The "Big D"

 No, I am not writing about Dallas and all of it's problems with winter time.

My "Big D" concerns my gender dysphoria. 

Yesterday I virtually attended a meeting for the upcoming Transgender Month of Visibility which is being produced as a month long celebration of everything transgender by the Trans Ohio organization. As I have previously written about, my small part of the presentation will be on March 26th. As it gets closer, I will have information for you on how to access it. As it stands now, it should be on Facebook Live. The topic will be my pet passion...care for elderly transgender persons. 

At any rate, yesterday, the Zoom meeting meant I had to put together some sort of a basic "look" for the hour. The whole process didn't take long. A close shave, eye makeup, and lip gloss left me extra time to experiment with all the hair I am blessed to have.

When I was done, I was able to look in the mirror and see the me I was always destined to become. In other words, I was able to defeat the "Big D" temporarily at the best. 

I know deep down my gender dysphoria is a nasty beast which I know is difficult to defeat. Even more so since going out in public is so rare. In fact, so rare is I am basically looking forward to my appointment Tuesday with the vampires when they are going to take out a pint of my blood to control my iron.  

Fortunately I am looking forward to riding my temporary victory over the "Big D" and making my upcoming two public visits more comfortable.  Looking slightly ahead, I have my second Covid vaccine coming up on March 13th. 

My goal is to blend as an "more mature" old hippie woman! Now I need to find a pair of wire rimmed glasses. :) 

In the meantime, I will do what I always have done to defeat the "Big D." I will have to keep exploring my options and working hard to be the best transgender woman I can be. 

Trans in Trumpland

 This new documentary "Trans in Trumpland" has been recommended to me by a close friend but I have not had a chance to see it yet. Here is a quick excerpt on what it is all about:

Evonne from Trans in Trumpland

" Trans In Trumpland is a powerful docuseries with a total runtime of under two hours. Filmmaker Tony Zosherafatain takes a road trip across four states in the U.S. that have transphobic laws—North Carolina, Texas, Mississippi, and Idaho—to converse with four transgender people of different ages and races as they cope with or fight against the anti-trans policies implemented by the Trump’s administration. Zosherafatain, who is a trans man himself, gets to tell his own story over the course of four episodes as he meets members of the community to unpack the intersectional issues they face, whether it’s related to race, immigration, poverty.

 Trans In Trumpland doesn’t just focus on these issues; it also demonstrates how these four people try to overcome them on a daily basis. While certain direction and music choices skew on the dramatic side, the docuseries works because of the compelling subject matter, especially the story of trans Latinx immigrant Rebecca, who moved to the U.S. at the age of 10 with her mother and has been detained by ICE three times. It’s a step beyond negative headlines, offering a glimpse into the lived experience of those directly affected by laws such as the discriminatory HB2 bill, which prohibits trans people from using bathrooms and lockers that align with their gender identity, or the trans military ban. 

Created by TransWave Films with Transparent’s Trace Lysette as an executive producer, this docuseries is a heartfelt must-watch. [Saloni Gajjar]"

Check out the trailer:

From India with Love

 Gaurav Arora (below) who is now known as Gauri Arora is a known TV personality and has been a part of many Bollywood and television projects.  Before her sex change, she had participated in the reality show Splitsvilla and then took part in India's Next Top Model as Gauri Arora after having undergone  sex-realignment surgery. Back then, she had said that it takes a lot of courage to accept the reality and come out in public

. "I hope my stint on the show gives courage to a lot of people."

Saints

 Parents who love and support their transgender children are saints! I can't imagine having such supportive parents when I was growing up. In another era before the internet and any social media. Perhaps we can refer to the time as the transgender "dark ages"/

Change is slow though and it wasn't so long ago I was writing about the local transgender teenager Leelah Alcorn  (below) who committed suicide when her parents tried to force her to continue intense religious conversion therapy. 

I am writing this post today because of a comment I received from Janine :

" My son is trans and it is great to read insight from others so that I can support him better. Thank you"

Janine now joins my former hair dresser Theresa as transgender advocates of trans children who have commented on the blog, or in Theresa's case, in person. (Theresa is the proud mother too of a trans son.)

It's a far cry from the experience I had with my Mom when she offered to send me to electro shock therapy. Fortunately, I was old enough (22) and secure enough in myself to reject her and it was never brought up again  by either of us. 

Finally, thanks Janice and Theresa for restoring my faith in human nature. You are saints!

Impostor Syndrome

 If you feel "Impostor Syndrome" in addition to, or part of gender dysphoria this post from Kira Moore's Closet may help.

To me in my past, Imposter Syndrome has crossed gender lines many times in my life. For example, as I climbed the professional ladder in my business profession as a guy, even though I had nearly reached the top, feeling as if I did was still difficult.

