Give A Guy a Break?

Not so long ago we found ourselves here in Cyrsti's Condo discussing why a man would date and love a transgender woman- specifically a pre opt one.

I'm the first to always admit the male "admirers" in our culture for the most part saddled with an immediate negative stereotype.  I feel bad after the fact when I do it because I am the last person who should be stereotyping anyone.

To carry the conversation a bit farther, I just received this comment from Michellewhois:

I know that the guys that I dated as well as lived with were so gentle and affectionate. The only reason I didn't stay with them was back then to be marked as gay was a career death sentence. Only one guy that I lived with for several years left because he wanted children that I couldn't give him.

Michelle's comment carried me back to basically one of the few admitted gay men who was trying to transition as transgender I had ever corresponded with. At the time, she was getting hammered terribly from her job and former "friends".  Michelle didn't clarify if the gay death sentence was for her at work or them but either way, thanks for bringing up a whole different look at ideas we don't often read around here in the Condo.

For whatever reason, my dating experience with men has been very limited but I too have seen a glimmer of the type of man you speak of Michelle. When and if a relationship does develop between a trans woman and a man, it does have the potential of a powerful connecting of the minds as well as the bodies because we do have the potential to bring so much to the relationship table.

My most recent example came at my favorite "watering hole" when a 50 something guy ended up setting beside me (there weren't any other seats I could see. He was stuck!)  Finally, he got brave enough to talk to me about what beer I was drinking, and we ended up spending the next hour talking music, food and of course a bit of sports.

There was no doubt in my mind, he knew there was something "different" about me, but after awhile, none of that seemed to matter. 

None of this male interaction changes my commitment to my female partner but it is interesting that when I was going out into the world years ago as a cross dresser, I always was approached by women. Now it's changing to men. For sure, life is rarely boring.

Michelle, you didn't say, but I hope your life is coming around!

"Star Gazing" with Cyrsti

Quite the interesting look at my "stars" from my Friskyscope Goddess this week!

Libra:  (September 23-October 22): It’s time to stop faking loyalty to someone who isn’t giving you what you need. The sassy side of you will come out, giving you the ability to get on top and claim your turf. But just know that people have been waiting for this moment for a very long time and will have their hands out. Have some humility and get that team behind you, because having backup is crucial to victory now.

Perhaps this is the "quintessential" feminine passive aggressive showing it's not so pretty side to me?

My pick "guest" sign of the week is:

Aries:  (March 21-April 19): No boundaries can hold you back now, as all that you’ve wanted to say will find a way of coming out. Yes, frustration will make you pop off, as injustice ignites your anger and awaken your inner warrior. You’ll be out to set the record straight for dummies that didn’t get you the first time around — but this will be the last time you will so.

For a look at your "scope" follow the link above!

The Tale of Two Sisters

As I have written here in Cyrsti's Condo over the past week or so, I recently came out to my deceased wife's sister when her mom passed away.

While she "accepted" what I said with few misgivings, naturally she has questions and seemingly, the coming out process with her will be a work in progress with a good ending.

To give you a little background, she was as different from my wife as sisters can be.  She was the wild, flashy daughter and my wife the older, more responsible sister.  In other words, fire and gasoline on occasion - my wife wasn't short on temper. If you saw the arms crossed and the foot tapping, you got the heck away! During my marriage to her sister, she had 27 years to judge me and our relationship from the outside. It turns out that once again, I did a damn good job of being...a guy.  Not only did she not have an inkling of any gender issue I may have had, she keeps wondering how her "seemingly" more conservative sister stayed with me till her death approx eight years ago.

I simply said our business was on a "need to know" basis and no one needed to know.  It was far from easy but that's how it worked.  No one needed to know the "real" reason we were going to Columbus (to hang out as two girls or that when my wife wore makeup, either I did it-or she asked me for advice.)   In essence my wife and I were incredibly public people but no one got in.  Sadly now, my wife's sister is the end of the blood line in her Mom's family and in her own words "I (me) am all she has left, family wise." (No pressure?)

So now she gets to look behind the curtain of how I was able to deal so well with her extremely macho Dad, work a great job and deal with being bi-polar and transgender at the same time (before I really knew what it meant.)  The answer is easy, for the most part it was hell because as I lived a gender lie,  at the same time was selfish and dearly loved her sister, knowing full well I couldn't have both. But, I damn sure tried!

