Cyrsti's Condo Book Nook

Is it my imagination (fertile ground to be sure) or are there more and more non fiction books these days which are written about the transgender experience?

Here's another:  My Brother My Sister :

Which has been chosen by Publishers Weekly as one of the Top Ten Memoirs of Fall 2013

"On a visit to New York, the brother of well-known film critic Molly Haskell dropped a bombshell: Nearing sixty, married with children, Chevey revealed he was transsexual and would begin to live openly as a woman. Despite her longstanding liberal views, Haskell was dumbfounded.

 In My Brother My Sister: Story of a Transformation, she recounts the steps in Chevey’s transition, while candidly exploring her own emotional journey, from shock and bewilderment after the initial announcement to a place of acceptance, empathy, and love for her sister Ellen. Throughout the book Haskell turns her critic’s eye on herself, but also broadens her lens to include psychoanalytical and scientific research, meditations on sexual anomalies in art and mythology as well as previously published memoirs such as Jan Morris’s classic Conundrum.

 This is a memoir that pulls no punches in its exploration of a controversial, delicate subject. Through Chevey’s transformation into Ellen, Haskell has produced a cultural map of not only her sister’s experience, but of gender roles and transsexualism in a world increasingly governed by notions of individual identity. My Brother My Sister is tender, honest, informed, and at times a humorous must-read for anyone who has ever struggled to discover who they really are."

Look for the review in review in Sunday's NY Times Book Review.

If we again pause to take a look at the "big picture" of transgender mainstream education, this effort from Molly Haskell is yet another person who possessed the knowledge and expertise to push her experience with a transgender family member into the mainstream press.

Go here for more.

We Got Mail!

First time commenter Laine wrote:

"This is my first time reading your blog, care of the link on Google Plus. I keep hoping that I will be able to skip the adolescent phase, but then I run into a wave of giddiness over something that I was never allowed to experience before. I still get bouncy just from having social time with girl friends and it feeling right, us socializing properly rather than with the inherent awkwardness that occurs with boys around. I think part of the Princess phase is that you have to push hard to cross over the line before you find your happy medium, in most cases." Thanks Laine!

"Princess Jim"

Hi Laine and thanks for the comment! Indeed the transgender adolescent phase seems to last forever and in many cases no one (including me) wanted it to end. In reality though, we probably aren't in the "A-phase" any longer than a genetic girl, it's just tougher for us because of the time of life when we happen to be going through it....say 40 something. Plus many times we are under pressure to go adolescence again  totally alone - without the cool social time you mentioned with your girlfriends. I agree, you have to make your way through the process before you have any idea of who you are. The process dictates you rather than the other way around.

Here's where my "Princess" tag came from. Approximately 2,000 years ago as I first became totally immersed with my femme looks in the mirror, my wife was fond of calling me "The Princess". I credit her blunt critiques for getting out me of the mirror and gay clubs and into taking a took at the reality of a feminine life.

She passed nearly six years ago and I often wonder if she ever knew how she unknowingly laid the ground work for my MtF transition. I know I will always feel the impact of a fashion "critique" or two somewhere in my subconscious from her.

I do think though, even the most jaded genetic woman would admit there a little bit of the "Princess" in every woman, genetic or trans.  The princess just adds a touch of mystery or spice to who we are!



.

What Would Thomas Edison Say?

A chance to re-invent yourself? Really? I'm thinking Edison would have to invent the transgender word first of all and take the credit away from Virginia Prince (who didn't coin the term either)

Nice topic.  Many feel they aren't reinventing themselves as they go from one gender to another of their choice. After all,  they were born with a few gender switches in the wrong positions. Indeed they are right.

On the other hand, most don't know immediately of exactly which switches are in the wrong position, what to do about it and have the support structure to do anything about it.

