Out She Comes!

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

From transgender model and activist Billie Lee:

"The journey to self love brings you down a dark alley of emotional shame, guilt and abandonment. If I want to fully love myself, I must begin where it all started."

Daniela Lourdes Falanga

Daniela Lourdes Falanga was the first trans woman to be elected president of a section of Arcigay, an Italian group defending LGBT + rights (Instagram / @ danylourdes)

The eldest child of a mafia boss overcame his strict family education to become a transgender woman and one of the main LGBT + activists in Italy.

When Daniela Lourdes Falanga was born, it was believed that she was the first male heir to the Camorra clan and was to take over “the family business”.

She proved them wrong!

What's Next?

Seemingly, the more I think about my past, the more I consider the future. Realistically speaking, most of my life lies behind me and I have written many times here in Cyrsti's Condo concerning my fear of being "cared" for in a nursing home with a very transphobic staff. Hopefully society will continue to inch forward in it's knowledge and support of transgender women and men.

Then quickly my mind returns to thinking about my past experiences I can put in the book. Many are buried deeply in my mind to a point where I can barely remember them.

Currently, I am writing about the very few men in my life including the first one. My meeting with him was brief and happened the night of my first professional make over at one of the transvestite mixers I went to. I guess I could say I had interactions with two guys that night since the make up expert who worked his magic on me was the first. Indirectly leading to the second.

During these mixers, I loosely tagged along with the "A" crowd or as I also called them, "The Mean Girls."  Approximately five or six of them always formed a clique which very few others were ever welcomed into. It turned out on that magical night, not even did I tag along, I crashed the clique.

Perhaps you noticed I said "crashed" and not joined. No matter how popular I became for one night, there was no way I ever wanted to become a permanent part of their exclusive group.

Now, back to the evening.  As I said, the make up expert did a wonderful job on me and even I was amazed. It was my first experience with someone else (who knew what they were doing) doing my makeup.

As I have written about before, the clique of the most attractive cross dressers or transgender women (before there was such a word) went out to party at gay venues after the mixer. Early in the evening I had the usual unremarkable time tagging along. It was later on when I was approached by a guy in the last venue we went to. He asked me to stay and he would by me a drink. Since I was dependent on the clique to get me back to the hotel, I declined.

More importantly though, the clique was dazzled I was approached and none of them were.

Sadly, the next day I had to go back to my usual male boring existence.

Mixed Emotions

Thanks to the wonderful people at Facebook, recently they pulled up this ancient picture of me in the summer of 2014.

I like the picture on a few levels and on the other hand don't like.

In many ways I consider this a transition photo. I was moving away from being a blond and closer to wearing my own hair.

What you may not see in the picture is the torment I suffered from the wig's hairline. It's one of the few wigs I ever owned I even took a pair of scissors to. It's a wig though which brings back fond memories.

I wore it to my first "girl's night out" when I was invited by a group of young women I had met at one of the venues I frequented many times. Even though I was scared to go, I also was excited to tag along also. I put together one of my black outfits with a tank top and a long black skirt with a slit up the side. It turned out not to matter much as the younger more attractive women received most of the attention anyhow.

I had more luck when I wore the same outfit (and wig) to a big gay venue one night to meet a couple of friends. One was a trans man and the other a lesbian. I ended up having a fun evening and asking them to accompany me to my car when I was leaving. I had learned the hard way not to walk around the venue by myself.

Now, back to the picture. What I do like is my expression. I feel as if it gave me an impression of strength. The breasts of course were not natural. They were mine only in a sense they were given to me as a gift years earlier from a cross dresser who was purging his storage shed. Plus the way I was sitting only gives a slight indication of how over weight I was at the time.

I am sure you have to be transgender to put so much effort into breaking down an old picture.

Mara Gomez

From News Chain:

"Argentina's premier women's football league has seen the signing of its first transgender player with Mara Gomez joining Villa San Carlos.

The move will mark the first time in history a trans woman plays in an official Argentine FA tournament.

The 22-year-old said: “Football helped me change my sexuality and my personality. It was a moment of distraction. I have been treated well in every club I have ever played for."

Congratulations!

"Book Em" Cyrsti

I have finally decided to start on my second book.My first E-published book is now out of "print" so it is time to attempt a bigger better one.

