Back "In" the Closet at the Nursing Home?

FABULOUSCONNIEDEEFebruary 5, 2015 at 6:20 PM

Cyrsti, the death certificate thing is a real concern of mine. Actually, my main concern is for the way I may have to live out my end days. I don't recall having read much on this subject, but I can't be the only boomer transgender woman who is thinking of this. Having seen the way some of my older relatives have been treated in nursing homes, many of the infirmed are not even respected for their species, let alone their gender. As long as I have control over my life, I will live as a woman. I pray that I will be able to die with dignity and respect the same way, but I can't count on it. Perhaps you could do a blog entry on this subject. How do you think the VA is handling this? Maybe transition ends when we do, but death (or near death) shouldn't change who we've sacrificed so much for to be. Yet, I fear that it may do just that. It's not enough that we know who we are; we need validation from others to make our lives have any real meaning - in death, as in life.

Connie, I understand your death certificate concern but I am with with you in how I may be put in some sort of back room closet in a crummy nursing home somewhere. My confidence lies in my daughter is an absolute force-BUT-I shudder to think of being in an androgynous body with gender markers changed, in a nursing home. It's a very real paranoia to me.

On rare occasions I have seen posts on this topic and even joined an on line group, no pun intended, maybe it just died out? I do believe as more and more of the Boomers hit our age, more publicity will come out.  Good and bad.

As far as the VA goes, they still (I think) just dole out some money for your closet and that's pretty much it.  The big hurdle with them is still getting gender markers changed on discharge (retirement) paperwork.  The key is the VA is beginning to do it, but it's not policy.

So, no Connie, I just haven't seen much on the subject but I do watch -plus if it is any indication, my Frock Magazine articles on being a transgender senior are well read.(other than well written) Most certainly if and when I see more I will "pass" it along. Probably a dirty word in Seattle!

Returning to the Scene of the Crime?

Or should I say the "seen" of the crime? Last night, I had an increasingly rare chance to go back to one of the original places I literally transitioned in.

I have mentioned it before. I have been going in there over seven years beginning when I used to go in there as a guy with my wife.  Two of the original bartenders still work there and remember (I'm sure) some of my not so pleasant nights.  One of the worst was when the manager let a guy play "Dude Looks Like A Lady" three times in a row while they all stood around and laughed. Or the night when a woman caught me in the restroom and called me a pervert. But,  through all the bad wigs and terrible fashion ideas, I managed to come through it all.

Times have changed so much, that outside of a few of the long time regulars, no one gives the transgender woman at the bar much attention.

Will wonders never cease-or the power of HRT?

The Beat Goes On?

Seems to be a regular deal now that when I turn on one of the national morning news shows, intermixed with the disasters, weather and "stuff" is a transgender story-most recently of course on "Bruce" Jenner.  Of course I know he is gender transitioning and showing the effects of HRT-but to this point seemingly still wants to keep it all a big dark secret.  It's fairly rare Connie and I agree so much on a topic, but this one we do:

FABULOUSCONNIEDEEFebruary 4, 2015 at 2:03 PM

I, too, saw the Zoey Tur (left) segment on Inside Edition last night. I thought it interesting that she got herself both "chopped and bobbed" in Thailand before her coming out. It was presented as though she had skipped the cross dressing stage most of us go through before undergoing surgery. Maybe she did, which is why she was getting her makeover on the show. (and meeting ex wife for first time?) But, was she walking so bow-legged because the surgery was recent, or was she just not accomplished enough at presenting herself in a feminine manner? She may be Zoey, but I was left thinking, "Zowie"!

Bruce just pisses me off. I understand that (he) prefers the name Bridget, after discarding the name Brucilla. I say "he" because, until he admits to the obvious, I can't show due respect based on just rumor. Do we really have to wait until May for Bridget's "reality"? Bring in the clowns....Don't bother, they're (already) here.

I felt the best point Zoey made on Thursday's interview on CBS This Morning was a transgender person does NOT have a choice about how she or he needs to live to survive.

Finally, Connie just had to cheap shot The Ohio State University Buckeyes.
What? THE Ohio State University isn't prestigious enough to produce quality transgender women? Well, at least they have a good football team.

Connie, on behalf of the Buckeye Nation-that is a NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP football team and I am sure there are most than a couple quality transgender women and men studying at OSU!  I have to say that green color of make up you are still wearing after Oregon's loss to the Buckeyes in the championship game-does become you!!!