Actually,  the term dates back to the early 1970's when it was mentioned by two women :

One of its early introductions was in a 1978 article titled, "The Impostor Phenomenon in High Achieving Women: Dynamics and Therapeutic Intervention," by psychologists Dr. Pauline R. Clance and Dr. Suzanne A. Imes. “Impostor syndrome is a set of beliefs that leave you feeling doubtful of your skills, ability, and whether you deserve to be at the table, and that you will inevitably be exposed as a fraud,” says Dr. Ayanna Abrams, Psy.D., Licensed Clinical Psychologist and owner of Ascension Behavioral Health in Atlanta, GA.

 Outside of the clinical look at the process, the whole idea to me brings back memories of my "girls' nights outs." Outside of being scared to death, I kept having the deep seated fear of not belonging. Even though the conversations still involved me and didn't really have any of the mystical gender fantasies I had manufactured in my mind and held onto over the years. In other words, if I could finally make it  into the "woman's" gender sandbox, I could gain so much knowledge. Indirectly I did.

The article goes on to explain how the syndrome is extra difficult for marginalized communities such as the LGBTQ groups to overcome. And, how becoming part of a community can help. 

Agsain, using myself as an example, I think I was able to overcome my idea I was somehow an impostor in the cis woman sandbox because I started to understand many of the cis women respected me for making the transition into being a full time transgender woman.  Even though I still had my detractors in the group, I was overwhelmingly made to feel welcome. 

Once I finally came to the conclusion I could never fully play in the girls sandbox as a native, I had earned my way in as a woman of transgender experience. Once I arrived, I lost the impostor syndrome for good.

To read more, go here.

Searching

 Recently, we had the second Transgender Day of Visibility virtual meeting which I have attended. What is going to happen is the whole month of March is going to provide different transgender visibility topics. 

Early on, I volunteered to lend my ideas on issues facing elderly transgender senior citizens when they face being housed in assisted living  situations. The group thought it was a great idea, especially if I was able to come up with individuals who have experienced it. Of course, it is a tremendously difficult task to find someone who is at the most still alive and able to speak to their experiences.  

So far, along the way I have left messages on the "Trans Ohio", HRC, and two Cincinnati based transgender groups looking for input. So far, I have received nothing back. Which wasn't non expected. 

Ironically,  the only good information I received led me right back to the board I am part of in Dayton called the "Rainbow Elderly Alliance." The former leader of the group was the undisputed expert in the senior citizen LGBT field was the man who tragically just passed away. On the fortunate side, I was able to virtually attend two of his seminars before he passed. It was then decided it would be fine if I was to come as close as I could to re creating one of his seminars. 

The only problem I possibly encountered was a unique one. Nearly half way into the meeting a person from one of the state wide agencies who is very effective in providing transgender mental health and over all health care joined the session. Immediately, he started talking about contacting doctors about the problem which still provides no input into finding someone who is transgender (not gay or lesbian)   in the system. 

For once I kept my mouth shut and didn't sound like a trans elitist and say to the best of my ability the month after all was about transgender visibility, not LGBT as a whole. 

In the meantime, I am still searching for someone in the assisted car system who has the where with all to speak on their issues and maybe more important the way to do it. 

If you are in the Ohio area and have ideas, please let me know.

Trace Lysette

 Even though I had heard of Trace from her work on television, I didn't realize she is from Dayton, Ohio which is very close to my hometown of Springfield. 

Not surprisingly, Trace went through more than a few troubling times to arrive where she is today. Including losing a job at Bloomingdale after she was denied using the women's restroom. 

She underwent successful gender realignment surgery in Thailand and returned to New York to work as a dancer in Manhattan for nearly eight years.

Trace Lysette's big career breakthrough happened when she landed the role of "Shea", a transgender yoga teacher on the "Transparent" series.

Red Head

 This picture was taken back in the winter of 2018 at one of Liz's martial arts award banquets. My hair is as long now but has reverted to it's natural color. At the request of my hair dresser.

 

Munroe Bergdorf

Recently Transgender model Munroe Bergdorf  has taken on the giants of social media. This excerpt comes from "Reuters":

"LONDON, Feb 16 (Thomson Reuters Foundation) - With online abuse pushing her to quit Twitter, transgender model Munroe Bergdorf has called for social media companies to act faster to tackle racism and transphobia on their platforms.

The Black trans model, who said she regularly receives threats and waits hours for racist comments about her to be deleted, called on social media firms to invest in minorities to design algorithms to better protect themselves from abuse.

"If you can censor a nipple and a picture gets taken down with a nipple on it straight away ... then why can't you develop an algorithm that targets transphobic speech or racism?" the London-based model asked the Thomson Reuters Foundation.

"If you're only investing in cis white men, or cis white people, to write the algorithms then there's a huge oversight there when it comes to lived experience and the nuance of hate speech," she said, using a term to describe non-trans people."

Best of luck!