Trans Ohio and More

As always time is slipping away and just around the corner is the Trans Ohio Symposium May 29-31st and then many LGBT Pride celebrations. This year, I'm interested to see what (if any changes) will occur in the transgender community. What I mean is, will I notice any more transgender women than I have in the past? In the past (unless a trans woman had tons of passing privilege to the point of not setting off my Trans-dar) I have noticed damn few. On the other hand, the various other sub cultures in the LGBT were highly represented. From "super butch" lesbians (many tough to separate from trans men) to androgynous youth of both genders; as always trans women are a small representation.

The problem to me has been being once again compared with various drag queens entertaining for the day.

This year perhaps, the trans women will be a little more emboldened to step out from the closet and into a Pride event?

It can be a fun and enlightening time if you can!

The Big Three

First of all, I (Cyrsti) am participating in Trans*forming the Dialogue, Simmons College’s Online MSW Program’s campaign to promote an educational conversation about the transgender community. By participating in this campaign, I will be offering my perspective on what TO ask and what NOT to ask trans*people.

Unfortunately, these are all too easy to answer. Lets go into the NO questions:

Do Not ask a trans person about their sexual preference!!!! Number one sexulaty and gender are two different issues and

It's none of your business!!! As a point of reference, I have been asked about my gender preferences in a Doctor's office by male interns.

Do not ask me "how long have I been doing this" or "when did I know?"  As innocent as the question may seem,  Being transgender is not a choice. We were born this way.

Do Not Ask Me Have I had any surgeries? How could that possibly matter?

Do Not ask me how I became "so brave" to do this? Bravery is for first responders and military members, I am just doing what I had to do - to live
Do Not Ask Me: How it feels to be a woman. I only know how it feels to be me. It is you who are laying a gender "sticker" on me. Gender is only a mirror and I am showing you the reflection of the gender I want you to see.

Now- Do Ask Me:

What do I think of all the Transgender Dialogue these days?  I welcome any informal "educational" opportunities. Plus, people are seeing so much of us on television, they are curious to meet one of us "in person."

Is Society Changing? Yes, and it's always easy for me to explain why. 

About problems Transgender people of all types face in today's world as they transition. It's always amazing to me about how more people I meet who know or have a gender nonconforming person they know or in their family.

**Please note- this will be a continuing dialogue you all can participate in the very near future.  

Trans*forming the Dialogue!

 May 14 at 10:59 AM

Dear Cyrsti,

First and foremost I want to thank you for the incredible work you do for the transgender/gender non-conforming community. By sharing your story on Cyrsti's Condo, you are helping inspire countless others to find their voice and embrace their true identity.

I’m the marketing coordinator for Simmons College, the third US women’s college to accept students who identify as transgender. I am reaching out because we are embarking on an exciting initiative that aims to educate the masses on trans*lives.

This spring, we are launching Trans*forming the Dialogue. A campaign designed to shift the conversation away from the problematic questions that are often asked of the members transgender community and foster a more progressive dialogue. We are inviting bloggers like yourself to be a featured voice in this campaign.

Meghan

Of course (as I told Meghan) I was humbled and flattered to be considered for this project and of course I would participate!!!

The first three questions will be addressed in the next post.

Hit Me With Your Best Shot?

Remember "Pat Benatar?" Well, she is still very much in the music business and I saw her yesterday on one of the morning news shows.  She rocked the music world in the 80's with hard hitting rock sounds such as "Hit Me with You Best Shot."  To the left is Benatar and her long time husband Neil Giraldo. 

After all these years of singing, she has one of those deep gravely feminine voices I love so much. And for some reason, I was able to "channel" her when I went to my VA Doc yesterday.

First of all, it's normally really tough to judge the overall effects of HRT on your own body. I had not seen her (the Doc) for six months, so she was (happily) properly impressed with my changes. She also was quick to comment how much happier I seemed to be- which is true. 

Her next comment though extremely flattered and frustrated me at the same time. She said "My God! Have you been working with your voice?" Actually, no-I was just channeling Pat Benatar at the moment.  My voice just felt low, loose, feminine and all so sexy.  But!!!  Just as quickly when I try too hard with Pat-she deserts me-with that throaty laugh!

I'm working hard  Pat and will give it my best shot!

