Thanks for the Input

I am on several other blogging and social media platforms with my Cyrsti's Condo Blog. In fact, I have several great friends who follow posts on Facebook. A couple of these friends I was fortunate to meet in person, years ago. Recently one of them, Jen sent me this comment concerning our journey as transgender women and men:

"Im sure it's a journey that isn't a bed of roses. I'm sure most people don't understand so much especially about this subject. I think its important to have light on this and along with many other struggles people face. I have no doubt that the victories are won when its realized how strong one has become through the struggles, pain and finally becoming the living story that says you can do anything you set your mind to and love yourself and be who you are even when no one else doesn't accept you. 

Many like to turn their noses or point the finger while all along, they have their own skeletons and struggles they hide and hate on others. I applaud you, I applaud the one suffering silently, the one that suffers publicly and the one who takes that first step and the many others that you yourself and the others that you have shared about.the struggles and victories are a testimony and inspire me. Thank you."...  Thank you Jen! You inspire me!❤

On another subject, Connie wrote in on the "Rude Paul" post commenting on my speculation that Paul was yet another old, cis gender male rump supporter:

"Well, I'm sure that Trump is a Paul supporter. Not that he supports his lifestyle, necessarily, but he seems to hold admiration for anyone who can turn a buck by using their "personality" to garner favor from the public. Even if it is more like the appeal of a train wreck, playing to the fools who would be attracted to whatever they are selling is Trump's MO. Of course, it's not so much the product, but the self-branding that is important to their successes. B.T. Barnum depended on the "sucker born every minute," and knew that he could still sell circus tickets to the very people he publicly deemed to be suckers. Trump and Paul are no different, except that they have the ability to use modern technology to draw many more people into their circuses."

Imagine rump watching drag race at the White House and trying to figure out how he can rip off more votes by watching it?

Jazz Jennings

Recently,  young trans activist Jazz Jennings and family began season six of her transgender journey television show "I am Jazz." If you are not familiar, over the years, the show has traced Jazz from being a young trans girl to present day. All the way through gender corrective surgery. Unfortunately, all didn't go as planned after the major operation and the premier show on "The Learning Channel" covers it. Here's an excerpt from "Women's Health.":

"Season six of TLC’s I Am Jazz starts out in a familiar place: LGBTQ+ activist Jazz Jennings and her family are preparing for a life-changing surgery.

This will be the third in Jazz’s gender confirmation journey, and, while everyone is hoping this will be the last, the serious complications that Jazz experienced after her first surgery are at the front of everyone’s minds as Jazz and her doctors walk back to the operating theater in Tuesday’s premiere on TLC.

“I’m hoping for a noneventful, positive surgery, where Jazz comes out, and the doctors say everything went exactly as planned, and they don’t have any ‘buts’ along the way,” her dad, Greg, says as he, her mom, Jeanette, and brother Sander wait for updates on the procedure.

“And Jazz lives happily ever after,” Jeannette is quick to add.

The outspoken 19-year-old is the star of I Am Jazz, but her supportive and loving family also deserve some of the credit for giving the show so much heart. This week’s episode opens with a Jennings celebration fit for a season premiere—a beachside 21st birthday party for twin brothers Sander and Griffen."

For more, follow the link above.

Rude Paul

If you haven't heard, "Rude Paul", Mr. transphobe himself is going to host one of my favorite shows, Saturday Night Live.

This comes from The Advocate website:

"RuPaul's Drag Race unveiled its new crop of contestants for season 12 last week. And once again, the cast is composed entirely of cisgender men.

Transgender inclusion has long been a point of controversy for the VHI reality series. While several notable transgender contestants emerged from the Drag Race universe — among them, Carmen Carrera, Jiggly Caliente, Sonique, and Monica Beverly Hillz — only Peppermint was an out trans contestant, on season 9. Gia Gunn also competed on All Stars 4 after coming out but noted in a follow-up interview that she felt "completely disregarded" by RuPaul and the show during the experience."

Detox, Carmen Carerra and Aja

Ironically, on Facebook recently I became embroiled in a heated conversation with a big fan of the privileged "Rude" one who positively makes me sick anytime I see him. 

Then again, I am seeing an uptick of rump supporters too lately which I am busily blocking. For some reason, I have been running into a number of old cross dressers who really don't care rump and his minions are busily trying to erase us as LGBTQ citizens. 

It wouldn't surprise me if Rude doesn't support him too. 

To be sure, I won't be watching the Saturday Night Live he is on. 

It's Nice to be Wanted

I missed posting yesterday in the Cyrsti's Condo blog because I was traveling north to my oldest grandson's birthday party.

It usually is a positive experience as most all the parties are held at my daughter's in laws in Dayton,Ohio. where I am fortunate to be accepted for who I have become.

I was lucky yesterday when my daughter texted me and reminded me of the address again where I was going. I for some reason had forgotten and thought the party was next weekend. I barely had enough time to get ready, stop for gas, pick up a card and go to the bank machine to withdraw a cash gift for my grandson.

The problem was, the place I was going was an hour away. Somehow I was able to do a fairly respectful job on makeup and hurriedly put together an outfit of leggings, sweater and boots.

One of these days I am trying to remind myself to thank the whole family for accepting me. They seem to take it for granted but it means so much to me.

Are You Man Enough?

