Damn, I'm Old!

As I was doing my usual "channel surf" a day or so before Thanksgiving, I saw one of my million channels was showing "Ally McBeal" reruns all Thanksgiving Day. If you have never seen the show, it centers around a yuppie law firm. A very quirky 90's show with Calista Flockhart as the star.
I remembered being excited when I saw the shows preview's originally.  Finally a realistic portrayal of one of us! "Ally" was going to change the life of a "transvestite prostitute."
Of course I wondered exactly how long ago was it? 1997!
I also recalled that two things stood out in the show. The first was how Stephanie the "transvestite prostitute" looked. Very attractive with dynamite legs was how I remembered her.
I was not disappointed! I returned home from my family's Thanksgiving feast and turned on the DVD disk. the episode is called "Boy to the World" and it stars "Wilson Cruz" as Stephanie.
In those days, the "outfits of choice" in the law office were business suits with short skirts and Cruz more than held his own with the rest of the women. The best shot was when he was walking down a short flight of steps with "Jane Krakowski". The camera started at their high heels and followed them down the steps in their short skirts. The fact that Cruz had better legs was even more amazing because "Krakowski" was a dancer too.
Unfortunately, Cruz's looks are where the positives end.
The "transvestite prostitute" title didn't thrill me but again the show aired well over a decade ago. Ally and "Stephanie" (Cruz) did see a shrink who briefly mentioned gender dysphoria but that was it.
Stephanie was also treated badly by Krakowski's character in the show. I would have thought an upscale group of yups would have done better.
I would be remiss if I didn't mention "Dyan Cannon" in this show! She had the most amazing hair! The best part was she supposedly was way too old to have all that curly wonderful blond hair!
Awright girls, I'm not smart enough to tell you how to track this episode down. I saw it on the "Reelz" Network on my satellite feed. The rest is up to you!

Take It Like A Man

I finished a very interesting and complex conversation with my BFF genetic girlfriend tonight. She wanted to think more like a man! An interesting subject since I'm trying so hard to think like a woman.
She had just finished a very frustrating week with a guy friend of hers. She felt the only success she was ever able to have with men was starting to think like one.
So here I was, listening as a woman to my genetic friend wanting to be more like a man?
Be patient with me as I try to explain!
A guy she has known for an long time really drained her emotionally last week. She felt she needed the male "quick fix" to move on. Get out and go!
Guys are good with the quick fix. Simplify a complex problem "Git r Done" and  move on. By her own definition she had to be more like a guy in this instance. I used to have this mindset of course.I knew exactly where she was coming from. Fortunately, my inner girl kept pushing me to hear her out. Do not toss a quick fix at her!
The second major issue she mentioned was the most common. Men don't listen, especially the needy ones. (Her description of the guy last week)  We all know this is true. I don't even have to relate some of the stories I have when I was delegated to a  second class citizen. She went on to say "If I force the issue, I go from being a nag to a bitch." So true again!
So what's a girl to do? Probably what women have since the days in a cave. Work the man from different angles or kick him to the curb. Is that thinking like a man? If so my friend was there!
I listened intently. My female side was being patient and hearing her out. What was she really telling me and where did she want to go with it. My male side was screaming "The guy's an idiot and a loser!" Dump him!
We talked for nearly an hour with no real resolution, again to the chagrin of my male side. My female self on the other hand was happy with the fact that my friend seemed to feel better. At that moment, it was all that mattered.
If I had to guess, my girlfriend won't be too successful at thinking like a guy. She already knows how the male mind works and really only needs the right guy to come along.
At least I hope not. I really don't want my best girlfriend to start thinking like a guy.  Been there...done that!

Dark and Sexy!

In the winter part of the world, darker hair just seems to fit the seasonal mood.
Your look can begin with those new black boots you just had to have. Tuck those skinny jeans into the boots and slide into that "oh so" soft black sweater that falls over your hips.
Pull that black leather jacket out of the closet and you are sexy and set. right?
Not so fast girl, lets check in with another opinion from Deborah Dunham on "the Frisky".

Oh, by the way girl, good luck with your Christmas shopping in those new boots!

Giving Thanks!

