We Got Mail!

"Hi Tech Condo In Box"

I decided to bunch together several excellent comments I recently received.

"Bearmountaineer" responded to the To be Or not to Be post on Stealth question in the transgender community:

"Maybe it makes sense NOT to be noticed when we don't want to be noticed, and TO BE noticed when we want to be noticed, as when we want to support others. But we might consider presenting a stealthy image, and breaking it on purpose to show people that we are "normal", but a small slice of the population...."

I can only say I wish I had thought of this answer myself! Thanks!!!!

Alice checked in a commented on the Atlanta Cotillion :  Cyrsti, as per my earlier comment, Atlanta will also welcome the Southern Comfort Conference this month. Both events can be viewed on Flickr as many of the men in attendance love to share their images when dressed so well to the nines.

Thanks Alice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A portion of my Stuff post concerned the uproar over Mandi's appearance on the Anderson Cooper Show. One of my most respected long term reader and contributor here in Cyrsti's Condo, Sherri Lynne commented:

" Hey GF, I'm curious too as to why the Anderson Cooper piece has sent heads spinning and all the knashing of teeth. What happened to the "We Are One" here? This poor woman appears to me to be suffering from some kind of serious mental illness from what I have read about the interview based on the statements the woman herself made. Some members of our community have serious mental illnesses. Should their voices be stifled? Are they not allowed to be visable, or are we only going to let our "poster girls" have a public forum? We have to face the fact that some of us are going to have serious mental health problems, no more or no less in proportion to the general population. If this piece is exploitive in any fashion, not saying it is or it isn't as I haven't afforded myself to see the interview, my opinion that it would be based on her mental illness, but on the other hand, why should seriously mentally ill peoplew not be allowed to tell their story? In the early 1970's the deinstitutionalization of the mentally ill was ordered by federal mandate and the people deemed should be segregated and shut away from having a life of freedom were given more access to having as normal a life as their illness permits and living in the least restrictive manner possible. As with any poorly planned federal legistation, there were some very negative consequences for these individuals along with the very positive results of this court mandate. So, you make your choices and you pay your dues. This woman has not been deemed mentally incompetent, or she would be in the hospital. She has just as much right as anyone else to speak in a public forum whether we like it or not. That is the real issue at hand, not whether she makes the trans community look bad."

If you don't know, Sherri Lynne is a real live transgender therapist. Both trans woman and therapist!
I also received another comment from a person who has met Mandi several times and felt perhaps the platform she used did not work well for her. He thought that regardless of what anyone thinks of the validity of her claim, she has the right to comment on it.

In no order of importance I also received this comment from Brianna Austin concerning my video post The Best of Brini Maxwell :
" I met Brini at my first Night of a Thousand Gowns, in 2002 http://www.briannaaustin.com/index.php/gallery/events/thousand-gowns-2002/fab-formal-197"

Cool! I don't get out much (maybe quantity not quality?) and I am star struck when I get a comment from someone like Brianna who does!

Finally, Liz commented on my Transgender Dating post: "It was very moving and touched me!"
Thanks!

Thanks soooo much to all of you who cared enough to comment!

Horror Scope

I haven't mentioned for awhile how much I really don't believe much in astrology. Believe or not, my last several "Horror Scopes" here in Cyrsti's Condo have been flat out juicy!!!!
Including this one:

Libra (September 23- October 22) There isn’t be a lot you won’t feel you can’t do now, so don’t waste this time on hapless people and places. This will mean getting a bit sterner with your baby too, so when they go on with talking crap, you’ll have to know when to pull that shade down and close out the noise. This week, compassion is for the weak.

As always I make this disclaimer: Horror Scope is my title but it comes from theFrisky and the fabulous woman above is Venus Demars!

Transgender Girls in the Dating World

Recently I came across a post called "Would you be seen with me?"
The stark simplicity of the question is certainly a subject most transgender women and men have thought of.

If you are out and about and date-it's an all encompassing question. Especially if you do- or are considering dating men-it's a bigger question.
Before I comment, here is an excerpt from the post written by Racheal McGonigal (right)

"So who is up for a date? It is not really the right question to be asking. It should probably be, who is prepared to be seen out on a date with me? It takes a very special man to date a transsexual and that is a shame. Believe me, men love transsexuals but being seen with them is a different story."
t is some eight years since I have been in a relationship and I miss the closeness and cuddles. Recently, I meet a really nice guy. Average to good looking, fit, can communicate, we get on. First date went well, we meet in a bar and I admit I have never felt like this before. He told me he felt the same and so he stayed the night, both of us saying it was never our intention. Next day we walked hand-in-hand around the viaduct, ate in cafes and drunk in bars. We played pool and he never batted an eye lid. The romance continued. He has come to my place and stayed the night several times but now I see a problem: he is scared of what his 18-year-old son, middle-aged beer drinking flat mate, former partner and workmates will say. He says he doesn't care, that he wants us to be friends and has similar feelings for me, but he won't introduce me to his circle. Peer pressure. Time will tell what will happen between us but he is a special man. It is a hard choice when it's the bigotry of friends that put this pressure on him."

I'm far from being an expert at dating a man.
Here's my record over the past four years: One was a prince, one moved away, one so-so and four just out and out stood me up. I'm certain I would have been twenty times more popular if I would have accepted the ever so popular "which hotel do you want to meet at?"
Obviously, I didn't have to be told I was not the kind of woman a man would bring home to his family nor did I ask. But I was also not the sexually easy stereotype we trans girls fight through.
Look, I'm sure in many ways we transgender women are experiencing the same dating trials and tribulations as genetic women. Also, my older lesbian friends tell me their dating scene is nearly impossible to be a success in (at least around here).

