Happy Valentines's Day!

Happy Valentine's Day!!!!
Cyrsti


Andrej Pejic of course!
**see more pix in the library!

More Fashion Tips!

Ok girlfriends, here is another fashion site I found which could be great fun!
It's called the "Budget Babe".
I subscribe to four or five fashion sites to try to improve my style and I'm always on a budget! So this one fits (unlike most of the clothes)!
Every once in a while, I find a "nugget" that I really like, can afford and can wear.
In addition, I respond to a couple of sites on occasion with transgendered beauty questions and insights. "Blogher" has a "beauty wall" I've posted on twice.  I feel the so called "cis-female" blogs are as good as place as any to ask questions!

Up Against the Wall!

Passing by the wall of employee info, I happened to glance at the "Equal Opportunity Statement"
Of course I have seen it a million times and like everything else, it kind of just blends in after a while. This time it didn't.
I realized it did not refer to me.  As an older white male, I have been conditioned in the rules and regulations of equal opportunity hiring. Primarily, questions you can ask or not ask in a interview situation. It occurred to me that if I asked "are you transgendered" and the answer was yes I could basically say thanks and we will save your application. (Don't call us...we'll call you)
I also thought if I changed my clothing to meet my chosen gender, I would be gone shortly at my job.  Sure, I could sue and make a big deal about the whole thing. I would but the end result would be the same. I have no equal rights.
What am I doing about all of this?
I feel the acquaintances I meet and the columns I write help a little. I wish I could do more, surely like the rest of you. Hopefully together we can continue to do our "small parts" and the future will bring equal opportunity to us too!
If I didn't mention "Stana" and her "Femulate" blog at this point it would be a huge mistake.  Her "outreach" efforts to colleges in her area are a classic example of bettering our future! She is a quest speaker and explains life as she knows it and more importantly answers much needed questions! Following in her steps is one of my goals!

L-Room Chatter.

I've written before about how mundane I've found the "atmosphere" in the ladies room. (I did find how many women are not ladies!) lol!
I was prepared for this mystical experience in an estrogen filled escape for women.  Where they go in pairs and disappear.
Another myth shattered.  Sure the conversation normally centers around guys or families and every once in a while "I'm bleeding like a stuffed pig."
Last night though was different in one of my visits to "the room". One of the servers in a place I go on a regular basis couldn't wait to follow me in and show me her new engagement ring. Wow I thought quickly, how do I handle this girl to girl?  Do I jump up and down like the women I see in the jewelry commercial? Just kidding!
I was properly impressed and asked her if a date had been set and said the ring was beautiful. I was more impressed that she wanted to show me! How nice!
The best comment however came from one of two women who were busily talking about a certain date one of them had been on.  I was in the stall and overheard one of them say " I was wearing a short top with red leggings and heels. I normally don't dress that way."  As I came out and washed my hands, one of them was adjusting "the girls" dressed almost exactly that way!

Beautiful At Any Age!

One of the most common ongoing arguments in the transgendered community concerns fashion.
Presenting yourself as a female is part look and part attitude to be sure. Your look however, can go a long way in helping you to feel better in your new gender.
Of course I gravitate to the groups in my age bracket. Lets say 40 to 60.
The argument is always the same. You must dress "age appropriate" To be sure, you don't want to be the one in Wal Mart in a mini and heels getting laughed at.  BUT what exactly is "age appropriate?
Here is a site you might want to check out if you are an aspiring "cougar". "Fabulous after 40". 
Believe me, I'm not one to shop in the "juniors" dept. On the other hand I don't believe in a woman cutting her hair short at 40 because it is appropriate and I certainly don't believe a beautiful woman of any age should not make the most of her "assets".
Age is truly just a number. If you are taking care of your body and your skin etc. why not take advantage of it?
With the help of experts such as "Fabulous after 40", maybe you could be the next cougar?

Close Friends!