Once again it is time to take time out of our busy lives to give thanks for what we DO have!
If you are fortunate enough to have your health...that is number one!
Number two if you have loved or are loved...that is number two.
All the rest of life's problems are minor and can change on a dime! (If you have one!)
This time of year brings out the best or worst in our lives. Between now and Christmas, we have a chance to experience our families in the most positive of situations-or the worst.
Hopefully, this post finds you in the positive category. I do know though that many of the best of families don't accept their transgendered relations. So sad!
Finally, giving thanks includes a hope that all of you have a new family or friends to share just a touch of the season with.
Cyrsti

Can We Talk?

 One major topic we haven't discussed here is communicating vocally as a female. I guess I don't feel it is one of my strong points so maybe I'm burying my head in the sand.
I'm sure you girls know there are many places on the net who will give you pointers or even sell you tips on how to speak as a female.
I scanned a few and personally I'm a believer in the "middle voice" theory. I'm far from being an expert but the theory works something  like this.  The male voice begins down in the diaphragm. Now, you can work the male voice up to a false sounding falsetto which is as bad as the first. So you need to get to the middle ground. You are actually speaking from the middle from your vocal range.  That's the easy part!  There are other factors such as resonance, pitch and intonation. All of these send my head spinning!
Learning to walk and talk like a women. All at the same time? Wow!
My friends tell me my voice fits me as a girl and don't worry and that's great but...I do know I need a lot of improvement!
I do have a couple small hints I use.  When I talk to a woman, I use her as a "pitch pipe". You remember those things your music teacher used to use to get everyone on the same page! I try to get on her same page by trying to mimic her pitch and resonance. I also try to use a "background" voice which means I try to resonate from the middle. Not a deep voice but not a louder one either. That theory gets me in trouble in noisy situations. I am becoming more comfortable in projecting the voice I have but I do believe as I continue this trip, professional help will be needed!
Fortunately, as more of the public becomes transgenderized, some courses are popping up such as the one below.


By Amanda Hess (Twitter @amandahess)

Girl talk: Inside GWU's transgender speech

ON FEMININITY: The individualized program "also depends on what the client’s view of feminine is. Not everyone wants the same thing," says Hancock.
Some transgender women strike an unrealistically feminine tone. “Some people who come in are in their 50's and 60's, and they want to sound like a 20-year-old girl," Hancock says. "They have that feminine ideal of Marilyn Monroe, but that sound is so much younger than they are. Part of the initial program is about setting appropriate goals for their voices."
Others find that a feminine affect disadvantages them in the business world. “A lot of our clients have said that it’s really difficult for them to be in business meetings because they don’t get the same attention or respect with a feminine intonation," Hancock says. "They find themselves going into their lower voice to gain authority in their speech."

I doubt seriously if I will see a course such as this being offered at our community college. I have heard however that speech professors are doing some moonlighting in this area!
The whole idea excites and scares me at the same time! How much fun would it be to totally throw a person into turmoil that believes he or she has read you? A voice to go with the vision would be unbelievable.  No more quick glances when I open my mouth! (Except when I say something stupid)
On the other hand, I don't know if I have the confidence to do the voice training right. What if I fail?
Even if I did fail, what's the bottom line?
As my friends say, there are many women who sound like men. The problem is I don't want to be one!

I've Always Wondered

How do you decide when to shake hands with a guy?
I've always considered it the man's prerogative to offer his hand.That is until I read this short excerpt from "The Frisky". Ironically, I had the opportunity to shake a man's hand tonight before I came home and read the article.
The entire piece centered on flirting with a guy but in particular I felt this excerpt provided the best information.
"Introduce yourself and offer him your hand to shake. When he shakes your hand, hold his gaze and smile. You should disengage from the handshake first so you don’t come on too strong (a girl who won’t let go is creepy). Glance down as you take your seat, then back up again at him with a slight smile on your lips and in your eyes."
In the past, when I have shaken a man's hand, I obviously don't squeeze tight and try to slide my hand gently from his grasp. Judging from this bit of information, I can be a little more aggressive when I'm introduced to a man.

Get Frisky!

On my trips around the web, I sometimes find sites so uniquely feminine I just have to pass them along. I used to be very envious of women and their world on these sites. Now I find them great fun and a great learning tool. Makeup and fashion tips are just the beginning  at "The Frisky". The site just drips estrogen!
Girl stuff such as celebrity gossip and lifestyle issues make the whole site similar to a much tamer "Cosmo" magazine. Check it out.

Speaking of "girl stuff" and estrogen, I'm adding this Trans Girl to my "Red Head Hall of Fame".

