Top Ten Transgender Positives from 2013

Two respected sources recently put together their 10 Important Transgender Moments of 2013 


The Advocate collaborated with Mara Keisling, (left) the executive director of the National Center for Transgender Equality, to discuss what 2013 meant for trans rights. She highlighted the many victories seen this year, concluding that 2013 was a true year of momentum and sharing that perspective in a similar feature that ran first on The Huffington Post.


Follow the link above for your own look!

Coming Out Tutorial

In this Cyrsti's Condo big screen feature, Nicki talks about her first year of MtF transitioning.  She provides an excellent look into a barely 20 something transgender woman's life, coming out to parents and more.
Check out the video.  See if you agree how much sadness still seems be in those big beautiful eyes.

It's Never Too Late

I happened upon a post by another transgender woman who is transitioning later in life and living to write about it! (Just kidding!)
It's called "When to say Yes to the Dress" by Courtney Bedell on the Baltimore Gay Life site.

Courtney's story is similar to many of us.  She met the same resistance, harbored the same inner turmoil and ultimately reached the points we are now in life. Not so surprisingly in the transgender culture, we are called "pretenders" because we waited so long to transition.

Six year old Coy Mathis was used by Courtney as an example of a "no doubter" transgender child who just knew she wasn't a boy.  Coy of course also benefitted immensely from a family who has battled for their daughter's right to be herself.  I'm guessing, immensely rare for anyone of my age.

Here's an excerpt from more of the post:

By 12 I felt strongly that I was a girl but unlike Coy, I couldn’t talk about it to my parents, or anyone else. I did what most TGs did 20 or 30 years ago: deny, deny, deny! At 12 I was wearing my older sister’s dresses and using her make-up, but not in public. Despite my having plenty of friends adolescence was a lonely and devastating time for me. I could only be myself when I was alone so I often hooked school to spend the day in a dress curling my hair and putting on make-up. 

 Nobody ever saw me looking pretty—ask any teenage girl if that isn’t a version of hell! I wanted to tell my mom but I just couldn’t find the words. Even when she might have picked up on the clues she didn’t open the subject. When I saw a psychiatrist at my parent’s behest it took me two years to tell him I was convinced that I was a girl and had XX female chromosomes. Naturally, he thought I was simply gay or a cross-dresser. I continued to live two separate lives for another 20 unhappy years.

Sounds familiar, right? Here's more:

 So, the answer to “when do you say yes to the dress?” is simply, as soon as possible! From my own experience, I say do yourself a huge favor and don’t waste half your life denying your true essence! Don’t endure decades of pain and loneliness waiting for the ideal time to change. We often wait until the situation becomes severe enough to outweigh our fear of the potential upheaval our transition will cause. It doesn’t have to be that way if we approach it preemptively before our lives become unbearable or unmanageable.

 See a gender therapist, go to a support group (Tranquility at GLCCB), search your feelings, explore your options, sort it all out and learn what action is best for you. You may decide it is time to transition or you may discover transition is not right for you­—the key word here is “discovery.”

Follow the link above for more!

Stop the Damn Bitching Already!

I believe I have whined, complained and yes, even bitched about how HRT has destroyed the thermostat in my body here in the Condo.  Go ahead and say it, "no one twisted your arm to start HRT Cyrsti, so get the hell over it."

I accept all of that except - after a brief respite from the minus teens wind chills we are having here in my part of Ohio, we are expecting temps to go to 20 year lows next week.  Really? 

I have a confession to make:  Cyrsti's Condo does not over look the mountains and the beach in the tropics but is in a circa 1860's drafty big brick building in Ohio. Our weather extremes though, do make you appreciative when Momma Nature throws you a bone and the temp rises to 50 in January - summertime.

To combat the cold though, I'm heading south again- to Cincinnati where the outside temp will be nearly as cold but the inside temp will be toasty with the help of a "B.A.F" - a big ass fireplace. Sorry about all the cussing in this Cyrsti's Condo post but this cold weather just gets me in this mood.

Setting aside all my whining, there are benefits to facing up to this cold "thang" as a girl. First of all, you are allowed to be cold by other women and men.  Secondly, you can stylishly "layer" yourself up to stay warm and look good too.  My best purchase of the season so far were my fur lined snow boots which fit over my hand knitted wool knee socks for warm "tootsies".  Of course my "imagined" overstock of sweaters, leggings and scarves all of the sudden isn't so overstocked at all!

It's too bad that "karma", "cold" and "cussing" all don't begin with a "C".  If they did, I could come up with some sort of inspired thought of why Karma was getting even with me for making fun of women all those years for being cold.

How about, I just can't or I give up Momma Karma, I'm sorry!  You were right and you win!

Cyrsti's Condo "Trans Woman of the Day."

