Somewhere Over the Rainbow

It's tough enough if you don't fit neatly into the gender binary and even tougher if you have a family who doesn't support you.

This morning (Tuesday) NBC's The Today Show had a short feature on a family who does support their young son's desire to be gender non conforming. 

Perhaps you have heard of Lori Duron's blog called Raising my Rainbow.  Now she has written a book and here's a preview:



"Raising My Rainbow is Lori Duron’s poignant, heart-breaking, and at times hysterical memoir of her and her family’s adventures of raising a gender creative child. Whereas her older son Chase is a Lego-loving, sports-playing boy’s boy, her youngest son C.J. would much rather twirl around in a pink sparkly tutu, with a Disney Princess in each hand, singing Lady Gaga’s “Paparazzi.” C.J. is gender variant or gender nonconforming, whichever you prefer. Whatever the term, Lori has a boy who likes girl stuff; really likes girl stuff. He floats on the gender variation spectrum from super-macho-masculine on the left all the way to super-girly-feminine on the right. He’s not all pink and not all blue. He’s a muddled mess or a rainbow creation. Lori and her family choose to see the rainbow."

I just love the gender creative term!

I'm sure if you check your television listings, Lori will have the opportunity to tell her family's story on other shows you can look for plus the book is available everywhere.

Of importance this morning was the point made that a great majority of kids don't have a family system such as "C.J.'s".  We can always hope Lori Duron's efforts will open so many more!

Nearly One Year Ago!

Transgender model and entertainer Huong Giang from Vietnam made a bold statement for transgender women and men everywhere when she came out approximately a year ago:

She came out live during Vietnam Idol as a transgender woman on Thursday September 6, 2012.

That's a LOT of Beer!

From the LGBTQNation: and the Oregonian:

 A Portland bar owner has been ordered to pay about $400,000 to a group of transgender patrons he banned from his establishment last year. The Bureau of Labor and Industries civil rights division imposed the penalty against Chris Penner, owner of the Twilight Room Annex.

The Twilight Room Annex, formerly branded as the P Club. Eleven people will share in the penalty, with amounts ranging from $20,000 to $50,000. It’s the first penalty imposed under the 2007 Oregon Equality Act, which protects the rights of gays, lesbians, bisexual and transgender Oregonians in employment, housing and public places. Some other complaints ended in settlements.

 The bureau’s civil rights division began investigating the bar formerly known as The P Club last year after owner Chris Penner left a voice message for one of the T-Girls, a social group for transgender people that went to the bar on Friday nights. According to the complaint filed with the bureau, the message said: “People think that a.) We’re a tranny bar, or b.) We’re a gay bar. We are neither. People are not coming in because they just don’t want to be here on a Friday night now.”

Lesson learned?

We Got Mail!

It seems my comment about the "immoral right" in our country stirred some emotion.

As always, my thoughts do not carry to my written word well at times.

First of all, I feel politics and issues now can be compared with sex and gender- each are so different. To me, issues are what effects my life as a citizen and politics have become way for special interest groups to bully the true issues.

Look, I'm old. I have seen a comedy of errors from both political parties. I'm ashamed to explain to my grand kids how my generation did and still does contribute to such a mess. All in all though, what does any of that have to do with the immoral right, left or center? Everything, then again nothing.

The immoral right I was referring to resides in the pulpits of local preachers spouting an endless stream of homo or transphobic hate,  or behind the microphones of Rush Limbaugh or the camera's of Fox News. One could argue the immoral right has simply utilized the polarizing voices of politics and religion to be the most vocal bully on the block. Misinformation and fear have always been powerful tools in any hands.

So there you go.  I never wanted to talk politics here in Cyrsti's Condo but I did and do. It's important to to take a stand and it's important for all of you to do the same. The problem is, the complex issues facing us have no easy answer and no dynamic leadership to offer us clear cut hope.

The true tragedy occurs when we can't talk about it!

Please go here to see the comments!

Seven Mini Skirt Reveals

From Rocket24 and the Cyrsti's Condo archives:

"The Seven Things Our Male Reporter Realized After Wearing a Mini Skirt":


"To most men, nothing is sexier than a cute girl in a miniskirt. However, for most girls, few things are more irritating than constantly having to pull down that miniskirt that keeps riding up after every stride, and constantly having to make sure your lady parts aren’t on show for the world to see. Our male reporter, Hatopon, who is no stranger to cross dressing, tried on a miniskirt to see what it’s like. The following is a list of the things he realized after wearing a miniskirt for the first (but probably not last) time in his life."

Go here for more.


I would only add, wearing a mini skirt is a curious blend of feminine power and vulnerability.

Labored Day

Hard to believe but the last summer holiday of 2013 is rapidly drawing to an end.

My Labor Day this year is bittersweet in many ways.  Over the past 8 years or so, I've been instrumental in setting up and running a food concession at an historical reenactment. In essence, historical drag.  At the beginning of all of this of course I was younger and the whole two day event proved to be very fun and very profitable.  As with everything else over the years, things change.