She is "Jamie Clayton" who moved to New York City from San Diego and became a renown makeup artist.
In 2008, Jamie decide to step out of "stealth" mode and agreed to an article about her transgendered life.
Just click on the link above to read more about her!
Of course, I couldn't resist one more picture!

Follow Up!

Time goes by so quickly. It does not seem possible the big Monday Night Football trip is now 3 weeks old.
Some have asked for more info about the evening! and what I would do different.
I already discussed the biggest factor...me! I had a real hard time relaxing that evening and letting the night play out. I didn't wear my team jersey which I do wear to sports bars when I watch them on TV.  Why? I was searching for the best possible outfit. I needed to stay warm and look the best I could.  The night turned out to be so mild that a long sleeved shirt under my jersey would have been fine.  Ironically, the jersey is long enough that it gives me a good body shape when I wear it with my favorite old hippie bell bottoms.
OK, enough is enough about fashion. I didn't practice what I preach. "Attitude" is a huge part of presenting female. Did OK but could have done MUCH better.
I've been through this I know but I thought up some other ideas to pass along.  I thought of what the genders do differently at a sports game.  Being a passionate fan is not restricted to one gender anymore.   The women around us were whooping it up equally with the guys.  The difference is how they do it.  Think about the simple act of clapping as a girl.  The biggest difference is clapping with breasts.  You naturally have to do it different The "girls" can get in the way! But that's not all. Many women clap with their palms almost touching and their hands facing each other. Not crossed palm like guys when they clap.
Finally, you can't let out this deep roar when your team scores.  Unless you are real good with your voice, you can go my route and be enthusiastic with a "Yay"! I always thought all of this would be a detriment when I watched the game as a girl. It really isn't and sometimes you will catch the eye of a guy who appreciates a knowledgeable female fan. I'm just careful not to know too much!
Another one of the simple guy things at a game is buying a beer.  Not as simple when that male face is on the ID you are showing to the beer vendor!  I was happy the guy I bought off of carded everyone one but me  He barely looked up at a old broad and sold me a beer. lol. I was unhappy when I found NFL rules forbid the sale of more than one beer per person. I was trying to buy two which meant I had to go and come back for another for my friend.
Actually there are two simple solutions to the beer problem.  Buy the beer in the stands where the vendors normally don't check ID's. It's still the same cheap beer for the same ridiculous price.
Finally, the thought that weighed on my mind the most was the group could have stopped anywhere for food before the game.  The good point to this is-all three others in the group accept me totally as a girl.  The bad thing is-100% of the public doesn't. In the worst way I didn't want to cause any problems for my friends!
While it's true I'm well on the way to feeling really natural in the female world, it is always so easy to fall back and do something which screams GUY!
That too was one of my Monday night worries.
Is that enough paranoia for you? It is for me!
On the bright side, the group is already planning another game for all of us. Something went right!
The evening was actually my second trip to an event. Went to a "Joe Cocker" outdoor concert two summers ago. He was terrible but the night was fun and the only attention I received was from a couple down the row.
I believe that was the evening I learned to applaud different!
I hope I answered a few more questions and didn't bore you girls too much!
If you are into sports I am a Bengals fan and you can feel sorry for me now or call me stupid!  If you are not, the Bengals have been one of the worst NFL teams for decades!
I have learned the internet is really world wide! Can't get anything past me!
Actually Australia and Brazil are in my top 5 list and I thank all of you! I'm sure your Aussie football Or "footy" is every bit as tough as the NFL! But I never said that!

IS It Just Me?

For some reason I just hate being called a "gurl" or "gurrl".
For starters the names are "grinder words" like Scranton or Yonkers. (no offense to either of these places!)
The words just aren't pretty. They provide a mental picture of a guy in hose and heels smoking a big cigar.
Yes they do reference the fact the person you are seeing isn't a 100% genetic female BUT I for one feel 100% real girl when I am one.  I want my inner girl to shine through!
It is very difficult to come up with a term to use with us because we are so varied. I've seen the word "tranny" called a gender slur like "f__"
In addition some trans girls are so beautiful, you have to have a word to tell you they are trans if they are not in "stealth" mode. Stealth means they are living totally as a woman with no reference whatsoever to their previous life or gender.
I don't have the magic word to replace the "g" words above except "she" of course. I also don't have the answer to those of you who are admirers. Again maybe you are not involved as deeply in the transgendered culture and that's fine.
Please don't call me "gurl" and I'll love you! (For at least a couple seconds!)