A week or so ago we mentioned a "surprise" transgender beauty's appearance on Project Runway All Stars.  The show brought together a group of popular/established fashion bloggers from around the world and Gigi's Gorgeous New's Network blog made the cut!

During the show, Gigi proved she was much more than a pretty face as she owned the runway to the delight I'm sure, to transgender women around the world.

I have followed her YouTube videos for quite awhile and was particularly impressed when she came out as transgender and the work she has done which included her sister. (Thanks to many of you who pointed her video's out too!!! You are the best!)

In the -10(F) degree weather around the Condo, Gigi's work is certainly a thawing influence.  She is just another example of how bright the future can be for transgender men and women everywhere.

Of course you can follow the link above to her Blog.

New Years Fashion Police

I have actually had a couple of you "Condo-ites" ask what Liz and I wore on New Years Eve.
She out "pizazzed" me with a multi colored silky tunic top which draped over her thighs with leggings.  She also started out with a modest pair of heels for the short walks we were under taking but we went back to the hotel and she changed to a pair of metallic flats quickly. I wasn't have anything to do with heels as always!

I went with my 3/4 length patterned black blouse/top, black leggings and slouch boots.  We weren't going anywhere too fancy, unlike last year, so comfort trumped "glam" this year. On the other hand, our nails were polished, our makeup was top notch and a great time was had by all!

As I have written here in Cyrsti's Condo in the past, the mirror I worship the most is the public eye. New Year's Eve, the public was very accepting of me.  Interestingly, now I have several different scenarios to consider.

I am moving away from "Hey! isn't that a guy in a dress." To a very real possibility the public may think we are two lesbians.  So before I get "my freak on" concerning a real or perceived public reaction, I have to understand where it's coming from. Here's an example.  Our server where we ate,  quite possibly was a lesbian too,  gave us excellent service and better yet, spread that Ladies word around liberally. While it's true,  the more I transition, the less all of this is important to me at all.  Why I care at all just comes from years of negative conditioning.

Being identified as a lesbian though is a whole different idea than I ever considered, almost the same as becoming androgynous in the public's eye. The L identification also changes my interaction with men again. Which is another topic for another day!

Regardless, of over thinking this whole gender process and being repetitive, I felt truly wonderfully comfortable and at ease in my own skin and clothes on New Years Eve.

My only disappointment was I faded early and could only make it till 2 am!

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Woman of the Day"

Our transgender feature woman today -  is Daniella Daniloff from Romania.  

"Passing" the Eye Test

Those of you Cyrsti's Condo sports fanatics probably have heard the term "passing the eye test" in a negative connotation. An example is a football player who totally "looks" the part and even has the physical skills to be a star. For what reason though, the player never makes it. Compare it to the beautiful cross dresser you know who never quite captures the essence of being a woman!

I had a chance to check my theory last night on New Years Eve,  as my eye test told me an incredible amount of 20 something Cincinnati area women would start 2014 with a cold - or worse.  Very "little black dresses"  and very high heels were the norm on the very chilly streets of Cincinnati. Obviously, coats were optional! OK, I know I sound like someone's Mom and my intention is not to critique the young women last night. I would have loved to have ever looked like them! Proof was the rule of thumb I experienced when my girlfriend and I were trying to hail a taxi : The longest legs in the shortest skirt with the highest heels, gets the first cab. Guess who got the last cab?

Going back to when we left the hotel, Liz and I tried to define my "style".  This was as close as we could come. A "shaggy haired, too much eye makeup, good old girl" partying with my girlfriend on New Years Eve.  Take the hair in the blog profile picture with the makeup in the Google+ picture and that's close. In short, I thought I looked great and  passed my own mental "eye test".  As I have always said "confidence is your greatest fashion accessory."  Mine last night led to a  thoroughly enjoyable evening. We went to a couple places including one of the newer "brew houses" which overlooks the Ohio between the Red's and Bengal's stadia.  If you don't know, Cincinnati has a huge German heritage and it's finally beginning to reclaim it's past as a home to many quality craft brewers.

I'm very much a creature of habit and this was our second year in a row greeting the New Year on the banks of the Ohio in downtown Cincinnati.  This year, I was on a confidence roll other than the looks department. For once,  I didn't let the "rest room" paranoia creep in and ruin much of my evening. I just figured I would use the women's restroom when I needed to and if anyone bitched, I would pee down their leg- not mine.

Looking back, the most interesting experience of the evening came as we were checking into our hotel under my female name.  The clerk was having absolutely no problems with the process until she asked for my drivers license/I.D.  The picture on the license shows a very androgynous me - with my very male name.  She just paused for a second, didn't say anything except "sign here Mam" on the paperwork. I knew I passed the "eye test" and she thought damn that woman is wearing too much eye makeup and has too much hair for a woman her age.

I'm not exactly sure men my age feel the same way!

Dropping The Ball

Just change the date to protect the innocent! I'm fairly sure you have seen what happens!