This story comes to us from the UK
Two transgendered teens were featured in an article in the "Sun"
The tabloid headlines screamed "Cindy and Natalie like shopping and doing their hair together. Nothing odd about that ...except they are boys."
The article by "Kate Jackson" goes on to say:

TEEN Natalie Brammer is tall and striking, while best pal Cindy Jackson is a fraction shorter but just as distinctive.

There is just one thing out of the ordinary about these giggly young women - and that becomes startlingly clear with a glance at their old photos.
For six years ago, pictured with cropped hair and the first hint of facial stubble, the 12-year-olds were very obviously BOYS.
Natalie and Cindy want to have a dual sex change.

Fantasy 101

Ok girl and guyfriends, I know the word "fantasy" invokes delicious thoughts!
Sorry, kids I'm going to bring you down a bit and jump back to the "SNL" and "Craig Ferguson" shows.
The "big guys" pick what goes on of course but who wrote the garbage that slammed us?
My fantasy is to sit face to face, eyeball to eyeball with the people that write this slop.
I assume they are in NYC's "ivory tower. I lived there for awhile and the average New Yorker had very little idea of the rest of the nation that existed between the coasts. Maybe all they know is the old "Club Kids" scene or any of the "Drag Queens" in New York.  Maybe they even have met "RuPaul"! Which means they know nothing at all of us as a group. Perhaps they even saw one of the old "Church Lady" skits years ago when SNL was funny.
Maybe they missed the point that the "Church Lady" was poking fun at a particular kind of woman, not a group per se.  We all knew "Dana Carvey" was a man but he was playing a woman. Not a transgendered woman.
The SNL writers totally and completely missed all of this.  Ferguson's drivel was just that...nasty like the rest of his show designed for the substance challenged late night masses.
My other fear is that I would meet a stone cold bitch and all logical conversation would be lost! As a group we would be certainly farther behind!

"Mo Boo!"

Surely you remember the 5 year old boy who caused such a stir with a Halloween costume.
I remember thinking at the time what a stir the poor kid caused.  Being a five year old, "Boo" and his friends are probably  past the whole issue but of course the adults aren't. Specifically the adults in the church his family belongs to.
The true hero in all of this is Mom and she has a blog you have to read. "Nerdy Apple Bottom"  is the name of this amazing blog.
Her church of course has accused her of "promoting gayness". She is just promoting the right of her son to be who he is! Here is a brief sample."And again I say to you that bullying is not okay, even if you wrap it in a bow and call it "spiritual care."
Most importantly, this woman did not run and hide from all of this. She came out swinging!
Read her blog and see if you agree she embodies much of what we all admire in a woman!

Why?

How could anyone think we make a conscious choice to walk down the transgendered road when it is so difficult to navigate?
Do they really think we could put it down like smoking or drinking?
The recent stats show how many of us live in total poverty.  Worse yet,. the number of us that face violence (and lose) is just scary.
Add on the suicides, loss of family and friends and even discord within our own community and no reality show could ever really scratch the surface.
To coin a term OMG!
Over the years, I've tried to think of some of my worst enemies who I could share my "condition" with and came up with a big fat zero. I've never hated that much!
On the other hand I wouldn't want to share the "euphoria"I felt last night. Yes, I am that selfish and I couldn't even begin to realistically explain it to a "normal" gendered person. Walking through a group of partying people with my long black wavy hair. Shoulders back, favorite outfit, scarf and bling. OMG it was fun!
What can I say, except I'm so lucky not to live in poverty. I am not lucky enough to say I haven't considered offing myself. What's left of my family knows I'm trans and I really get upset over those in our community who believe a total sex change makes you a better person than a crossdresser.
The only certainty I have is uncertainty.  Do I risk health problems at this point in my life to be more of a female. Do I go away and live full time? Do I continue the dual status I live now?
The only answer I have is that I don't know.  Some days it's my own personal gender nightmare. More than likely, one I'll take to my grave.
All these years "they" said I could put all this behind me.  OMG!
(OMG means Oh My God!)