I've written so many times how wonderful it is to have my little circle of friends...all of whom are genetic females...if that tells you anything!

Best of Brini!

Ever heard of Ben Sanders/Brini Maxwell? I had barely until a friend kept bugging me about her videos. Here's a Best of you may enjoy:

Queen of Cebu

From the Business Mirror.com : a new Queen of Cebu will be crowned pretty soon. GGs, or genetic girls, need not apply. This a competition for pre-op or post-op ladies only, as long as she identifies herself as a transgender woman, a male by birth.

Being the only son of an affluent Cebuano family, one might think that the life of Bee Urgello (left)  was always about privileges and getting your way around without any hassle. It was a different story for her as she had a different life. Instead of being served by maids in their huge house with a helipad, the third winner of the Queen of Cebu crown lived independently. She describes her life as “a drama you see happening in movies.” It was not easy for her family to accept who she was. Her parents somehow understood that she is gay, but for her to dress like a woman was simply unacceptable for them. She decided to runaway and in order to support herself, she rented a small place and worked in a call center. She rode a jeepney, did her own laundry and prepared her own food. She candidly shared how tempted she was to go back home, but she just knew that the comfortable life would not make her happy at that time. In one of her interviews, Bee shared that her lowest point was probably when she was laid off from her work. With only a hundred pesos left in her wallet, she settled for one piece of bread per meal, which cost Php2 each. She called her mom but she was told that she can only go back home if she agrees to “stop dressing up like a woman.” This time, more determined, Bee found a new job and was once again accepted as call center agent.

Read more here.

Top 10 Cross Dressers

Always fun to check out a "top ten" Japanese You Tube Cross Dressing Video:

Stuff

Bought a new mattress. It's one of those memory foam deals. (Hope it has more memory than I have!) I read the directions for once in my life on anything. (Hormones?)
The instructions said to let it breath...Really? It doubled in height in the first 4 hours and now I'm worried I will wake up on the ceiling.

Watched the Anderson Cooper show which had the interview with Mandi who is a bottle baby transsexual:


Mandi, who was born male, spoke out for the first time, claiming that a hair loss treatment caused him to become transgender. Should have tried that on my Mom. I got into my Dad's stash of whiskey and now....
After watching the interview I wondered why it was sending all the "trans watch dogs groups" into a frenzy.  I went into a frenzy thinking I wasted part of my life watching such a ridiculous act. I'm sure Anderson was too.

Temperature finally dropped about 30 degrees and yes I am cold already. Damn hormones. Hope my sweater isn't hidden under my new breathing mattress. (Does it snore?)

Recently one of my most asked questions resurfaced. A genetic acquaintance asked me if the hormones were making me crazy like the rest of us. Hard to say-define crazy?

Have to go. The mattress is fighting me for the television remote.

Atlanta Cotillion Saturday

Hundreds of men in dresses and their tuxedoed dates hit the Atlanta Cotillion XI Ball on Saturday, Sept. 15 at the Foundry at Puritan Mill. After a full season of fundraising parties, they’ll be there to see this year’s class of “debutantes” and find out who’ll be crowned queen with the most money for AID Atlanta. Last year, Cotillion raised a record $171,026 for the HIV/AIDS agency.

We have discussed in depth how wonderful this event is!!!!
Stana over at Femulate usually has an unbeatable collection of pictures from the event!

Transgender Formula

Every once in a while here in Cyrsti's Condo I like to discuss the powerful role of the mirror in the life of a transgender person.
The big problems with mirrors are they are pathological liars. They can only do what you want them to do. As you become lost in the eyes of that bewitching creature looking back at you in the mirror-in mere moments you can become just as lost out and about in an unforgiving public.
Let's call the process trans-physics.
Mirrors and pictures are one dimensional.
I have a friend who critiques the most attractive Flickr and YouTube cross dressing pictures and videos he can find. Rightly or wrongly, he uses other objects in the scenes to judge (among other things) the size of the person. Certainly the majority of us born with a taller, thicker body. No problem, we can use any number of photo tools to be one dimensionally attractive. Of course, there is nothing wrong with that until you walk out the door.
At that point you have moved into advanced trans physics. You are a three dimensional person - suddenly the good old mirror doesn't mean that much.
At this point, if you aren't scared to death-check yourself to see if you are still alive!
Assuming you are alive, lets work a couple of very real factors into our formula. (Bare with me, I didn't mention I'm a functional illiterate in math!)
Studies show human beings determine things like gender very quickly as they observe others. This is good or bad. Good of course if you are successful in projecting your gender, even if it for a couple seconds. Bad of course if you don't. That's another topic for another day.
The other factor is the blood smell.  Humans are predators and are quite capable of picking up the vibe of "something isn't quite right" with that picture. The genetic female of the species is quite good at it.Many times eye contact and a little smile will disarm the situation.
I can write literally pages and pages on this causing your eyes to bleed.
Lets try a formula: Tr+P-B= Pr or Trans person + projection - blood = presentation.
Just remember it's a highly simplified idea from my highly simplified mind but all in all it works.

Finally, let me toss in one more word about those pesky mirrors...they can be a girl's best friend when you are out. A quick check to make sure your hair, makeup or outfit is not off kilter is always a good thing. A good hint is to hold an article of clothing up in front of yourself in a store in a mirror. It's a great time to give yourself a good once over!