Are You a Feminist?

One of the questions which basically caught me by surprise during my interview during the Trans Ohio Symposium by J.M. Ellison, was I a feminist.

I said, of course I was and had been one years before I even transitioned fully.

During my years in the restaurant business, I worked mainly around women and their success was my success. Often, I learned the hard way what being a woman was all about, through their eyes. I saw how difficult it was for them to gain and keep the respect of macho dominated kitchen crews and often, how much harder it was for them to work with groups of women.

So yes, I became a firm feminist many years ago. So, it didn't come as a total surprise to me what happened to me when I began to transition to a full time feminine life. All of a sudden, I became a second class citizen when I was talking to a group of men. Also, I had to wait behind guys to get served and wasn't even given credit on how to get to my own house by a tow driver one time.

Amazingly enough, my learning experience carried all the way over to when I started what I called my "lesbian phase."  I ended up having many good experiences along with many which weren't so good. Along the way though, I sensed many of the women I came in contact with on a positive level were reacting to me because I presented as a "lipstick lesbian" with the slightest bit of maleness for balance. Of course most women don't carry the same sexual deep paranoia's as men do.

At any rate, I ended up adding another level of feminine understanding.

I was on a sensory overdrive to prove to my self I could prove my wife wrong when she said I didn't have any idea about what being a woman was all about.

On another level, what I don't understand is why transgender women have such a hard time being accepted by "Terf's"
(Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminists).

Very simply, a trans woman has had a different path to becoming a woman. Plus, let's not forget being born female does not make you a woman. Society does.

It would seem to me, in a time where women's rights continue to come under attack, any help would be welcome to change society. Especially from a transgender woman who has been on both sides of the gender fences.

Under Attack!

As I have written about earlier here in Cyrsti's Condo, party time this past weekend at the Trans Ohio Symposium was very fun. As always, we went to our favorite spots Friday and Saturday night...Club Diversity and Thurmans' Cafe for a famous huge burger. Both in Columbus, Ohio.

Club Diversity

As always we Uber our way around Columbus and imbibe a little too heavily. Both nights I stuck to Ohio Brewed (Cleveland) Great Lake's Beer. 

Friday was fairly tame, with the usual amount of cross dressers teetering around on their heels and a few transgender women mixed in. All but a few seemed to be having a good time. I didn't take the time to try to mingle in with any of them and none seemed interested in talking to me. So, we were even. This picture was actually taken last summer at Diversity but I haven't changed much so I used it again.

Saturday, after doing our best to eat half of a huge Thurman's Burger, Liz and I returned to Diversity to consume more adult beverages and listen to a very entertaining live piano player.

Predictably, as the night grew later, the crowd became a little more festive, or in some cases a lot more festive. The cross dressers seemed to disappear for the most part only to be replaced by a few impossibly dressed "girls". One of which couldn't wait to remove her jacket and almost totally expose her "bought boobies" in a very skimpy halter top. Unfortunately, her mini beer belly didn't help the over all image she was trying to get to. But what the hell? Right?? A good time was had by all.

Liz's first Martini of the weekend.

There are actually two bathrooms to use but one is supposed to be for women only. It was in use when I had to go one time, so I tried to stand in line for the unisex bathroom. While I was waiting a man walked up and asked me about the other restroom. I said I was going to try to use it again and he said he would hold my spot unless (of course) I came right back.  It was open, so I took care of business and went back to my seat at the bar.

Well. a little later, Liz went to make her way through the crowd to get us some pop corn and in the minute she was away, this guy comes up and gives me this giant bear hug from behind and sticks his face close to mine and was starting to say something I couldn't comprehend. About this time though, Liz came back and didn't see the humor in any of it and ran him off...quickly.

Then, as we were planning to leave and were saying our goodbyes to our fave bartender. He ended up hugging Liz and kissing me on the lips. Needless to say it has been awhile since I have been kissed by a man with a full beard!

