Getting "Frisky"!

Ahhh! Not what you think girls (dammit). Again I've been scanning the "Frisky" site for little gems of gender wisdom. If you haven't been there yet."Frisky" is a tamer version of "Cosmo" Magazine.
I read many of the articles comparing what each gender likes and dislikes about each other. Then I try to relate it to my unique position in life.
My latest find was "The Ten Commandments for Dating Guys."Without going into too much detail, the article goes into some of the more "masculine" knowledge women use to attract men .
Of course my mind thought "here are some more reasons for guys to like trans girls"!
Ok, the easy ones. Being a good driver (leaves me out) and knowing your brown liquors such as whiskey's. bourbon's and scotches. Being a good cook is here too. (I can excel here!)
The" could but wouldn't" categories include wearing cotton underwear and being handy around tools.
The "not a chance" section includes yoga and downloading torrents. I probably should do yoga and I barely know what a torrent is.
Quoting "Frisky", guys are "men are both exceedingly complex and irritatingly simplistic creatures." Our backgrounds allow us to cut through much of the male complexity then adds it all back in spades.
On the other hand, none of this should be so complex that we shouldn't have some fun with it and a little extra research shouldn't hurt!

Nirvana

Yes! "Nirvana" is what I feel when my gender meets the soul. It took me this long to finally came up with  a word for the warmth I feel.. According to one dictionary "an ideal condition of warmth, peace and joy."
Even in my part of the winter world, removing my coat, knocking the snow from boots and re fluffing my hair equals instant warmth.
Just taking my life to this point has been an extraordinary journey of pain and joy. A person I met on another site summed it up this way to me:

"It looks to me that TGs core problem is really believing they are who they want to be. It can't be easy; especially after years of doubts, then tentative beliefs, and finally self acceptance and belief in who you really are inside, regardless of what your outside is.   

It obviously takes a lot of courage.  Anyone with half a brain should at least respect that part of the transition. Going from one gender to another, especially if you still stay in your current social and work environment has to be an extraordinary effort!!" 

I'm not searching for a compliment here. I am always searching though, for a person who is literate enough to put into words some of our struggle. The words are more profound when you consider his background. A past that had nothing to do with our family.

Perhaps we should all share in his compliment!

Trans Political?

As trans folk around the planet seem to be more and more in the public eye, acceptance in the gay community does not seem to maintaining the same pace. In one way or another we all have felt shunned. Some of my worst experiences have come in male gay bars where I have been flat out discriminated against. What's worse my story is not an isolated example.
What happened? In June of 1969 in NYC the "Stonewall Riots" happened. When police raided the "Stonewall Inn" the drag queens and butch lesbians fought back for the first time. All of the sudden the gay/lesbian movement in this country had a voice.
I guess it was never really clear what share of the voice trans people had or desired.The obvious was easy. Male and female gay people were easier to categorize into nice little boxes. Trans folk, male or female were not so easy to label. We were and are the round pegs trying to fit into the square holes.
As a group we were "annexed" into the movement, becoming the final letter in the "GLBT" movement. It's easy for me to say let's create this great movement of our own. The truth of the matter is that many of us blend into society and disappear. It is another version of going back into the closet but one I understand and might do myself.
In that sense, we already have succeeded in creating our own movement. Maybe the gay activists have made it easier for lawmakers to add gender equality to society's rules. Those rules then help us to build our new lives.
The bottom line is we are as different to gays as gays are to straight people. The best we can hope for are positive media examples and our own interactions in society to pave the way for understanding on our terms.
Maybe we were all expecting too much to be treated as equals in the gay community?

Hippie Chicks Rejoice!

Flare leg jeans are back! Yay!
Check out the "Hope Alexander" fashion post here.
As she says, flares flatter most figures. You can wear them with flip flops or heels.
I just love it!

It's Rare!

To get a glimpse of a life as complex as ours from the other side of the mirror is a special and unique experience.
Over past month or so I've been fortunate to get to know a ftm trans person who is basically going down the same road as I.
He has started a blog which I have offered a link to here:.http://draco-learning.blogspot.com/ .
It provides a very complex view to several issues.
To be perfectly honest, his site is much more intense than mine and crosses the boundaries into the "dom" culture.
On the other hand I've been privileged to read some of his softer romantic writings. As his site grows, I'm sure he will share some of those also!

Transdanista's

Our lives are complex! Decisions, decisions, decisions!!!
All your life you've wanted to get out and show off those beautiful newly shaved legs of yours. You just know how much better the legs will look and how much better you will feel when you wear your new 3" black pumps...to WalMart?
Sorry girlfriends, had to bring up the old crossdresser stereotype. But just when you thought you have seen it all in our world up pops a fashion blog we all should subscribe to. It's called "wtforever" and features fashion mistakes.
My picture from Walmart should be in there somewhere!

Connect the dots

With all the changes in my life recently, a new dose of reality is setting it. I've always have been very careful of my male self creeping into my female life. Now the opposite is beginning to occur.
I've passed along the times I've been referred to as "mam" or "she" when I'm not dressed as one. I don't think I have any qualities that would cause that to happen except my personality. I was subconsciously  projecting girl is my best guess. You know the many times a clerk will not even look at you until the very end of the transaction.  I will get the "she" comment until she looks up. Flattering I guess!
One of the other female traits that is showing up in my male life is the compliment syndrome.
Obviously, women are much more in tune with with nuances of a look. Hair, accessories and clothes are all noticed. Guys of course are into the big picture. "You look nice" is more male than "Wow, I love those earrings".
Without thinking now I'm noticing the smaller things.
I suppose too, I realize how much the little compliment feels to you on an outfit you agonized over! The earrings that matched that sweater exactly took you hours to find!
The only real question is now how much of her does he assume in what's left of his life?

Goodby "10"

So much for the big plans for ending 2010.  Not only did work interfere this year,  I worked New Years Eve for awhile and have to work New Years Day. I've also been really sick for about three days this week.
I hoping none of this is a precursor of 2011.
I really don't believe that it is. Fortune or misfortune is a natural part of life and how you handle it makes you the person you are.
BUT being a tad spoiled, ushering 2011 in with some special friends would have really been my choice!
As it turned out it did, but not the way I expected.
I went to a close neighborhood tavern with a best friend as my male self. Yes, the same place I've been going to for over 30 years. My best friend is a genetic female who knows of my female side but chooses not to mention it.
As the midnight hour approached I was texting friends who only know my female self.
At midnight the bar exploded with the usual fun stupid stuff. Silly strings, horns, hats and poppers.
You know what? Guy self broke down and had a great time.
Does this change anything? No. The only thing this does prove is maybe I am a little wiser after 2010. Hopefully 2011 will prove that.
Peace my sisters and may the force be with you!

Walk This Way!

We've heard and seen it all. Women "Glide", women "Jiggle" and some do nothing at all.
Where do transgender girls fit into this process? Good question!  I personally feel you should wear flats when you are trying to develop a feminine walk. During the process, you don't have to worry about the added pressure of wearing heels. On the other hand I read others that say heels are the only way to learn.
By accident I came upon a site called "Silly Trans Woman". The blog was way too technical for me until the very end when I found this! http://www.biomotionlab.ca/Demos/BMLwalker.html
Check it out. Biomotion has a great tool for dense ex blonds like me. Certainly it should work for you!