It's a Small World

Yesterday was the day to have my fluids checked at my local VA Clinic.  As a point of reference, my clinic could be compared to an urgent care center on steroids and my much larger regional hospital center is 20 miles in Dayton (Ohio).

After being probed, tested and questioned, I'm happy to say my primary physician Doc told me all was well and go on with my life.  Of course none of that is as easy said than done when you are my age and on HRT. My primary risks are potential blood clots and mood swings because of my history of being bi-polar and my Mom's cause of death from heart disease.  Definitely, I do pay attention to both.

Of particular interest on this visit to my Doc (my second), he said he felt a certain closeness to my treatment because he has a Mtf transgender niece!  Even I was at a lost for words for a second.  It turns out the niece is in her 20 somethings and lives in the Chicago area.  Very quickly our conversation turned to my dealings with my endocrinologist, dosages of meds and future plans.  Even gender markers!

He asked of my dealing with the VA as a whole and I said the only problem I have ever had was getting someone in the system to prescribe my HRT meds.  My original primary would make sure I got them filled but he didn't feel comfortable in prescribing them.  My problem became getting the VA in Dayton to pay for me to go outside the system to find a endo-doc who would prescribe and monitor.  The process took me nearly eight months. If I would have had to pay for the outside doc myself the cost for the initial visit and others would have been over one thousand dollars. I should point out, all of that was about two years ago and much has changed in the system. As far as my meds go, my estrogen is about the same cost with my VA copay, but my Spiro is much less. (Spiro is what is prescribed to lower testosterone fairly commonly.)

Of course I understood after the appointment why my Doc seemed to have a little more empathy for me and of course was pleased with the prognosis I would live on for a couple more days or so. (Have a lot to do!)  I am also set up with a stable number of refills on my prescriptions.  On this visit, I did ask him about if I should ask for a mammogram because my maternal grandmother died of breast cancer and I was developing more and more breast tissue.  I am supposed to hear back soon.

Now, the next hurdle for me will be how all of this will work with my upcoming date with Medicare coverage when I'm 65. (If I make it through the party!)

Cyrsti's Condo "What If?"

Well dear, you always were harassing me about joining you and the girls some night and getting bored...I'm ready!

You ARE Gay Dammit!

Just when you thought it was OK to come out of the closet and be the NFL's first openly gay player (if he makes the team) Michael Sam was shown smooching his boyfriend after he was drafted. (Left) Of course many are in shock now over the public display of affection but if you ask anyone who has watched the draft closely over recent years-it certainly has looked on occasion that NFL Commissioner Goodell was leaning in for a smootch from NFL players on more than one occasion! So Sam's smootch was not the NFL's first man on man kiss!  Goodell had him beat years ago!

Speaking of the "G" word, if you recall me writing about the wife and daughter of the guy who mis-pronoun-ed me last night, the daughter made sure she didn't make a mistake with me.  When her and her Mom were having the conversation with me about being a transgender woman, Mom said something about me being gay.  Of course I said, I'm transgender not gay.  I had to love the daughter when she said: you (me) are here with two women, your partner is a woman and you identify as a woman-you are GAY! 

I said you are right!

Never a Dull Moment

Last night I met up with a couple of my friends - for the sake of information, both are genetic females who identify as lesbians.  Now that I got that out of the way, both of them were fired up by the time I got to our meeting place ( a very straight sports bar). One is leaving tomorrow to visit her son in Africa who is serving in the Peace Corps and the other was just more exuberant than normal.  I was later (than normal) because a tornado touched down about 20 miles from where I live, so naturally I was watching the weather. Fortunately, it hit in a very rural underpopulated farm area. If you read Stana's Femulate blog, she was coming to Dayton and that's the weather she was talking about.

No more than I was getting comfortable with my first beer-here came the cheap shots.  Mind you now, I can give as good as I get but I usually like to get the first salvo in.  As it turned out, not much longer into the evening, along comes the biggest cheap shot of all, and not a funny one.  There is an ex marine (older than I am even) who I worked with for years in there to quit mis- pronouning me.  He was getting better and was down to the occasional "man" reference and then stopped it all together-until last night.  He walked by me and said "how you doing Sir?"  This time, I didn't let it go and turned around and said WTF John, what did you just call me?  He started to mumble and blush and did apologize and scurried away.  My friends were kind of shocked and I don't know if they even knew the full extent of what went on until I told them.  It's always an interesting gender dynamic between them and I in that they so totally accept me as me.  When someone tries to mis gender or pronoun me, they get puzzled as to why.

