Damn! I'm Old!

In this day and age when more than a few transgender women want to throw the "I am more trans than you card" and many of my most asked questions pertain to when did I know I was gender dysphoric , this newspaper article pretty much says it all: (kind of-or at least a starting point)

 ((Originally published by the Daily News on December 1, 1952. This story was written by Ben White.)
At that time, I was approximately three.

Of course my reading skills at that age were less than stellar, so I can't tell you I went out and read my parents newspaper about the story.

What I can tell you is, not so many years later I did hear of the Christine Jorgensen story and was fascinated. So, I guess my trans pedigree is blurred. I can't say the first time I read the Jorgensen story at the age of three I knew I was transgender or transsexual or any other of the words which had not even been invented yet. So i guess I am not trans enough for most. Blah, blah, blah.

On the other end of the age spectrum, I was listening to one of the national sports talk radio shows this morning and they were having quite the Bruce Jenner discussion. With no particular horse in the race, Dan Patrick matter of factly pointed out most younger peeps never knew how much of a famous athlete Jenner was. Plus he (Patrick) could not shake the idea the subject was very serious but Jenner was using the interview as a "teaser" promo show for the upcoming reality series.

Transgender "Catfishing"

Ever watch the "Catfish the TV Show"? By total accident  recently when I couldn't find my remote-again-I stumbled upon an episode  about a guy named Jamie and girl named Ari.

Briefly, a "catfish" on a site such as Facebook is misrepresenting themselves as who they really are.

So, as I banged away at my computer, I wasn't paying in real attention to "Ari" who "had a secret of sorts she was hiding from Jamie. Well, it turns out Ari was/is a transgender woman.

I thought "here we go again." But surprisingly, Jamie took it fairly well and it was Ari who basically shutdown everything and walked off.

Most importantly to me was the link MTV added after the show-providing information and possible help to transgender women and transgender men. Follow the link above and you should be able to view the episode.

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

KER PLUNK! Another edition of Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition" is hitting your virtual front porch. It's a chilly, sunny spring morning here in Ohio so the "Joe" (coffee) is on and lets get started.

The Week that WAS or Wasn't.- Finally the much awaited Bruce Jenner interview with Diane Sawyer has come and gone. The two hour show at the least created a whole different level of who we are as a transgender community as many television stations featured a follow up interview with a local trans woman after the show. However you want to look at it, a whole new group of people were able to see we trans people are just that-humans. Not the monsters painted out by local bible thumping ministers or right wing politicians. To put this week in a "Jenner-esk"  sports reference-he has passed the (decathlon) baton to us and it's up to each one of us to run with it.

Hello Carol and Debbie!  Last night Liz and I went to a local Gay Couples get together at one of the couples beautiful home. Not long into the evening we began chatting with a lesbian couple (Carol and Debbie) and enjoyed it immensely. I should say a long term married lesbian couple. Not too long after we began chatting, I broke two of my personal promises to myself-as inane as they may be. I was not going to out myself or discuss Jenner. Blah, blah, blah. We did talk about Jenner and it was cool and as far as "outing" myself-everyone there I suspect knew anyhow. I was flattered to find several went out of their way to make me feel welcome. Good to meet both of you!

We Got Mail! I 'm going to sort through a couple which centered on Bruce (of course). The first comes from CalieApril 25, 2015 at 1:17 PM

I've got to agree. (about Bruce's media storm) The whole thing makes me very uncomfortable and I don't know why. My gut feeling is that this is not, at least right now, good for our community. Perhaps at some point I'll blog about my feelings on this whole thing. For now, it's a circus and the media - my occupation - is making the most of it. Funny how the story came out on the second day of the most important rating month of the year.....

Thanks Callie! There are no "coincidences" in the media-right? And another person who should have her own blog - Connie:

"The best we can hope for is that public awareness will open a few more closet doors, as well as a few more hearts. I think that we often forget how long it took for many of us to come to grips with ourselves and our gender identities. We need to give others some time to deal with it, as well. Whether coming out can be construed as an act of bravery (as many are saying about Bruce) or not is nothing compared to the responsibility we have to both ourselves and others when we do so. One of the most important things Bruce said was at the outset of the interview, asking that we keep a sense of humor about all of this. Humor can go a long way in easing the suffering of slings and arrows, as well as in keeping our own nobility - if not, at least, our own humility."

