Witches Ball

What a night! Liz went approximately two days without sleep getting decorations ready. The good news was we filled the venue and made a nice amount of money for the two charities we give to.

As far as a costume goes, in a moment of panic, the two outfits I was planning on choosing from didn't work. I finally decided on my long flowing black embroidered skirt and black and white print blouse/top. I also bought a lighter foundation to give me a more "witchy" look. Finally I added the sparkly witches hat Liz bought me with a big spider on the side.

The reactions were varied and took me back to previous Halloweens. Of course I received quite a few looks and one compliment from the best looking cis woman in the crowd. I believe she was biased though because she has known me for a while now. She is obviously a big fan of transgender people. Still, a compliment is a compliment!

Anymore, Halloween is a different type of evening for me.  I have nothing to prove anymore with a feminine costume. In fact, I think the whole evening tends to get me clocked.  I am always aware of the compliment "you look beautiful"...for a man in a dress. Oh well.

Since we decorated the venue, we had to clean it up.  All of a sudden, a late night turned into an early morning. We had to be out by one o'clock and made it by five minutes.

By the time we finished loading and finally were done chatting it was around two in the morning.

The trip home was unremarkable outside of me getting my skirt stuck in the door. You could tell I don't wear a skirt much.

The major problem we encountered was stopping at a certain 24 hour hamburger chain I'm sure you would recognize if I told you. Every time I go there, I come away with the feeling being hungry was a better bet than eating there. So shame on me.

At least the employee at the drive thru window kept referring to us as "ladies" as she apologized for how long the order was taking.   

Transgender Halloween

My Halloween is coming up tonight. It's finally here after a years worth of planning...the Cincinnati Witches Ball.

I am wearing a modified witches costume. Made up of a long layered flowing dress and a glittery witches hat. Not really a radical costume idea but then again, it fits the theme.

Every year at this time, I think back on all the bittersweet Halloweens I had during my cross dressing days. Sweet because I was able to spend at least one precious evening (a year) cross dressed as a girl and bitter because it ended so soon.

I did all of the usual sleezy costume ideas but later on always migrated to costumes which hopefully helped me to look like what a real woman would wear. I would hope other party goers would mistake me for a woman. Which did actually happen a few times.

For some reason though, the whole process just frustrated me more.  Instead of following up on the idea of blending when I cross dressed, I had a tendency to over do it. I became the cross dresser in the mall stuffed into a mini shirt and heels.

Fast forwarding to the present, Halloween for me has become a time to look for possible cross dressers and their costumes. Much of the fun is gone too, because I actually have a job to do at the party.

I guess the true scary meaning of Halloween for me was always replaced by the pressure of choosing a feminine costume and having the courage to wear it.

As the actual Halloween date comes closer, I will post a few of my past experiences!

Hunter Schafer

Transgender actress and LGBTQ activist "Hunter Schafer" who stars on the television show Euphoria:

More Blood Tests

Yesterday marked yet another trip North to Dayton, Ohio to visit my Veterans Administration therapist. Everything went well as my overall mental health has been positive since almost all of my major tests have come back positive. More precisely, my three heart exams and one lung exam. I still have the most difficult test of all coming up, a colonoscopy early next week.  As  Connie would say...a real pain in the rear :).

My blood test yesterday was extremely important in that it checked my body's hormone levels. My endocrinologist wanted the results to see if it will be safe to increase my estradiol. I am very excited to find out the results. Estradiol by the way, is a form of estrogen.

My warning always is, DO NOT attempt to self medicate with estradiol or any other HRT medications. Doing so can be extremely dangerous to your health.

Impossibly High Heels

Connie commented on a recent Cyrsti's Condo post which involved high heels, beer, and coffee:

"So, you don't need high heels to be impossibly high, just a couple of micro brews! Actually, some of those beers have a lot more alcohol content, so a couple of them could be like drinking a six-pack of Bud Light.

I've noticed that wearing "impossibly high heels" could give reason for a couple free beers, bought for me by men (gay or not?). I don't know that my makeup is perfect, but it is perfect for me! I do think about my presentation, and how striving for perfection may be outing myself more easily. Still, when the occasion is fancy enough for it, I will go ahead and doll myself up - and lift myself up, too. Five-inch heels are no problem for me to navigate any room! For me, the daily blend gets boring, and I relish those few times a year when I can throw caution to the wind. I wasn't too tall in my 5" heels that time when Sean Kemp sent over a drink and an invitation to join him at his table! I've always joked about that incident, in that Sean had so many children by so many different women, he must have felt I would be a safe and cheap date. :-)

I'm glad to hear that your foot is better, by the way. Not that I expect to also hear you're wearing impossibly high heels, though. ;-)"

For sure, high heels have a mystical erotic value. Even a sense of power for men and women. Sean Kemp surely would agree!

The beer I was drinking was a bourbon barrel stout which carried an 8% alcoholic content. By comparison, when I worked in the bar business years ago, we had to make sure Coor's Light wasn't buried in the cooler where it would freeze. The alcoholic  content was so low. 

I felt bad that even if I can't wear high heels anymore, I couldn't even drink more than two stout beers. I don't feel too badly about not being able to wear high heels anymore, self preservation at my age is a priority!

Transgender Acceptance

Sunday was a very busy day, with many different errands to run and people to see.

It was a beautiful sunny fall day, perfect weather for leggings and my powder blue light sweater. Plus, for once in a very long time, I felt healthy with no aches or pains in my foot. Naturally, it made walking so much easier and I did a lot of it.

Before we left, I had a chance to see CBS News Sunday Morning show on the television. One of the show's features was a revisiting of a show five years ago with several transgender kids. It was very well done and I have added a link here if you haven't seen it. I would check it quickly before it goes away.

