I've Had my Shots!

I'm not shy about telling a curious or standoffish person "I've had my shots and won't bite unless provoked". Normally, it's quite the ice breaker and the other person finds it humorous or heads for the other side of the room.

As of a couple days ago though, I did have all my shots, fluid levels checked and tires kicked at my local veterans administration clinic. For some reason recently Momma Karma has been kind with me on my doctor visits. A day after I called whining about my back pain, the nurse asked if I could come in about an hour because my new doctor had an unexpected cancellation. My social calendar was empty and there I was at the clinic looking androgynous as I do complete with my long pony tail flowing from the back of my hat.

As I have written before here in Cyrsti's Condo, this first visit to my VA Doc was not without potential problems.  My previous Doc rubber stamped my HRT scripts from my endocrinologist so I could get them filled inexpensively with my VA copay.  There was no guarantee my new guy would.

To make a long story a bit shorter, he prodded my back and gave me some ideas on over the counter meds to alleviate the pain.  I wasn't sure if I or he would bring up the very prevalent estrogen meds in my prescription list. So as he was going down the line and mentioned the "Spiro" I was taking, I jumped in and said "maybe I'm your only transgender patient and this is how the deal was working with my former Doc". It turns out he has absolutely no problem with continuing the program and even wrote down for me a few specifics to make it easier.

I left the clinic that day thinking he may just be the best doctor I have ever had and not just because he would refill my HRT meds. Very unusual for a doctor to have such wonderful communication skills.

On the way home as I stopped to pick up generic pain meds, I can't say the back felt much better then. I thought it would sooner though with the weight off my shoulders worrying about my HRT scripts being filled - and you know it has!

So yes, I have been folded, prodded and stuck but for the time being looking to stay around for awhile.

Cyrsti's Condo Quote of the Day

"The hardest person to out run or hide from...is yourself"

Cyrsti Hart

Really?

Perhaps you have heard of the protests in our community in Portland, Oregon over a production called Tranny Thursdays.  These excerpts come from PQ:

"Criticism of a new Portland play (read: sex) party called “Tranny Thursdays” is exposing tensions in the trans community over language, identity, and public image. Promotional materials for the monthly event promising “private, intimate, discrete time with Trannys” have sparked confusion regarding the intended audience, objections to the use of a word considered a slur by many, and concern with the “Ladies Night Out” take on gender dynamics.

“No more grubby bookstores or seedy adult theaters!” writes promoter and host Sasha Scarlett (aka Joshua Ryan, who identifies as a drag queen/gender illusionist). Scarlett, who also produces the Portland Erotic Ball and runs a media company, says she launched the play party after some of the “‘straight’ men” she’s dated asked her to do more “trans/gender-flexible events.” “I have been exploring my sexuality and have met other trans-identifying gurls and their admirers,” Scarlett tells PQ. The party is “intended to allow people interested in talking, mingling, becoming acquainted"

Huh? Talking, mingling, becoming acquainted? Do the "gurls" bring a covered dish or just plenty of protection? How many of you have frequented adult book stores or seedy theatre's recently to find "friends"?

When is the gay male Rude Paul attached community going to wake up and quit the gender slurs? You have to give credit to Ryan on hitting all the slurs:  "Trans identifying gurls"? Gurl or Grrl or whatever is a fetish centered cross dresser to me and absolutely sends me into orbit when someone calls me any of those. I have worked hard to educate all those around me that I am not any of them or a drag queen. To each their own but it's bad enough when I see the distasteful fetish guys in drag photos on line.  I can only wonder "what were they thinking?" Is it any surprise when "admirers" come knocking who are looking at me as some motel room babe his wife won't find out about?

Ryan should have aptly included  "she male" term which would have been more appropriate than the other terminology.

Here's the deal, it's just a blatant money grab at our expense. One big clue is where it is being held. The Velvet Rope (formerly Angel’s Social Club), is described as a Southeast Portland club equipped with hot tubs, a “gang bang area,” a dungeon, and private rooms, as well as a social space with pool tables and food. Admission is free for “gurls” but $35.00 dollars for "admirers". A step up from grubby book stores or adult theaters?

Excuse me, I have to go. This is so greasy and disgusting I have to go take three showers to get the dirt off.

