Following the "Money?"

A couple of you correctly commented on the latest example of a cis male actor playing a transgender woman. From a post here in Cyrsti's Condo:

1. JaeFebruary 28, 2015 at 4:19 PM

   Eddie is probably the best actor around at present and for that reason alone he was chosen for the role. If trans actors play cis roles, why shouldn’t cis actors play trans roles.
2. 
   MichellewhoisMarch 1, 2015 at 9:26 AM

   I wonder if the reason the producers when with him was because of the box office draw. He has won several awards for his performances and has become a big name in the industry. You are right that there is most likely trans actors out there that could do the part better from experience but it's the name that would draw in the crowds (=MONEY) that they went with.
3. Thanks to both of you!  I would only add Jae, when trans actors do play cis roles with any frequency-the reverse should happen and Michelle-the money does do the talking.  Until trans actors begin to carry the "star" power to carry a box office risk -"show me the money"- I'm sure will be the rule with film/broadcast productions.  
4. 
   

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Ker Plunk!!! Another Sunday version of our week in review has hit your Sunday virtual front porch. Yep-still very cold and very snowy where I am in Ohio. So, warm jammies and a hot cup o joe are standing by!

Page 1.- Live Long and Prosper!  Very recently, Leonard Nimoy passed away.  If you are one of the few who doesn't know, Nimoy played Spock on Star Trek which debuted in the 1960's.  The original show only lasted three years but became legendary later.  I found it interesting NBC tried to get rid of Spock's ears because of adverse "devil worship" mail. (Some things never change!) Remembering back to the original show, I knew I loved the women character's costumes and my own particular fave phrase from the show was "Beam me up Scotty, there is no intelligent life down here!"

Page 2.- Unsocial Media?  Last night, I was invited to a charity event called "Dayton Knockout". It was held in Dayton, Ohio an was a very amateur boxing event. The woman sitting right behind me has been a very close friend for years and was one of the people who was very instrumental to me increasingly coming out of the closet.  Last night, her daughter was actually one of the boxers last night. We were up on the stage, very close to the ring.  As I look at the picture for the first time, I wonder just what the hell did I get on my leggings?  The fun part was, not 15 minutes after the picture was taken, I got a text from my daughter asking (laughingly) what I was doing there.  Really? I asked her just what she was doing camped out on her computer (on Facebook?) and no, I was actually in Milwaukee. (well not really)

Page 3.- The Week that Was or Wasn't.  Predictably, transgender news was all over the spectrum.  In my home territory, Cincinnati, Ohio still seems to be searching for the real reasons behind Leelah Alcorn's suicide. We read a very positive story about young "Zay"- a story of what is possible when a transgender child is raised by understanding parents. But then comes another story of a tragic successful suicide attempt by a young transgender woman of color in Maryland- Melonie Rose. I still find it unfathomable a parent would literally sacrifice their child for being trans.

Page 4.- The Back Page.-  Borrowing a quote from yet another Sci Fi classic: "May the Force be with all of You this Week!" Thanks for stopping by Cyrsti's Condo.

First Looks

From theFrisky: " The first look at Eddie Remayne (left) as trans artist and model Lili Elbe, whom he will be portraying in the upcoming film The Danish Girl. Elbe was one of the first identifiable recipients of a gender corrective surgery, in Germany in 1930. Tragically, Elbe died in 1931 at the age of 48 when an attempted uterus transplant went wrong.

In life, however, Elbe was a vibrant woman living the life of a libertine artist in early 1900s France. Which, I think, is what we all wish we were doing right now.

Here she is in real life, wearing a jaunty hat! "

OK, here is my question I assume most of us  are all waiting for, were there no transgender actors/actresses capable of doing this role?

Burying the Mascara?

Of course, so many of us "started" our cross dressing activities in our Mother's clothes and makeup.  Also, the majority of us either spent tons of energy "hiding" our "hobby" from Mom for years and years.

I have written numerous times here in Cyrsti's Condo about my relationship with my Mom who has long since passed away.  She was very much a product of the "Greatest Generation".  She grew up through the Depression Years and WWII.  She was also a teacher, outspoken and had a real edge. 

Another focus of my therapy visit was my own lack of empathy.  Really me? Get away Lol!  And then returned to my upbringing and Mom. Finally, I mentioned the electro shock therapy suggestion Mom threw out when I came out to her in 1975 as a transvestite. 

