Bra Ban Bucket List

Have you read the Milwaukee bra ban has been lifted and now the city is busting out? Or were they just a bunch of boobs anyhow?
OK, enough already! First, here is part of the story from Yahoo News:

"The Milwaukee bra ban has been lifted, which means these articles of underwear can hang from the rafters once again at a local bar. Bras were banned in Milwaukee, but this didn't mean the town was full of women bouncing along the sidewalk, the bra ban only pertained to a bar. This unique drinking establishment is a place where bras dangle off the ceiling as a tradition that has gone on for about a half of a century, according to the Inquistr on May 18, 2013. The Holler House, an establishment that's been in operation for about 100 years, began a tradition about 45 years ago, where women started filling up the ceiling with bras."

I can now rest easier! The bra ban was certainly one of my top topics to worry about along with the North Koreans and global warming.

Actually, I have been to a couple taverns where bra "tossing" was not banned. (Is that some sort of Constitutional Amendment in Ohio?) Women had the right to vote and to wear a bra in a bar? Wow! My take on it always was "damn, I wish I was the one tossing my bra". Or I really would love a set of breasts like hers for my own! Plus, I was checking out the collection of bras hanging from the ceiling to get an idea of what style I wanted to own. The guys I was drinking with were trying to figure out how to get a woman out of some of the bras and I was trying to figure out how to get into the bra.

Well, of course I didn't and had two problems-the first was having natural boobs and the know how to get the bra off under my top- which women seem to learn as a rite of adolescence. The effect would have definitely lessened if my silicone breast forms had hit the floor in the Holler House! OOPS! Then there would have been some "hollering"!

Well, years later HRT is beginning to solve problem #1 and problem #2 turned to be one of those feminine mystic issues which wasn't so difficult to master. Some would argue all the time I should have spent in a straight jacket would have prepared me for a Harry Houdini style escape from a bra.

Congratulations to all you transgender and transsexual women in Milwaukee. The right to wear or not wear your bra in a bar must be truly intoxicating (or is that the beer?). I just have to think though some of you girls can't wait to show off those breasts of yours under that tight T-shirt!

You know what the girls say "if you got it...flaunt it!" Someday I want to get to a point where I can take my frilly bra off at the bar somewhere and add it to the collection!

A Television "TV" Classic

I know, A bad take off on the old transvestite / T.V. pun but this classic video of beautiful female impersonator Micheal Andrews is anything but but bad and sure fire pick for the Cyrsti's Condo big screen. It's from one of the several "Mike Hammer" shows produced over the years. This one is with Stacy Keach:

Cross Dressing Anime

After finding this "Top 5: Favorite Cross Dressers / Gender Benders in Anime list, I tossed aside the idea I don't get out much...well at least that's not true on the web.

I knew cross dressing was relatively wide spread in Anime, but I had never seen a list or explanations. Here is my favorite of the five, number two on their list:

"2. Mariya Shidou (Maria Holic) Okay, so this one surprised me the first time around. I don’t know how many people watch Maria Holic (or have heard of it), but Mariya Shidou is actually a boy cross-dressing in order to attend a prestigious all-girl’s high school. His grandmother was the original chairman of the school and, for exact reasons I won’t reveal here, the only way for him to follow her legacy is by attending the school himself. It takes a lot of guts to attend an all-girl’s school just to become chairman. Props for that. But the craziest part about all this is that Mariya’s disguise is so perfect that he becomes the ideal type for the lesbian protagonist, Kanako Miyamae. Twist! Why do I love this character? Because although he has the face of an angel, he is as sinister as the devil and finds enjoyment torturing the poor Kanako in his free time. Kanako just can’t resist his feminine charms, even when she knows his chest is fake. Mariya is a killer beauty, but he has determination! Nothing, not even attending an all-girl’s school, will stop him from becoming chairman!"

I love the site bio too:


"Population GO is made up of a team passionate about geek and otaku culture. Our goal is to entertain, inform, and most importantly, provide GO content to those who share the same love and appreciation. This is a place for geeks, otaku, nerds, fanboys and fangirls alike."

Go here for more!

Boy Meets Girl Movie

As you may have concluded, certainly Cyrsti wasn't going to pass along just any old pull out the chocolate chip ice cream and a box of tissues chick flick on our Condo big screen. This movie is actually about a young transgender woman...played by a transgender actress! Such a radical idea!!!!

"Trans Victim" Revisit

I am fortunate to have received quite a bit of intelligent feedback on the "Victim" post here in Cyrsti's Condo and from outside friends. The post actually came from Helen Boyd's "En Gender" blog.

 The first comes from Paula Gee: " It's simply not fair, especially if we were misguided enough not to tell our wives about our selves before marriage. Yes any form a trans activity is selfish, and we have to understand that and deal with it."

