The Ultimate Transition Test?

I am sending along good vibes to one of my fellow trans woman bloggers: Francine who writes the In Transition blog.  For the past several weeks she has been ill and similar to me has faced the probability of hitching up her "big girl panties" and going to the Doc as her chosen gender.

I can only say for me, my initial medical visits rated right up there with some of my scariest life changing moments yet as a transgender woman.  

I also tell those of you considering HRT -factor in doctor's visits.  Especially if you have put a few more years into your body (like I have.) As with anything else in life though, hormones are a gamble. They have wonderful benefits and scary risks. I always say at this point "God bless the cross dressers." They are able to present as a woman and get some sort of release for their "genderality" 

I also know of those of you who consider yourselves transgender women without SRS and HRT. That's all good too.  

At the end of the day, when we pass on, I hope we have a chance to look back and wonder just why we had to put up with all this hassle.

In the meantime, I knew I hadn't lived until my one doctor asked me to show my breasts to his resident. He wanted to show the difference in a man with "moobs" and a trans woman on HRT.  The areola, according to him is the difference.

I figure too, all of this may be preparing me for any future "nursing home" time I may be facing as my life winds down. Who knows though, I may attract a rich widow? As I told Kim and Nikki recently, everytime we go to one of their lesbian parties, there is at least one curious interested party in the room. (Don't tell Liz!)

On a very serious side-Francine, I hope you are better!

A Woman Driver?

I believe about a week ago I posted here in Cyrsti's Condo about a fender bender wreck I had at a gas station. As I suspected immediately, he did not have car insurance as about a third of the people around there don't have.

At any rate Liz's 17 yr old son and I deducted my "Rolls Royce" wasn't heavily damaged and I was prepared to let scratched fenders be  scratched fenders and move on- after I took pictures of his drivers license, car tags etc. During that time he was busily calling me "mam" and we exchanged phone numbers.

A couple days ago I sent him the bill from my mechanic's fully expecting not to hear back-but I was wrong.  He called today.  The problem is/was I have a terrible voice presentation on the phone and I was expecting a call from my insurance company.  So I was doomed to be Cyrsti's brother (which I hate) on the phone before I even got started. Later on though, we found the car was slightly damaged and suffered a broken strut.

After I answered, he said, he hit a female last week and wanted to meet up with her so he can pay the bill. I said I would have Cyrsti call him and set up a place. Then I had to beg Liz to call for me. Of course she will go with me for safety to get paid, but I get to collect.

What a tangled gender world we weave!

Tipping the Gender Scale

When someone asks me a specific question about attempting to go full time as a trans woman, I have a simple answer for an ultra complicated deal: Get your "pretty in pink" rear out of the mall and into real life. After a while you learn if you really want to tip your gender into where you always considered it to be. And then cross the magical, mysterious and highly scary line from being a cross dresser into living as a transgender woman.

Before I put myself up on a pedestal, my journey was hugely pushed along by friends who refused to accept than anything I was-trans and a woman at that. I was pushed into situations such as an NFL Monday Night Football game, a "lesbian wing girl" and of course, a trip to Mardi Gras.  Even still, all of those were just experiences and not everyday life. 

Recently, I have read several posts calling for cross dressers to come out- be counted and how do CD's fit in with the transgender community. In my never humble opinion, totally. With reservations of course. 

My easiest example to relate to all of you is the story of my deceased wife calling me a "terrible woman" back in the mid 80's. I thought she was nuts and said the public didn't think so. She explained (bluntly) she wasn't talking about how I looked at all. Fast forwarding thirty plus years, I searched, searched and ultimately ran like hell from the fact I was indeed transgender. Since she has passed of course I have no problem with saying she was right!!!!

But-in no way is cross dressing a "gateway" process to becoming transgender. All cross dressing will do is provide an avenue to explore your own "genderality." Plus, there is absolutely nothing wrong with expressing yourself as a cross dressing male! After all, what is the real harm?

So, good luck with tipping your "gender scale." For years I knew which way mine was going and was afraid I could never get back. Then I discovered I didn't want to.

Who Be You?

I picked this up off of Stana's Femulate blog and decided to pass it along. 

