I Just Couldn't

As I looked around at several of the men at the fall festival this weekend-I was jealous and sad.

How ironic was it that during the festival I understood how much my life had changed.  I really didn't have to look at the genetics longing to be one of them and looked at the guys thinking how easy it would have been just to be one of them too. I just couldn't. 

I'm thinking by my 65th year though, there should be no crying over lost spilled gender.  And, there wasn't on Saturday.  No tears and no celebrations.

Having written all of that, the best way to describe the day is to relate an exchange between my partner Liz and Missy: Missy piped up and said to Liz that she (me) would be stepping out of her comfort zone today and Liz said, no, she is stepping into her comfort zone.

Liz was right, I was in my big "cushy" comfort zone and really the only person who tried to invade it was a trashy woman with 3 young kids who wanted Liz's business cards from me and she was recoiling.  But you know-the kids didn't care.

Finally, I would never, ever - ever go back to where I was before.  But not transitioning would have been a huge load off of me.  Not as big of a load though as staying where I was.  I just couldn't. I would have killed me.

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

Cyrsti's Condo "Up-Date"

From the Advocate:

Punk rocker Laura Jane Grace will be giving fans a taste of her new documentary series True Trans.

Being a transgender rock star can be utterly confessional work. The public eye scrutinizes, while the urge to make impactful art pushes one to self-examine relentlessly. Both gender transition and songwriting are deeply private and idiosyncratic, even while simultaneously calling an artist to share their evolution with the world, baring their inner life in the hopes that the self and others will feel reflected, unburdened, or enlightened.

This push-and-pull is undoubtedly familiar to many trans performing artists, but this year has been rendered achingly real by Against Me! front woman Laura Jane Grace's ongoing public journey and new album Transgender 

Follow the link above for more!

The public transgender women and men who are continuing to tell the world about us--I hope have some of the idea of the wonderful work they are doing!

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Ker Plunk! Welcome kids to another "gi-normous" Sunday Edition.  Get a hot cup "o joe" and lets get started!

Page 1.- The Week that Was - or Wasn't!  A reasonably quiet week around here in the Condo.  We wrote about visits to the "girls and T-girls sandbox" Connecting gender dots is tough enough but essentially the only real way to do it-is to jump in.  No new sand was turned up.Plus, similar to many sandboxes, you never really know what could be buried there!  My only contention that the transgender girls sandbox was much more difficult! Mainly because most of the "sisters" have carried their sense of male ego and aggression with them through their transition.  When a genetic comes after you beware of the passive aggressive nature.  One way or another, your personal attitude can/will carry the day as you will see on page two.

Page 2.- A Walk in the Park?  Yesterday was my partner Liz's first public show of her hand crafted items in some time and it went well.  My deceased wife used to do shows too, so I have some sort of a back ground.  Times of course have changed and many of the higher end artisans are depending on physical shows to attract people to web sites and or physical stores.  After set up, since I am an artistic zero, my job was to actually do what comes natural-jabber (talk) and pass out cards.

Interestingly, the only real "problems" I had came from my deceased wife's sister who kept "slipping up" and calling me by my male name and he.  I told her very simply, keep it up and next time she won't go-or any where else with me.

Her highlight of the day was when I said I had to "potty" she said did I want her to along and "which restroom was I using?" REALLY?  I was sensitive and told her just to sit there and look stupid. What restroom did she think I was going to use????  Before any of you think I was being a bitch, we have been down all those roads now more than once. I told her I would be nice but only a few times.

Other than that, the crowd (as expected) was rather upscale and at the least, Liz's cards - Liz T Designs 
had a rather "unique" person passing them out!

Oh, by the way, we had a rather diverse section of vendors where we were set up.  The group beside us was several young lesbian women.

Page Three - Television Info  Perhaps you have already heard the Transparent show, with 70 yr old  actor Jeffrey Tambor  playing the lead role as a transitioning MtF parent has been picked up for a second season already. Also, maybe you have seen this "quick hitter":  It's from one of the ten million commercials you see for I-phones and/or related gadgets. In it, a 20 something man and woman are looking for possible roles in a play and he is looking at the women's roles.  I'm paraphrasing here, but she said you are looking at the women's roles.  He said I know, I may want to play one of them.  She showed absolutely no surprise or emotion and said, what ever you chose-they are your life choices!

Page Four-The Back Page.  Almost "gnawed off my arm Friday during another television related event. You all probably know I mention Cincinnati, Ohio quite a bit as a place where Liz lives (and I am working in that direction) and a city I have enjoyed most of my life.  I am not on their tourism payroll and yes the city has had a distance to go to catch up with other old river towns but they are now. Perhaps the best example of the reclamation of an area of the city called OTR (Over the Rhine) which led the country not so long ago as having the most murders in a neighborhood. Not any more- Liz told me not to miss Friday's episode of "Diners, Drive- Ins and Dives"  Then, she was exhausted and rolled over to sleep as I watched in agony all that wonderful food being prepared!  She is still hearing about it and can only recoup the damage by taking me to one - then all three of the featured spots- which are no more than twenty minutes from her house!

