Tears and the Transgender Girl

Another of my "trifecta" of hormonal results involves tears and the trans girl.
Of course men crying is rejected as weakness- except in times of extreme duress and that was me.

Now I discover I feel deeper senses of joy or melancholy but certainly haven't bought into the fallacy that women are the weaker gender. Ironically, crying still isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of feeling. Memories, friends and world are suddenly closer to my emotions.

I still can't say I'm reduced to huge bouts of sobbing but then again I know several genetic women who aren't either. I can say though I have cried more in the last eight or ten months than the last last 50 years.
As in so many things in this transition process, I didn't set off to do a scientific experiment or to add relevance to my feminine inner self. It just happened.

Taking all of this a step further, I recently received an email from a person considering beginning HRT at the age of 60. The worry was the effects would be lessened at an older age. At the age of 63, I believe my hormonal effects have been nothing short of wonderful. Especially considering the minimal dosages I have been on for 6 of 11 months. The deepened senses of joy and melancholy are emotions I would have missed if I didn't start the hormones,
Of course in my decidedly non medical opinion, age brings on a natural HRT anyhow.  Certainly I have less testosterone in my body now that when I was 25. Another post for another day!

I'm sure those of you who stop by Cyrsti's Condo who have experienced much more transition than I may agree much of the process sort of sneaks up on you. You hope the changes are coming and sometimes they may involve a few tears. But as an genetic woman will tell you tears are just another part of the gender and not necessarily a disaster.

Lemay

From the "Tuck of the Town" in San Francisco

Lemay in drag   

Beautiful for a Cause

A point that is lost on me quite a bit when I come across an especially convincing womanless beauty pageant contestant or winner is the reason behind their participation. Many times the contestants are donning drag for really good causes such as Mitchell Ashford  on the right.
The womanless beauty pageant was raising much needed funds for a cancer victim-well worth the effort on those nails Mitchell!

Then there are the others for the ages who have donned drag for laughs and money or personal career advancement.

Back in the day during my youth and in the the prime of black & white television it wasn't uncommon to see any of the major comics in drag for a laugh. Perhaps the best known was Milton Berle.

Uncle Miltie just could have been just a little over the top in the picture on the right.

Of course as time went on we saw the likes of Geraldine courtesy of Flip Wilson.
Below.

Then again, this post didn't start out to be a history lesson and I really wanted to finish it with a giant cheap shot to Rude Paul.  But it is getting close to the serious holiday season - so I better act like it!
I want to be good for Santa!!!!

Yikes! There is a Man in the Rest Room!

Last night was girls football night out.  All of us drink the big glasses of draft beer and as all of us beer drinkers know, any consumption to speak of - off to the bathroom you go.
Of course last night was no different and I had to go. When I went into the rest room, it was empty except for one woman on her phone by the sinks. As I went into the stall to pee, I heard another woman come in and then intermittent comments from a very male voice. Of course two or three things went through my mind including wow is there another trans person in here or did indeed I have too much beer?
I left the stall and came around the corner to see two very sheepish women looking at me.  They quickly reassured me the man was actually on a speaker phone and they were having a water problem at their house. We laughed as I washed my hands.
I was so glad my privacy wasn't violated (ha!) and I got a chance to pass along a cute restroom story for a change in Cyrsti's Condo.

Womanless Pageant Photo's

Here in Cyrsti's Condo and seemingly everywhere in our community there is a strong interest in womanless beauty pageants.
I always mention Stana's Femulate site as the gold standard.
For some reason I came across this site with an incredible number of pictures on Yahoo.
Most of course aren't the best quality and many you probably have seen before but the trick to many of us is to find the "winners" who seem to be enjoying the process just a little too much.  Of course there is nothing wrong with that!

Lauren Foster

Lauren Foster grew up in colonial South Africa during the 1960s. With the love and support of her family, Lauren came to grips with her transgender life, underwent a very experimental procedure at the time and went on to become a successful international photographic and runway model.
She moved to New York City in 2002 and landed up on the cover of Next Magazine. Here is a link to her Facebook
page.

I'm Still Here!

Well I woke up this morning and found I did NOT win the 16 zillion dollar Power Ball Lottery. The odds of winning were something close to getting hit by lightning 175 times- in the same month!!! Ouch! That would hurt.
Sadder yet is no television reporter stopped me where I bought the ticket and asked me what I would do with the money. Hmmmm....something good and decent for humanity? Like a boob job and some facial feminizing surgery? Or how about research on controlling lightening hitting me?

Transgender Vietnamese Talent

Lam Chi Khanh was a fairly well-known male singer from the southwestern part of Vietnam.  Recently she decided that she was more comfortable being a woman. Also Khanh told  the public that the change was not a public relations stunt  but a reflection of her real identity.

Perhaps Vietnam's most popular transsexual entertainer is singer, song writer Cindy Thai Tai shown below.

Looking Back and Forward

Following the weekend's intense activity, I finally have had an opportunity to reflect on life as I know it now.
Recapping just a bit, Saturday's burial of my outward male and emergence of my female self was intense to say the least. Sunday I sort of curled into a ball, Monday I worked diligently on all the projects I do and last night I went out for a drink to the place where much of my public coming out process happened.
I'm going to stop and quote a loving and giving quote from my Mom now: " Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes". As "non frilly" as that quote may seem-it's true.

Last night, I thought back on all the times I went to this very busy upscale sports bar in various "experimental" outfits and wigs. I've told whomever will listen (and some who won't) I was very much a trial and error transition person. (mostly error) I was fairly certain this feminine direction I was heading was the correct one but I had to find out for sure. One of the those moments occurred where I was last night. Years ago I was sitting there and this incredibly warm sense of well being came over me.  No, it wasn't the beer and I didn't have to run out and buy a store bought vagina- I just knew I found my true self.

At any rate, the last five years have been one hell of a trip. I went back to the dusty archives to pass along an ancient post from Cyrsti's Condo, called Weekend Update.  I was interested to see how completely I was into the psychical aspect of the moment...shaving legs, clothes etc. I won't pretend to say I'm not into the psychical aspect of being a woman now but it ceases to be the all encompassing factor. I guess it's important to me to look as good as I can but it's not the defining factor of my femininity. Again, I have been so lucky to have learned from a close group of genetic female friends currently and in the past on what a woman is and isn't.

As I look forward to the time I have left on this world, I'm incredibly excited what is around the next corner for me on this journey.  I'm never so sure what dose of positive karma brought me to this point. I compare my life as a human and a transgender person to an old school pin ball machine. Don't we all play this game?   Five silver balls and we are done- game over-see ya!  As hard as we try, we try to aim the silver balls and hope for big points. Skill is one thing though but what about luck and destiny? If you know those answers-please can I talk to you!!!!!

So looking forward, I'm hoping to have at least one or two balls left to play...and have as much fun as karma will let me!