Excuses turned out not the best solution with my therapist as I said (truly) I didn't have much emotional connection growing up with either of my parents.  They were great providers and cared deeply for their children but just did not have the capacity to be emotional role models.  So, I told the therapist, I didn't view my Mom as my ideal feminine role model.  Without missing a beat she said, why don't you "adopt" another "role model?" And, if you did, who would she be?

Good question.  Ideally, my perfect role model would be mixtures of feminine values such as intelligence, nurturing, spiritual mixed in with a soft touch of vulnerability.  After the laughter in the room calmed down, (not many of those Goddesses running around!) We moved back to Mom.

To make a long story short, at 65 years, at three in the morning the other night-I decided to remember all the good things about Mom and love her for what she was in the era she lived. Some of you do know too, I'm am beginning to make my very first efforts at changing my gender markers.  The names I am adopting come from my Grandfather on Mom's side - Jessie and Mom's name as my middle name.  Cyrsti, for lack of a better term will become sort of a stage or writer's name.

One thing is certain, after I do it and Mom quits spinning in her grave-I can hear her say "Don't tell your Dad!"

Courage Under Fire/ Words?

I imagine most of you have worked for a company or were in the military and had a chance to ask a superior a question.  I'm not talking about your immediate boss, but one way up the line. Way back in the day when I was in the Army I was a "Spec 4" so I really didn't register on the radar of anyone of the "full bird" colonel rank or above (general.)  So, I never was able to ask any rhetorical questions such as "Why are we fighting this stupid war in Vietnam-Sir?"

So, I was surprised and pleased when I read this story from the
Advocate :Last Sunday, a young Navy officer serving in Afghanistan made history with an act of bravery that’s made headlines around the world.
It took place during a “commander’s call” in Kandahar, Afghanistan, where the new secretary of Defense, Ash Carter, was speaking to troops on his first visit to the country. When he finished his remarks and called for questions, Lt. Cmdr. Jesse Ehrenfeld of the U.S. Navy Medical Corps raised his hand. He thanked Carter for speaking with them, then asked, “Sir, what are your thoughts on transgender service members serving in an austere environment like this?”

There are yet other positive advances on the transgender military front:  LifeSiteNews.com) – A draft memorandum uncovered by USA Today suggests that the U.S. Army may soon make it more difficult to discharge soldiers who consider themselves transgender, a move reminiscent of policy changes made during the lead-up to the repeal of the military’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” (DADT) policy on homosexuality.
Currently, gender dysphoria – more commonly referred to as “transgenderism” – is considered a psychosexual disorder by the U.S. military and is grounds for being dismissed from service.

Check out the links above for more.

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

“Transitioning is such a personal decision.”

While Angel Qinan, Sacramento’s first transgender model, is sounding off on Bruce Jenner’s presumable dilemma, she may as well be talking about her once-upon-a-time private struggles.

Angel Qinan was born Angel Castillo and attended La Salle Greenhills, a private Catholic school for boys in Manila.

 

Angel Qinan waited patiently for the right time. The FilAm photo

“In grade school I wondered why my mother dressed me only in plain shirts, shorts and trousers. I preferred the girls’ clothes–pretty blouses, skirts, and dresses!” she remembered. “Feeling like a girl, I wanted to wear girl clothes and was frustrated that I couldn’t!”

Such feelings were taboo in a strictly Catholic society like the Philippines, so she kept them to herself for years. At age 17 she first expressed her desire to become a woman. Angel’s mother urged her to keep those thoughts to herself because she wanted to shield her son from gossip, ridicule, and sometimes physical assault. Angel patiently postponed her transition.

Read more here from GMA News

"Eye-Eye" Mamn

As Momma Fortune would have it, as I was beginning to write this Cyrsti's Condo post, I jumped over to Femulate  and read what Stana was up to. It turns out she had written a very interesting post about the concept of "passing".  I think it is very much a which came first "The chicken or the egg?" concept. Indeed, how much does attitude factor into navigating the world as a feminine person and does it come after one has achieved a certain level of knowledge of how to present one's self. 

How Stana's post worked into mine happened yesterday, as I mentioned briefly in my last post. Essentially, I was wrapping up a long day. After the therapist visit I made the 100+ mile trip down to Liz's in time to help take her 89 year old Dad to the Doc. We then got him home in time to ship a package at USPS before they closed and only then had a chance to stop and get vittles for dinner.