The Back Page:  Finally, what was the tasteless idea for a "joke" sandwich aimed at Bruce Jenner. It was part Taco and part Hot Dog. There you go. Essentially though, it doesn't matter what the sandwich was or the intended humor behind it. We (trans) have been the subject of jokes, smirks and out and out laughter- the world just needs to know they aren't funny anymore. Someday with equal rights and acceptance humor will be be fine, until then one person's "humor" is another's salt in the wound.

So there you go!!!! Another Sunday Edition in or "on the can." Have a great week!  

Cyrsti's Condo "Androgyny Personified"

Grace Jones - androgynous actress. Circa 1970

The Aftermath

Often you have to look past the obvious to see the effects of such a "big" transgender happening such as the Bruce Jenner / Dianne Sawyer interview last night.

According to my emails, many local ABC affiliates followed up with a local interview with a trans woman. Including WCPO here in Cincinnati. As always, all sorts of us -trans or whatever will draw their own conclusions. Personally, Liz and I are going to a gay couples party tonight (gay and lesbian.) I have wondered if I will be asked any (Bruce) questions. I doubt it and even hope not.

Why? After last night, I think the real benefit came from all the local television stations who broadcast stories of trans women (and a few good good trans men) from around their area. Perhaps the average "Joe" or "Jolene" on the street will now consider they actually know or might know a transgender person after all.

Even better, are the realizations that when famous people such as Bruce Jenner come out, the more power we have. Here is an example from yesterday here in Cincinnati. A restaurant in a restoration area downtown (even featured recently on the Food Channel) came up with a "Bruce Jenner" transphobic sounding sandwich for supposedly only yesterday. I caught the alert to it from the Cinci trans group on my Facebook and responded as did many others. One way or another, an apology was issued by the restaurant and the sandwich removed. Before the day was over.

There was even less excuse for the restaurant because of the proximity to the Leelah Alcorn tragic suicide last winter. People have short memories. Perfect or not, Bruce Jenner helps to keep our memory fresh.

Bruce and Beyond

Perhaps the biggest and worst concealed "coming out" event in transgender history has come and gone.  Bruce Jenner is trans. The event was so big that:  " It even made the news on the BBC Radio four this morning, but I was in too much of a hurry to listen in depth. Once the decision has been made to live your life in the spotlight then it is inevitable that such a dramatic change will attract attention.

I suspect that this will be another drip that wears away at the opposition. I won't say that any publicity is good publicity, but anything that normalizes our situation can only help. ~ I still won't be following the circus though."

That comment came from Paula Goodwin across the pond in the UK.  

Very simply, I could write tons of posts on Bruce- so I am going to start slow. Actually my first thoughts were this is all good but Bruce is entering a life of trans privilege. Whatever procedure she decides to undergo-she can. Although she mentioned the pain and suffering of the real transgender world all so briefly, it won't affect her.

From personal experience, I know the indescribable joy of family acceptance and her family (the Jenner's) at least seem to be genuinely nice and real. You get back what you put into kids and Bruce should be proud. 

So Paula, I'm not so sure you missed anything of great importance. I was surprised when Bruce confirmed Zoey Tur-d (sorry-Zoey Tur'S) announcement earlier that many in Hollywood knew Jenner was trans as far back as the 80's. I just wondered if was then that Zoey was dropped from a helicopter on her head for the first time.

Of course, as we all know last night's show was also an elaborate kick start publicity show for the so called "real MtF gender transition" show with Bruce on the "E"Network.  After I saw the lacy black dress Bruce pulled from his "old" closet to show Diane Sawyer (he can afford to build his own "glam room now) I had a Zoey Tur_ flashback from her first interviews. 

All in all I'm grading it a "C" which we will discuss later.

"Color Blind"-A Girl's Night In.

This week at Liz's house, it was "gray attack" night on Tuesday. In other words, the gray hair roots on our noggins were progressing nicely and had to be put back in their place-concealed.

I know there are several of you who are fortunate enough to have the budget to be able to go to a salon to have your hair colored. I just can't but wish I could! Being pampered in a salon is an experience like no other...but-

Previously here in Cyrsti's Condo I have mentioned the major trials and tribulations of coloring ones hair. First, you have to pick out the color and of course somehow get it applied to your noggin. The ways to do it are- a friend or partner (like Liz) or yourself. The last time I colored, I did do it myself and yes I did OK. This time Liz colored mine (better) but then I colored hers. A little scary. Why?