"A glance at any list in Facebook will easily reveal many obviously made-up names. So why are only some people losing their accounts? Because Facebook uses their reporting system to identify accounts that users think are fake. Why would a user report a fake name account? One is that they are a troll. They hate people with opposing views and want a chance to find and harass them in real life.

Another is that they are a transphobes. 

By using pictures, posts and memberships in trans-related groups, transphobes have identified and had suspended hundreds, maybe thousands of accounts of people who self-identify as trans. This is embarrassing, humiliating and potentially dangerous for those closeted, part-timers and others requiring a level of privacy from those who wish to do them harm."

Follow the link for more!

Caitlin "Cruz"

With all the right wing Republican candidates out there in the primary, it seems I have a bunch of names yet to tie in with our girl Caitlin Jenner. Actually, I may have been to quick tossing "The Donald's" (Trump) name into all of this-indeed he maybe the one the least likely to spurt out homophobic or transphobic comments. Just a guess. As far as Cruz goes, from the first time I saw the Evangelical Tea Party Senator from Texas, I thought why doesn't he come out of the closet and get it over with?

To the point-here is Paula's comment from the UK:

"We should not be surprised that some transgender people have views we find difficult, that they have politics other than those we understand. Apart from that one single factor of being trans we are just like everybody else, just as likely to be intolerant, stupid, vain, and ignorant as anybody else. Being trans does not (necessarily) make somebody a nice person, any more than it makes then well informed or intelligent.

Sometimes I rejoice that there are now more trans people in the public eye, but we do have to remember that they are not in the public eye initially because they are trans, they are often first and foremost celebrities so it is unreasonable to expect them to be reasonable, articulate and compassionate people if they were not before coming out."

You are right Paula! But as a community? We are well known to "eat our own." Unfortunately in this instance with the Kartrashians it is much more difficult to separate fact from fiction-or ratings.

And no...no amount of hormones or surgery changes a person's basic personality. A jerk easily can be a bitch too. In Caitlin Jenner's case we can only hope she becomes more informed about all the true problems in the transgender community.

Caitlin Huckabee?

As I expected, many of you did me proud with your responses to my "Caitlin Trump" post. This post I chose the name of perhaps the most neo religious Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee. Huckabee just might be the one most likely to have all transgender people burned at the stake-or stoned to death. Enough of my political "drama" It should be noted I was a History and Political Science major in college. None of that makes me right-except to myself!

First, I am going to pass along an edited version of Connie's comments:

"It should be no surprise to anyone that this is just another "reality" show - heavily produced, calculated, and edited. I am only watching it to see if it might be doing some good for the Trans community, despite the circus it is. My hope is that Part II of this road trip will be Cait's awakening, and that all of her obsessiveness with the girly things and her totally misguided "political" views will be crushed when she meets the "disadvantaged ones". and-

"These (sex workers) are stereotypes that the general public has, and the best use of all of the production, calculation, and editing would be to use Caitlyn as the foil who is perpetuating those stereotypes right now - only to see the light later and work to dispel them. If not, then this is just a luxury bus trip with the Transdashians on their way to go slumming - for Cait, anyway"

Connie, I was jumping for joy when Candis Cayne was first through the door. Of course she was!!! The hook has been set by the Kartrashian marketing machine. After all which gender would Caitlin cling to after the change and doesn't everyone's ex Olympic hero look better flirting with one of the most gorgeous trans women out there-rather with some macho guy?

Finally, my solution to all of this is Caitlin is entitled to her political views - but- donate all of the shows proceeds plus her speaking engagements to a foundation for transgender youth. She (Jenner) is one of a very few who can put her money where her mouth is concerning social programs.

Our next response comes next from "across the pond."

Caitlin "Trump?"

Candis Cayne

Well that may be a bit dramatic, but during a particularly telling moment on Sunday’s episode of “I Am Cait,” Jenner made a comment about trans youth that raised eyebrows among many trans people. From the Yahoo TV feed this morning, Jenner said:: "“[Can’t they trans people) make more not working, with social programs, than they actually can with an entry-level job?” Jenner asked, reflecting the right-leaning political views she shared with Diane Sawyer during her April “20/20” interview. “You don’t want people to get totally dependent on it. That’s when they get in trouble.” Jenner must not realize how hard it is just to get a job for most of the transgender population OR how tough most of the younger trans population has it from family pressures alone. Indeed, life does look different from 100 million dollars away.