My one friend couldn't resist the opening and said the only male she reads in me is my total non acceptance of any other sports teams other than my own.  Keep in mind, she is as much a sports fan as I, so I told her that comment only proved what she doesn't about sports.

As it turned out, the night was far from over yet.  Later on, John returned with his wife and 45 year old daughter and they made him apologize again.  That was nice, but not needed but it turned out the wife and daughter had a true desire to know what makes a transgender person tick. (Like I knew?) Kidding, both of them were real good people and we did do a little classroom education about trans people.  It's just so difficult to explain the various layers of our community without losing everyone's attention.  I pretty much got through the basics of how I was married, in the military, played football and did all the man things the best I could. It just wasn't me and yes now I am different from a cross dresser in many basic ways including the hormone replacement therapy I was on.  

So as you can tell, there never was a dull moment except when I woke up and  had to shake off the hangover this morning!

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

"Hang in there.  Just don't let the rope get too tight!"

Cyrsti Hart

Cyrsti's Condo "What If?"

From the look on his/her's face, she/he just goosed him! Or the cross dresser is thinking "Finally! Another way to check out how I look in drag!"

"Cross-dressing Couple in theatrical Costumes - Tintype Portrait taken in the second Half of the 19th Century"

Busier Than a One Armed Paper Hanger!

I think this was one of my famous phrases in the daily management communications log in one of the restaurants I worked in "Outta Time, Outta Money, Outta Luck!" (The evening was particularly tough.)  The statement could describe to a degree the rest of this month for me.

Liz and I are only two weeks and a couple days from the Trans Ohio Symposium weekend May 30, 31, and June 1st.  My workshop will be the same as last year-the basic where, how and whys of how I was able to begin HRT and transition so late in life.  Liz, on the other hand should be doing her own workshop about being the partner of a person who does.  The dynamics of how we identify alone, causes many heads to spin.

As of now and probably in the foreseeable future, both of us retain our birth genitalia. I retained my sexual attraction to women as did Liz.   All of that is simple enough until everyone wants to know how Liz and I met and was it when I was more or less a guy.  (No I wasn't.)

Perhaps a workshop could be called "The Taboo of Trans Lesbianism and It's Effect on the Gay and Lesbian Community."  Then again, I'm lucky to get done what I have to do, with workshop handouts etc.

I have also given myself a deadline to get my book "Stiletto's on Thin Ice" E-published by then.  I'm going through the "Vook" publishing tool, from which for a fee, they distribute to Amazon and Barnes & Noble. In order for all that to happen I have to leave an extra week of time.  So, using anther time honored expression from my Dad growing up, "It's time to S__t or get off the pot."  As you can see, I'm a "outta time person writing."

In the cash department,  no difference either.  I knew coming into all of this and taking an early Social Security retirement, I would have to scramble to make ends meet-and I have.  So now,  I'm not buying any new sun dresses for a Caribbean cruise.  I would just get sick on it anyhow!  I'm just trying to scratch together a few extra sheckles for some party time in Columbus (Ohio) which is a wonderfully diverse city.

Finally, I have always believed luck is what you make of it.  When I set myself up to do dumb or impossible things, I did fail and vice versa. Sort of like thinking the mini skirt and heels I wore to the mall so many years ago was a good idea! Now,   to the best of my ability, I think what I'm doing at Trans Ohio is the right thing for the right reasons and at the end of the day-that's all I can do.

So forgive me if Cyrsti's Condo is looking a little dusty these days.  Maybe I can get one of those cross dressed  "French Maid Sissy Types" (Pictured at left.)  to come clean it?  Will she work for fish nets and heels?

Cyrsti's Condo "What If?"

Well honey....about the "other woman's" clothes you have been finding around the house....

Why Won't Those Hormones Talk?

If you would have even suggested to me a year or so ago I would be going through all the mental adjustments I am now on HRT, I would have suggested you were as crazy as I am.

But, as I do continue to play more and more in the girl's sandbox, I came up with this description of how I feel about one aspect of my dealings with genetic women:

"More and more, I know how you feel and why you feel it but I still have a very difficult time talking to you about it."

Such is life on the transgender divide.