You can't just "slop it on." Especially if you have a bunch of hair like both of us do. Take my word for it, you don't want to have several spots you missed. If you rub too hard it's possible to burn the scalp so you have to use the applicator to get to those pesky gray roots.

Finally, the past colors you have used factor in. Example? Once I went to a much darker color last fall, it is tougher now to easily lighten up my hair for spring/summer. When you recolor, the end product is affected by the beginning product. (Gray)

These days, I am wearing my hair pushed back behind my ears and soft bangs over the forehead. Essentially my goal is to keep lightening the hair around my temples which gray the most and my main part on top to a softer red for the season.

We will see-literally! I should color about once every 4 weeks-just in time for my Trans Ohio Symposium workshop!

Ready or Not

The event we transgender women and men have been waiting for (one way or another) happens tonight (Friday EST). ABC.

Bruce Jenner and Diane Sawyer sit down for a "chat" and as predicted, it is a circus. As reported in this New York Daily News story.

"The Bruce Jenner interview is becoming the social event of the season. And New Yorkers are staying home on Friday night to tune in to Diane Sawyer’s two-hour “20/20” special with the Olympic legend.

“Of course I am going to watch it. I am anticipating it myself, "Kim Kardashian's bestie Jonathan Cheban tells the Daily News. “I think I’d be the only one in the world not watching it.”

Many are marking Jenner’s reported big reveal — that he’s transitioning into a woman — with festive viewing parties to celebrate his journey.

“It’s gonna be huge! It’s definitely one of those things to do with a group of friends, like having an Oscar showing,” says Mary Twiss, 24, who is hosting seven friends in her Gramercy apartment.

“It’s a big deal for Bruce Jenner, and also for the LGBT community. It’s definitely a reason to celebrate,” she says."

We will see. We will see. The "celebration" word seems way too intense for me. The next thing I expect to hear (and have) is "some of my best friends are transgender."

Parts is Parts?

"Would a transgender woman who agreed with Lisa be an Artificial TERF, then? 

The reasoning used by TERFs is the same as that used by those who are opposed to trans people using the bathroom of their self-identified gender. I do believe, by the way, that trans men have been allowed to participate at the MWMF all along, simply because they have the "correct" body parts and have had to experience -at least in their youth- the oppression of men over women (or womyn, which is a different sex, I guess). Male privilege is derived from the penis, I suppose. Lisa. So, one man's privilege is another woman's woe?"

This comment is not mine but another Connie sent in. 

Actually, I believe there are "Trans Exclusionary Trans Women" too who actually believe they should have their "woman" card punched primarily because they went out and bought a vagina. (Artificial Terf?) The only difference seems to me is when you happened to acquire your vagina. 

To be sure, men have oppressed women over the centuries and each other. The oppression crosses race and religious lines (especially as we are seeing today.) The only thing I have never understood about the gay and lesbian community is how long it took them to get up to speed about what the transgender community is really all about. They are now. In fact push back from major lesbian organizations was a major factor in Lisa packing her tent and heading home.

Let's face it, there will always be a segment of the world who will never understand the concept of gender versus sexuality. Part of human nature dictates the need to be part of a tribe too. Lisa Vogel is not alone in her tribe. Just the tip of the ice berg.

If I had the chance to sit down face to face with her, I would love to explain why I was - or wasn't crashing her party. Simply-I would have to try because she told me I couldn't. But, I sure would have wanted to because the festival would have given me another chance to learn about the feminine world I missed and yearned for so much. I was too far away. No more and no less. 

Lisa does not have to like me. Don't care. I can tell you in all my research my family never owned any slaves, fought in every war (back to the revolution) AND I never oppressed a girl/woman in my life. Put them up on pedestals yes. Oppressed no. 

That's why indeed I would have enjoyed going to Lisa's festival. You all know me enough to figure I would enjoy wondering around with Liz enjoying an adult beverage and listening to the music. Forget how much "passing privilege" I have or androgynous I look and to hell with the semantics of what a trans woman versus woymn is. Life is too short. 

Put all this energy into making sure our daughters (transgender or not) are empowered and have a better life. One of inclusion-not exclusion.