Tossing the "T"

Many different directions I can go with this. Maybe "testosterone", or how about "tranny"?

I have written many times here in Cyrsti's Condo how I feel about the use of the gender slur.  If you have ever read any of Parker Molloy's posts, you know she writes well and with authority  Recently, she wrote on the subject of gender slurs, primarily from the privileged group with the TGLB culture- gay cisgender males.

Here are a couple excerpts from Molloy's post:

"A common argument in favor of using "tranny" is, "But that word is just part of drag culture!" Here's my rebuttal: I don't care. "Drag culture" or not, that's not a word that's appropriate to throw around. It's a hateful slur that is often the last thing that trans women hear before being beaten or murdered. Just as it wouldn't be acceptable for me to go around using the word "f*ggot," as I'm not a gay man, it's inappropriate for gay men and male-identified drag queens to use "tranny."

and:


(In The Huffington Post) " Joe Hutcheson blogged about his evolution toward accepting the use of female pronouns and terminology -- "she," "her," and "girl" -- for male-identified gay people. That's cute and all, but some folks actually care about pronouns. If someone is going to call me "she," "her," or "girl," I want it to be because that person, you know, sees me as a woman, not because they're just so super-sassy that they say, "Pronouns and identification be damned. I'm calling you 'girl' because, um, fierce!" Do whatever you want, gay dudes, just stop doing things that harm trans people in the process. Can you manage that? It's bad enough that while trans people still struggle to use the restroom without legal repercussions, we're expected to sit quietly as marriage rights take the bulk of money donated to LGBT (more like GLb...[t]) organizations. We shouldn't have to worry about whether or not you're going to stab us in the back with words too.

 In conclusion, don't say "tranny." Just don't. It doesn't matter if you do drag, or if "it's not meant as a slur." If you are a cisgender gay man, that is not your word to use."

There is much more to read of course and you can go here to the Huffington Post to check it out.

As a side note, this happened to me several months ago when I was in a rather small local gay venue I go to every now and then:
The performing drag queens pretty much are the same and in fact one of them is a co owner of the place.  They kind of get aggravated when I really don't watch the shows often. (Seen one drag show-seen them all.) When they were taking a break between sets, one of the drag queens came by and said "glad you could get out tonight."  In my part of the world that's commonly referred to as "glad you could get all dolled up and way from your "drab" (guy) world tonight." I quickly told the queen and the bartender that I didn't have to get anywhere tonight and I live my life this way. What was I wearing? My favorite "boyfriend" jeans flip flops and a frilly tank top. It wasn't like I was doing drag. The queen was quick to stereotype me though and a chance for me to tersely lay some trans education on them. 

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl of the Day!"

Our "Pre Thanksgiving Day" is cooking with the "Jersey Barbie" Kendra Maserati.

Females or Women?

Ever since I can remember, I have been fascinated with the feminine gender.  As with many of you, it's difficult to explain the deep, deep yearning I had to be a woman.  

Of course any success I have experienced in the transition process has been self taught and I wonder when I see genetic females who aren't women, I wonder why.

REALLY?

One of my pet gender ideas is "just because you are female, you aren't necessarily a woman." When I watch my daughter "interact and coach" my 13 year old granddaughter I understand why.  She is actively involved in how she stands, dresses and even does traditional feminine past times such as baking.  I'm dazzled when Ms 13 year old Math and Science wizard bakes.

On the other hand, I just don't grasp how so many females have no idea or will power to be women.  Then again, a dear friend who passed away some time ago told me it seemed to her so many women weren't teaching their daughters to be...women.

So maybe that's it. Where I live, we have an extremely high teen maternity rate. I know the stats reflect more than kids having kids and young females just being "baby makers". Self esteem and family conditions play into their lives too.

None of that takes away from the fact I don't understand why these females so easily toss chances to be women away.  Especially when I know so many transgender women who can't wait to get out of the closet and have their day in the sun.

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl of the Day"

Certainly Asian transgender women may have the corner as some of the most beautiful trans women in the world.  Then again Latina women such as transsexual Daniela Marquina and others may challenge that belief.

Cyrsti's Condo "Horror Scope"

It must be the approaching comet Ison that has been disrupting my "scopes" the last couple weeks.  All of them have been predicting inner turmoil of some sort!

Libra (September 23-October 22): Be careful of what you say and how you say it to your boo, because they’ll be listening with an extra sensitive ear now. Plus, the first person they’ll go to, to dissect what you’re saying is the person that is least likely to support you. Of course, you shouldn’t have to fight the haters, but know this is a crucial week for maneuvering your mind through this madness.

For your very own "scope" go here to theFrisky and hope for better news than I have had!

Defending Our Liberty

This compelling new media series is designed to share the reality of transgender service members' lives.

It's coming to our screens this Spring 2014. Check it out on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen:

Trans Bi

Before you think I'm referring to Bi Sexual, I'm not. I'm referring to Bi Polar. 

Thank goodness, the bi-polar medical condition has come out of the closet too over recent years. It's a real deal that can be treated in most cases (like mine).  Don't quote me but I think there are many levels of being "Bi". I compare it to what we experience in the transgender community.  Some of us desire to explore the other gender by cross dressing, others desire major transsexual SRS.

If your memory is better than mine, you will remember I mentioned here in Cyrsti's Condo I was diagnosed in the 1980's as being Bi Polar.  The reason I'm bringing that up is, as I read some personal stories from different groups I'm in, I often wonder if an individual here or there may be "Bi" too.

Here's how my diagnosis happened. As a result of several episodes of cheating on my wife with myself  (See the "I'm no Angel" post) I agreed to gender counseling as an attempt to save our marriage.  Very early in the process, I told my therapist about my episodes of extreme "up's". For days on end, the skies were bluer, the music better and I could conquer the world. Conversely, the days that followed, I could barely pull myself out of bed and face the world. I felt as if I was running in sand and couldn't accomplish anything.

Without hesitation she said she doubted my "condition" was caused by gender dysphoria. More than likely I was Bi Polar. Back in those days, I thought my next stop would be heavy sedation or the "rubber room". But over the next year or so she prescribed several different medications to try and indeed found one that has worked wonders for me ever since. In fact, the medication helped stop most of the severe anger management issues I had at work which were coming close to getting me fired.

Having said all of that and again I'm speaking only for myself, when I began the process of being accepted to start HRT, my current "Bi meds" regime raised huge flags for my therapist and medical doctors.  Of course the HRT meds themselves can cause depression after the initial rush of changes to one's body. I had to sign an oath in blood I would notify them if I felt the "elevator" going down (depression) significantly and staying there.

I don't play with it and do monitor my "elevator" constantly.

My purpose of this post is information.  For the longest time I blamed any and all of my noggin issues on my gender issues and some of the blame was wrong.  Another one of my "favorites" was I was just crazy. Along the way I began to understand too a better term for me could be "eccentric".  Again I was blaming my inner boy/girl turmoil on being "crazy".  Indeed, I do encounter my share of true "crazies" on the web, I find many others who use the term more as a crutch. Being transgender does not make you crazy.

It's time to put my "shingle" back away and again my only purpose of this post was information.  If any of this happens to fit you though, maybe you should bring up your symptoms during your next visit to the therapist.

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

"For every man who thinks he is the lead dog, there is a woman in his life who is wagging him."

Cyrsti Hart

Cyrsti's Condo Cover Girl of the Day

Sexy transsexual Chamila Asanka... Miss Sri Lanka from the Miss International Queen Pageant 2011