Crossing the Line

As promised, back to this hair thing.
Of course, we have discussed breasts seemingly a zillion times here in Cyrsti's Condo.
Now it seems,  we have a ways to go in the hair department.
The more I write seemingly the more there is to write.
I wrote a bit about looking androgynous but now I want to add a little extra.
With my hair the way it is now, I think I have taken a huge step in looking natural.
That's good, right? Absolutely and the public dynamic instantly changed for me. Eons ago, Janie Black wrote a piece on her blog (I paraphrase) "would you rather be a bland woman or an attractive trans girl?" Remember, I paraphrased a lot.
Basically, all of the sudden, you are just one of the crowd and not the center of attention.
For all intents and purposes, I'm arriving there and it's a real adjustment.
To be truthful, I guess there was some sort of ego involved with the fact that if I couldn't be a real attractive genetic woman, I would do my best to be a real attractive transgender woman.
In essence "Your a good looking woman-for a man."
Then I changed all of that this week.
It turned out going in for my first serious hair styling turned out to be the biggest move I've made since I took my first dosage of Estrogen.
Wow.

Closure

I've been trying to find the words to describe this week and close it out and get ready for what's next.

Perhaps one of the more exciting parts of all of this is I'm in another "warp speed" phase of life. In a little less than two weeks I have my appointment with a new doctor which I call my second phase of HRT.

As I do with most of my major transition events, I have a tendency to become more than a little withdrawn to consider what just happened.

I always considered my hair was going to be a Major piece of the puzzle. How big it turned out to be- I wasn't quite prepared for.

First of all, the obvious. I took a huge step to becoming complete- head to toe. All of the sudden, I became androgynous. With the help of the hormones, all of the sudden my hair tipped me towards the feminine side of the spectrum no matter how I was dressed.

Then there were the fun things such as the visit to salon after I calmed down and their reaction to my hair.
I have mentioned I'm very fortunate to have no male pattern baldness in my family and of course my hair has not been subjected to a lifetime of treatments. No coloring, no perms or heat just naturally gives me a younger fuller head of hair. My daughter commented how bitter she was that she "didn't get my hair instead of her Mom's". Of course my BS detector was figuring daughter and stylist were just being nice but she took my grand daughter back there a couple days later. It turns out the crew wanted to compliment her on my hair and wanted to see the completed process. As you remember I had to go as a guy with three days of beard to be evaluated on facial hair removal. Ironically, the first time my daughter saw me as me was in the same crummy picture I posted here.

There is more to this of course which I'm going to get into in my next post!

Jumping off the High Dive

Back in the day,

one summer my parents hooked my brother and I with a summer membership at a local municipal swim club.
All of that was well and good and the swim club provided swimming and diving classes. What wasn't so well and good were the times when our Mom decided to come to the classes.
She wanted to make sure her money was well spent and her sons were being taught how to not sink to the bottom of the pool when trying to swim. Again, being the mental giants we were-we learned how not to sink to the bottom. Good deal.
Then of course she decides if that was so successful, why not enroll us in diving classes? Really? It was not as if we were heading to the U.S. Olympic Diving Team any time soon. The biggest problem for me was though was jumping off the high diving board. I have never been fond of any height over approximately 10 ft. The 600 foot high board (seemed like it)  was intimidating to say the least.
My Mom was a proponent of "if it didn't kill you, it would just make you stronger" school of child raising- so guess who had his rear up on that board.  Looking back on the moment, I did learn one thing. From that diving board I could see half a continent away... The Rocky Mountains from Ohio.
You certainly are thinking by this time, what the hell is Cyrsti's point this time? (You are lucky you and I don't text!)
Here's the deal.
I have been on the high board quite a bit this year and just as scared as I was so long ago.
I have been fortunate enough to have four very close friends and family which have made it impossible for me to not jump off that board in a very positive way.
I tell quite a few folks I'm not totally sure of how I arrived here-but I sure do love it.
In reality though, I do have an idea how and those people had a hand in it.
I believe only one of the four reads the blog and that would be Liz. Another of course is my daughter.
This is my thanks for pushing me off that damn board!!!!!

I'm trying hard to put a couple pictures of my new hair cut today. I apologize for the overall quality and promise to pass along some better ones later!

Just Another Dose of Nirvana

I guess it's really true- you don't don't know what you are missing if you have access to it all the time-or you have never had it at all.
Sort of like the apple pie your Grannie used to RARELY make when you were a kid. I' m sure if I had it every night, the pie would grow commonplace or if I never had it? Who cares, right?
Today, I went to an upscale full service hair salon-compliments of a birthday gift from my daughter.
OK, I was scared to death. The thought alone of deciding on a hair color alone was giving me cold chills. Another reason I was scared (I realized) came from thoughts I had after a conversation with a close female friend last night. I came away from the talk with the frightening relevation that almost any woman I had ever known in my life hated her hair after the trip to the salon. How was I to be any different?
Well, you all know I'm pretty shy and withdrawn but dammit! What's wrong with all of you? Sure, I understand a hair butchering job as well as the next girl BUT...
As I was waiting for the dye to set in my hair on a soft couch with a cup of coffee and fashion magazines all over the place-I could see it looming on the horizon.
Then, when I was being shampooed and being given a mini facial-I arrived... Nirvana.
Look, I know it's expensive but I know if I could afford it I would be stepping into the same estrogen filled environment as soon as I could.
Was today worth the wait and the fretting? You know it was.
After I come down off this cloud, I will pass along more of how I was an idiot and missed the Nirvana stop for years.
In the meantime, all you genetic women must have been trying to keep this part of your existence a secret for a reason???  It's wonderful...why all the complaining?

