Transgender Bathroom Rumors

From the "The Huffington Post" comes a post on a subject near and not so dear to me...restroom priviledges. As any accomplished transgender person knows , the whole affair of simply going to the bathroom can turn into a major event.
This perspective comes from a trans man:

"Believe it or not, I am a guy who likes to leave my house from time to time. Occasionally I'll be out, you know, people-watching in the local park, shopping downtown, or cruising around and making frequent stops at the tiny indie cafe in my gentrifying Brooklyn neighborhood, inhaling pints of coffee on the hour. Sometimes I'll even drink water. Eventually the time comes when my bladder has successfully been filled and I'll have to, you know, empty it. I'll find the nearest public restroom and use it. As long as there's a stall with a door, of course.
As a "transitioned" transsexual man, it's easy for me. Again, as long as there is a stall involved. I can't stress that enough. This man needs a stall. Because he sits to pee. Because he still has a vagina.
Now, as an adult, using public men's rooms has gone from a newfound glory to an inspiration for feelings of constant paranoia. It doesn't matter where I am -- it could be at the SoHo Bloomingdale's bathroom or at a truck stop in middle America -- there is still that sense of dread. I'm comfortable with the "plumbing" I was born with and don't want to change it, and I choose to not use a "stand-to-pee" contraption, but the flip side to that is I can't use a urinal and have to use a stall. Many times there is just one lone stall and the door has been ripped off, or it's out of order. Sometimes I have to visit three fast-food places just to find a bathroom with a working stall. Even then, when I'm halfway there, comfortable in the stall and ready to let the urine fly, I am convinced that the sound of the stream hitting the toilet bowl water sounds drastically different from the sound of pee exiting a penis and hitting the toilet water, and that the bathroom police await my exit so that they can tell me I'm in the wrong place and to tell me that they know my body is different from theirs, that they know my past and what's in my pants. And that it actually matters."

I've written several times of the trials of using the women's room and yes I've been told not too by one manager and even had the cops called on me once...for just going to the bathroom.
I know the situation is not going away. In fact the restroom is the only paranoia I'm feeling about my upcoming exciting "Witches Ball" evening.
I really feel out of place in the men's room (obviously) and just don't want to compromise my ideals.
I too worry about the sound of my pee hitting the bowl. Does the woman in the next stall over notice?
So I won't compromise my ideals and look like a total fool using the wrong restroom...the man's.
The feeling of relief I have each time I'm able to use the proper restroom is two fold. The first is obvious. I had to go! The second is less obvious. The bathroom police weren't summoned.

Transgender Halloween Photo

Check this picture of Halloween icon "Elvira".
Except it is not Elvira...it's David Shawn Micheals!

Hey Dude! Nice Costume! (From Last November)

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Halloween Party?

Due to work obligations, I knew my Halloween this year was not going to happen.
I didn't give the matter much thought as I entered my usual hang out last Friday night-and walked right into their Halloween party.
I almost panicked!  A Halloween party is one of the hardest places to present as an actual female. People are obviously looking for all others in costume. "Ha Ha dude, want a beer? Nice costume" is exactly what I heard one place last year when I went to one of the biggest Halloween street fairs in the state. Unfortunately I was just dressed as me...no costume.
This year again I  was just in jeans and a sweater as I quickly surveyed the scene and got ready for reaction.. I saw about half the group was actually in costume.
I was sure someone would spot me as a possible costume contestant but  I was able to find a seat at the bar with no trouble. I got no reaction.
Soon, after my first beer, it was time to survey the crowd to see if anyone else was dressed as a girl. Interestingly enough, the only remote possibility was a person across the bar wearing some big blond hair. "He" turned out of be one of the female managers in costume and probably wouldn't appreciate my thoughts on her costume. She made a great "drag queen"!
I guess you could say my Halloween was real boring this year for all the right reasons!

A Transgender Girl's Favorite Holiday?

In my own part of the world, Halloween is the second biggest holiday behind Christmas.  It is absolutely HUGE!
I was searching through some of my older posts for Halloween stories.
Of course the season is a prime time to sneak out of the closet or even out yourself in the process. If you recall one of my earlier posts, I mildly outed myself after one memorable Halloween party in the Army of all places. In those days "transgender" wasn't even a word and I admitted to a fondness for women's clothes to several close friends.
For you girls who I will refer to as "accomplished closet dwellers"; when you do head out, someone will notice how accomplished you are! By the way, I meant nothing at all negative about the comment. I understand the closet well!!!!
What I meant was you have achieved an attractive female personna that no one else has seen. If you decide to attend a party with friends and or acquaintances, they will notice you girl! The solution of course, is to go to a party or a club where no one knows you.
Of course, I've done it both ways. I timed a couple
"business" trips to be out of town and out at a couple big Halloween parties at straight clubs. Quite a rush!
On the other hand I took the compliments and the questions in stride when I attended parties with people I knew. A typical question was "don't your legs itch since you shaved them... but you really have great legs!"
As we approach the big day, I will "dig out" any old posts I can find and just have some fun with the subject!