Which means, most of us, transgender women or transgender men simply do carry an imprint from living a life outside of their mental or chosen gender. We learn from observation or participation how the two primary gender binaries dance. For example, most of MtF trans women are up to a passionate debate about the so-called benefits of "male privilege"

So in a sense, no matter how many of the trace elements you are carrying from your birth gender- you do indeed have a chance to reinvent yourself.

Take the guy on the bike to your right.  Growing up as a male child did you wonder why women were mainly attracted to the "bad boys"? But now don't you secretly want to be the "chick" on the back of his bike? Or have his kid? ( Well maybe that's a little extreme!)

The point is, to even consider any of this is as special as it is confusing and painful. Really, how many members of the human race have or considered starting all over in a new gender?

It is also a subject which scares many people outside the transgender community. We make men very uneasy about their sexuality and/or aggravate women who for whatever reason don't want or need perceived competition in their sandbox.  In many circles we are viewed with distrust simply because we have glimpsed behind the curtain of both binary genders, rather than  ignoring the idea we could be ambassadors of understanding.

We trans folks indeed are from a planet between Venus and Mars and have had a special seat on the gender fence since we all lived in caves. Sadly in many cultures we used to be valued for our potentials!  I'm sure you have probably heard of the Native American cultures (and others) who believed in genders between the binary male and female.

Unfortunately, our seat on the fence is ours alone to ponder and it's not without it's own pressure.  As I constantly learn to process the world from a feminine viewpoint, I am guilty of using my male imprint to maximize my life. What bothers me more is though,  I'm also guilty though of not being more understanding of the where's and why's of input then  making the wrong decisions.

Now you will have to excuse me, I have to go jump on the back of a Harley!

Just Plodding Along?

When life slows down for me, I just have tell you all I feel a little guilty. I struggle to write much about my day to day existence.

I can tell you though what I never dreamed would happen and it is.  I appreciate the fact that in the morning, I somehow know immediately if the effects of HRT have stepped up or stayed the same. I love the fact that through a combination of tedious repetition and the effects of feminization I'm pretty much able to navigate the world similar to any other woman. I cherish the group of friends I have, the family that supports me and a person who is crazy to consider spending the rest of her life with me.

I'm an adrenaline driven person, always have been. It's interesting to me how this transition process in essence has become more mundane and how do I feel about it? Is the thrill gone? For the most part it is. Here's an example:  The electric charge of a new outfit or the stepping out the door as a girl just isn't there. Why is this good???

First and foremost my adrenalin rushes were very shallow and didn't give me a real look at what a feminine existence would be. Here's a comparison from "back in the day" when I had a cross dressing acquaintance who was also a fireman on a nearby large urban fire department He often connected potential dots between the excitement of fighting a fire versus dressing as woman.  Ironically, she connected quite a few more dots and finally went through SRS. I have lost track of her but it would be interesting to learn of her feelings now.

So here I sit with my self described "Princess" cross dressing phase way behind me  The problem was, the Princess and I never got along. I had a deep sense of feeling something was still wrong deep inside when I was cross dressed or not. Finally it turned out,  I was given the golden opportunity to search for an answer for myself.

The answer was and is, I needed to transition and in a lifetime of less than intelligent gender decisions, I made the right one.

I'm guessing the feelings I'm having now are just part of the usual gender "re-socialization" process. To be sure I want to have the perfect hair and the best "look" for the occasion but now all of that has taken a back seat to enjoying the company of my friends.

I know it seems I'm just bitchin and whinin.  In reality though, I'm attempting to take all of us through this next step in my transition journey.

As we undertake this most difficult of all ventures, I believe our souls give us direction signs. I was given a very vivid one as I crossed the threshold from cross dresser to transgender.

I was naive enough to think I had arrived as a trans woman then reality set in. Surely, I'm right in the middle of that reality now and the only certainty is, I love it!

April Ashley

More than likely April Ashley, the 1960's transsexual icon, would have never dreamed her life's journey would have taken her to this place.

