More Andrej!

I've passed along the story of male model "Andrej Pejic"
Here is another stunning picture!

A "Teflon" Life?

I get many questions of when or if I would go full time as a girl.
I spend precious time considering if and when I could or would.
The fact remains I can. Being out to my daughter removes the only real family obstacle to the move. Finances are the only remaining question. I've gone this far, I'm certain I can figure out the rest!
I recently read a comment concerning a person who lived successfully on both sides of the gender spectrum. He/she felt no friction between the two lives. Like me, she was considering a "boob" job or electrolysis but not much else. As long as his female side had a rewarding, reassuring life all was good.
Now the future? Who knows?
Teflon does wear out. We will see.

A BIG Week!

My daughter and I scheduled a mid morning  "brunch" This week.
I'm not getting any younger (LoL) and have long desired coming out to her for personal and practical reasons.
The personal is obvious and the practical is because she is the immediate responder if something thing happened to me. I really didn't want her to walk into my house and discover a huge amount of female clothes and makeups.
She normally steers clear of the "what if" death question as do most 30ish year olds. For some reason this time she didn't. Let me preface this by repeating that her mother knew of my "trans" leanings from day one of our relationship. I've always assumed my daughter might know.
She asked about how I wanted everything handled when I pass.  Answered all of that and I then said there was an important part of my personal life that would have to be discussed that would involve her.
I quickly added "later". Well, a couple minutes "later" I just told her "you need to know I'm transgendered". Well there it was. The elephant in the corner now had a name.
Of course I was watching closely for her initial reaction. Did she know already or not. Well she did not.
She was truly surprised, but not in a negative sense. I told her I have felt this way most of my life and on a couple occasions could have made the decision to live full time as a female.  This was much more than just putting on a dress on the weekend or wearing panties under my male clothing.
As the conversation moved on, I told her the story of my brother blaming my Mom, her Mom wondering which one of me was going to pick her up at the airport and my Mom's reaction when I came out to her.
At that point my daughter was getting aggravated. The ironic part of all of this was her biggest problem with all of this was "why was I the last to know?"
Needless to say, the pressure was now off and I was on "cloud nine" for several days.
Where do we go from here? It's all up to her. I told her about this blog, but didn't give her the address. If she wants to persue the real me it's here. I will see if she does.
I understand if she doesn't. She has three kids who more than take up her time.
The bottom line is that both of us feel closer to each other. How lucky I am!

Nothing Ventured,Nothing Gained

One of the most beneficial parts of doing this blog is hearing from you!
Over the past year I have mentioned girls such as "Stana, Misty and Janie" What all three have in common is an uncommon courage to go out and live their new lives.
Recently, "Angel and Draco" have stepped forward to give us all a glimpse of their lives.
All of these persons have ventured out and have shared the experience with us.
They ventured out and gained! I understand the many of us don't have the flexibility or the circumstances to follow in the footsteps of these persons.
On the other hand, I hear so many with the well worn excuse "I don't look as good as you so I set alone in my closet".
I guarantee all of the people I have mentioned felt the way you feel at some point in their life. Very few of us have had the physical attributes to present easily as the other gender. On the other hand, there are a zillion "how to" guides to improve yourself. If you use them.
If you have the opportunity, 2011 could be the year you find your true self!

Read a Book!

I have not read this book but have seen it recommended on other sites so I thought I would pass it along to you!
It is reviewed as a great source for the great majority of the public who know nothing of us!

It's My Own Fault!

I've told you all before I am a "member" of a couple dating sites.
I've got to tell you I have found  a couple of really close friends and good people BUT...
The so called "straight guys" kill me!  At what point does a woman with male anatomy in a porn film cease to be a male? At what point does the man who wants her cease to be straight?
I know I'm dealing with "black and white" labels here in a very "gray" world, but deal with them we will.
Here are a few of my frustrations before you say "what did you expect!"
If you are the "straight" guy contacting me, why is sex the first question after hello? Or how about do you have any other pictures? Do you look like a woman?
The pictures are there. You make the determination.  When I walk past you three things could happen. You think I'm attractive, you don't even notice or that's a guy. Pretty simple stuff. A couple of the restroom pictures are simply posted to prove I was where I talked about. Sure I tried to post some of the best. Wouldn't you?
Here's another good one.  Would you look like a man in the bedroom? DUH!
If I do my absolute best to look as good as I can, why wouldn't that continue over? Would I magically forget the black lingerie, garters, stockings and heels? Guess who will never get to find out?
Here's your chance to say "what did I expect".  Well...some of this but not the barrage of the same mindless babble. I could say these guys are on a dating site for a reason. They are losers. But I'm there too and as I said I've been successful beyond all expectations.
Sure I could jump out tomorrow and chalk it all up to experience. There is however, a relatively minimum financial investment I'm too cheap to give up and the possibility of another truly great friend right around the corner.
I guess I'll let those straight guys get back to their "shemale" porn films.

