The Tale of Two Sisters

As I have written here in Cyrsti's Condo over the past week or so, I recently came out to my deceased wife's sister when her mom passed away.

While she "accepted" what I said with few misgivings, naturally she has questions and seemingly, the coming out process with her will be a work in progress with a good ending.

To give you a little background, she was as different from my wife as sisters can be.  She was the wild, flashy daughter and my wife the older, more responsible sister.  In other words, fire and gasoline on occasion - my wife wasn't short on temper. If you saw the arms crossed and the foot tapping, you got the heck away! During my marriage to her sister, she had 27 years to judge me and our relationship from the outside. It turns out that once again, I did a damn good job of being...a guy.  Not only did she not have an inkling of any gender issue I may have had, she keeps wondering how her "seemingly" more conservative sister stayed with me till her death approx eight years ago.

I simply said our business was on a "need to know" basis and no one needed to know.  It was far from easy but that's how it worked.  No one needed to know the "real" reason we were going to Columbus (to hang out as two girls or that when my wife wore makeup, either I did it-or she asked me for advice.)   In essence my wife and I were incredibly public people but no one got in.  Sadly now, my wife's sister is the end of the blood line in her Mom's family and in her own words "I (me) am all she has left, family wise." (No pressure?)

So now she gets to look behind the curtain of how I was able to deal so well with her extremely macho Dad, work a great job and deal with being bi-polar and transgender at the same time (before I really knew what it meant.)  The answer is easy, for the most part it was hell because as I lived a gender lie,  at the same time was selfish and dearly loved her sister, knowing full well I couldn't have both. But, I damn sure tried!

Interestingly, her and my partner Liz - and maybe my daughter to a lesser degree want to take my wife to task for her attitude of drawing the gender line with me.  I never could because, the parameters of her accepting a cross dresser but not a transgender woman were always drawn. I knew deep down inside, runaway trains were heading down my track at each other, only to have both derailed by her death.  At the least you can say, I'm a survivor because I was allowed to get up from the wreck and walk away a better person.

Speaking of Liz, she is due to meet up for the first time this weekend with my wife's sister, who is so paranoid about it. Forget about being transgender and all the easy "stuff" my family just wants to see who can interact with me period!  Keep in mind my first wife (the mother of my child) lives about 6 blocks away from where my wife's sister lives and my deceased wife's ashes are on the mantel.  None of them hate me, I'm just damn hard to live with!  Isn't there a country song "All my Exes Live in Springfield"?

As confusing as all of this is at times, the bottom line is how all of this has turned into such a fascinating look at how good of an actor I really was.

Finally, I have barely touched the surface with her on how she was actually my secret "idol." in so many ways.

I will "post" the results to you later!

"Family Matters!"

"Daddy! Is that you?"

I just found this and decided to pass it along to all of you here in Cyrsti's Condo.  For once I didn't even add one of my smart a-- comments!

Maybe I could call it our "Quote of the Day?"

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

"Too Beautiful for One Gender" describes this photo of yet another Mtf androgynous model Alberto Monterrosas.

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

"Ker Plunk!" Here comes a new Sunday Edition "fresh off the press!"  The coffee pot is on, so have a seat in your comfy "jammies" and lets get started.

Page 1.- Don't Look Now.  The big public relations "splash" this week was when previously androgynous super model Andrej Pejic, came out as transgender woman Andreja.  This move most likely wasn't a complete surprise to those who have followed Pejic's career.

What is important is what she (Andreja) said:  announcing on social media Thursday that she’s officially transitioned from male to female, and that doing so has saved her life.“As a transgender woman I hope to show that after transition (a life-saving process) one can be happy and successful in their new chapter without having to alienate their past,”

Now I would expect her to make talk show rounds on places like "The View" which would bcome decidedly become trans-centric after the recent appearance of Laverne Cox. (**Editor's Note-  maybe closet blond transphobe bigot Jenny McCarthy will keep her moth shut!)
Seriously, when coming out as transgender becomes rather "Ho-Hum" we will finally begin to ascend the power ladder in the GLBT hierarchy.  Pejic's move will certainly help!

Page 2.- Women Drivers?  A topic this week in the "Condo" which garnered much attention were the stories of being "caught" cross dressed as a woman behind the wheel of a vehicle. Just jump back two or three posts and catch up if you haven't!!!!

As Mandy commented, there is really no way to control the other drivers of the world and driving cross dressed (or en femme) does have it's inherent risks.  No way around it.  My original point to the discussion was, if you are really thinking about transitioning further, a little peak into what a woman goes through in a male dominated profession is when you have car problems!  We don't have enough space here for me to tell you all the dumb things I did when I first began to explore the world in my car as my feminine self.  These days though it's a bit different for me since I'm more confident of myself and more apt to understand a man trying to "over explain" why my tire does not hold air!  I'm not above playing  the "dumb woman" card just to get my damn tire changed! Somehow it's Karma. 