Interestingly, her and my partner Liz - and maybe my daughter to a lesser degree want to take my wife to task for her attitude of drawing the gender line with me.  I never could because, the parameters of her accepting a cross dresser but not a transgender woman were always drawn. I knew deep down inside, runaway trains were heading down my track at each other, only to have both derailed by her death.  At the least you can say, I'm a survivor because I was allowed to get up from the wreck and walk away a better person.

Speaking of Liz, she is due to meet up for the first time this weekend with my wife's sister, who is so paranoid about it. Forget about being transgender and all the easy "stuff" my family just wants to see who can interact with me period!  Keep in mind my first wife (the mother of my child) lives about 6 blocks away from where my wife's sister lives and my deceased wife's ashes are on the mantel.  None of them hate me, I'm just damn hard to live with!  Isn't there a country song "All my Exes Live in Springfield"?

As confusing as all of this is at times, the bottom line is how all of this has turned into such a fascinating look at how good of an actor I really was.

Finally, I have barely touched the surface with her on how she was actually my secret "idol." in so many ways.

I will "post" the results to you later!

"Family Matters!"

"Daddy! Is that you?"

I just found this and decided to pass it along to all of you here in Cyrsti's Condo.  For once I didn't even add one of my smart a-- comments!

Maybe I could call it our "Quote of the Day?"

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

"Too Beautiful for One Gender" describes this photo of yet another Mtf androgynous model Alberto Monterrosas.

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

"Ker Plunk!" Here comes a new Sunday Edition "fresh off the press!"  The coffee pot is on, so have a seat in your comfy "jammies" and lets get started.

Page 1.- Don't Look Now.  The big public relations "splash" this week was when previously androgynous super model Andrej Pejic, came out as transgender woman Andreja.  This move most likely wasn't a complete surprise to those who have followed Pejic's career.

What is important is what she (Andreja) said:  announcing on social media Thursday that she’s officially transitioned from male to female, and that doing so has saved her life.“As a transgender woman I hope to show that after transition (a life-saving process) one can be happy and successful in their new chapter without having to alienate their past,”

Now I would expect her to make talk show rounds on places like "The View" which would bcome decidedly become trans-centric after the recent appearance of Laverne Cox. (**Editor's Note-  maybe closet blond transphobe bigot Jenny McCarthy will keep her moth shut!)
Seriously, when coming out as transgender becomes rather "Ho-Hum" we will finally begin to ascend the power ladder in the GLBT hierarchy.  Pejic's move will certainly help!

Page 2.- Women Drivers?  A topic this week in the "Condo" which garnered much attention were the stories of being "caught" cross dressed as a woman behind the wheel of a vehicle. Just jump back two or three posts and catch up if you haven't!!!!

As Mandy commented, there is really no way to control the other drivers of the world and driving cross dressed (or en femme) does have it's inherent risks.  No way around it.  My original point to the discussion was, if you are really thinking about transitioning further, a little peak into what a woman goes through in a male dominated profession is when you have car problems!  We don't have enough space here for me to tell you all the dumb things I did when I first began to explore the world in my car as my feminine self.  These days though it's a bit different for me since I'm more confident of myself and more apt to understand a man trying to "over explain" why my tire does not hold air!  I'm not above playing  the "dumb woman" card just to get my damn tire changed! Somehow it's Karma. 

FYI Mandy et all, my little prayer for everything I do is, "But by the grace of the Goddess go I!"

Page Three .- Pot Potpourri.  This week I proved once again why I'm not the sharpest tack in the box by not taking my meds right and cheating myself out of approximately six months of a higher dose of the testosterone reducing drug Spiro. As I wrote last week, I really don't "measure" the girls too much but I do know I'm getting close to a full  "C" cup bra these days.  To me one of the bigger changes I have felt is the amount of extra "tissue" under my arms. I am fairly certain my Mom was a "D" or "DD" (we never discussed it) so genetically - on HRT, any thing past a full "C" cup may exceed my expectations.


Once again there seems to be a steady push going on to establish equal rights for transgender veterans.  In many ways, the Andreja Pejic of we trans vets everywhere is former Navy Seal Kristin Beck. (shown at left) It's important to note on Facebook she is pretty much disowning what happened to her in her first book "Warrior Princess". She has a new web site called "Lady Valor" you may want to check out.  The link is above. 

Finally, if you are a transgender vet, there is a survey for you to take from the VA.  If you need the link, please email me- cyrstih@yahoo.com.

Page 4.- The Back Page.  As I said, it has been quite the week around the "Condo" and I soooo appreciate all of "youse girls comments!" "Goddess willing and the creeks don't rise, have a great week!!!"

Pretty Boys and Beautiful Trans Women?

