Transgender and Genetic "Sisters"

Around here in Cyrsti's Condo of course we have literally kicked around the idea of how "admirers" and other men react to transgender women or cross dressers.  What we haven't discussed much is how genetic women react to us. Are we really "sisters"?

Yes, of course we are.  If you compare us as "sisters" we are no different than many genetic women and their "blood" sisters. I can't begin to tell you the number of women I knew over the years who were as different as night and day to their sisters.

I believe we interact on a "sister" level and share many of the same concerns as genetic women if they like it or not. We have the same security, interaction and appearance issues, to name a few.  In fact, transgender women experience all of those on a much larger scale.  We have to work harder to present feminine, communicate feminine and we all know how in certain places in the United States and around the world, trans people are considered expendable.

In my case, I believe what nature didn't give me in the genetal area as a trans woman, she gave back to me with my knowledge of both genders. So, I'm secure with what I bring to the table as I interact with my genetic  "sisters".

First, I don't threaten any of a woman's core instincts. I have entered her "sandbox" and she doesn't have to deal with any male ego or sexual tension. I'm firmly entrenched on her "turf".  Second, women "don't have to hate me because I'm beautiful" and I do my best to dress "feminine appropriate" everywhere I go and try to never force any issue.

What happens is many women are intrigued that I am more than just a "guy in a dress" and obviously have entered some sort of androgynous world.. All of the sudden, the word transgender is not so hard for me to explain, for them to grasp and the fun begins. Unlike men, who have the ultra paranoia about someone switching teams, women wonder why you want to join their team.  What's your angle,  how much do you know about playing on the team and "oh yeah" there is still that question of the pesky male life you used to live.  What's up with all of that?

So you see, we really are "sisters".  We have discussed here in "the Condo" how the majority of transgender persons and cross dressers have interacted with more women than men our entire lives -  We know more than a little of how the process works. Just enough to make us dangerous.

The difference becomes as you transition more and more into the genetic feminine world, they pull out all the stops.  You tossed your guy self in the trash.  Now you have to be ready for the ground floor course at how sisters really react.

Cyrsti's Condo "Woman of the Day."

California Transgender activist 18-year-old Eli Erlick. She's a transgender high school graduate of Willits Charter School in Willits, and she's also the executive director of Trans Student Equality Resources.

Yet another "non stealth" closet dweller!

"Pat's Resolution"

As you regulars here in Cyrsti's Condo know, Pat is a regular contributor in our "comments" sections and should have a 2014 resolution to start her own blog.  She addresses a particular niche in our community of a person who navigates somewhere in between a cross dresser and the bottom transgender threshold.  If indeed she took off to her own blog, I indeed would miss her comments for two reasons:

The first is she makes sense, the second is I need her material on days I can't think of anything to write about.  Yes, that does happen!

Here are examples.  Sometime ago Pat pointed out : One of the benefits of being a CD or even a TG is the ability to change sizes, shapes, etc. I am essentially a CD so I find I can pick from several different bras of varying construction and dimension and then pick what to use to fill them with. I have a large set of silicon breasts as well as a smaller rounder set. I have a few sets of foam inserts, some chicken cutlets and a few home made forms. I also like the ability to pick a wig and change my look in that fashion.

So true!  On occasion before I became a transgender "citizen" I remember the good old days when I could pick from several wigs and looks!  I lived in my mirror (which lied to me continually)  before I went out the door. Being told what I wanted to hear was wonderful,  until I got laughed at in the first store I went to. Dammit! I wasn't the sexy woman the mirror told me I was?

As Cyrsti took on a life of her own, people I knew picked up on the image of who I was on a day to day basis.  Also the more full time I became, like any genetic woman, the time and effort to put my best foot forward to the world just had to be streamlined. You have seen my last picture, the no photo shopped, the no glamour boutique photo. It was just me, not giving Jennifer Aniston a run for her money! I catch myself muttering the same thing a few of the women I have been close to during my life said "well, it doesn't get any better than this, let's go."

Which brings us back to the idea of "Drag and the Transgender Woman". Many times I have written how much fun it was to do drag again at a gay venue in the past and I have an idea to take that a step further in 2014!

Out and About

Two transgender women who forsook the stealth closet in 2013 have made the news again:

Fallon Fox, the Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) fighter who came out transgender in March, said in a GQ profile that passing is everything. The 5-page story follows Fox, 37, as she prepares to fight Ashlee Evans-Smith. Along the way, we learn that Fox wasn't always sure she wasn't a boy. “There was no time to think about that back in East Toledo, Ohio, in a house where fearing the Lord was a full-time job,” GQ wrote. 

As early as 5 or 6, Fox experimented with girls' clothing. “I stood in front of the mirror, and I knew it was right,” she said. “But it also meant I was damned. I mean, that seemed totally logical to me. You feel that way and you think you've got the Devil in you, just like they say.” “Where I came from, it was more shocking to be an atheist than to be transgender,” Fox said. In 2006, Fox boarded a plane to Thailand to undergo sex reassignment surgery. She went alone. 

“Passing becomes everything, everything,” Fox said. “Every time you go into a Starbucks and there's nothing in someone's eyes, it feels great.”