The second from Reasonablynoble:

"As much as I've always included my spouse in my transition, it is an inherently narcissistic process. We spend so much time not focusing on ourselves that by the time we do this, we are wholly fascinated by our selves. It's hard to avoid navel gazing. At the same time, there are other people in my life and I have always been mindful about how my healing has both been a positive and negative for them. This is a healing process and it can, ultimately, make things better for everyone around us."

I'm agreeing with both and using my past and current relationships as a guideline. For whatever reason, misguided or not I told my second wife of 25 years I was a transvestite or cross dresser before we were married. So I didn't tell the truth.  As I think about it, if you put me under oath I would swear to the fact I knew there was probably something deeper going on with my gender identification but I was prepared to do my best to not follow it.

On the other hand, my current female lover is sure total love transcends gender and I'm fairly certain holds my deceased wife's views against her in someways. But it's not that easy and as wonderful as she is, I remind her she "caught up" with me after a ton of life experience and she is lucky. I knew who I was when we met.  Because as both of the ladies above mentioned, the cross dressing  through identifying as transgender or transsexual is, a hugely selfish process. Certainly,  for obvious reasons, we are fascinated by ourselves. I was no different.

The negative as Reasonably said "We spend so much time not focusing on ourselves that by the time we do this, we are wholly fascinated by our selves."  So,  if we can't or don't share ourselves with others- we are only a reflection in the mirror and doomed to a damned lonely existence. As you can see on Flickr or any number of other picture sites so many of us never get out of the mirror or the camera. Those who finally make it into the "real" world are naturally stunted. Not unlike the boy who was raised by wolves. My "anti mirror" friend examples are Drake and Stana who positively light up the room with their chance to live as their real gender.

In recent years as I jumped from my mirror into the world, I acquired a pedestal. You may have read me refer to it here. Sure, experiences such as developing a circle of friends, HRT  and the such are fantastic. BUT none of it makes me any better-or worse in the trans community.  I certainly have to constantly reevaluate where my life is, where I would love it to go and how precarious my "pedestal" really is. It's STILL  just as easy for me to be a victim as the frustrated cross dresser in the closet or the bitter transsexual who discovers SRS wasn't what she really wanted.

Of course I'm not smart enough to come up with an answer. I have been fortunate to have known all sort of peeps who revolve in and out of our culture from a long time friend who will go to any extent to rationalize purging his cross dressing "habit" 25 years ago because of wife and money to unhappy transsexuals to everyone in between.

Every once in a while though someone like Helen Boyd and Betty are able to put a little more perspective to the issue.

I am smart enough to know surgery is the end result to a successful gender transition not the beginning.

Well, this post has gone on so long I should be passing out cookies and milk to all of you here in Cyrsti's Condo.

Maybe I should consider a post called "The Transsexual as a Victim" when I really want to get ganged up on!!!!

Transgender Spouses in the Military

Seemingly, when it rains it pours with posts concerning transgender veterans and their interaction when serving on active duty and after they are discharged.

You regulars here in Cyrsti's Condo know I am a transgender Viet Nam era veteran of the U.S Army, so of course I have a very active interest in all the happenings.

Another very active source for news is Out Serve Magazine and in particular Brynn Tannehill who writes:

"In the past few months, same sex military partners have been part of the collective American conversation. When the Fort Bragg Spouse’s Club resorted to naked discrimination and active condescension to keep Ashley Broadway out, it was splashed all over the news. When Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta extended as many benefits as possible to married same sex partners under the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), the LGB community celebrated. When the Supreme Court heard oral arguments on the constitutionality of Article III of DOMA, the plight of same sex military couples was front and center in the reasons for striking the law down. However, as all this was going on, I realized that another situation has gone unmentioned. What happens when the spouse of a military person is transgender? Some might argue that this is a very rare situation, and doesn’t need attention. However, my recent interactions with a number of transgender people associated with the military say that this situation is far more common than people realize.

A few weeks ago a trans woman in the Dayton area sent me a message asking me if I remembered a female colonel I worked for while I was still on active duty. I did, and replied that I liked her because she generally had a good read on who everyone in the command was and what they were doing. What she wrote next blew my mind. “She came out as a lesbian after she retired in 2008. We’re married now.” A little further digging revealed that they had met and gotten married after the trans woman had transitioned. However, because of military regulations and DOMA, the trans woman did not have base access, Tricare, or any of the other benefits the spouse of a retired colonel would normally have. In short, the military regards them as a same sex couple. But my marriage is regarded as a heterosexual one because I transitioned after we were married, even though in both cases we are trans women married to another woman.

At about the same time, I also spoke with a trans man in the military. He talked about the difficulties he and his boyfriend, a civilian trans man who lives in Washington DC, expect if they get married. Another situation that came up in discussion recently was a trans woman (MTF) I know who is closeted, but on active duty. She is married to a trans man (FTM) who is just starting transition. When the trans man civilian spouse went to medical to start hormone therapy, they refused to treat him unless his spouse came in and verified that she knew what was happening and approved.

