Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl of the Day"

Trans singer/songwriter, actress, dancer, artist, and writer Cadence Matthews stops by "the Condo"

The Future is Now?

For a transgender person of my age demographic, stories such as this from Yahoo News  simply are amazing.  It seems, groups of younger people are working to broaden or eliminate the whole idea of the gender spectrum.  All of the sudden, the old transexual, transgender and crossdresser hierarchy, is becoming irrevelant according to Genny Beemyn, director of the Stonewall Center at the University of Massachusetts, Amherst who recently wrote:  " the vast majority of students who identify under the trans umbrella identify in some way outside the binary, and that's really causing a shift on college campuses" .  Of course there is much more to the story from Yahoo:

OAKLAND, Calif. (AP) — The weekly meetings of Mouthing Off!, (left) a group for students at Mills College in Oakland, Calif., who identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender, always start the same way. Members take turns going around the room saying their names and the personal pronouns they want others to use when referring to them — she, he or something else.

 It's an exercise that might seem superfluous given that Mills, a small and leafy liberal arts school historically referred to as the Vassar of the West, only admits women as undergraduates. Yet increasingly, the "shes" and "hers" that dominate the introductions are keeping third-person company with "they," ''ze" and other neutral alternatives meant to convey a more generous notion of gender. "Because I go to an all-women's college, a lot of people are like, 'If you don't identify as a woman, how did you get in?'" said sophomore Skylar Crownover, 19, who is president of Mouthing Off! and prefers to be mentioned as a singular they, but also answers to he. "I just tell them the application asks you to mark your sex and I did. It didn't ask me for my gender." 

Of course the transgender topic was involved too:

The nods to novel pronouns and nonconformity are an outgrowth of campaigns for gender-neutral bathrooms and housing that were aimed at making campuses more welcoming for transgender students moving from one side of the gender spectrum to the other. But as fewer young people choose to undergo sex reassignment surgery, such students are slowly being outnumbered by peers who refuse to be limited.


What's the world coming too??? A MUCH better place!   And just when you think this pronoun/language issue is getting to be a bit too complex:

Mel Goodwin, youth program director at the gay and lesbian community center in Las Vegas, said getting the hang of alternative pronouns can be tricky in conversation. Goodwin, 28, claimed they as a preferred pronoun four years ago and it took time "to unlearn what I had been taught about gender." Yet when people object to they as being grammatically incorrect, Goodwin counters that modern English is to blame and that scholars, writers and linguists have spent more than a century trying to come up with gender-neutral pronouns that stick. In public presentations, Goodwin also refers to a map that shows historic and contemporary cultures around the world that have recognized more than two genders. "This is not about young people in the U.S. over the last 20 years kind of coming out of the woodwork and making up labels that aren't real," Goodwin said. "This is a real variation among humans, period."

Well, it's time for old dinosaurs such as me to head off for my nap- feeling good about the future!

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl of the Day"

From Wikipedia:


"Patricia Araujo was born into a middle-class family in Governador Island (Rio de Janeiro), Brazil, and named Felipe. At 12, Araujo kissed a classmate, Andre, inside the public school where she studied. This event generated rumours that came to the school board's attention, and Patricia was persecuted by the supervisor. Thinking that the employee's intention was only to help her, Araujo confessed she was gay. As a result she was expelled from school in 1997 whilst still in seventh grade. After the incident, Patricia confessed to her parents, Severino Araujo and stay-at-home Terezinha Araujo, both evangelicals, that she saw herself as a woman, not a man and was attracted to boys.

Her older brother, whose name she does not disclose, wanted her to be expelled from the house because of it, but her parents supported her. Patricia began to dress as a woman, and guided by a transvestite who lived near her home, began taking birth control pills to become more feminised.

Slip Sliding Away

On the Cyrsti's Condo big screen, a video MtF transition video from Asley Jones.  A classic example of one gender sliding away and a new one beginning:

Kelly Summers

I can safely say I have never ran across a video which had such a powerful effect on me. Immediately I noticed Kelly didn't have the thin "female ready" body style so many video MtF transgender women are blessed with. In addition, she wasn't very young which also adds to the ease of transition. All of that aside though, I was mesmerized with her lifestyle which in many ways mirrors what mine is - or could be. In rapid succession, I smiled and cried with Kelly. I dedicate this video to Liz...she will know what I'm feeling!


 

My First Black Friday

Before "Black Friday" exploded into it's present day shopping mania, it was the day the women I knew bonded together and attacked the malls and stores of the world searching for their favorite gift or gifts.

Of course I placed the chance of finally being able to shop the Black Friday madness as a woman very high on my "feminine bucket list".  Years ago the sun, the moon and the cross dressing stars aligned and I had my chance.  My wife worked retail and she was working and I wasn't, so I used the excuse of buying a gift for her and went "Black Friday" shopping.

I bundled up in one of my favorite over sized soft sweaters which were so in fashion, added low ankle boots, jeans and gloves and off I went into the world.

By that time, this experience was far from being my first "shopping rodeo" so I was experiencing little or no anxiety about navigating the crowd as a woman. Of course I was just doing my best to blend, shop and soak in the estrogen charged atmosphere.

