming up Friday May 30th, Saturday and Sunday June 1st. Again this year I am a workshop presenter and could be a little biased (hell no! )  but the organizers have really stepped their game up this year with workshops and more from last year.

Transgender athlete Kye Allums (left) is going to be the keynote speaker this year and he only scratches the surface of the weekend as you can see in this link.


Then, follow this link to find out more about the ticket prices if you live in the area.  It's in Columbus, Ohio and this year will be held at The Ohio State University.

"T" Words?

We seem to embrace an inordinate amount of "T" words.  Transgender, transsexual, transvestite and of course "tr__ny."  On the Femulate blog yesterday, Stana, wrote a post backing the word "tr__ny.   I left a comment there but (being me) I felt the need to follow up on it here in Cyrsti's Condo.

First of all, I need to be very careful how I respond as I get very passionate about this subject. (I know you regulars are laughing now and Liz is saying-Damn Cyrsti and those HRT hormones!) So, my disclaimer is I don't mean to hurt anyone's feelings.

If I had to guess, and of course I will-. I would speculate those who have no problem with the word are older cross dressers from the transvestite days we all grew up in.  Also, girls in other countries, primarily Paula in the UK have said the Tr__ny word has a different social connotation there.I can't speak to that. What I can speak to is this:  is how I am perceived when I go to TGLBQ meetings.  Remember the experience of my first "Equality Springfield" Meeting (where I live) and I introduced myself as the only transgender woman in Springfield? Seriously if I had introduced myself as a tr__ny the other members would have wondered what drag show I was performing in that week.  Sure "Tr__ny is only a word but it's a powerful one in the meetings I have been to and I know there are those of you who say it's only a label-who cares.  I do- when I am trying to educate people to who I am.  It's like encouraging a third grader to use the "N" word for the black kids in class.

Equality Springfield Ohio Marching at Pride last summer.

Perhaps too,  it's because these people are fighting for rights all of us should have already had, such as the right not to be fired for being trans or a cross dresser, housing, rest rooms, health care and more.  I'm throwing the stone in my own glass house here. I was as deeply closeted as I could be for decades because I knew I would lose my job-transvestite, tr__ny or what.

What has happened is the transgender word has taken on more significance because transphobic members of the gay and straight community have pushed "tr__ny into being a gender slur.  For that reason alone I consider it the same as the "N" or "F" word because I have had it used on me.

It took me a long time to get here, but when I go to Trans Ohio and the upcoming Pride events-I want the world to know I'm different. I'm not a "tr__ny vet" but a transgender vet and I'm sure I will see the queens and my cross dressing cousins enjoying themselves too as they should but I am not them either.  Like it or not "tr__ny" ties me in with them.   All I'm asking really is simple- I think it's a slur and don't use it on me.  In a land of free speech though, call yourself anything you want!

I love you all!