Comentators

Recently I mentioned the difficulty you all are having getting comments into Cyrsti's Condo.  I twerked (er) tweaked several things. Well, at least one seemed to be working because I was flattered when I received this comment from Ginger Burr:

"Thanks so much, Cyrsti, for this wonderful message (and for enjoying my blog posts!). You hit the nail on the head. You are so right about having to "jump" age brackets. It makes the process more challenging for those who are in their 40's when they fully embrace their feminine selves (I hear this from my trans clients all the time, but they are also so thankful to be expressing themselves authentically that the experience is wonderful even with the jump). The world is changing for the better (I have seen such forward movement over the past 30 years) and I hope the 20 something generation will read your comments and take the plunge with no looking back! Thank you for sharing your wealth of knowledge and thoughtfulness.""

Thanks to you Ginger! Years ago, someone I admired very deeply tried to tell me simply putting on a dress and heels made me a princess - not a woman-and I was clueless. (She was right.) It's the reason I always try to be in tune with the multi layered worlds "generic" woman grew up and live in day to day.

If you missed the post, briefly, we discussed three subjects from Ginger which deeply spoke to all transgender women. Here is a link again to her site .

Eat More Chicken?

Today was appointment day at one of my medical team. Sounds impressive-right??

Well, it is and keep in mind the only way I can afford it is my Veterans Administration co-payment health care along with my yet to be tested Medicare.

At the VA I am assigned to a "primary care provider" - not unlike your family doc, if you still have one of those. Then, I have my endocrinologist and finally the person I call my "pusher."  She actually is a psychiatrist who monitors/prescribes my moods because I am bi-polar. If you didn't know, mixing an estrogen "supplement" with a mood stabilizer can cause problems.  I of course have been dealing with this for years and am ready every time a well meaning person on my medical team and raises the red flag. They are right and I don't want to sound as if I take any of this lightly. Fortunately, it is easier to explain these days to professionals being transgender is not a choice.

I always seem to have the most fun after the "work" part of my appointments. The example today was when Kelly asked me what I thought about Leelah Alcorn, Bruce Jenner AND...did I think all the hormones in processed foods were dropping the testosterone levels as a whole in men. Well, as most of you long term Cyrsti's Condo readers know-I do think that.  Having said that, I'm not saying society as a whole will be experiencing a complete boom in the numbers of cross dressers and transgender women, but the stereotypical John Wayne virile guys are not as numerous.

Try having that conversation with the person who essentially is my therapist. So I guess I could cut back on my regular HRT estrogen dosage if I gave up my boycott on a certain chicken chain which is well known for it's bigotry?

Cyrsti's Condo "Library"

Recently I found this site which may be of interest to many of you from Transgress Press.


So far though, I did not see any of their publications directed towards senior transgender or the "baby booming"  transitioning folk. However, this one caught my eye! Transgender partners (be they male or female) get no love either!

Follow the link above for a closer look!

Comments?

I understand from a couple of you that you are having difficulties publishing comments to Cyrsti's Condo. Rest assured I don't think I did anything to cause that to happen. I don't block anyone, but I do have the option to not publish an inappropriate or spamish comment.

I am going to continue to work on the problem. In the meantime, you can always e mail me at cyrstih@yahoo.com or comment on my Google+ account.

Thanks! 

Humor-Nobility-Connie and Bruce

For some unknown reason a couple nights ago, I did see the humor in all of this MtF gender transition and remembered that Connie had commented some time ago on the same subject and her buddy Bruce Jenner. 

"One of the most important things Bruce said was at the outset of the interview, asking that we keep a sense of humor about all of this. Humor can go a long way in easing the suffering of slings and arrows, as well as in keeping our own nobility."

For sure humor does go a long way when you are transgender. At least with me, every so often I have to stop-crawl down off my pedestal and think damn I have been taking myself all too seriously AND have a sense of humor.

During these times I wished I did live closer to Connie and be heckled or be the heckler at one of her performances. The problem being (other than distance) - what she could say to me would be totally different than the rest of the world. I know we share the same pathway and humor is good!

Personally, I have never been good enough to ease my public suffering with humor. Deep down I know how well I'm able to navigate the world as a trans woman in the present and future- I will still have to suffer the idiots who nearly fall out of their chairs when I walk by. Or worse yet, glare after I use the rest room. Then again, I feel the same way when I see all the slobs walking down the street close to where I live.

Nobility? Only when Connie does't see me fall off my pedestal.