Last week during my transgender veteran support group I told a couple of experiences I had during what I called my "formative" years as a cross dresser. By formative I mean I was searching to see if a feminine life for me was all I thought it would/could be.
Every time I describe myself as a "former crossdresser" I look for reactions at the same time.
I know transgender purists say you are trans or not from basically birth and by all accounts I was. The problems came as I built a rather successful male life, it became harder and harder to give up. Plus, information on transgender people was just not as available (or available at all to us.)
So when I talked about singing karaoke with a very masculine lesbian in her cowboy hat (by her direction) and trying to beat my wife home from work at midnight, you can understand the confused or bemused looks around the table.
I find it amusing too that my therapist doesn't understand my past and present paranoia about using the correct restroom (women's). After all it was me who had the cops called on me three times. I learned quickly the proper rest room etiquette and then some. I always carried some sort of feminine hygiene product just in case a not so slick cis woman tried to trip me up, and I had one.
So, the line was thin between being an accomplished cross dresser and a transgender woman-if you believe there ever was one. I know some of you do and some don't and I know too there are a few cis women (GG's) who keep up with the blog who wonder too about their spouses. Which is another blog post altogether.
Some day we will have to cross that thin line.