Saturday, July 10, 2021
But by the Grace
Laura Jane Grace, born Thomas James Gabel, is a singer and guitarist of the American punk rock band Against Me!. In 2012, in a Rolling Stone interview Laura announced her plans to live openly as a transgender woman. After a long period of line-up changes and transformations, in 2014 the band released their sixth studio album, “Transgender Dysphoria Blues.”
Friday, July 9, 2021
Summer Time
One of the few things I do like about summer is a change to wear my silky maxi dresses here is a picture on the left taken pre covid when my hair was much shorter and had not been allowed to return to it's natural shade.
Ironically, it's a surprise to me how many things do change and then again not.
One thing that never changes around here though in Cincinnati, Ohio USA is the summer heat will be with us well into September. We did have a brief break today with a cold front which brought life back to nearly normal
Wednesday, July 7, 2021
Coming Attractions
Over the past week including a couple days coming up, I have been able to get out or at least attend events virtually.
Friday night was the transgender - crossdresser support group social attended by twelve people including Liz and I. We have been going to the same place for years without a problem. To be truthful, the venue isn't the best on service or speed of cooking orders but everyone knows it. Even still, there are a few who make the visit uncomfortable. Overall, it isn't the easiest thing to do to reserve tables together for a group of our size.
Plus, I just was contacted yesterday concerning an alleged comment from the DJ, about the "rude tran-ies" I figure there could be some truth to his bigotry because last week when Liz and I went to the same place by ourselves, he was glaring at us when he first arrived and we were sitting next to his karaoke set up.
We will see if the problems will be raised by the person who told me or not.
It's too bad because Liz and I had a great time with another transgender woman we know and her partner.
The virtual meeting is tonight. It's the monthly board meeting of Rainbow Elderly Alliance. I am sure we will have reports on Pride in Dayton, Ohio.
Finally, looking slightly ahead, Sunday is my youngest grandson's birthday and we will be making the trip up to the Dayton, Ohio suburbs for the party. It will be different because Liz and I are on a strict sugar/flour free diet we just started. So we have to pack and bring our own food. I will mention more about the diet in an upcoming post.
I leave you now with this thought:
Tuesday, July 6, 2021
Monday, July 5, 2021
An Actual Transgender Widow
Connie (left) sent this comment in concerning her wife...a trans widow:
"My wife is a trans widow. When asked how she's been able to handle my transition, she'll tell you that she had to, first, mourn the loss of the man she married. So did I, really. We've been married for 49 years, but it's not the same marriage that we had for the first 40. I know, however, that it would have ended altogether had I continued with the deceit that accompanied and facilitated my cross dressing. I was lying to her and to myself, because I was never really a cross dresser. Even after I came to realize that fact, I continued to live a double life (unsuccessfully, for the most part) for a number of years.
Unlike your situation, my wife was far more receptive to my transitioning than she was to my cross dressing. I'm so much more accessible, both physically and emotionally, than I was when I was sneaking out to "get my girl on." Furthermore, a night out led to my depression the next day. I would wake up the next morning still feeling every bit the woman I had been the night before, and I just couldn't bear the thought of facing the day as a man anymore. My wife recognized this, and she decided that she'd rather have a happier woman in her life than a depressed husband. However, she will never waver from her declaration to me that she made in the beginning: "I am not a Lesbian!".
Sunday, July 4, 2021
Independence Day
Thanks for stopping by Cyrsti's Condo.
Saturday, July 3, 2021
He or She?
MANILA — Vice Ganda does not mind being addressed with either the masculine or feminine pronoun, identifying as non-binary, the comedy superstar said in a now-viral explanation of his gender identity.
The “It’s Showtime” host spoke on the topic in the May 14 episode of the noontime program, during its Tawag ng Tanghalan segment.
Friday, July 2, 2021
Transgender Widows
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Photo by Norbu GYACHUNG on Unsplash |
"A trans widow is a woman (usually heterosexual) whose male partner or husband believes that they have a gender identity other than “man” or who cross-dresses. Often women also report having experienced that their husband or partner has autogynephilic (AGP).
Women in this situation report feeling like their male partner has died. This is particularly true if the partner or husband came out as transgender and decided to transition. The transformation is usually so complete that their partner is unrecognizable as the man they married. Both in looks and personality."
Back to me. My wife and I of 25 years literally waged a gender war of attrition. She unexpectedly passed away from a heart attack when she was 50. Crossdressing on my part was no problem with her but she drew the line when I discussed the possibility of hormone replacement therapy. I am not proud of the times I went behind her back to explore the feminine world and then tried to lie to her about it. My problem was I did love her deeply and selfishly tried to live both sides of the gender spectrum.
Perhaps some of you have attempted to go down the same road before it became too difficult to do.
Over the years, I have found life is but a circle and the time I was down and out was repaid by the life I have now. I was able to find and get along with a cis woman who totally accepts my transgender self. I need to point out though the person I found could have just as easily been a man. Selfishly though, I have always been around women in my life so staying with woman was always easier.
In my case I guess I have been a true transgender widow since my wife passed away in 2007.
Thursday, July 1, 2021
Teaching the Teacher?
Yesterday was therapy day. I have mentioned many times here in Cyrsti's Condo how long I have been with my VA therapist. She is my original therapist with the VA who helped me with my hormone replacement therapy program as well as the paper work to get my legal name change rolling. In other words, a long time.
During most sessions she asks me about the blog and this session our discussion here on "Confidence" caught her attention. Yesterday, it really did when I quoted the conversation here by saying "Confidence is our one greatest accessory." She was so impressed, she wrote it down.
Most of the time I forget I have to backtrack with her and explain what I am saying. An example would be the process we transgender women and men go through to live a new life as our authentic selves. According to Connie, it's a wall:
" I remember much discussion, here on CC, about sitting on the wall (straddling the fence). That may be one degree past being up against the wall, but it's where many of us end up for far too long. Once I had built up enough nerve to make the jump to the other side, I found it to be a soft landing - and I have walked confidently on this side of the wall ever since."
Thanks for the comment! I always referred to my "wall" as a slippery slope. The more I experimented living in a feminine world, sure it was scary but it felt so natural. Finally I made the decision to permanently put my male persona in the closet and live 24/7 as a transgender woman.
Perhaps the teacher will learn just a little more to help the next novice trans person she encounters. I keep telling my therapist to consider just the smallest gender aspect of her life she takes for granted and reverse it. Another example would be when she wakes up in the morning. She has the gender privilege of knowing she is a woman. Most of us knew it too but had to really work to express it.
It's really wonderful when the teacher learns too.
Finally an old picture.
Welcome to Reality
Out with my girls. Liz on left, Andrea on right. I worked very hard to get to the point where I could live as a transgender woman. Once I b...
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I don't find many new womanless pageant pictures floating around the web anymore. I think it's primarily due to the fact that th...