When Will We Be Able To Call Her Transgendered?

"Male" model Andrej Pejic with her latest fashion coup!
Here's the story:
"The new issue of German magazine Schon! features a gorgeous, blonde
femme fatale, with smoky kohl-lined eyes, long fair hair and ruby red
nails... she’s gorgeous... except she is actually a he!"
Well...maybe?

Costume Idea?

No "Silly Peeps" she is not a pirate wench!!!!!!!

Visiting the Witches Caldron as a Transgender Girl

Before I know it, the "bewtiching" hour will be upon me. A week from now a friend and I will be attending a "Witch's Ball".
As I sit here multi tasking (yes I can) I'm gently picking out one of my favorite wigs I washed today and writing a blog post. Tommorow I'm attacking the costume shops in the area for the perfect look for the evening.
You notice I didn't say costume. This is not a Halloween costume party per se'. I went to the web site and saw participants dressed as witches (duh), pirates and even belly dancers.
In reality my costume choices are limited. The belly dancer idea is intriquing but not really a look I could come up with very easily; leaving the witch or pirate girl idea.
A sexy witch is a posiblity but do I really want to try it in a room full of people who take the practice seriously?
Will I get turned into a black cat? (Just kidding!)
By process of elimination, aaaargh matey! Your pirate wench has arrived! probably will be the way to go.
The fun part of shopping for the outfit will be the accessories! Some sort of short skirt and fishnets will go a long way in showing some leg and a blousy top with a corset style vest may be the safe way out.
The night however will not be an evening to be safe with my outfit! So I will be on the prowl for something exotic to put this pirate wench on display.
Another interesting possibility of the evening is that I could very well be one of the few or only transgender girls there.
I would love to be never recognized as anything but a sexy pirate wench!!! Fun is fun however and what ever happens my friend and I should have a blast!
Maybe I will be able to sail on the pirate ship on Halloween?

No Autographs Please!

My bestest friend told me I could be just dealing in paranoia. (Me???)
The walk from the waiting room to my psychologist's office at the VA Center is quite long.
My first two visits, the halls had been roughly empty.
This time people seemed to be coming out of the woodwork. The people all seemed to be professionals who worked there.
As we made our way into her office, I almost asked my therapist if everyone just happened to know my appointment time and knew the exact moment we were going to walk down that hall to her office.
I didn't because I had more important things to think about and certainly it wasn't the first or last time I have been the center of attention and curiosity.
If indeed the whole incident was a creation of my own paranoia...so be it.
On the other hand, if the staff stopped their day to look at me; it shows how little the particular VA Center I go to knows about transgendered vets.
If that is really the case, I feel good to be the pioneer woman who opens the doors for others.
But REALLY, try not to stare. Come on!

Transitioning Without Hormones?

As I write this post, I wonder how many different directions it can go.
You know I don't often jump into the cat fight between the transsexual and transgendered camps.  I don't have time for the bitterness.
Speaking of bitterness I surfed across a blog that one of you may have seen. Of course I can't seem to back track to where I saw or read it.  The main point of the transgendered woman's post was disagreeing with a "gold star" transsexual view of basically the rest of us poor transgendered "wanna be" women.
The definition of a "gold star" transsexual is a person who assumes the female gender and is absolutely gorgeous. (basically)
Since I fall into the category of the poor downtrodden transgender "wanna be", I started to think of how I really felt about the situation.
I know no matter how long I try and how many hormones I take I will never achieve the "gold star" status. I feel so very fortunate to be able just to interact in the world as a female as much as I do.
Also, when I read or hear a "gold star" put herself up on a lofty pedestal, I always believe somewhere in their male past they always wanted to be really good at something. That something just happened to be a beautiful looking female.  Maybe they are just are the best looking guy in the room. (I've told you in the past I knew someone like that.)
That is just me playing in both sides mud hole and I'm moving on. Life is too short for their petty arguments.
The discussion does raise other personal questions however.
As I have posted in the past, I really wonder where my "internal transition" fits with either group. In response I asked my therapist what she thought. What did she think about my recent subconscious feminine reactions to movies, music. language etc. Obviously without hormones.
My psychologist brought up the "gender cube". Basically, the cube lists nearly 30 different sexual/gender combinations from "straight hetero male" to whatever. When I bypassed the transgendered categories altogether and identified with a masculine feminine female; she simply said I had been burying my true self. My inside self just had never had the need to transition. Just being open to who I really am (I realized) was transitioning without hormones.
By now, you are wondering what point am I trying to make.
Since I am not planning on any radical surgery, will the "gold stars" ever accept me as much of a woman as they are? (Even though I am feeling more and more as one?)
How many of them are still really just guys who became enamored with the pretty girl in the mirror and simply went for more?
Better yet...who cares? I guess sometimes I do!