I was "out and about"  for about four hours and it was time for me to head home.  As with most other experiences you fantasize about for years, Black Friday wasn't as good as I imagined but then again, all I thought it could be. The majority of the other shoppers were women and were hell bent on gift buying and could care less about any potential cross dressers or trans women in the crowd - unless I got in their way. I was able to do a little shopping, buy a few gifts and enjoy the experience.  However, similar to my thoughts about the "sanctity" of the womens rest room, I didn't see what the fuss was all about.  The same way I'm sure many women feel about male bonding and sports.

Ironically, I have never felt the need since to venture out into the shopping madness which is "Black Friday" again. I did however begin to do almost all of my Christmas shopping as a woman from that point on.

Those experiences are coming up in future posts here in Cyrsti's Condo.

Throwing the Right Switch

Lynne passed along a comment she read from a cross dresser "on line" acquaintance which I believe was worth sending along to you for your thoughts, here in Cyrsti's Condo.

I'm going to highlight a couple excerpts:

:"I am not a therapist, psychiatrist, psychologist, or any kind of expert on matters of sex and gender. However, I am, among more important things, a crossdresser.  I accept this part of me as a form of artistic expression. The art (or craft, if you like) is in being able to superficially transform into an attractive woman using fabric, pigments, and jewelry applied to a masculine body. Doing so to a feminine body is, well, not much of a challenge, is it?

It is entirely possible that visually-stimulated sexual development of males during the teen years, compounded by the plethora of confusing social inputs, can establish a crossdressing habit. I believe for most, crossdressing is a form of sexual exploration in the beginning, a way to have access to a virtual girl, if you will, to satisfy oneself. Part of this has to do with the fact that in many societies, sex is verboten among children, often well into the teen years. This makes sexual exploration very difficult, especially for boys living in a paternalistic culture where notions of virility are very important. 

Crossdressing, or playing around with frilly things belonging to mom or sisters is a way, perhaps, to explore this taboo thing called sex. Eventually, the frilly things get worn, makeup is added, etc. Doing so in secret, living in a society that will accuse a boy of being a sissy or worse, amplifies the sense that a boy is doing something wrong, and hence shame becomes a constant companion. For most men, I suspect this continues on, since memories from our formative years certainly remain, contributing to an evolving understanding of sex and relationships. 

These men may chose to suppress it due to shame or family issues, continue to push the envelope across the spectrum of fetish, or, like me, explore crossdressing as an artistic option that compliments painting, drawing, or whatever. In the latter case, the sexual connections have long disappeared, and the activity has become performance art mixed with the thrill of doing something society often thinks is deviant or wrong, even though it is not considered so among those who are enlightened. But for a minority of men, crossdressing may have revealed something about gender identity, which previously may have been latent or simply misunderstood. I cannot speak much to this, since I know nothing about it. I leave that to others more well-versed on the subject than me."

Here is where I jump back in.  I too can not speak to the numbers of cross dressers compared to, transgender / transsexual women or men.  I just know I went through the process where the sexual connections disappeared very early in my cross dressing process. Being a railroad buff, I compared it to being "switched" onto another track all together.  For years I stayed on the track for real or imagined reasons. I did suspect though, I was on the wrong track and sooner or later derail.

I did derail - or rather my life did in a big way. It had nothing to do with being a cross dresser or transgender woman.   All I do know is, in the process,  I had the best chance of my life to be "switched" onto a new gender track.  I took a deep breath, hitched up my big girl panties and bought my ticket.  Very quickly though,  I knew beyond any shadow of a doubt, I was finally where I always should have been. I will forever remember the moment of deep seated warmth and well being which enveloped me one evening.

Similar to the person who wrote the original post, I'm not an expert either, just someone who has been riding the gender rails for over a half century now.  I just happen to be semi literate enough to write about it.

If by chance, the person who did write this does stop by the Condo, I would love for you to take the credit and read more of your thoughts!

Cyrsti's Condo...Rocking Androgyny

From the Ukraine, Androgynous singer Boris April. Before and after!

Cross Phobia on CBS

Billie commented on our Cyrsti's Condo "Transphobic Make Over" post:

"We cross dressers have always been the butt of jokes .. and sometimes more! It's sad that society still does not take us seriously save for the one thing we can (and most of us) do! I ask, are we to blame in there somewhere?"

Indeed you are right Billie, cross dressers, transgender women and more have been the subject of jokes.

I think several factors are in play.  First of all, comedic drag characters have always been popular as are womanless beauty pageants.  Ha, ha, look at the funny guy in a dress.  The whole concept is just a chance for an easy gag for the writers who are too incompetent to be better.

Another factor is over the years we have created our own cross dressing charactertures. I did it myself "back in the day" going to stores and malls in short skirts and high heels.

Finally Billie, it's time to put the blame where it belongs and put a halt to all of this. No matter what I did years ago at the mall should influence creative comedic writers today. Destructive jokes and comments which damage our standing in the world have to stop, no matter who was to blame in the past.  All of us have ignored this trash too long.

Surprisingly though, this is one area each of us can be a "force of one" to effect change and  stay in the closet to do it. I hate to quote "Tricky Dick Nixon" but the greatest potential force in the crossdresser/ transgender community is the closeted  silent majority.  Think about it,  no one needs to know our motives when all of the sudden we decide "not to buy" Barilla Pasta, why we refuse to watch Mike and Molly or we quietly just don't buy the show's sponsor's products. Remember, the most effective protests are often financial.

Look at it this way too. If we don't follow the lead of the Gay and Lesbian communities and exact change from these bigots, we should be blamed!