Of course the Cyrsti's Condo blog is always a good place to start, since over the years I have accumulated over 5500 posts. Plus I have chapters I already attempted for book number two. So, my problem becomes having all these loosely connected thoughts floating around. I even have about ten ideas I have been collecting on my phone in a memo app I have.

What's a girl to do? This time I am using a loose leaf notebook to compile my ideas. For example, my initial chapter will include a glossary of terms plus a short bio. It amazes me how many more terms I have had to add since the first book was started nearly seven years ago.

Initially, as I move along I am planning to insert new ideas into the binder under headings I think they belong under. Another example would be the chapter I am building under the pain of being mis-gendered and rest room usage. Both carry bad consequences. As I write more about them, now I can insert the extra content into the proper place in the binder and edit it all when I get ready to finish.

The average book (according to Google) contains between 60,000 and 100,000 words depending on the genre. I'm writing a non fiction book so I have found most sources say the same thing.  lo short,  I am aiming to write at least 75,000 words.

You may ask what will make my book different? For one I am steering clear of supposedly scholarly ideas on the subject of being transgender. Zeroing instead on the life aspects of our culture. In other words, what I try to go in the blog.

There are several self publishing companies I am in contact with, plus I am fortunate in that my partner Liz is a book editor of sorts. Having her edit my book would save at least nine hundred dollars.

My problems are staying organized and finishing the project. This time I want a paper copy of my book which I know will cost quite a bit. So along the way, I have to save up the money to do it too.

I will keep you all posted.

Josie Totah

Yet another transgender step forward is coming to television screens near you!

The most popular girl at Bayside High will be portrayed by a transgender teen.

Josie Totah has been cast as Lexi, a lead role of the Saved by the Bell reboot. The series will live on Peacock, NBCUniversal's streaming platform that will debut in April.

The Hollywood Reporter, which broke the news, describes Lexi as "a beautiful, sharp-tongued cheerleader and the most popular girl at Bayside High who is both admired and feared by her fellow students."

Go team go!

What Came First...the Wig or the Name?

Recently, I wrote a post here in Cyrsti's Condo about my early cross dressing days when I would on occasion change my name to match (in my noggin) the spirit of the wig I was wearing. For example, I had exactly the wrong wig choice for me when I bought this big curly platinum blond wig. When the mirror lied to me and I wore it, I would change my name to "Roxie." I had so many other names back then I forget most of them. Most importantly though, I was successfully and needlessly confusing anyone I met when I foolishly tried to change my persona. After all, how many cross dressers were they meeting? I certainly wasn't accomplished enough yet to present feminine consistently.

I managed to confuse Connie and a few of you when I wrote this post. Here is her (Connie's) comment and her own story:

"LOL Forgive me, but I'm laughing at your mistakes, too. Naming yourself according to the wig you were wearing! I think that the name of the first wig I got by mail order was "Sultry." I may have felt a little sultry in it, but I was far from being that way, I believe now. :-) I learned, pretty fast, that gay bars were not necessarily the friendliest places for a trans woman.

Then, again, I also learned that they could be too friendly, when I was hit on by a very large drag queen one night. I was with two cross dressers, who did nothing but laugh at me, as the drag queen moved in on me with a vengeance. It was all I could do to resist the unwanted attempts of molestation and grinding against my hip as I sat on the stool. This is not one of the occasions for which I can look back and laugh, but it was definitely one from which I learned some things - about myself, as well as others. My first solo trip out was about six weeks after I had ventured out of the house to attend a cross dresser meeting for the first time. It was a trip to a grocery store across town to do the shopping for Thanksgiving dinner. 

I've always done the grocery shopping in our house, so there was some level of comfort in doing something that was routine to me. While sorting through the pile of frozen turkeys, a woman asked me how big of a bird I thought she would need for her large family. From there, after a rather long chat, I ended up writing out my cornbread stuffing recipe for her. Later, when I requested some cheese at the deli counter, the woman there responded with: Oh, that voice! Your voice is so...so...sultry...I love it! No, I was not wearing my Sultry wig, but I do think I was making a rather cheesy attempt at feminizing my voice. :-)"

You should have not resisted the drag queen! She may have changed your outlook on life! :)