These days, when I write, I am dividing my time between the Cyrsti's Condo blog and the book I am trying to put together. In my mind it is much easier to write a blog post because it fits my short attention span.  As I work on a book chapter, I have to go more in depth. 

Here is an example for a chapter I am working on which revolves around leaving your male closet and finding your life as a transgender woman:

In many ways, it seems those days of rummaging through my meager wardrobe of girl’s clothes and make up were just yesterday. Then again, taking my precious time to admire myself in the mirror seems so long ago. The impossible dream was to try and get out of my restricting closet and try to live a feminine life. Along the way I had so many misconceptions of what that life would be like, it seemed I was hitting wall after wall. The only thing I do know is I went from hiding behind my skirts when the world threatened me all the way to becoming an out and proud transgender woman. Let’s go back now to how you change closets and why.

The “why” is simple. If you don’t feel the need deep down inside to change your gender, don’t do it. Because really you are not changing anything. You are connecting the dots back to the person you have always been deep down inside. Perhaps, this idea is the hardest to explain to an outsider trying to understand being transgender is not a choice for us. We are simply trying desperately to live the life we were always destined to live. Unfortunately, most of us are subjected to what is referred to as “testosterone poisoning” The time starting at puberty when we begin to develop the male characteristics which will come back to haunt our attempts to externally transition later in life. Very few of us are lucky enough to physically transition seamlessly into the feminine gender. For the rest of us, it is a real struggle.  Once you decide it is time to change closets, the problem arises on how you are going to tell friends and family.

There is no easy way telling others. Some decide to slowly tell family and friends while others decide to quickly pull the band-aid off and tell many people quickly. Younger trans people have their entire lives to try to carve out a niche where they can find employment and hopefully someone to have a relationship with. Older trans people have the opposite problem with primarily telling a lifetime spouse and family. Naturally, many spouses feel as if they have been deceived. They married a man, not a woman. It leads to heartbreaking dramas on both sides. In my case, my wife of twenty-five years accepted my need to be a cross dresser but never my need to be transgender and more of a woman. We had massive disagreements. Looking back on it, she was right when she told me to be “man enough to be a woman.” In gender disagreements each side essentially is right and it makes the whole situation very difficult to navigate. There is no easy answer. I certainly am not wise enough to suggest one.

I have such a long way to go!

Candis Cayne

Candis Cayne was born August 29, 1971 and is an American actress and performance artist.

Cayne performed in New York City nightclubs in drag since the 1990s, and came out as transgender in 1996; Cayne came to national attention in 2007 for portraying transgender mistress Carmelita on ABC's prime time drama Dirty Sexy Money. The role makes Cayne the first transgender actress to play a recurring transgender character in primetime.

Jin Xing

From the Thomson Rueters Foundation News:

"China's best known transgender celebrity says she never aspired to be an LGBT+ activist but now Jin Xing has an eye on politics, saying she has the power and presence to help society.

Jin admits her journey from teenaged soldier to ballerina to one of China's top TV hosts has been extraordinary, as has her widespread acceptance as a trans woman in conservative China.

Next stop: the political stage in one-party communist China.

"If you have the power and the guts and will and thinking to do something for society, why not? My talk show already had a political impact," she told the Thomson Reuters Foundation in an interview on Wednesday at the World Economic Forum (WEF) in Davos, a ski resort hosting some 3,000 of the global elite."

Follow the link above for more.

Transgender Lesson Learned

As I go back through the ideas I have compiled for another book, I find myself living too far in the past.

My noggin tends to remember the good times and forget the bad ones. For instance, there was the rime I went to an urban downtown festival in Dayton, Ohio. I searched and found a post about it years ago here in the Cyrsti's Condo blog. It has always been interesting to me how in depth I went into what I wore. I mentioned the silky tank top I tried along with my favorite pair of distressed jeans. I even wrote about showing off "the girls" which back in those days were silicone breast forms. Not that there is anything wrong with that!

What I didn't get into was how lonely I felt. Even though I made sure I went out to my favorite venues afterwards, I remember the distinct feeling of being envious concerning all the couples I saw. During this time period I was still a year or so away from finding others I could socialize with. The lesson I learned was to keep trying and try to stay public hoping someone would find me...as they eventually did.

It was tough to keep looking forward and not back at my numerous failures. Especially the guys I met on line who "couldn't wait" to meet me. Then stood me up.

Ironically, I learned the looking forward lesson when I was in the Army. In the final weeks of basic training we were on a very long forced march in the winter hills of Ft. Knox, Kentucky. I remember distinctly having a brief moment of feeling sorry for myself as I looked up the rather intimidating hill we were on. It lasted until I happened to look back and see how far we had come. From that point forward in the life, I tried to remember that lesson.

I can't tell you how many times I applied the lesson to my Mtf gender transition. Little did the Army know they were helping me learn a valuable transgender lesson. Never despair where you are. Just look at how far you have come!

Trace Lysette

An Ohio native and mother of the ballroom scene's renowned house of Mizrahi, Trace Lysette is rising from her Midwestern background and career in the underground into a household name. Lysette appeared in Law & Order: Special Crimes Unit in 2013, but her star truly rose as Shea on Amazon’s Transparent. What was meant to be a guest appearance grew into a recurring guest role, thanks in no small part to Lysette’s undeniable talent on-screen.