Saturday, August 23, 2014

Stealth and the "Pink" Pickett Fence?

For those of you of age, you grew up watching the iconic mothers of the 50's and early 60's like June Cleaver.  Mom's were the stay home types who kept the household running and had the dinner ready when hubby came home.  My Mom wasn't like that (school teacher) but almost all my friends mothers were. So the feminine stereotype so aptly pictured by our unnamed cross dresser below was alive and well.

Then Dr. Stanley Biber burst upon the scene as one of the primary sexual reassignment surgeons in the U.S. Biber performed his first sex change operation in 1969 after a transsexual woman asked him if he would be willing and able to do so.  Biber retired in 2003, at age 80, because his malpractice insurance premiums had risen to levels which he could not afford, probably because of his advanced age. Marci Bowers, a gynecologist and transsexual woman herself, took over his SRS practice. Biber was hospitalized in January 2006 with complications from pneumonia, to which he succumbed on January 16 while hospitalized. Biber was 82 at the time of his death.

Deserved or not, one of the basics of going through SRS from the Dr. Biber's era of thinkers was the newly "minted" woman should go forth into the world, find a man, have sex with him and disappear. (stealth) For God Sakes as Ophra used to say "why would you want to buy a new car (vagina) and not drive it?" (At the risk of getting too "X" rated, my lesbian friends tell me they could drive my "new car" better than any man." )  

Is the Dress too much Dear? Cyrsti's Transgender CondoBut the question of even needing a "new car" doesn't define who I am or my life.  I know I can't meet the budgetary constraints of a store bought vagina or want to think of the health considerations at my age.With or without the new car, I have been shown a path to a wonderful life I never dreamed I could have.

So now, do I just walk away and go stealth or is there another road for me? I believe there is and it's in the example I mentioned in an earlier blog post about how I'm beginning to market my Etsy shoppes.

In the beginning of course, I did use my name and my male name only came into play when legally I had to use it behind the scenes because I had not changed my gender markers. (It all made for some interesting calls to Ebay, who were cool.)

Now, as I said, I'm seeking a broader social marketing base and it could be said I am in some sort of stealth mode because I don't say "Hey! this shop is a TRANSGENDER owned business."  But, I don't hide the fact it is either.  My hope is, that again the world sees me as just another person trying to make a go of it.

Maybe I'm naive enough to think how I identify would not make or break the sale of a vintage vase or comic book.  If it did, the person could go to hell, but overall I think of it as my one small Laverne Cox style statement:  Think of me first as a person you respect and oh yeah-I happen to be transgender.

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

After just seeing a blond driving down the street in her new bright yellow convertible with the top down and matching bright yellow hat, it occurred to me-

"When a woman buys a new car, she buys a matching hat, when a man does, he tries to find a matching woman."

Award Winning

This morning, being the radical person I am, I changed up my routine while the joe (coffee) was brewing, instead of burrowing into my email accounts, I just had to pass along this post from one of the few Tuba playing, super gardening transgender women on the planet....Paula Goodwin.  It comes from her Paula's Place blog and is called "Who am I?"  The subject is what makes a blog a "gender blog?":
Paula (on the right)
Here is an excerpt:  The other day I noticed a comment on Stana's Femulate which made an observation about "Gender Blogs", now it is usually the poss on blogs that get me thinking but this comment made me wonder, what is it that makes a "Gender Blog"? and is this one?

It seems that I'm not the only one thinking along these lines at the moment, Cyrsti noted on her Condo that she had made a few "genderless posts" and the wonderful Hanna wondered of she should be writing about more than just clothes and makeup, I enjoy these blogs and would say to them both, don't try to change, just carry on doing what comes naturally.

And more:

Certainly it was my gender issues that made me start the blog, it soon became a safe place for me to note my thoughts and feelings, and occasionally get some feedback from people who had walked this path before me.   It was a chance to talk about my outings, discuss my latest clothing purchases and talk about makeup.   But soon the rest of my life leaked in.   I am not just transgender but many other things as well, so I hope that is reflected in my blog, I know the blogs I enjoy reading most are reflect the whole person, not just their gender identity.  

First of all I was flattered to be included in Paula's thoughts and two, the excerpts above are just a portion of her thoughts. (Follow the link above for the whole post.)   

Finally, my feelings on the matter of writing a "gender blog" is this.  When I started Cyrsti's Condo, it even had a different name and was a suggestion of an on line acquaintance who I had shared my  cross dressing experiences with.  More than several people seemed to be be interested in my antics and wanted to read more.  Then my orientation began to change with HRT and living more and more as a transgender woman- and I kept writing.  So to this point, you all have transitioned with me to the point of even buying my book "Stilletto's on Thin Ice." - if you wanted the in depth version.