Mandy Sherman and Debra responded to our Cyrsti's Condo most recent Cover Girl of the day post. Mandy said:

"If the model is feminine and pretty in everyday life, spends most of her time as a female, and has trouble "passing" as a male when that is attempted, they probably should consider transitioning. For those going in that direction, best results can be obtained if the person is younger. 

Us old timers would have a much harder row to hoe. "

Certainly Mandy! Model or not, If a person is young enough, certain enough and in a rare nurturing environment-to at the least have the chance to go on puberty blocking drugs would be amazing!  In the meantime, we old timers didn't and have to do the best we can! I tell my mirror to "get over it" daily!

As far as the increasing amount of "androgynous" mtf models go, lets use Canadian Michael Knowlan  (left) as an example.

First, of course I don't know him but:

He reminds me of a "kid" who used to come and perform at an amateur drag night at a gay venue I used to go to.  This "kid" was as completely feminine as any person I had ever seen to that point and I wondered how he functioned at all as a boy?

As you said Mandy, these younger models lifestyles do and will tip their gender preference. Sure, many can look the part but how many want to live the part after they experience it? As we know, the jump from drag or cross dressing to transgender is HUGE! I think there is some sort of inner switch.

Plus, there always is the "Wow" factor going on right now of being a YOUNG mtf androgynous model and age does equal looks in women-unless the woman is on top her game!

My "age" example goes back to 2003 and "Soldier's Girl" and actor Lee Pace.  In the film, he did a wonderful job of portraying transgender woman Calpernia Addams. For the most part , he wasn't recognizable as a guy. Pace is on the right with Calpernia.



 But now he is equally unrecognizable as "her" in his new series called "Halt and Catch Fire."  Good Hollywood makeup to be sure as well as age too!  My point is-it it certainly easier for a pretty boy to transform himself into a beautiful woman but as with anyone else, looks fade with age. Then what?

"Gossiping" about this generation of androgynous, transgender and transsexual models is almost as fun as gossiping about  who is a cross dresser and who isn't in a womanless beauty pageant.

What's really great about this is, it seems the younger generation wouldn't be having this conversation anyway! For sure though,  the new generation of genetic model hopefuls have a whole different set of competition coming their way!

All Cross Dressed and Broken Down!

Unfortunately, I learned quickly in my cross dressing experience-my car wasn't the safe extension of my bedroom mirror at home.  First I had to get to it, potentially drive it past people I knew and hoped it didn't break down.

Again, I wasn't alone and not even on the same continent as we will read from Paula: (Paula's Place)

 A good while back (while Dinosaurs still roamed the Earth) I learned that a car is not a private safe place, I was dressed extremely inappropriately, high heel boots, leopard print tights and leather miniskirt (I know but have got better) not only was I deep in the closet at the time, I was so deep that I also sported a beard! I thought hat I was in a safe private place where I could indulge my little "hobby", and all was fine until I was stopped by the Police and asked to get out of the car so that I could see my tail light was out. The Constable who talked to me was good as gold, but his "mate" in the car behind was wetting himself laughing. Lesson learned!

Damn Paula! with all the love I can muster, rarely do I read of a person who has outdone me in the cross dressing crazy department! I am sure I have been the "butt" of many post "pull overs" police department stories.  Never did catch them laughing to my face!

However, you do bring up a great point.  Before you go into the world trying out all your "girl toys" you need to plan ahead ..at least with a story.  When I was doing drag at gay venues, it was pretty easy for me to tell any questioning cops what I was-doing -drag! If I stopped at a so called straight venue on the way home and got picked out of the crowd as a CD...same story. Most just figured I was a gay guy anyhow in a dress and makeup and left it at that. Those were the days I did though, get approached by quite a few curious genetic women.

I don't think it ever gets easier but now I mostly confuse a lot of people as I transition (next post) and my drivers license picture even looks very androgynous (says male) but is clearly me.  So first and foremost the police know I'm not doing anything terribly bad.  Usually just being stupid.

Transgender Vets! Uncle Sam Wants You!

Don't panic!  Don't be like me and have the reoccurring monthly dream I have about being drafted again! (Really I do!) I do know many of you have many worse dreams you don't talk about!


What I mean is there is a trans vet survey LGBT Survey currently being circulated by the VA.

They request passing along the link by email only.

If you have received crummy or great treatment during your stay in the military or now since discharge...(VA or not)  this is your chance to respond to it. OR if you are feeling trapped and alone-links are provided during the survey to help you!

Email me at cyrstih@yahoo.com if you want the link!