As always, we had a great time and can't wait to go back again!

Prom Time

I have written before here in Cyrsti's Condo about my three very accepting grand children.  I am so proud of the diversity and acceptance my daughter has instilled in them.

For years my grand daughter has presented as androgynous. However, she took it to a very gender fluid height for this years' senior prom. Her high school, obviously accepts diversity too!

Check out her picture! To my knowledge she hasn't mentioned any preferred pronouns as of yet.

Wow! I'm so proud!!!

Transgender History

J.M. Ellison 

One of the pleasant surprises this weekend at the Trans Ohio Symposium was the interest in transgender history. I guess rarely do I think of myself as a person who matters as an interesting link to our community's transgender past.

J. M. Ellison was the keynote speaker on Saturday. As I mentioned in a previous post, their presentation leaned heavily on transgender history. All of a sudden I was reliving my days of trying to follow the exploits of  Virginia Prince and her Transvestia Magazine.

The more I heard, the more I started to remember the Pre Stonewall Days when men could be arrested for simply dressing like women in public.  Remembering back, I had to have heard or read about the arrests during my pre teen years in the 1950's/early 60's primarily in Dayton, Ohio.

Of course, this was all before Al Gore invented the internet and any news concerning being a transvestite was extremely difficult to find.

As we (J.M. Ellison and I) spoke later, I went into my memories of my resultant Tri Ess mixers in Cleveland and Columbus, Ohio. My earliest days (Late 1970's) of finally meeting others of like gender persuasions. To my knowledge Tri-Ess is still in existence today. One of my earliest learning experiences had to do with the "layers" of "cross dressers" I encountered. All the way from men in dresses smoking big cigars and wearing cowboy hats to ultra impossibly feminine creatures who I couldn't believe were ever male at all. Even back then, I had a difficult time figuring out where I belonged in this setting. These were the years before the transgender label was even used at all. One way or another though, I was always able to go when I could and learn more about my gender conflicted self each time.

Back tracking a bit to J.M. Ellison's interview with me, one of the more intriguing questions they asked me was...was I a feminist?

A question we will discuss in another Cyrsti's Condo blog post which involves us all!

Back in the Saddle

Well, the Trans Ohio Symposium weekend did not disappoint. The inclusion feeling of the Symposium was as incredible as ever.

To put it all in perspective will take several posts. Very simply put though, I partied way too hard, enjoyed my workshop immensely, was interviewed for a dissertation/ book on transgender history, sat way too long in hard back chairs listening to other workshops and was even hugged and kissed on by gay guys.

My workshop was well attended this year! My gender dysphoria topic seemed to resonate with the group well as did my military history. There were a couple of other veterans in the group who asked questions about my experiences within the VA.

The keynote speaker on Saturday was fascinating and they did a wonderful job explaining their (preferred pronouns)research into transgender history. Liz of course is much more outgoing than I am and insisted I talk to them about my Cyrsti's Condo blog and a bit of my past. They responded that we should get together for an interview concerning their project.

I will be writing more information about this later. As well as the other exciting times we had!

On the Road

Today is finally my workshop day at the Trans Ohio Symposium. So this post will be very short.

I hope you all are well and having a great weekend!

Trans Dar?

Wednesday, as I was waiting for Liz to wrap up her Doctor's appointment and playing on my phone, this younger person walked in and sat down across from me. Of course, at my age, almost everyone is a "younger person".

Very quickly we engaged, much faster than I do with most people. Also my mind clicked into I am talking to another transgender woman. She was very presentable and was wearing a type of pink and blue necklace. As we conversed, I had an idea we both wanted to ask each other about being transgender but couldn't bring ourselves to be that bold.  She even mentioned the in house hospital gift shop was serving coffee from a local coffee shop which also has been known to host a monthly transgender meeting. So she was giving off all the right clues.

Later I began to think if I remembered Liz's Doctor  being mentioned as a trans friendly therapist in any of the groups I have been to. And it seems I have.