FYI Mandy et all, my little prayer for everything I do is, "But by the grace of the Goddess go I!"

Page Three .- Pot Potpourri.  This week I proved once again why I'm not the sharpest tack in the box by not taking my meds right and cheating myself out of approximately six months of a higher dose of the testosterone reducing drug Spiro. As I wrote last week, I really don't "measure" the girls too much but I do know I'm getting close to a full  "C" cup bra these days.  To me one of the bigger changes I have felt is the amount of extra "tissue" under my arms. I am fairly certain my Mom was a "D" or "DD" (we never discussed it) so genetically - on HRT, any thing past a full "C" cup may exceed my expectations.


Once again there seems to be a steady push going on to establish equal rights for transgender veterans.  In many ways, the Andreja Pejic of we trans vets everywhere is former Navy Seal Kristin Beck. (shown at left) It's important to note on Facebook she is pretty much disowning what happened to her in her first book "Warrior Princess". She has a new web site called "Lady Valor" you may want to check out.  The link is above. 

Finally, if you are a transgender vet, there is a survey for you to take from the VA.  If you need the link, please email me- cyrstih@yahoo.com.

Page 4.- The Back Page.  As I said, it has been quite the week around the "Condo" and I soooo appreciate all of "youse girls comments!" "Goddess willing and the creeks don't rise, have a great week!!!"

Pretty Boys and Beautiful Trans Women?

Mandy Sherman and Debra responded to our Cyrsti's Condo most recent Cover Girl of the day post. Mandy said:

"If the model is feminine and pretty in everyday life, spends most of her time as a female, and has trouble "passing" as a male when that is attempted, they probably should consider transitioning. For those going in that direction, best results can be obtained if the person is younger. 

Us old timers would have a much harder row to hoe. "

Certainly Mandy! Model or not, If a person is young enough, certain enough and in a rare nurturing environment-to at the least have the chance to go on puberty blocking drugs would be amazing!  In the meantime, we old timers didn't and have to do the best we can! I tell my mirror to "get over it" daily!

As far as the increasing amount of "androgynous" mtf models go, lets use Canadian Michael Knowlan  (left) as an example.

First, of course I don't know him but:

He reminds me of a "kid" who used to come and perform at an amateur drag night at a gay venue I used to go to.  This "kid" was as completely feminine as any person I had ever seen to that point and I wondered how he functioned at all as a boy?

As you said Mandy, these younger models lifestyles do and will tip their gender preference. Sure, many can look the part but how many want to live the part after they experience it? As we know, the jump from drag or cross dressing to transgender is HUGE! I think there is some sort of inner switch.

Plus, there always is the "Wow" factor going on right now of being a YOUNG mtf androgynous model and age does equal looks in women-unless the woman is on top her game!

My "age" example goes back to 2003 and "Soldier's Girl" and actor Lee Pace.  In the film, he did a wonderful job of portraying transgender woman Calpernia Addams. For the most part , he wasn't recognizable as a guy. Pace is on the right with Calpernia.



 But now he is equally unrecognizable as "her" in his new series called "Halt and Catch Fire."  Good Hollywood makeup to be sure as well as age too!  My point is-it it certainly easier for a pretty boy to transform himself into a beautiful woman but as with anyone else, looks fade with age. Then what?

"Gossiping" about this generation of androgynous, transgender and transsexual models is almost as fun as gossiping about  who is a cross dresser and who isn't in a womanless beauty pageant.

What's really great about this is, it seems the younger generation wouldn't be having this conversation anyway! For sure though,  the new generation of genetic model hopefuls have a whole different set of competition coming their way!

All Cross Dressed and Broken Down!

Unfortunately, I learned quickly in my cross dressing experience-my car wasn't the safe extension of my bedroom mirror at home.  First I had to get to it, potentially drive it past people I knew and hoped it didn't break down.

Again, I wasn't alone and not even on the same continent as we will read from Paula: (Paula's Place)

 A good while back (while Dinosaurs still roamed the Earth) I learned that a car is not a private safe place, I was dressed extremely inappropriately, high heel boots, leopard print tights and leather miniskirt (I know but have got better) not only was I deep in the closet at the time, I was so deep that I also sported a beard! I thought hat I was in a safe private place where I could indulge my little "hobby", and all was fine until I was stopped by the Police and asked to get out of the car so that I could see my tail light was out. The Constable who talked to me was good as gold, but his "mate" in the car behind was wetting himself laughing. Lesson learned!

Damn Paula! with all the love I can muster, rarely do I read of a person who has outdone me in the cross dressing crazy department! I am sure I have been the "butt" of many post "pull overs" police department stories.  Never did catch them laughing to my face!