Classic Female Impersonation

On the Cyrsti's Condo big screen, Danny La Rue:

Carmen Carrera Photo Shoot

Perhaps by now you have heard of or seen the beautiful transgender model/actress  Carmen Carrera. (right)

If you have or haven't, it's worth your time to go here to check out the WMagazine chorus girl photo shoot.

I have posted two of approximately 12 pictures as a sample here at
Cyrsti's Condo.

Living the Dream

One of my two thousand eighty eight pet peeves is when I ask someone "how you doing" and they say "I'm here".  Not good karma! I'm finally to the point of saying you may want to see if there are any openings in the cemetery down the street. Now the newest come back is "I'm living the dream" which is much better to me. In many ways I am living the dream right now.

If you would have asked me ten years ago if I would have the life I have today, I would have never thought it possible for good and bad reasons. Then again, dreams do get mixed in with nightmares.

The bottom line is I don't believe in luck but I do believe in opportunities and everyone has a "glass ceiling" of sorts.  Somehow you are given the cards to get to a certain point in your life. How you play those cards decides your life. Very simply, transgender cards were dealt to me early in my life and I had to opportunity to play them later on.

Playing my cards now is simply a way to break my gender glass ceiling and live a dream. The only problem is at 63 (almost) I don't feel even close to getting up from the table.  Has to be another dream I can buy with my cards, right?

I have picked a video to play on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen of another transgender person who is playing her cards. Enjoy!

Trans Leak

A photograph of Wikileaks leaker Bradley Manning wearing makeup and a blonde wig was released yesterday by the army as part of documentation related to Manning's trial.

It's the first such photo of Manning, who is transgender. The photograph was attached to emails Manning had sent to a therapist, Capt. Michael Worsley, and an NCOIC, Sgt. Paul Adkins, about gender identity, in which the army private expressed a belief that a career in the military might "get rid of it."

Manning's lawyers introduced the email to Adkins and accompanying photograph as part of the trial.

Not the best of a public relations coup for the transgender nation.

I guess you have to be careful what you "leak" because old pictures may come back to haunt you!

It Does Get Better

You probably have heard of the It Does Get Better public relations effort which began some time ago to reach out to TGLB youth. Nothing is more tragic to me than the stories of trans kids who are subjected to extreme bullies and ignorant families. Ultimately suicide is the only answer for some.  So sad! Despite the age difference, most of their problems are similar to ours.

The fact remains though, what does and doesn't the campaign mean to the "more mature" transgender age groups? Actually everything and then again not so much. Bottom line in any self help campaign is : "what does it do for me?"

In essence we are still our parents trans kid peeking out from the closet to see what's going on. The problem is, the closet over the years has become very full of the baggage we have accumulated. We have painted our self into a corner of the closet with few alternatives. Such as these simplified examples:

Number One is going down with the ship. You have hidden your gender issues for so long, what's the problem with a few more?

Number Two are the final solutions. You can't stand the pressure anymore and you check out with suicide or you go ahead come out before you harm yourself.

Number Three is cautiously checking the waters. and slowly come out into the world.

No matter of age, the only way anything gets better is effort. Check the link above for effort on the highest level!

We Got Mail!

Our fancy high tech Cyrsti's Condo mailbox has been jammed full of responses lately.

 From Shelle  :"It is always risky to play in any part of the girls sandbox for girls like us, we are likely on most occasions to dig up something similar to what a cat may have buried there." True!! I'm afraid I have had some of the "buried treasure" dug up and tossed at me too but over the years I think I'm learning a little about how the cat fights too! What's that television slogan I'm seeing now? "Men fight wars, women wage battles."

Then to a couple comments on our FtM post. The first from Paula: " It is a great shame that so often the F to M seem too be ignored by the "T Community" I sometimes wonder just what sort of community it might be."  I used to think that too Paula. Sometimes now I believe the trans men are the force now in our community. What has helped me are the discussions I have had with my trans guy friend Draco. I wonder too what the future holds for the women and men of the transgender community.  For whatever reason I think stealth still hurts our side of the group more than the guys but I have absolutely no solid evidence to base my idea.  Let's call it trans woman intuition!


Finally, on the same FtM subject, Pat commented:
Many years ago I had a matter which called for some research into the medical issues involved in TS surgery. I recall finding one article in the medical literature written by a surgeon who did both MtF and FtM surgery and I will never forget this quote, "It is easier to dig a hole than plant a pole"

All you can say is all those years of medical school paid off for that surgeon!

Thanks to all of you girls! and guy!