By this time of my day, I had had no time to touch up the make up I happening to still be wearing by the time we went into a close by regular big grocery store, close to Liz's house.  As we came through the front doors, I just happened to make eye contact with a nearby woman.  Normally anymore, my eye contacts with women are fleeting and without much reaction. This person was different in the fact she was nearly as tall as I am and happened to show up again in the checkout line next to ours.  By this time, I had alerted to Liz to take a look at her and see if we knew her.  She said no but Liz began to watch her as she watched me. 

I was just interested.  I am pretty much way past how peeps view me.  Sure I get looks but most of the time I am with Liz, so I am passing by default.  I am living my life and the world is living theirs'.

Like Stana (and so many of you) I work hard on the image I present to the public-because I want to and I have to. I do think the effects of HRT have helped me to quote "pass" but the added confidence I have from the shear amount of life "lessons" I have learned (and continue to)-probably helps me more.

Finally, I go back to one of my basic "passing" concepts: You can look as beautiful as you can in your mirror -or in a picture but as soon as you enter the world, it's a whole different gender universe- no matter if you identify as a cross dresser or a transgender woman.  One really has to act like she has been there before to "pass" and by the way-didn't the egg have to come first?

Training the Therapist?

Well, what turns out to have been my last VA therapist visit for awhile, went very much without any amazing results.  I don't think therapy in essence is designed to have instantaneous mind blowing results. (No pun intended-yes it was!)

In yesterday's Cyrsti's Condo post, I mentioned perhaps offhandedly about not thinking my therapist may be qualified to talk to me.  Michellewhois (Thanks!!!) mentioned in a comment, I could request another. It turned out my therapist is leaving the VA for greener pastures and I didn't have to-if I wanted and she offered. I respectively declined. Historically, for the most part, I have been able to balance the many facets of my life without therapy. Please remember though, to each their own as far as therapy goes.

Perhaps the most meaningful part of the visit grew out of when she told me "I seemed 'more grounded.' (Remember, I did my first session with her in guy drag.) I just said, I am more grounded now because I have very simply "synced" my gender with my outside self.  The conversation "morphed" into perhaps I had a bit of an easier time of transitioning into a feminine lifestyle because of my previous experiences working with groups of generics.  Specifically, power structure differences between the genders. 

All of this lead us into coming up with her three major male gender influences-or what men really care about (other than sex). I don't remember her other two, but I added power to her list. After all, it has been a very relevant topic following the release of the "Fifty Shades of Gray" movie.  I just told her, like so many aspects of a guy's life, power is a much simpler concept than a woman's. Just toss in equal parts of physical and financial powers and pretty much you got it.  The sublets of athletic prowess and looks fall into the physical parts and the financial speaks for itself.  Yet another benefit of working through a MtF gender transitioning I told her, was watching men. Interact in their world-one which is no longer mine.

So, that was it.  On another bright side, my primary doctor's lead nurse literally ran into me in the hall and she was able to update all of what has been happening with me within the VA.-a highly desirable deal!!  Before the day was over however, people watching was very much back into my thoughts. Not with men though, but with a generic (I assume).  More coming up!

Therapy?

Today is my second therapist appointment of the winter. Actually, looking back, only having to reschedule twice since January isn't too bad considering our weather.

I have a problem with therapist appointments. Are they supposed to talk?  Get me started jabbering and I dominate without thinking about anything else. Last time I even stopped and asked the therapist if she was supposed to talk? The problem I have with therapy sessions are-what are we having them about?  In my case, actually, being transgender is just a small part of why I'm there. Everything else in my world is what has a tendency to get in my way.  As I think about it though, much does come from reestablishing myself in the world in the gender I always wanted to be.  Yesterday, I even locked up in a conversation with my sister in law concerning the internal changes of HRT on me.  She asked what? After stuttering around I finally said, it's a whole new gender world for me. I can't explain it to you because you grew up with it.  Enough said?

Rightly or wrongly too-as far as I know, the therapist I am assigned to at the VA, may have never seen another transgender person before. But, I do know at my clinic at least, they became very concerned about my mental well being after I expressed concern last December.  Either way, it's all good. I wish I could forward any relevant info from today's session, but you all read enough of my jabbering here in Cyrsti's Condo, so I won't bore you more.  At least the therapist is getting paid!!!