The 78 year old April is the focus for a new exhibition which opens on September 27 at the Museum of Liverpool. Her "Portrait's of a Lady"  will explore the story of the woman who was one of the first people in the world to undergo pioneering gender reassignment surgery.

To be sure, April Ashley's story is as current today as it was in the past: Born George Jamieson, the former model's remarkable journey went from suicide attempts and people spitting in her face to Buckingham Palace.

April in Liverpool

If you do not recall her story, April Ashley was outed as a transsexual in 1961 and her career was destroyed  and essentially she never worked again.

Through all of that though April refused to be bitter and got on with her life.  Eventually she was awarded the MBE for services to transgender equality: given to her by Prince Charles (left) who said it was a long time coming. She was also instrumental in bringing about changes like the Gender Recognition Act in 2004 which allowed her and others in her position to have her gender reflected on her birth certificate.

Of course there is much more to the April Ashley saga, go here to read more.

Cyrsti's Condo Fashion Tips!

From Fabulous After 40:


5 Classy, Casual Ways To Rock Your Jeans This Weekend!

"Looking for some new ideas for how to look casual but polished on the weekend? Here’s a style recipe that takes a pair of basic jeans to a totally new level. All you need to do is start with a pair of dark wash, bootleg jeans. Dark wash look classiest over 40 and are super slimming, compared to faded or lighter blue jeans. A bootleg cut flatters all body types because the slight flare balances out your hips. If you don’t own a pair of dark wash bootcut jeans, they are a worthwhile investment that never go out of style."

Dark Bootcut Jeans by fabafter40 featuring Wallis jeans

Wallis jeans
wallisfashion.com

"Next, open up you closet and take a look inside. Do you have some tops, a blouse, a camisole and perhaps a jacket or two? They don’t have to be fancy. Basic will do. Maybe they look rather plain and boring hanging there, or you think they are too conservative to go with jeans. Don’t over think it. Get them out so you can start to play."

I think the key for we transgender and cross dressing women is over thinking the process but there are so many reasons we do it!

Follow the link above for more "real girl" fashion ideas!

Thoughts from Afar

As you all know by now, I'm fairly good at sticking my nose into things I don't know much about here in Cyrsti's Condo.

Every once in a while I do get curious about the transgender man dynamic and how it works. Essentially,  I know enough to make me dangerous. Over the years of course I have my own observations, current and past lesbian friends as well as my close trans guy buddy.

Recently, I found a post from the SF Bay Times called "Where have all the Butches gone?" It's an interesting look at where the "jumping off" point from identifying as a "Super Butch" to a transgender man is. Actually, I think the line of demarcation is similar to  presenting as a cross dresser versus living as a transgender woman.  Over the years, I have known a couple of butches who gave me a run for my money in the masculinity department...but...as far as I knew they identified female. No different than the super femme gay guy who looks great in drag but never has never had a question with his gender.

What makes the process so much more interesting to me is that the lesbian community takes sex and gender to a different level..Years ago I had a lesbian acquaintance tell me about the inherent complexities with a woman living with a woman. Or worse yet finding one to even date. Two summers ago I was fortunate to go with a lesbian friend of mine to see a female entertainer and the whole room was filled with all the social levels of the lesbian culture. From super butches to femmes and everyone in between, they were there.

So I can't even begin to tell you where have all the butches gone.  For all I know, the title itself is maybe becoming a little outmoded.  As the entire gender/sexuality picture becomes increasingly fluid these days, labels aren't so important.

Being selfish though, I loved it one night years ago when a butch "parted the waves" to get me served at a gay bar in Columbus, Ohio.  They sure know how to treat a girl!

Neighbor Girl

Although we have never really met, Josie actually lives in the same area as I and this is one of her older video's on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen:

One of My Favorites

Every now and then I rediscover a video or two I haven't seen for awhile that I felt were special for any number of reasons. It could have been the man before and after, pure drag queen or a wonderful transgender video.  It's fun now since I can pass them on to you here on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen to take a look: