Trans 101

Educating "civilians" is an intregal part of my existence on occasion. One of those occasions was last night.
A group of three men and one woman were sitting close to me. I knew very quickly they knew I was trans and heard a few of the not so complimentary quotes.
Typically, when something like this happens I will just stay.  If they don't like me that is their problem. My rule is if I don't cause any problems for the place I'm in, I'm OK.
In a short period of time, both the woman in the group and I had to use the restroom. As we washed up she was playing with her hair and said nothing. We left and went back to our seats.
In a shorter period of time she switched her seat to the empty one beside me and the questions started.
The usual ones. What gender am I. Why do I live like this etc. No problem. I attempted to explain a gender fluid existence and the fact I was more female than male between the ears.
She then shifted the conversation into wanting to see my male self. Every once in a while this comes up and is rejected.
To the amazement of the others, we made the "girl" trip to the bathroom two more times and she made the obligatory "your boobs are bigger than mine" comment.
I just hope she took something positive back from the experience!
I will add my ideas later!

Love at First Sight?

As narcissistic and selfish as it may sound, I have fallen in love with that woman in the mirror who is me. As with most quick relationships, love turned to lust and then to reality.
As reality set in and my sorority membership started to become validated, my image became more complex.
As the same people saw me in the same situation multiple times, I was restricted in how I could change hair colors for example.
I have said it myself. Change is so much a part of a woman's looks. She can cut, dye and extend her hair. I found  I could do the same...by accident. I've told the story of my two dark hairstyles which are the same length. One is wavy and the other is very straight. Without hesitation I learned to tell inquisitive women my hair was naturally wavy which I didn't like and I have it straightened. Knowing full well most women never like their hair the way it is.
My many trips to wig stores over the years even provided me with yet another alternative. I have a short version of the straight hair and my story to go with it. Hair extensions on occasion give me the longer look.
On occasion, all of this hair talk makes me feel uncomfortable about the honesty of it all. It just happens so naturally and quickly it just seems right somehow.
The truly enjoyable fun part of the experience is that I am a huge fan of hair.  Hair is sexy, attractive and is even powerful. My three styles have given me an all important outlet for change and on occasion one or all of the above!

Party Down?

One of few remaining cis-female long term friends I have has been pushing me to meet with her.  "I need to talk to you!" is the quote.
I like her a lot...she is one of the few women I know who shares much of the same life experience (non gender related). In addition, she is very quick intellectually and we share the same off the wall sense of humor.
I almost got out of guy drag and let her meet my real self nearly a year ago and didn't.
I'm considering meeting her as me in a pub I've gone to in guy drag for at least 25+ years.
I just don't know if all are ready for the "coming out party"!

This Will Be Good!

This article says it all.
From the "China Post" news about one the best transgendered beauty pageants in the world!

Well Said!

Check this ad from a Christian dating site...
You have to read the fine print which says "The Lord looks at the heart. Not the outward appearance."
No, I haven't joined to see if they mean it!!!!!

Following Stana

Perhaps you do too! She writes a fabulous blog called "Femulate" If you follow the link here to "Transition Wisely" you will read about her reaction to an e-mail that showed up on her doorstep.
As luck would have it, I received an equally intriguing one today,. Mine was called "Girls Skin Care in a Boy's World." from "The Frisky" site I subsribe to!

Serious Violence

How sad is it we have to read again and again the story of a transgendered person being beat up or worse yet killed.
"But by the grace of God go I", I have only been personally close to a couple dangerous situations.
Two factors play into my success (knock on wood).  I learned (almost the hard way) not to be in a late, dark and isolated place by myself one night. A lesson a cis-woman learned from page two or three of her "girl guide".
Out of an alley two guys approached me and asked for money. I actually got out of the situation because I was trans and a 5 dollar "tip". Haven't been back since. Lesson learned.
The second factor does play into the violence aspect of the recent victims. Each of them...all of them decided at some point to not go back to a certain point of their gender existence.  Be it school, work or restroom, they all decided to live their life the way they needed to live it. The decision ultimately hurt them. The fortunate ones got away with only a beating.
Can you imagine the humiliation of the trans girl in the McDonald's restaurant who was beaten by other girls? She probably was raised not to raise a hand to a female. She began her life as a female and was beaten by them? Classic injustice.
I have reached the point in my life where I refuse to go back. I don't think I ask for much. I attempt to be a good citizen and mind my own business. I do ask for a touch of respect, the right to go where I want and use the restroom I want to use.
I know I have very fortunate to have lived the life I have so far.  I thank the God I worship everyday and ask her for guidance and karma.
In the meantime, my heart goes out to my sisters who have not been so fortunate.

Guy Drag!

The saddest part of my day  is when I unhook my bra and get into my guy drag.
Over my experiments on the dating sites many ask me... do I live as a guy too?
I used to say yes.
Now I quote a line from one our readers here.
No, I live as a female and get dressed in guy drag to work.
How profound and worth sharing again!

Female Bigots "Part Deux".

As soon as my decimated "DSL" service was restored (could be the serious rain and storms) I read the two comments to the "Female Bigot" post. Thanks!
I guess I just wanted to add my thoughts on transgendered people and their spouses or partners. Obviously I can only speak to the mtf side.
During the 25 years of marriage I experienced before my wife passed away, she slowly saw the man she married start to fade away. She knew from day one. I liked to dress in women's clothing. People told me I look good as a woman. Indirectly, she is the one who taught me that was only the beginning.
She indeed loved me and made me more of a decent human being than I could have ever achieved on my own. In the process, she even enabled me to develop my female side.
The trip was mostly hell with a bit of heaven mixed in. I always tried to imagine if the shoe was on the other foot? How would I feel like living with a guy? Wow! some kind of question!!!!
The answer of course was no. I wouldn't like it. If a poll was taken, I am sure a huge percentage of men would say the same. Just look at the number of men whose wife left them for another woman? How does that play on life's stage. Not well. Think about taking it up a notch and his wife is leaving him to become a man? The guy would have to leave the state.
My point is the "estrogen" wiring allows some women to allow their men to start down the female path. (Yes, I did say allow different topic). Sure dear it's OK to wear some of my undies. Stop sign. OK dear you can dress up fully around the house. Stop sign. OK dear, (if you must) it's OK to go to some of those meetings. You get the point.
What a tremendous amount of trust or love it must take to let your husband start down the road he knows he must take. I can't imagine the pain a woman goes through when husband begins to run stop signs and all of the sudden becomes more of a sister.
One of the stop signs I ran through happened a lifetime ago at a Columbus predominately gay/lesbian club. I went around the floor to get us a drink and when I returned she said "I couldn't believe you were my husband".
I'm just guessing, but I do believe the moderator of the group I was kicked out of had his license suspended for running too many stop signs.
She was a "back seat" driver in the group and became a "bigot" in the process.
You know? I can't blame her.