Across the Pond

19 year old Brit Ryan Mckenna. After Ryan's body started to take a decidely feminine turn: (left)






Also from the UK:
Carla, 47, (right)  was once Paul and split with his wife Jane two years ago to live as a woman — Carla. Carla grew her hair long, dyed it blonde and had her facial stubble lasered away. Jane moved out of the family home but the kids have stayed — and they love Carla to bits.

More Nepal

Call it Karma, or just some sort of unexpected piece of timing but just after my post on Nepal's capital Kathmandu I found this story. From the Nepal Mountain News:

" In a landmark decision, the Cabinet has agreed to provide citizenship to a post-operative transsexual who changed sex from male to female. Caitlin Panta, (above) earlier Pratik Panta, is the first Nepali to have changed gender through a sex reassignment therapy (SRT) procedure this January. The decision has opened up doors for those wishing to change their sex and avail of citizenship under the changed sex. Pratik Pant (inset) and his new look as a female after he changes his sex (file photo) A Cabinet meeting on September 3 had instructed the Nepal Medical Board (NMB) to find out whether Panta had changed sex and if there were any feelings of apathy after changing the sex. It was also instructed to assess Panta’s mental state and if there were any behavioral changes. A three-member committee formed at the NMB certified Panta as female, confirming the sex change."

Kathmandu

As you may or may not know, Kathmandu is the capital of Nepal in the Himilayas.
Decades ago in a land and life far, far away-Kathmandu took on an almost mystical place in my life.
As some of you know, my time in the Southeast  non war we fought in was served in Thailand.
So yes, I too took a trip to Bangkok and like some of you, not to stay long. We were quickly shipped north to an area 50 miles south of the Mekong River.
If you know any of the "culture" of the time, you probably have heard the term "Thai Stick" which vaguely described different forms of marijuana. Needless to say where we were stationed was known for the real Thai stick.  It's rumored that my friends and I took advantage of the location and the home grown Mekong Thai Stick.
Six months into my tour a friend and I had a chance to fly round trip to Kathmandu for a ridiculous small amount of money. Here we were with a chance to go to the mystical capital of Nepal where few have gone and......didn't. You could say we got stoned and missed it.
Since then I have always regretted not doing it.
My second chance at Kathmandu is almost here and I have to say I'm a little frightened.
This trip is much more local and involves mountain climbing of a different sort and my drug of choice this time is Estrogen.
This Wednesday is a huge day thanks to my daughter. For my birthday she is treating me to a styling and hair coloring session at her hair salon! How great is that?
As luck would have it, the Veteran's Administration approved endocrinist FINALLY received all the payment  approval forms and Finally got around to letting me make an appointment. So after four months worth of work, I have what I refer to as "phase two" of my HRT lined up.
So all of the sudden my chance to go to a different "Kathmandu" is looming right in front of me.
All that I dreamed of over the years is just a short trip away.
This time, I will be on the flight!

"Movin" Picture Show

Get out the popcorn kids for the U.S. release of Laurence Anyways Alove story between a man and a woman- after he decides to have a sex change. Here's the trailer:

Cross Dresser Figures

Not that padded bra or butt this time girls but a whole ton of facts and figures on the subject from the
Cross Dresser Wives Blog Monthly Newsletter.
I know that more than of a few of you who visit Cyrsti's Condo have a spouse and may find this interesting!

Horror Scope

Yes friends another week has shot by and it's time for another "Horror Scope" in Cyrsti's Condo.

Libra: Slow down and get a grip. If you keep spinning your wheels and think you have to come up with solutions to all the world‘s problems, forget it. What makes you tick isn’t the same as others and the more you focus on your own point of view without the influence of others, the more likely it is that you’ll get somewhere.

What fun is that???

Remember Horror Scope is my own title and you can go here to get your scope from theFrisky!

I Was Wrong

OK, I deserve this. I was wrong about judging the Nat Geo Taboo show .
I over reacted to the sensationalized promos-I admit it.
The transsexual portions of the show were accurate and predictable. The producers played lip service to other trans groups in other parts of the world and featured the really phenomenal fairy tale transition of one attractive person who happened to be a trans man this time.
I suppose it's good shows such as this for the most part seem mundane to me. At the same time I do have a deep hope the shows do educate someone- anyone.
Here's what I was wrong about- the Chris-Tina segment.  I'm not sure I have seen anyone describe my situation as close as she did. Briefly, if you didn't see the show yet Chris-tina is very unapologetic of being a Hybrid (her terms). At this time she has no interest in being a complete woman or man.
Then came a Sociology Professor who essentially said individuals such as Chris-tina  totally collapse the gender binary.
Think about it. It's a simple concept and is the reason for much of the angst in the trans community too.
Try this out:  set up a table of some sort in which the number ten represents a true transsexual and the number one  -a true cross dresser and a true transgender as a five.  Between nine and two you can fill in with the gender fluid term.
My theory is the true transsexual and the true cross dresser identify with the so called outside/mainstream genders they become or emulate.
Essentially, it's hard for them to understand a gender fluid transgender person as they have never experienced  it. The same as I have never experienced growing up Hispanic, Black or Asian.
So now I think I  know why you transsexuals or cross dressers don't understand me. I'm collapsing your gender binary too.
Overall though, this is one of the times that being wrong was right!
Thanks Chris-Tina!