How Sweet It Is!

The end of 2016 for some reason has brought my Mtf transgender presentation confidence to an all time high. Starting a couple days ago, I stopped at a coffee shoppe inside my VA hospital to pick up a mocha for the trip home. I was actually in line with a couple other peeps before my order was taken.

Two girls were working behind the counter and when one asked the other about the type of milk I wanted, she causally replied "she wants low fat." So quickly and naturally, even I was impressed as I grabbed my coffee and headed home.

Then the very next day, Liz and I were shopping for some sort of a new dress to wear with my "The Ohio State University" scarf she made me for New Years Eve, plus a new headlight bulb for the car. For convenience sake, we went to one of the big box stores I won't mention. We found the headlamp but of course it was locked up on the rack, so I had to find someone to unlock it. Amazingly enough I found someone a couple aisles away.  She in turn summoned another clerk to unlock the item saying "she needs a light bulb"  meaning me of course. By this time I'm thinking life is good as I am navigating this heavily redneck store as a girl, until life was about to get even better!

Of course Liz and I were fighting about what to buy in the sweater dress department until finally she throws up her hands in disgust and says "Go try it on, it is not what you think it is." (I hate it when she is right.)  So I did.

I headed for the fitting rooms which were manned by a more elderly than me lady and I got a little apprehensive in that she would be choosing the man's or woman's fitting room for me. But before I could make another move, she wheeled and unlocked the women's fitting room for me. Wow! As I said though, Liz was right and my idea of a new dress for the evening didn't work, so I went with her's.

So all in all the last couple of days have been astounding.

Happy New Years to you all!!!!

Jessie

End of Year Comments

Thanks again for all of you who make Cyrsti's Condo a regular stopping point!  Lets get to a few comments.

From our "Demarcation" Bra post:

"It's mainly a matter of comfort. Bras are supportive but constricting and once in one's private space at home, comfort rules and off comes the bra. With a sigh of relief. 

That said, if you're going out again later on, a bra will have to be put back on. Going braless will risk men getting fixated on your wobbling mammaries, or another woman's raised eyebrows, unless the wearing of a bra is clearly discretionary, as on a hot beach - or if you actually relish the attention! 

It's also clear that small-breasted women have a lot more latitude to do as they please in this area, compared with women who - naturally or otherwise - are well-endowed. 

Lucy"

For better or for worse, I am still one of the small breasted women! Thanks Lucy :)

And, of course Connie brought her unique perspective to the Condo:

 "Well, my problem is that when my bra comes off, so do my boobs! Of course, as far as my womanhood is concerned, that is neither here nor there.....except that my boobs aren't here unless the bra is there. I don't know about my stars aligning, but I still need a bra to keep my boobs aligned.:-)"

Finally, Michelle: "CHEERS to the New Year to both you and Connie from one that NEEDS to take that dang thing off when I get home...LOL"

Cheers to you too Michelle!!!!!

Demarcation Point?

Is the bra a line between a cross dresser and a transgender woman? Here is Connie's take:  "I've heard it said that the line is separated by the fact that a cross dresser can't wait to get home from work and put a bra on, while the transgender woman can't wait to get home to take hers off. Other than that, cross dressing is "what" one does, while being a transgender woman (or man) is "who" one is. It is the "why" question that forms the thin line. "When" and "where" can also be factors."

I really like the definitions here Connie-thanks! I know it took me years to figure out why I needed to do more than just put the feminine clothes on. I could never figure out why the "thrill" of dressing like a girl had long sense lost it's charm. It became more important to me to be more efficient in the process of being able to do the best I could to present my inner female to the outside world. When the stars began to align, I began to understand I was indeed transgender and not a cross dresser. Which, there is absolutely nothing wrong with. The problems naturally occur when we can not align our inner and exterior genders.

And oh by the way, I can't wait to get my bra off!

It's a Thin Line

Last week during my transgender veteran support group I told a couple of experiences I had during what I called my "formative" years as a cross dresser. By formative I mean I was searching to see if a feminine life for me was all I thought it would/could be.

Every time I describe myself as a "former crossdresser" I look for reactions at the same time.

Why?

I know transgender purists say you are trans or not from basically birth and by all accounts I was. The problems came as I built a rather successful male life, it became harder and harder to give up. Plus, information on transgender people was just not as available (or available at all to us.)

So when I talked about singing karaoke with a very masculine lesbian in her cowboy hat (by her direction) and trying to beat my wife home from work at midnight, you can understand the confused or bemused looks around the table.

I find it amusing too that my therapist doesn't understand my past and present paranoia about using the correct restroom (women's). After all it was me who had the cops called on me three times. I learned quickly the proper rest room etiquette and then some. I always carried some sort of feminine hygiene product just in case a not so slick cis woman tried to trip me up, and I had one.

So, the line was thin between being an accomplished cross dresser and a transgender woman-if you believe there ever was one. I know some of you do and some don't and I know too there are a few cis women (GG's) who keep up with the blog who wonder too about their spouses. Which is another blog post altogether.

Some day we will have to cross that thin line.

Thanks!

We received several nice holiday greetings here in Cyrsti's Condo from Paula, Mandy, Connie,Calie and others! Happy holidays to you and yours :).

Most of  our work was done Christmas Eve, so Liz and I had a chance to kick back and relax and watch my fave seasonal classic-A Christmas Story. It's a period piece which takes place in Cleveland, Ohio and among other plot lines, involves a pre teen boys' quest to get a BB Gun for Christmas. Which is exactly what I did not want to get but did anyhow. My brother got one too and we used to have shootouts in the backyard. I could never hit him but he could me. As I progressed through life, I found I was never destined to be much better of a marksman. Even in the Army.

At the least though, since I have been able to transition finally, I can watch the movie for it's own sake and catch more of the humor. It's amazing how that works.