"Gotz" to go kids! It's a colorful, cool fall Sunday morning here in Southwestern Ohio-USA! Thanks for being such a close part of the Condo-no matter where you are!!!!

Cyrsti's Condo "Mom's Mystery Solved!"

Tom!!! So maybe I shouldn't be blaming another woman for that makeup on your Dad's hat and coat? Hey? Aren't those my thigh high stockings?

Fall Festival Time

Years ago, I used to view fall as the bittersweet season of the year which symbolized the possible end of my male existence and the beginning of a feminine one in the spring. I used used to sit for hours and watch strong winds strip the trees of their leaves and imagine what my future could be.

These days as I continue to transition, I can actually enjoy the fall season for what it is. Today especially, (Saturday) as Liz, Missy and I head out to set up at a near by fall festival to sell her handmade items and a few of my vintage ones.

Interestingly, I will be more than a "pretty face" in that we have set up my Android phone to accept debit or credit card payments at our booth. It will be interesting how much the process will be used and how my " up close and personal time" with potential buyers will work.

I'm not real worried since the festival we are going to is in a close proximity to several upscale suburbs of Columbus.  Quite the change from when I spent a day this week at a Cincinnati hospital with Liz (for tests) then a couple hours in her Dad's doctor's office that afternoon.

I have mentioned here in Cyrsti's Condo that Cincinnati is quite the different animal than Columbus here in Ohio.  "The Nati" has come a long way with the TGLBQ community but the potential is still there to run into those who worship snakes or speak in tongues. After all, It's not so far away from a Southern Ohio "holler" or  the hills of Kentucky.

Fortunately, we are in for a fine cool, Ohio fall day and I will let you all know how it goes! My plans are to post Sunday a more in depth look at the week and even the rare picture-if I can remember!

Cyrsti's Condo Conspiracy Theory?

Or- "Why I think cis-gay men hate genetics?"  Take all the "Housewives of Wherever" Shows.  Each one of those has at least one of the housewives which send my trans-dar off the screen!

First of all I'm not talking about James Davis aka Elaine from the Housewives of Miami Show: (left) Although, Elaine fit right in with the rest of the cast...

Kelly

Compare Elaine to Kelly (right) from the Housewives of New York.  This is a good picture of her (of course) but when I heard her voice and saw her for the first time, I thought "Damn that's a drag queen!" Or how about Kim Zokiack?  Birthing twins or not....well you know the rest.

Kim Z

I know when older women subject themselves to a ton of plastic surgery, wigs/extensions and sky high heels- the thin line between them and drag queens begins to narrow.

It just seems the gayest network except Logo- maybe might have a possible subliminal motive to their "Housewives" Shows.  Then again, gay men love drama as much or more than the next genetic and drag too. So why not make a buck or two out of it?

How I REALLY Met Your Momma?

Neal Patrick Harris, star of the long running "How I Met Your Mother" Sitcom.  In his role in Hedwig and the Angry Itch On stage-USA 2014

"Mo Dot's

Aww right, I was cleaning Cyrsti's Condo and found a few more of those damn dots I was looking for.

In the "of all places" department:

Not that I'm behind the times but I had never seen this from the "Huffington Post"   Beau Bridges' upcoming guest spot on 'The Closer,' airing Mon., Dec. 14, 9PM on TNT, will fascinate fans of the longtime actor. He plays Det. George Andrews, former partner of G.W. Bailey's crusty and hard-edged Lt. Provenza. About a decade has gone by since they last saw each other and much has changed -- including Det. Andrews' sex change. 

Oh, by the way, it's from 2009?

Overall, I was pleasantly surprised at how the episode right away jumped into Bridges transgender sexuality (like my last Doctor visit) and the difference was explained.

I'm not going to ruin the show for you either, except to say it had a happy ending.

Next: First of all,  this is all of ours dirty little secret- I watch Dr. Phil and then blame it on my dog!  At any rate, the "Philster"  was doing some sort of show about keeping relationships together. Truthfully, I wasn't watching closely, but it seemed this one couple's major malfunction was he was still living in his past - style wise.  It bugged her. 

What really got my attention was when the woman said "Well, I put all this time and effort into looking nice. Nails, hair, clothes etc and then look at him?"  I'm thinking at that point "Well DUH! lady!" Then she paused and said "The way I look is not all about him, it's the way I live my life." 

I have been literally waiting for years to hear such a profound statement.  All of the sudden the ancient arguments about women dressing for men or women dressing for women were out the door. It's the way we choose to live our lives from genetics to cross dressers to trans gender women.  

We probably learned more from our Momma's than anyone knew!

I'm seeing dots!