Like any other accomplished trans woman-we can have it all!

We Got Mail!

In response to a recent Cyrsti's Condo blog post "What's in a Name Change?" 

CarolineFebruary 3, 2015 at 12:31 PM

Hard to decide which is the toughest part of transition, hair removal or the paperwork... It is my third post op birthday and it is still not all fixed...

Thanks Caroline! I love it when any of you take your time to share experiences and knowledge! Not to be depressing, but I believe a gender transition ends when you do.  And hopefully (Connie) before your name on the death certificate!

Yet Another Chance for the Military

In typical government fashion, congress, politicians and career bureaucrats, Defense Secretary Hagle is out the door and Ashton Carter is  being "interviewed" for the job.  Now Washington has a huge chance to fix the biggest hypocrisy going on in our country today - How we treat transgender military members. Carter should answer a question without a doubt about what he would do if appointed..But-

I don't think there is a cold chance in Washington,  he will say anything other than he understands  the issue is under "study"- yeah right-but he doesn't know for sure. Then again he could and will look into the phantom study. 

Well,  you military members know if  Carter is approved-his "short timers" calendar will start. New president in a couple years and out he goes to some sort of cushy consulting job and yet a new study.

As you all know, I am a transgender vet and at one time in my past I served my country for the right to lose mine when I came out.  Can you tell I have strong feelings????

Check this story from Salon

The New "It" Girls?

Some times I wonder if I get excited about all the glitz and sometimes glamour of the sudden "it" value of being transgender.  Then I heard about Diane Sawyer and the upcoming Bruce Jenner interview and then found out trans woman  Zoey Tur, formerly known as “Chopper Bob,” would be joining "Inside Edition" as a special corespondent during February.  I thought damn! This is great until I saw the Zoey Tur piece. I don't whose idea was to dress her up like the stereotypical cross dresser at the mall but I just cringed and left the room.  Jenner indeed maybe the most serious and conscience person embarking on a MtF gender transition in the world- but the Kardashian media circus roots make me worry.


Now, I think the true future of the transgender community rests with individuals like the trans woman's story below:  

It was 2 a.m. when Danielle Piergallini composed an email to classmates at Vanderbilt University’s Owen Graduate School of Management announcing she was transgender. She had spent her first semester in the M.B.A. program presenting as male and worried what kind of response she would get after she clicked “send.” She now holds a senior position at American Airlines. 

Or:  
Marnie Florin, (left) who identifies as gender neutral and now works at Google, organized a trans training program at Columbia Business School last year after meeting an incoming transgender student.


If you noticed, both of these individuals come from a couple of very prestigious schools.  Great examples of how bright the future can be out of the bright circus lights being the new "It" culture! Much different than the "it" I used to be called.

Cyrsti's Condo "From the Hart"

Cyrsti's Condo "Woman of the Day"

Danielle Marelli is a 20 something  transsexual movie and television actress from Orlando, Florida. Born male on July 16, 1991, Danielle grew up a feminine child and was diagnosed with Gender Identity Disorder of Children at age 8 years old and began to transition.

Cyrsti's Condo "S"and "D"

On occasion I still run across the individual who dismisses quickly they could never look like a woman.  Truly, I have happened along a few of men who looking feminine at all would be a real process....but-

There are just as many men who won't/can't put the work into an exterior passing presentation. At the least, logic tells us you need to start with the basics.  You need to watch your weight and take care of your skin.

Lately, to get ahead of the summer fashion curve, I have been stepping up my game.  It's no fun to diet by yourself and don't you just have to have a diet to talk to another woman about? Now I do, and yes it is working.  Of course, as my snarky sister in law commented "well, men lose weight faster than women anyhow." I shot back " How bout a man who has been on female hormones for two years?"

So far so good, I have lost a certain amount of poundage which I can talk about in feminine circles and make me look a little better.

As far as my skin goes, facing 65 years of wear and tear in the mirror is tough but the best I can do is take care of what I have.  Again I have fallen back on Liz's expertise on moisturizers and skin cleansers etc.

It's quite the project! On the bright side, you guys are now allowed to take better care of your skin and hair. So, being a cross dresser isn't so dramatic.  Just forget about the 3 minute grooming process before work in the morning!