On the flip side, North Carolina managed to stay in the transgender dark ages and not rescind it's discriminatory bathroom law. Which essentially means I would have to use a men's room in public places. On the other hand Kentucky's very Republican governor said he would veto any attempt to pass a similar bill. A move which would hurt the many civilized areas of Kentucky such as the part across from Cincinnati, Lexington, Louisville, Frankfort and others. So the boycott of North Carolina did work...just not there.

Again, thanks all for checking in and following the blog and to all the rest of you who do too! (The silent majority dare I say.)

And So It Is Christmas!

My fondest desire for all of you is you have an accepting family this Holiday. Too many transgender women and trans men just don't.

Even after I was old enough to understand completely why I would rather have a doll for Christmas rather than the BB Gun I got, I still took years to understand the complete ramifications for coming out of the closet as transgender.

After I did a couple of years ago, I was lucky and only lost half of of family. My brother would not stand up to his in laws. Ironically, I gained two sets of family with my partner Liz and my daughter and her in laws. Turns out change was good after all.

As I said, Best Wishes during this Yule Holiday Season!

Jessie

Busy,Busy,Busy

Unfortunately, I don't mean shopping busy and my parties with cross dressing friends have long since been a part of my past. Nothing negative, I just don't seem to fit anymore.

What isn't in the past is a seeming frenetic attempt by the VA to catch up all my activity with them by the end of the year.

This morning I went for an updated eye exam and found all was well and I even have another set of glasses coming which is good. Once I got to the clinic this morning my trans-dar was going crazy as I briefly got a chance to take a look at a woman I perceived to be transgender in the waiting room. I could have been wrong though when they answered to the name of Tom. (with make-up)

Also, I finally arm wrestled my way into moving my mammogram into January. Seemingly, once the consult was called in under "urgent" the VA was making sure it was. I suppose it's because my maternal grandmother passed from breast cancer in the 1950's, my age (67) and the fact I have passed the 3 year mark on HRT. Mammograms are very important I know and in fact have never been more than a minor inconvenience to me. So I guess I'm being a huge whiner.

Plus I do have an appointment with my therapist next Thursday and just attended the transgender veteran support group in Dayton, Ohio yesterday.

Finally, in a move perhaps designed to cut back on Christmas bonuses, Liz's company has scheduled their Holiday party for the middle of January. Again it will not be a big deal outfit wise as most of her office staff dresses very casual and the venue is in a combo huge sports bar/arcade. One way or another it should be fun!

I think that is it until tomorrow. But on the positive side, Liz does have a ton of time off coming, so we can enjoy the Holidays also!  

Cyrsti's Condo Monday Edition-on Tuesday!

Monday was a busy day so I am putting together an extra day into this post. It is still cold around here but for awhile we are escaping the sub zero freezer box just to the north of us. It is still chilly enough for your fave cozy flannel "jammies" and a hot cup o joe or cocoa. Let's get started.

Page One : The Week that Was or Wasn't: In the middle of all the negative post election LGBT news, one huge positive has come out of North Carolina, After losing billions of dollars to events leaving the state for more liberal pastures, North Carolina's Governor is to repeal the highly transgender discrimination bill in the state. A big victory for the trans community to be sure.

Page Two: Yesterdays' Coffee-Opinion:  Connie (per norm) sent in a couple of very decent comments, including this one about my New Years Eve outfit: "So, is that NYE outfit a sequined Buckeye jersey? You're not going to miss the game for a party, now, are you? Of course, you may be just looking ahead to a championship game against #1;Bama, but it's my hope it will be the UW vs OSU for that game. Trash talkin' is so much fun! :-)"

Truthfully, the Buckeye game schedule did throw my outfit into a different mode in that I don't yet have any "Scarlet & Gray" (The Ohio State colors) sequined  gowns in my wardrobe. But I do have a freshly made Scarlet and Gray knitted scarf as an early Christmas present to use as my lucky charm as Clemson is tough, Needless to say, I will compromise for my team! Plus, our fave New Years Eve venue overlooking the Ohio River does have plenty of television screens!!!!

As far as Washington/Bama goes-good luck. Alabama is tough!

 Page Three : Mo Mail: Joanna Santos commented on my MtF transition post: "Easy. it certainly ain't!" No it is not for the faint of hearted. Thanks Joanna! Also Connie commented on sub zero receptions from people we meet which puts the weather to shame. How correct that is and nearly all of mine in the past have come from other women-cis or even transgender. 

Page Four: The Back Page: Well, it's time to wrap this up and move on with my day. It's been nice chatting and thanks as always for stopping by! I love you all :)

Jessie

Geez-It's Quiet Around Here

Silence has always been my worse enemy. If I can't be around people and/or write about them, I get a little edgy.

Plus if you try to write as much as I do, I need material.

For example a couple nights ago, a committee Liz and I are working on to organize another witches Halloween Ball met to look at a venue. The venue was perfect (as we all knew) but we had to reserve it this far ahead to get it.

I didn't say much except that last last year's tickets were too expensive and to keep this years price point down as much as we can.

No one from the venue paid the trans girl much attention as I wondered around the place I had such a good evening in the past.

Liz and I actually had one of our first dates there at an earlier Halloween event when I broke one of my own rules and tried to wear heels for the evening.

This year should  be fun as we are doing a version of Alice/Teapot etc. Putting together a costume should be fun.

You may ask how does this all tie together? Actually, it's pretty simple. I didn't have a damn thing to write about so I jumped ahead to Halloween and being accepted by the organizers as who I am-transgender.

I do have a New Years Eve outfit picked out so I was saving it for later. And, next week, is another meeting of the transgender veterans group I am in. Plus, another meeting with my therapist.

Such is life writing a blog!!!