Damn, it's a small world!

Final Plans

The Trans Ohio Symposium begins tomorrow (Friday) and it's finally time to take a final look at the weather and plan my wardrobe. Initially, the weather was forecast to be on the warm and dry side but of course that has all changed. The latest forecasts are calling for wetter and cooler weather. Lows at night are predicted to be in the low 40's.

Now I am back to "Plan B". Or, planning on wearing my lightweight sweaters and leggings. It won't matter that much though, since I am comfortable in those outfits.  Plus, as you all have probably guessed, I don't fall into the feminine "over dressed" category very many times. Since I have been living full time as a woman for so long now, I do quite a bit of the dressing to blend with the greatest majority of the other women I encounter.

A great example was yesterday when I went with Liz to her Doctors' appointment. I wore a frilly, lacy blouse with jeans, light make up and tennis shoes and did just fine.

Also today, I have to finish up printing off my cover sheet and other papers I will need for my workshop. It will be interesting to see how many attendees I get since I am up against four other workshops. Plus, Liz seems to think the early starting time may effect the turnout too.

Finally, I just received a final reminder on my rental car we have reserved for the weekend. Knock on wood, but all the plans are moving forward well.

Mid Week Shuffle

Wednesday (today) is going to be spent doing errands and checking on the availability of the wardrobe I think I want to wear to the Trans Ohio Symposium coming up this weekend.

The weather seems to be cooperating with fairly warm temperatures and very little rain predicted. A couple years ago, it rained all the time seemingly.

Also, again this year, the Capital City Half Marathon will be running again on the main street in front of the Student Union of The Ohio State University where the Symposium is held. All of that makes it difficult to get across the four lanes of traffic to get into the venue. Essentially, you need to find a way in from behind the building through the campus.

We try to dodge that huge problem by getting the shuttle from our hotel to take us. Timing will be everything in that we are going to try to get there early enough to enjoy the complimentary breakfast/coffee and have plenty of time to set up for my workshop at nine.

Thursday, I am going to get more serious about putting together the outfits I would like to wear.

Great Memory

Last night, as I always do, I stopped for a cup of my fave coffee on my way to the transgender support group meeting. The manager has been there since I started to go in.

He is always nice enough to make small talk with me and ask about how my weekend was. Amazingly enough last night, he said isn't it about time for you (me) to head up to Columbus, Ohio for our party weekend. Otherwise known as our Trans Ohio Symposium Weekend.  I told him yes, it is coming up this weekend and I was amazed at his memory.

Somewhere along the way I must have made an impact with my barista!

Speaking of impacts, Leann wrote concerning my Easter Sunday/Mike Pence post here in Cyrsti's Condo:

"I did have a very holy Easter, thank you. Many so called Christians (and those like the woman who said Pence came from a good Christian family) are unwilling to acknowledge is that simply not violating the ten commandments in public does not make one a good Christian. Loving one's neighbor unconditionally is also required of a Christian. Pence and his ilk do not appear to be following this precept. Jesus tells us to love thy neighbor as thyself as part of the Great Commandment. This seems to be lost on far too many who claim to be following Christ. For these we should all pray for their conversion to true Christianity."

Thank you Leann, well put!

Trans Ohio Symposium

Since this Saturday at 9 AM is my workshop presentation at the Trans Ohio Symposium in Columbus, Ohio, I thought I better get started on my notes.

To start with, I'm going to pass out a cover page and paper which simply outlines the questions and symptoms of my topic. Gender Dysphoria.

It goes something like this:

                                                            Gender Dysphoria

               Sex?          Sexuality?           Gender?

          Stress...Tension...Anxiety...Withdrawal...Emotion...Suicide

Somewhere along the line, I may come up with an outline and/or brief bio to save me droning on about myself for a lone period of time.

For once, I am going to try to stay on point and organized which is always not so easy considering how my mind works!