Getting "Frisky"!

Ahhh! Not what you think girls (dammit). Again I've been scanning the "Frisky" site for little gems of gender wisdom. If you haven't been there yet."Frisky" is a tamer version of "Cosmo" Magazine.
I read many of the articles comparing what each gender likes and dislikes about each other. Then I try to relate it to my unique position in life.
My latest find was "The Ten Commandments for Dating Guys."Without going into too much detail, the article goes into some of the more "masculine" knowledge women use to attract men .
Of course my mind thought "here are some more reasons for guys to like trans girls"!
Ok, the easy ones. Being a good driver (leaves me out) and knowing your brown liquors such as whiskey's. bourbon's and scotches. Being a good cook is here too. (I can excel here!)
The" could but wouldn't" categories include wearing cotton underwear and being handy around tools.
The "not a chance" section includes yoga and downloading torrents. I probably should do yoga and I barely know what a torrent is.
Quoting "Frisky", guys are "men are both exceedingly complex and irritatingly simplistic creatures." Our backgrounds allow us to cut through much of the male complexity then adds it all back in spades.
On the other hand, none of this should be so complex that we shouldn't have some fun with it and a little extra research shouldn't hurt!

Nirvana

Yes! "Nirvana" is what I feel when my gender meets the soul. It took me this long to finally came up with  a word for the warmth I feel.. According to one dictionary "an ideal condition of warmth, peace and joy."
Even in my part of the winter world, removing my coat, knocking the snow from boots and re fluffing my hair equals instant warmth.
Just taking my life to this point has been an extraordinary journey of pain and joy. A person I met on another site summed it up this way to me:

"It looks to me that TGs core problem is really believing they are who they want to be. It can't be easy; especially after years of doubts, then tentative beliefs, and finally self acceptance and belief in who you really are inside, regardless of what your outside is.   

It obviously takes a lot of courage.  Anyone with half a brain should at least respect that part of the transition. Going from one gender to another, especially if you still stay in your current social and work environment has to be an extraordinary effort!!" 

I'm not searching for a compliment here. I am always searching though, for a person who is literate enough to put into words some of our struggle. The words are more profound when you consider his background. A past that had nothing to do with our family.

Perhaps we should all share in his compliment!

Trans Political?

As trans folk around the planet seem to be more and more in the public eye, acceptance in the gay community does not seem to maintaining the same pace. In one way or another we all have felt shunned. Some of my worst experiences have come in male gay bars where I have been flat out discriminated against. What's worse my story is not an isolated example.
What happened? In June of 1969 in NYC the "Stonewall Riots" happened. When police raided the "Stonewall Inn" the drag queens and butch lesbians fought back for the first time. All of the sudden the gay/lesbian movement in this country had a voice.
I guess it was never really clear what share of the voice trans people had or desired.The obvious was easy. Male and female gay people were easier to categorize into nice little boxes. Trans folk, male or female were not so easy to label. We were and are the round pegs trying to fit into the square holes.
As a group we were "annexed" into the movement, becoming the final letter in the "GLBT" movement. It's easy for me to say let's create this great movement of our own. The truth of the matter is that many of us blend into society and disappear. It is another version of going back into the closet but one I understand and might do myself.
In that sense, we already have succeeded in creating our own movement. Maybe the gay activists have made it easier for lawmakers to add gender equality to society's rules. Those rules then help us to build our new lives.
The bottom line is we are as different to gays as gays are to straight people. The best we can hope for are positive media examples and our own interactions in society to pave the way for understanding on our terms.
Maybe we were all expecting too much to be treated as equals in the gay community?