So I suppose, in many ways I'm beginning to feel the same way as transgender women such as Laverne Cox and Carmen Carerra do:  I am actively merging all my social media accounts involving my non gender related business and interests into one account on Twitter, Pinterest, etc...I do all of this and I just happen to be transgender too. An example is,  if you go to my Pinterest page you will see boards reflecting my love for vintage items and "ambiance" home decorating ideas as well as the usual plethora of cross dresser, transgender pix.

Who knows? Maybe as I merge everything I love into one person and project it into the world, I won't be writing a "gender blog" anymore.  But that is another topic for another post and thank you Paula!



Friday, August 22, 2014

Cross Style

Whatever label we want to stick on ourselves-cross dresser, transgender, gender fluid or whatever, our style becomes an integral part of us.  As we make the migration into the girls sandbox of the high maintenance gender, style is as big a part of our lives as most of the genetic women in the world.

Of course most of us (of age)  go through our formative cross dressing years without much guidance.  We knew what we wanted to look like from the confines of our masculine world.  If guys thought we looked like women, we passed and all was good.  Then of course, if we pursued it further, we found the world put so many other expectations on us as we transitioned.  As I have mentioned here in Cyrsti's Condo and beat it to death in "Stilettos on Thin Ice" (my book), when you play in the girls sandbox you need their approval to go forth in the world.  Everyone looks at women-especially other women.

I write often here in the Condo about my style which although it has always ran counter to many of the other cross dressers I met along the way is still a definite style.  Similar to the great majority of genetic women.  (The ones who don't where I live are the females.)

So, while I am dazzled anymore about why my posts from three years ago were so into what I was wearing and today are into what I am thinking-I took the time to pause and consider why.

The simplest answer is HRT has helped me to either give the world a highly androgynous view of me or a feminine one.  But, I thought, not so fast-I do routinely out style my genetic female friends (except Liz) and why is that?

#Bohemian StyleThe simplest answer to that (for my simple mind) is DUH! the most attractive women in the room are the ones who look like they aren't trying.  It's tough to do that, being genetic, transgender or cross dresser. My example is the woman on the left.  She is an example of my ideal style.  Now, just between us girls, we all know, I'm not getting there in this lifetime.

Instead, I go the next best route and try to incorporate as many of the Boho/Gypsy aspects of her style into mine.  The beaded necklaces alone represent my increased awareness of Native American and earth based spirituality.

Plus, when I go this route, I have a deeper understanding of the Stana's and Mandy's of the world.  I think I have read so much of Femulate I know exactly what would be in Stana's wardrobe and I'm beginning to learn the same insight from some chatting I have done with Mandy Sherman.

Our paths through the sandbox are the same, often the fun part is how we look getting there.  One of the oldest sayings in the cross dresser's handbook was the excuse we dressed in women's clothes only because a mans' was so boring.

All true to be certain,  but if you are not able to "let your girl flags fly", you simply will be missing much of the fun.   As you can imagine from the woman above, back in the day, I really wanted to be one of the girls letting their freak flags fly and I am over joyed the style is coming back!

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day!

Yakici GuzelOur feature cover today is the Turkish mtf transgender beauty Yakici Guzel!

Female Impersonators Versus Drag Queens

Female impersonator, Lee Shaw.Some time ago here in Cyrsti's Condo featuring Baby Martell and Thomas Brayden commented:

For women it is often acknowledged in past times to allow them to would like to undercover dress them selves as the member of the other sexual regarding work in addition to career factors particularly for men took over career where they can pass in addition to are men. For the other area in the gold coin males have worked in female impersonator orientated occupations obtaining crossdessed since ladies.

Our vintage impersonator to the left is actually Lee Shaw.

Thanks to Thomas for the comment which may indeed be a "Google translation."

I "think" what the translation was trying to come up with was, in the past women would disguise themselves to work successfully as men.  Men on the other hand who could pass as beautiful  women could find work to as female impersonators. 

The reason I say that is a translation, a long time ago I chatted a couple times with a transgender woman in France.  Being the "tricky" person I am, I tried to use the translating tool on my end.  She politely told me me DON'T! It was coming out on her end as really screwy. 

Which brings me to the point I made in our Sunday edition, I don't think of -or mention the tons of readers we have from around the world.  I am old school and just humbled by the process!  Thanks to all of you!

Plus, any sort of translation takes me back to my Army days when I lived in Thailand and Germany for an extended time- I never did pick up any feel for the languages.  Some would argue I still struggle with English!

So again, thanks to Thomas for giving it a go...as Paula would say!

Finally, feel free to comment in your native language and there is a good chance I can get it translated on my end - if you tell me where it is coming from.  A year or so ago I was even able to come up with a translation from a Maylasian  person in Kuala Lumpor.

Sometimes it is a small world after all!

Complacency

  Summer Image with padding. JJ Hart As I did my best to transition from male to female there were many times I experienced moments of compl...