Given all of these situations, figuring out which marriages the government will regard as gay or straight is a mind boggling exercise in one of the grayest areas of law. In the case of the retired colonel, the marriage is gay, but only because the trans woman transitioned before the marriage and wasn’t born in Idaho, Ohio, Tennessee, or Texas (where birth certificate gender changes are not legally allowed). However, the two trans men may or may not be a gay marriage, depending if the one in DC changed his SSN gender marker before or after they got married. The trans woman in the military married to a trans man is a heterosexual couple, but the trans man can’t change his gender in DEERS because of DOMA."

In addition, I live close to the Dayton, Ohio area mentioned above.

At the least- as Brynn wrote- this whole situation deals in the deepest shade of gender gray there is and this just scratches the surface. To read more go here.

Transgender Vet News

From the ThinkProgress site:

"Despite the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, the military still does not allow people who are transgender to serve.

Still, many people only transition after they’ve completed their service, creating complications for their continued receipt of benefits. Now, the Pentagon has recognized its first gender change for a military veteran and established a process — albeit a bit burdensome one — for future trans vets to do the same. Blogger and activist Autumn Sandeen was informed earlier this month that the Defense Enrollment Eligibility Reporting System (DEERS) has been updated to show her gender as female. Department of Defense spokesman Lt. Cmdr. Nathan Christensen provided the following statement to BuzzFeed: For the last several years, the Department has made requested changes to gender in the Defense Eligibility Enrollment Reporting System (DEERS) for military retirees.

Autumn Sandeen

A gender change in DEERS may be accomplished by the retiree presenting the following documents: - A letter from the doctor who performed the surgery, documenting completion of a gender reassignment surgery - A court order, legally changing the gender in accordance with applicable state law - An original birth certificate - A document, reflecting the sponsor’s name and if applicable, gender following completion of the gender reassignment procedure for a spouse The Department will not change a gender in DEERS if it results in a loss of benefits to the spouse of the retired member due to the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). The last point is noteworthy, in that the military is committed to making sure retirees receive spousal benefits without conflicting with the limitations of DOMA."

Of course there is much more to this process of interest to all of us transgender veterans.here to read more.
Go

Coffee with Stana

Thursday afternoon I did get to meet with Stana who writes the Femulate blog for a cup of coffee!
This was remarkable for several different reasons.

The first of course was geography. She lives nearly twelve hours away by car and airline connections are so loose between our two cities, it's quicker for her to drive than fly.
The second of which is the extreme rarity of meeting another transgender women who actually shares a number of life experiences with me.
The third is she is a blogging superstar. Her "Femulate" just went over some seven and a half million hits...Okay, I told you I was a 'groupie"!

Impressions? She is gorgeous! But more importantly though she seemed to be a genuinely nice person who radiates woman. You can jump over to her blog here to check out what she was wearing when we had coffee. With all those legs of hers, there was a poor guy trying to check in who couldn't seem to concentrate on staying in line.

But enough of all of that. Sharing a "cup o joe" with her was a true pleasure!

Victim is Spelled Many Ways

The En Gender Blog written by "My Wife Betty" author Helen Boyd comes up with quite a few "Damn I wish I had written that" thoughts. Here's one:

"I wrote this recently in response to a question, or an assertion, that nobody chooses to be born trans, but that often, the advice is that you can choose what to do about it. My wife says that a lot, and it makes some trans people unhappy.

 The way she puts it: you got a shit hand, but you still get to decide how to play it. Whether or not transition itself is a choice is an idea I will leave for another day. But here, in a nutshell, are some basic tenets I hope are useful. does it matter why? i don’t know what trans is – genetic, medical condition, etc. no one makes any distinction between nature/nurture anymore. nature is what? DNA? as in, something made out of protein that is created within a physical environment which is impacted by all our culture. just forget it. that binary is over, done with.

 Are people trans? yes. do they need to transition? yes. should they own their shit & do so as responsibly as possible? yes. should cis people start to fucking understand transness is not going anywhere, that it IS, in the same way that, say, queerness IS? yes.

 If you got married & you’re trans & you’re going to transition you’re going to wreck your wife’s life, pretty much. own it. minimize the damage however you can. your life was already wrecked by transphobia and represssion and who knows what else. your transition will give you the chance to change in a way that you’re looking forward to. your wife may, in turn, change her life into something she wants, too, but in either case, you will both experience a great deal of loss. none of it is fair, not a damn thing about it, & not for anyone. but stop, STOP, making it all about you.

 If there is anything i say to trans people all the time that none of you listen to – & that includes my lovely spouse – that is it. as she likes to say: trans people make Narcissus weep."

Enough said!