However, you do bring up a great point.  Before you go into the world trying out all your "girl toys" you need to plan ahead ..at least with a story.  When I was doing drag at gay venues, it was pretty easy for me to tell any questioning cops what I was-doing -drag! If I stopped at a so called straight venue on the way home and got picked out of the crowd as a CD...same story. Most just figured I was a gay guy anyhow in a dress and makeup and left it at that. Those were the days I did though, get approached by quite a few curious genetic women.

I don't think it ever gets easier but now I mostly confuse a lot of people as I transition (next post) and my drivers license picture even looks very androgynous (says male) but is clearly me.  So first and foremost the police know I'm not doing anything terribly bad.  Usually just being stupid.

Transgender Vets! Uncle Sam Wants You!

Don't panic!  Don't be like me and have the reoccurring monthly dream I have about being drafted again! (Really I do!) I do know many of you have many worse dreams you don't talk about!


What I mean is there is a trans vet survey LGBT Survey currently being circulated by the VA.

They request passing along the link by email only.

If you have received crummy or great treatment during your stay in the military or now since discharge...(VA or not)  this is your chance to respond to it. OR if you are feeling trapped and alone-links are provided during the survey to help you!

Email me at cyrstih@yahoo.com if you want the link!

Picking Up Pat!

As promised in our last Cyrsti's Condo post, we were going to visit Pat's "roadside" breakdown:

 I have two events to relate

About a dozen years ago I was on a business trip that involved a 7 hour car ride through the middle of nowhere. I spent a night at a motel and took to the road in the AM wearing a brown skirt, black tank top, hose, heels, wig and makeup. About an hour down the road the car lost power and I saw black smoke billowing from my tail pipe. While the car was still coasting to a stop I stripped the wig, grabbed some slacks and tossed a shirt on top of my bra and tank. I did get a tow to a gas station on the other side of the middle of nowhere in a town with one gas station, one general store and two feed and grain shops, and while Gomer and Guber puttered about there were several other patrons (mostly women) waiting for their cars. I was very conscious of the outline of my bra and tank top and knew that the skirt under my slacks had to look odd and the hose clad ankles could be seen between by pant cuffs and shoes. It was an uncomfortable experience.

About 4-5 years ago I had dressed in a short coral lace dress, hose, heels, etc. and went for the first time to an LGBT bar. I had a few and was pulled over by a cop. Dressed as I was and having had a few adult beverages I chose to just sit, be polite and accept a ticket for speeding at 41 in a 30 MPH zone. Normally I would have had quite a bit to say about getting a ticket for 41 MPH.

As I said Pat, except for a couple different turns along the road (if our vehicles broke down or not) perhaps you would have found yourself on a HRT regimen too.  Mind you, I'm not saying that makes either of us better.

I'm sure we have many other readers here in the Condo, who have had similar experiences on the road and "back in the day" perhaps thought their car was "safe haven" to explore the world and their femininity. 

More on the idea in the next post!

Tow Me Baby!

Well, I'm certainly glad I haven't been the only one of us here in Cyrsti's Condo to be at the mercy of a broken down car and whomever.
I'm going to pass along this experience (and the link for more of it) from Paula, then one from Pat who experiences make her one turn away from being where I am now.

First Paula:

"I showered, shaved, and got myself presentable.   I had a solitary pair of trousers with me and this was the day I wore them, however as they are black slacks with a high waist and no pockets they are obviously fem, especially when coupled with fishnets, court shoes and a black satin blouse, my grey M & S jacket finished off this outfit nicely.   Though I say it myself I thought this was quite a classy look, just the little bit of the fishnets showing on the top of the foot and the odd glimpse of ankle, really making it a little bit special (dare I say sexy), rather than all plan black and grey.

After a good breakfast I was all set.   Unfortunately this was Gloria’s cue for a sulk.   All loaded up and ready to go, apart from a flat battery!   One of the hotel staff tried to give us a jump start but we could just not get enough power across to start the van engine ( a big old diesel can take quite a bit to get it going).   So they called a local garage to come to my help.   I was all packed away and the room had been cleared so the staff invited me to wait in the restaurant area, where the breakfast buffet was still laid out, after a couple of pints of coffee the truck eventually arrived.

I think they were probably pretty quick but when you are waiting these things always seem to take ages, add to that a certain nervousness about dealing with mechanics and garage staff in a language I am uncertain of dressed as was.   I have to say that the chap who came was fine, we just about managed to communicate, and the staff at the garage did there best.   At all times I was addressed either as Madam, or after they had checked the log book etc. as MadamG*&#$%n"

It seems Paula has an affinity for breaking down and in France and "French Loo's" go here to read more:

"On another occasion Gloria broke down in France, that was a lot more complicated full story here http://paula-paulasplace.blogspot.co.uk/2011/10/france-part-5-so-this-was-to-be-my-last.html"

We will get to Pat in the next post, after all she has broken down and isn't going anywhere!!!