Then,we started the day by going to a large game/restaurant venue to pick up what turned out to be a very generous donation to this years Cincinnati Witches Ball. The place had just opened so there were very few people around to notice or be noticed.

From there, we headed back across town to attend a memorial for a dear friend who passed recently. His sister was holding the memorial for his partner in a local tea/coffee shop. As Liz headed for the rest room, I was left to negotiate the ordering process. Since I am not really a tea drinker, I opted for a dark roast coffee and ordered Liz her tea. In the midst of a very busy venue, I received extra ordinarily good service I thought and most of it came because I am transgender. We were asked at least three times if everything was OK.

Ironically, I am fairly sure I wasn't the only trans person in the room. I was introduced to the "wife" of an obviously very gay man. I was impressed by how the trans woman could navigate the crowded surroundings in a pair of impossibly high heels. In fact, the shoes, combined with perfect makeup (to me) gave her away. Plus, she refused to make eye contact at all.

Next, it was time to say our sad goodbyes and head to a very busy grocery store for our weekly shopping. Other than dodging mean old people in electric carts, the whole trip was very mundane. People aren't there to notice anyone and the clerks are in "check out and get out" mode.

Our next stop was a fun one. We had a Witches Ball committee meeting at the place we are having the ball next week...one of the bigger local micro breweries. They have a big party room we are renting. The meeting always gives me a chance to sample one or two of the brewery's fall offerings. These days, two are about all I can handle! We were able to sit outside and conduct the meeting and figured out we were still missing a couple items for a gift basket we are setting up an auction for. So, it was time to leave the brewery, another very accepting place and head to a giant specialty beer store and purchase items for the basket.

The beer store is attached to a huge grocery store, so again Liz and I had to walk a long way to even find the beer section. Find it we did and our day was almost over.

As we made our way back home, I had a chance to reflect back on the day and how far I have come in the world as a transgender woman.   

Coming Out Day...Again

I have been out for so long, I don't normally give much thought to the National "Coming Out Day" which was yesterday.

As I have always written about, coming out can be on very many levels. As little as cross dressing and going out on rare occasions when you are safe, all the way to living full time as a transgender woman. Both are equally as important to the overall trans cause.

Through all of this though, I had my own "coming out" experience this morning. With our changing weather and numerous errands to run this morning, I had to go my wardrobe and find an outfit which was comfortable and was designed to blend with the majority of cis women I encounter. I came up with my long sleeved Durango, Colorado railroad shirt, along with a slightly faded pair of leggings with a pair of tennis shoes.

Normally, I am not real impressed with yet another rather mundane outfit but this morning  However, today somehow was different. For once I accepted I had arrived. This was life as I hadn't really planned for but found anyway. 

The coming out process for me went something like this.  I always knew my goal was to blend. Early on I focused on professional women around me. As I progressed though, I decided I loved the "hippie" bohemian styles from my youth. Finally these days I have settled on comfort and whatever style I can afford. I love this part of the year because I can wear my soft sweaters. colorful leggings and boots.

Most importantly, I have reached a point of having confidence in my feminine appearance which accordingly has acted as a deterrent to my gender dysphoria.

Whatever coming out means to you, building confidence could be your best friend. After all, the great majority of us start so far behind cis women applying makeup and having understanding of what outfits are flattering or not. One of the major problems is battling the mirror which always tries to lie to you and going through our teenage years when we are much older. Which leads to the stereotypical mid aged cross dresser in the mall stuffed into a mini skirt and heels.

Rest assured, it is all part of the coming out process. Here's to hoping yours is coming along well too!

Victoria's Secret becomes Inclusive

After years of excluding transgender and plus size models in their stores advertising, Victoria's Secret has finally become more inclusive.

Starting this month, Victoria’s Secret is collaborating with British designer Emily Bendell. See-through bras, lacy panties, bodysuits with sharp geometric lines and garter belts in shades of crimson, black and white can be found at victoriassecret.com and in seven select stores in the U.S. and U.K. as part of the Bluebella collection, Bendell’s brand. 

The collection has a twist — that’s because it fulfills parent company L Brands Inc.’s promise to update its marketing strategy. Transgender model and actress May Simón Lifschitz and plus-size model Ali Tate Cutler, along with Olivia Sang and Laura Rakhman-Kidd, can be seen in advertisements for the collection on the company’s web site and on images inside and outside of the stores carrying the line. These include New York’s flagship along Fifth Avenue and London’s Bond Street store. Another step forward!

Trans model May Simon Lifsschitz

Yet Another Group?

Perhaps you remember the transgender woman I have called "The Moderator" here in Cyrsti's Condo. She is the one who ran all of the transgender - cross dresser support group meetings I normally attend, as well as most of the trans socials.

For some reason I don't know, she abruptly left the Crossport group this week. I would imagine sooner or later I will hear gossip why but I haven't so far.

In the meantime (and very rapidly) the expelled member has started her own group. So far she is trying to mimic the well established first group by hosting two support group meetings a month, plus at least three socials.

So far, Liz and I have been invited to join the new group on Facebook, plus the first social this Saturday night. I am not sure what we are going to do yet.

On one hand, I wouldn't mind going. On the other, I would like to have a few more details on what caused the split.

This Saturday is one of the rare days during the college football season which The Ohio State University Buckeyes aren't playing. So, Liz and I have a open possible date night.

I still have a couple of days to figure it out and see what the original group does to schedule any of their regular socials.

No need to hurry!

Truthfully, I don't think this city should be asked to support two groups, seemingly so alike.