LGBT activist Jenny Boylan, who was part of the onscreen conversation, later told the camera, “Now I’m worried. Caitlyn has every right to be just as conservative as she chooses, but many transgender men and women need social programs to survive, and that’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

If you didn't see the show, perhaps like me, you could have seen Jenner's comment coming a mile away. The premise of the show was a "Trans Girl's Night Out." and first trans woman through the door (representing a "diverse" mixture of trans women) was the gorgeous Candis Cayne, followed by the fore mentioned Jenny Boylan and approximately four five other transgender women-again a very accomplished crew full of passing privilege. But, in true Hollywood form, an Hispanic and an African American woman were mixed in for the "diversity."

At that point I became totally cynical and even more so when the girl's night out took to the road in a big fancy motor home (of course) then stopped at a fancy resort hotel for the night.(of course) At that point (among other things) Jenner blurted out her feelings about  transgender women and men needs for social programs. She must have not realized one in five transgender peoples have experienced homelessness at some point in their lives, according to the National Center for Transgender Equality.

Then again, let's not forget "This is Cait" is part of the Kardashian  circus machine, so Caitlin's political belief's plus an "attraction" to Candis Cayne just will help to keep us talking about her.

Smile! You Are On Transgender Camera!

In an earlier Cyrsti's Condo post, I wrote of my recent public interactions and how  we now have the potential to do more than ever to take the transgender person from a caricature to a living breathing human being. 

As she has a tendency to do, Liz and I had a discussion of the "phenomena"  yesterday. Plus-as I have a tendency to do-I unloaded a hell if I do and a hell if I don't speech. Why aren't we coming any closer to transgender equal rights and more "grass roots" visibility? But, why are all these peeps bugging me about being a trans woman?

Liz is nice to me and starts out mentioning my wonderful personality, engaging mind and (sometimes) my endless flirting. Most certainly all of that does sound wonderful and I am sure my humble self wishes it all was true - but it isn't. 

Similar to many of you, we are all part of the Caitlin Jenner back lash. The public has been educated to a degree about the "T's" of the GLBT loose coalition. So now, perhaps more than ever before, it is contingent on all of us to put our best trans selves forward. 

As far as Liz goes, she still says I can be bought off with home cooking. Friday I took advantage of a lunch invitation with one of our friends. It just so happened she had four boys there -all under 16-maybe the most inquisitive and potentially the most transphobic group of humans there are. After all, we all know the problems (deserved or not) cis men have with trans women.

Forget all of that though-lunch was fantastic!!! Thanks Nancy!!

Checking Your Trans Card?

As I was driving back from Cincinnati today, I began to think about the two young feminine cashiers/baggers at the grocery store Liz and I were checking out at last night.  Both of them were positively falling all over themselves to be nice to me. In fact, I was almost embarrassed. 

This morning I thought-Wow! How times have changed. I am not however naivete enough to believe times have changed for all the transgender community-across the board. Take Cincinnati for example, it's very possible if I am visiting one of the new upscale venues in the downtown "Over the Rhine" district - a trans person or two adds to the true valued diversity of the area. 

But, if I head out 50 miles east of the city, I could just as easily be verbally attacked (or worse).

As I have said here in Cyrsti's Condo, I work as hard as I can in an attempt to garner as much "passing privilege" as possible. Number one, why wouldn't I and number two, I certainly may need it!

Perhaps you have caught the story of a transgender woman finally being tied in with violence in a women's restroom. The problem is - she was attacked by a cis man who followed her into the restroom. That's exactly what we all need, some guy checking out our trans cards and then deciding to beat us up-in the women's room. I know the feeling. In fact, I have a very close genetic friend Min, who has ran restroom "protection" for me in a few situations. (In addition to Liz of course.)

This post though, is not about rest room privilege at all. It is however about the most powerful trans card of all-your personality. More on that next.