To make a long story short, this very strong attachment to my past life is almost over, and it's time.  I've become a believer that Mamma Karma leads us in more than a couple ways.  Shock and awe- in what she can do in a short period of time is one and an even push in the back is another.  She pushed me this time to a point where even I can see the writing on the wall, in no uncertain terms.

The good part is my daughter's family (including grand kids) have an opportunity to continue this venture if they desire and there is a huge waiting list for any kind of a spot in this festival. The other plus is I don't have to worry again about any connections to a previous life and gender which is shrinking in my rear mirror.

The irony isn't lost on me either.  After 33+ years in the restaurant business, all of the summer holidays were no fun.  Often I worked all of them and they were extremely difficult to staff and plan for. Good weather you were slow and bad weather you were busy.  The rule of thumb was your guests were aggravated the last day of the weekend because they had to go back to work and the crew because they had to work it. Not a match made anywhere close to heaven.

So here I am, working the last summer day holiday of the season in the food business for the last time.  Plus it is the last hurrah for my life as be all do all male in that business.

Should I shed a tear? Perhaps, but then again, it's true that an end is just a new beginning and to be sure the tears may have flowed a bit as I wrote this.

I have to finish this though with one well worn line from my business past: the bottom line is "can the drama queen" effects Cyrsti,  this beginning happened a long time ago and the future looks so bright I have to wear shades!

Halloween Idea!

"Transgressive"

Any of you who have spent anytime around Cyrsti's Condo know I'm a transgender veteran and a huge fan of trans vet Autumn Sandeen.  Autumn is always modest enough to play down her role as a transgender veteran trail blazer within the VA. But she IS and uniquely qualified to speak on navigating the VA system. Often very different than "civilian health care".

Recently she wrote a post called Transgressive Health Care for the San Diego LGBT Weekly, centering of course on the VA and trans vets. Here's an excerpt:

"Even though I’m a kind and joy-filled person, I’m always prepared to deal with inappropriate comments or behavior from the government-employed health care services workers. I’m always ready to ask why a medical doctor, nurse or technician’s bigotry is getting in the way of treating a veteran with respect to their service. Yet, I’ve never had even one treat me with anything but the purest of professionalism at the Veterans Health Care Administration (VHA) or at the Navy Medical Center, and I’ve never had to challenge anyone on their bigoted speech or behavior.
Here in San Diego, I just haven’t experienced that kind of inappropriate behavior. That I’ve never had difficulties with those who provide health care services to veterans, that I’ve never had anything but positive experiences with those health care professionals, actually makes me a bit proud of those VHA and of those Navy Medical Center, San Diego employees. Here in our city, these folk have all served me as a retired and disabled service member with honor, respect and professionalism."

I agree with Autumn's description of the system. My VA center (Dayton, Ohio) is probably much smaller in scope than some. Because of that my only problems have come from Dayton not having a full time endocrinologist in the center.  I had to get permission to go outside the system.  My dealings with the people have been remarkable. I do know that all you trans vets do not have the same story.

Autumn's latest post was very important to me as it describes her experiences with a mammogram. You can read it by following the link above. A mammogram needs to be in my future because my maternal grandmother died from breast cancer.

Not that I'm surprised but when she went in for the mammogram, the questions such as "when was your last period" or " how many times have you been pregnant" , had no other options than a number.  By the time she left though Autumn had voiced her concerns about not including options for transgender or intersex persons and she was getting the form changed.

Indeed I probably will face the same issues with the intake form when I go for a mammogram and I will make the same suggestions.

In my own small way, my goal is to try to change the system for the future.  From the way it's looking, there could be many more trans vets coming soon!

I Loved Mud!

In my youth, the term "mud roller" was yet another term for certain girls that would...well...roll in the mud with you. Or so we thought.

Over the years, I became an admirer of mud rolling girls from afar. They carried a mix of independence, plus a touch of bad and a whole lot of attitude!

During all my pre transition relationships over many years, I was never able to really get to know a "roller" up close and personal. Oddly though, I always thought that deep down inside she was part of my soul.

She began to manifest herself in public during some of my earliest cross dresser meetings. Normally, I was the only non genetic girl there without a skirt or dress - much to the curiosity of the other participants. The comment was "I can wear pants all week long. Why would I want to wear them now?"  True, but as I came to realize, I wasn't cross dressing. I was expressing myself. I just didn't need the hose and heels to feel feminine. Jeans and boots were just fine!

Finding her wasn't easy.   But along the way, the more I transitioned the more the "roller" hung around for the ride and was very persistent today!

Here's what happened:


Approximately a week ago, I passed along a new fashion site I had discovered called Free People . I subscribed to their site and this morning on the first email I received, up pops a real live "mud roller" model.  Since a picture is worth a thousand words, I thought I would pass her picture along here in Cyrsti's Condo! (above right)