And there was  Lana Wachowski, (right) who transitioned in 2002. She's one of the most influential directors in Hollywood, having inspired a generation of filmmakers with her Matrix trilogy. Quite the outfit! 

T

Cyrsti's Condo Featured "Lady of the Day"

Today we feature two of the classic female impersonators Holly White and Kicks Wilde!

And So It Was Christmas!

Well, jolly old St. Nick has come and gone again.  I hope your Christmas was as good as mine. I must be doing something right!

I'm fortunate, the family I left is very close to me.  Some know I'm transgender and others suspect I simply have an extreme affection for women's clothes. This year I was able to put all that drama in my noggin aside and simply go as what is left of my guy self.  I was selfish to a degree but I've learned the hard way how life can change from year to year and next year I know mine will for reasons I will get into later.

For the moment though, I hope your Christmas experience was a positive one because I know for so many of us in the transgender community it just isn't. We aren't as lucky as our so called "brothers and sisters", in  the G and L communities. They simply have more developed resources to deal with holiday stress and we are tragically left in the corner alone. Even several gay venues opened for Christmas dinners around here, so everyone had a place to go. Thanks to fewer trans folks bolting immediately for the stealth closet, hopefully next year will be better for all of us too! I know I feel much more comfortable meeting my local G&L group now that I made a special point of introducing myself to them last summer.

Next week of course is the New Year, a time to take stock of the past and look forward to the future. Without dreams and goals our lives just sit and wither away.  Between now and the first, I'm going to share my 2014 "resolutions" with you and all my friends here in Cyrsti's Condo! Get your pen and paper ready!

"Bag-O-Rama"

Several times in the past here in Cyrsti's Condo, we have discussed the contents of one's purse.  It has proven to be an entertaining subject which has drawn plenty of response from you ladies here in "the Condo".

Check out this video version compliments of "Melissa Carmen" on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen. Of course she is gorgeous and  I just love her accent!

Jersey Girls?

According to The Advocate:

On Thursday, the New Jersey senate passed A4097 (previously labeled S2786) by a vote of 21-11. That affirmative vote now sends the bill to Gov. Chris Christie's desk — putting the fate of thousands of transgender people's legal identification in the hands of the Republican governor. If Christie vetoes the bill, it's unlikely that the legislature could override that decision, since state law stipulates that 27 senate votes and 54 general assembly votes are needed to do so. As it A4097 passed through the legislature, it garnered 21 "aye" votes in the senate, and 43 votes in favor in the general assembly.

As law currently stands, individuals born in New Jersey must prove that they have had some form of gender-confirming surgery before they can update their birth record. These surgeries generally cost tens of thousands of dollars, and often are not covered by health insurance, leaving many transgender individuals either unable or unwilling to undergo this method of treatment. Many trans individuals opt to medically transition solely through hormone replacement therapy. As New Jersey law stands currently, those individuals are not able to update their birth certificate. 

Most federal forms of identification can be updated without proof of surgery. Records with the Social Security Administration, U.S. State Department, and Department of Veterans Affairs can updated without any sort of surgery, instead requiring an affidavit from a medical provider that confirms an individual has received appropriate clinical treatment to transition. The discrepancy between the requirements to update various forms of identification can leave many transgender individuals in an unenviable position, where various forms of identification do not match up, leaving these individuals open to increased scrutiny, suspicion of fraud, and nonconsensually being outed as transgender.

For those of us transgender folk who don't see SRS in our future, any of this news is of importance to us. Plus, if indeed New Jersey Gov Chris Christie is going to try to make a presidential run, this would be an early indication if this Republican is going to attempt to broaden his political base or again keep the Republicans in the political dark ages.

"Duck Soup Leftovers"

Good or bad, I'm sure "Duck Boy" Phil of Duck Dynasty didn't spend his Christmas tuned into all of his clans old shows.  I mean what could be better than to celebrate the birth of Jesus with such an enlightening message of brotherhood and love which Phil delivered. In the meantime, more comments continue to roll into Cyrsti's Condo about "Duck Boy"...

"Randie Scott" wrote:

You raise some interesting points. I've never watched Duck Dynasty, most likely never will. My reaction to this whole thing is an employer should not be able to fire someone, or so called suspend, because of a personal belief. On the other hand the press didn't waste anytime running with the ball either. It could very well be a publicity stunt.

And Mandy Sherman:


Until the issue arose, I hadn't even heard of the program, and didn't even know what it was. (I must live a sheltered life.) Our television has never been tuned to DD, and never will. Nor do we now, or plan to in the future, buy or use any of their products (I first noticed the bin of DD hats in a nearby Walgreen's last week...). IMHO, this whole unfortunate dust-up certainly has the strong aroma of a big publicity and ratings stunt. And for that reason, we no longer watch anything on A & E, either... Ladies, vote with your wallet, and your remote control....

I know what you all are thinking.  How long is Cyrsti going to keep beating this "dead duck".  For the present, right now but whoever it is has to know when they enter the public arena, they should not be able to use what pulpit they have to bash gays, lesbians and surely we " invisible"  transgender folks who are tossed in the mix.  I have a very good idea of what Duck Boy Phil can do with one of his duck calls.

Hey, it's America and if he has a right to say it, I have a right to blast him.